Machete

I almost had to put this in the Rant forum. I am sitting here watching Machete on a free Cinemax preview. Every time I see Jessica Alba trying to act, I get frustrated and preoccupied with the process of analyzing her bad acting. Where are the women I can bang to get my lucky break? She cute an all, but imo Lohan and Michelle Rodriguez are much more attractive, at least in this movie.

would somebody please knock her up so we don't have to look at her anymore.

Dude, what are you smoking? Jessica Alba is gorgeous!! While I agree that her role/acting in this particular movie was not the best, she is still much more attractive than Rodriguez and Lohan. (Also she has been pregnant twice)

What I am smoking has nothing to do with it. She is very pretty, but the more I look at her she irritates me. On occasion she gets a good angle, but usually not.

Lohan has much prettier eyes thats just the way it is.

reply to post by Mailman


Sorry dude, I don't see it!! I would do Alba in a second, while I would take maybe 3 seconds of contemplating for Rodriguez and would just turn Lohan down!

lol. some people has less patience for less intelligent people than others. I too am guilty.

reply to post by SLAPurMAMA


And those aren't Lohan's boobs in Machete! It's a body double! Sorry to burst any bubbles!
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All three are smoking hot, it'd take me literally seconds. For what, I'll leave to your imagination.

What were we talking about again?

Oh, Machete. Haven't seen it yet, want to though. Some say it sucks, others say it kicks mucho ass. Well considering I loved Cloverfield, Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny and Commando and hated The Hangover and American Pie and it's countless and pointless (cointless? pountless?) sequels, I think I should be fine somewhere in the middle for this one.

reply to post by curious7


You gotta see it at least once!! Hopefully Blu Ray on a big hd!
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reply to post by SLAPurMAMA


Somebody give me a star already, and you will be my 100th! COME ON!!

reply to post by Mailman


I had to laugh when I saw this thread as I was looking at the guide and saw this movie so I decided to see how it was.

Not the greatest but she can kick butt in a movie. I liked when she put her high heeled shoe into his eye.

The movie itself sucks, it looks like it was made by a 8 year old with all the bullcrap he does and the actual filming looks like crap.

reply to post by BigBruddah


It was made in Grindhouse fashion! That is all!
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reply to post by SLAPurMAMA


It's a shame Rodriguez is gay, she's hawt, Alba is astonishingly beautiful.
Lohan Lolan Lol LOl LOLOLOL lololol. Urgghh.


I bet she was acting bad to fit the theme of a movie made to be pretty bad.

LMAO! i actually have a friend who is in this movie. His name is Billy Blair. He is also in Jonah Hex and a scy-fy (however they changed the spelling of that channel) original movie called Mongolian Death Worm.

I can't say I'm a big Jessica Alba fan, but she's not an ugly woman for sure... i cant imagine any guy not wanting to do her, unless of course, he himself looks like Travis Fimmel or something.

I got stuck in a room earlier in which Fast & Furious (or Young & The Restless or whatever that car movie is called *snicker*) was on, and i noticed that Michelle Rodriguez's acting wasn't all that great in that movie. She seems ok in other movies, though.

ETA: SLAPurMAMA, your avatar creeps me out!

Have you seen Jessica Alba in Sin City?!?!? OMG, yes please!

Anyhow, just to re-itterate what others have said... Lohan hasn't got # on Alba

Originally posted by SLAPurMAMA
reply to post by curious7

 

You gotta see it at least once!! Hopefully Blu Ray on a big hd!

2nd line

I would but I'm honestly not into the Blu Ray fad, don't own anything on that format, I refuse to.

2nd just to remind myself how hot Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez and Lindsey Lohan are

They call him....

How weird that in this topic titled "Machete", it is all about Jessica Alba. Well, I guess that is not that weird lol.

The movie was as goofy and cheesy as any of Robert Rodriguez's other movies. I can't tell anymore if they're supposed to be that way on purpose or not. I understood the message of the film, but I would have personally tried defying Mexican stereotypes instead of embracing every single one of them for the movie!

Danny Trejo, by the way, is 67 years old. (I just found that out)

Every time I see Jessica Alba trying to act, I get frustrated and preoccupied with the process of analyzing her bad acting

You watch Jessica Alba for her acting ability? That's like watching a Britney Spears video for the music...

I loved this movie. Of course, you have to go into it with the right mindset, and expectations.

Fair warning to audiences...this movie has a LOT of gratuitous violence and nudity (but then again, that's kind of what these grindhouse style movies are about)....

On a side note, Lindsay Lohan gets very naked in this...