Originally posted by doobydoll
Originally posted by sbctinfantry
Sorry, I don't think that anyone but me should ever lay a hand on my child. I also believe that if my child deserves a hand laid on them, then I
failed as a parent and deserve the punishment more than my child.
I have to agree with you that I wouldn't have anyone touch my kids either.
But what about parents giving their kids a smack if they think it's needed? Parents are committing a crime nowdays if they smack their wayward kids.
How would any of you deal with a son who was lighting fires as in my son's case?
Why are parents being blamed for their badly behaved and anti-social kids? Grounding and taking their things away won't work on a lot of kids, but
parents will find themselves in court if they use CP.
I DO punish my children when they are wrong, but I also sit them down and talk to them and try to make them understand why they were punished. That
doesn't mean I always resort to spanking, but when it involves something dangerous or on the same level of seriousness ther are times I use it.
Most of the time I try to give my kids the chance to do the right thing, and talk about it whether they do the right or wrong thing. Lessons don't
always need to be taught after a negative experience.
As for your child burning things, it seems that he is using fire as an outlet for some emotions he can't express any other way. I would suggest
talkin about it more and if that doesn't work, counseling. Usually a good kid won't do something if they think it will directly hurt a person or
animal. If your child is doing these things knowing he will possibly hurt someone or destroy a habitat for an animal, then he has some serious issues
that will require not only counseling, but an alternative outlet for his emotions and urges.
My daughter has a small obsession with knives. She is five years old, and very intelligent for her age. After catching her doing the wrong thing a few
times, we sat down and talked and both came to the conclusion that it was time to teach her how to use a butter knife. I bought some plastic knives
and told her that if she is caught with a metal one ( for obvious reasons ) that her privelage will dissapear. She is only allowed to use them for
dinner, even if that means cutting her macaroni and cheese, or "cutting" up her soup.
If you want my advice, I would suggest getting a grill and having your child help you light it. You might barbecue a lot more, and you also might find
that you're beginning to bond with your child in ways you never have before. If the child feels that you are willing to bend the rules for them a
little bit, they will feel much closer and connected, as well as understood.
I'm not child psychologist, I'm just a dad of two and right now killing time with my wife who's in the Labor and Delivery wing. She's probably
going to pop in about 2 weeks, but is having complications. I've been there and done that when it comes to young children, and I have a younger
brother who is 18 to police up since my father is going through dialysis every other day, with diabetes, an infected foot, and awaiting a kidney
transplant. His son got a DUI a few months back, and was caught shoplifting with $8k in his account. It was time for me to step in.