Regaining A Connection

I just have a bit of a concern regarding the connection I have with my fiance. A difficult situation arose a couple of months ago (wont go into details) which has since been resolved. Unfortunately for both of us, its seems to have left our relationship a bit emptier than what it used to be. We are both committed to getting back to where we used to be, but it seems to not be an easy thing to do.

I was wondering if anybody else has been in this situation, and what they did to regain that love, affection and connection with their significant other.

Unfortunately without knowing the specifics man, I don't think I can really give you any proper advice.

When was the last time you two went on a road trip, or spent an entire day together doing something romantic?

Best wishes buddy!

Whatever you do...

Don't trip over the stair in front of you by looking backwards......

Originally posted by litterbaux
Whatever you do...

Don't trip over the stair in front of you by looking backwards......

Excellent advice, too many times have I been looking behind me and then ran into a wall, when the door was 6 inches away.

Sometimes the only solution is to look forward and simply learn from the past, do not live in it.

Originally posted by ThinkingCap
Unfortunately without knowing the specifics man, I don't think I can really give you any proper advice.

When was the last time you two went on a road trip, or spent an entire day together doing something romantic?

Best wishes buddy!

We are actually going on a holiday in less than a week. Hoping it all goes well

Should we be being more affectionate...like just acting without doing it?

Originally posted by OzWeatherman

Originally posted by ThinkingCap
Unfortunately without knowing the specifics man, I don't think I can really give you any proper advice.

When was the last time you two went on a road trip, or spent an entire day together doing something romantic?

Best wishes buddy!

We are actually going on a holiday in less than a week. Hoping it all goes well

Should we be being more affectionate...like just acting without doing it?

If your going on holiday in a week.... and you were paying me to give you advice on this. I'd tell you.

Just kidding!

Here's what you do. Number one... and the biggest one by far.... understand... you don't need her. She's probably not paying your bills or keeping your heart beating. Women are like cats, the less attention you give them the better. The small amount of attention you do give them needs to be GENUINE! You can't fake around women and women get turned off fastest when your a WUSSY! Number 2... take words like "im sorry" out of your vocabulary. We all make mistakes, be a man about it. Admit you messed up, man up! Women especially appreciate that trait. Number 3.... Have fun with her but don't be "psycho crazy into her". This is your opportunity to look at other women and its ok, it actually triggers jealousy in her which is arguably the strongest emotion.

I have and will not date a woman I once had a relationship with tho, It never ends well. It's almost like a life lesson that history repeats itself. But each time its more catastrophic, until you realize its not worth it and move on.

I wish you luck tho, watch out for the stairs tho =)

reply to post by OzWeatherman


you can have a product made of metal, like a handlebar for a bicycle. when new its bright and shiny and helps you guide the bike you are so proud of. after time the finish may dull a little bit but it still looks fine and works proper.

if you have a bad spill on your bike and find your handlebar got bent you may be able to coax it nearly back to its original shape. but it will never be the same; metal once damaged and bent back is weakened.

your choices:

a. replace the handlebar with a new one.

b. remember the good rides you've enjoyed with your bike and press on.

sometimes we have to make a decision about our bike. consider both sides, the good and the bad, make your choice and proceed accordingly. you will be okay because you have used your ability to think and rationalize to arrive at your decision.

new bikes are always nice. the bike you've been with for years through good and bad weather and still cherish after the new has worn off and there's a few scratches and scrapes, that's something special.

Originally posted by OzWeatherman

We are actually going on a holiday in less than a week. Hoping it all goes well

Should we be being more affectionate...like just acting without doing it?

Try not to put pressure on yourself (or her) to get things perfect on your holiday. Laugh a lot, be spontaneous and it never hurts to do something exciting/adventurous/a little dangerous to get the energy flowing. Mostly, just try to relax and have some fun together.

reply to post by LadyS


...that's pretty much the best advice you can get.

other than that, like in previous posts, sometimes the effect after the cause is absolute, and can't be undone.


no matter what happens though, make sure you learn from it.

Originally posted by litterbaux

Originally posted by OzWeatherman

Originally posted by ThinkingCap
Unfortunately without knowing the specifics man, I don't think I can really give you any proper advice.

When was the last time you two went on a road trip, or spent an entire day together doing something romantic?

Best wishes buddy!

We are actually going on a holiday in less than a week. Hoping it all goes well

Should we be being more affectionate...like just acting without doing it?

If your going on holiday in a week.... and you were paying me to give you advice on this. I'd tell you.

Just kidding!

Here's what you do. Number one... and the biggest one by far.... understand... you don't need her. She's probably not paying your bills or keeping your heart beating. Women are like cats, the less attention you give them the better. The small amount of attention you do give them needs to be GENUINE! You can't fake around women and women get turned off fastest when your a WUSSY! Number 2... take words like "im sorry" out of your vocabulary. We all make mistakes, be a man about it. Admit you messed up, man up! Women especially appreciate that trait. Number 3.... Have fun with her but don't be "psycho crazy into her". This is your opportunity to look at other women and its ok, it actually triggers jealousy in her which is arguably the strongest emotion.

I have and will not date a woman I once had a relationship with tho, It never ends well. It's almost like a life lesson that history repeats itself. But each time its more catastrophic, until you realize its not worth it and move on.

I wish you luck tho, watch out for the stairs tho =)

Ugh! Macho relationship advice...... bad advice!
Was the incident your fault or hers? Or both? In either way it doesn't matter! Just sit back and follow the flow of the moment! DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING, let time tell if you will make it together or not!

Originally posted by KhaliWitch

Ugh! Macho relationship advice...... bad advice!
Was the incident your fault or hers? Or both? In either way it doesn't matter! Just sit back and follow the flow of the moment! DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING, let time tell if you will make it together or not!

edit on 13/8/2011 by KhaliWitch because: (no reason given)

Initially it was my fault, but both of us havent been able to regain the connection. We both want to, but she feels like Im not being myself, and I feel like she is not understanding me. Her temperament doesnt help either, but neither does my lack of common sense.

Im not sure what to do....I just wanna go back to having fun with her

Originally posted by OzWeatherman
I just have a bit of a concern regarding the connection I have with my fiance. A difficult situation arose a couple of months ago (wont go into details) which has since been resolved. Unfortunately for both of us, its seems to have left our relationship a bit emptier than what it used to be. We are both committed to getting back to where we used to be, but it seems to not be an easy thing to do.

I was wondering if anybody else has been in this situation, and what they did to regain that love, affection and connection with their significant other.

*hugs*

Since I do know about your situation as you do mine I will say this.

Date again. Do the things that got you connected when you met.

Set up date night or movie night.

I have done this and will probably be doing it considering my situation right now. We shall see after this afternoon.

I know she loves you! You two just need to get that spark back and you can! It's there!

Remember the long conversations you use to have? Do those again, they do work. Well they have for me

Good luck and you know where to find me if you ever want to talk

Originally posted by LadyS

Originally posted by OzWeatherman

We are actually going on a holiday in less than a week. Hoping it all goes well

Should we be being more affectionate...like just acting without doing it?

Try not to put pressure on yourself (or her) to get things perfect on your holiday. Laugh a lot, be spontaneous and it never hurts to do something exciting/adventurous/a little dangerous to get the energy flowing. Mostly, just try to relax and have some fun together.

edit on 13-8-2011 by LadyS because: (no reason given)

Thanks for that. We talked about it and she has the exact same idea as you.

I tell you, without you women, us guys would be lost

reply to post by OzWeatherman


Men have logic, women have intuïtion. Combine the two and you can do everything!