posted on Aug, 10 2011 @ 11:33 AM
I wonder if you can love someone too much, and I don't mean in a psycho I am going to stalk you and drive you to a restraining order love!
I was married for some time, and with a very narcissistic man. It took years for me to discover the truth and finally get the strength to leave. I
wasn't looking for a relationship and when I met my boyfriend I thought this guy is gonna be such a fun friend! We have a blast together. How funny
the world works, sometimes you find exactly what you want when you are not looking.
He is funny, caring and so smart, I have never laughed more in my life. We evolved slowly into a committed relationship and after 3 months of dating I
introduced him to my kids. He is amazing to them! Patient, loving, and fun. Honestly he is better to them than their own father ever was! Now I am in
no rush, I am not looking for a daddy for my kids or a man to take care of me.... The best way to avoid a controlling narcissist is to be a strong
independent woman! I live alone with my kids, work and go to school. He lives nearby and we spend time together everyday, even if only for a kiss
goodnight (on busy days) However we text and call often. We have been together for 2 years and I feel like I can safely say he is just an actual nice
guy (after being married to a bait and switch narcissist I couldn't help but be on guard) He is my very best friend....
In 3 to 4 years when I am finished with school I want to marry this man....Here is where my problem comes, and maybe this is the only burden I am left
with after a bad marriage.
Can you love someone so much, that it scares you to think about marriage? It seems almost no one can stay happily married, faithful, forever. I just
don't see it. People around me get divorced left and right...I got divorced.
No one gets married with the intention of divorcing.. No one looks at the person they love and say, in 7 to 10 years when you put on 20 pounds after
having my babies I am going to cheat on you with my hotter younger secretary. These things just seem to happen and 2 people who loved each other so
dearly at one point just hate each others existence! I even see couples while still married, after decades they just coexist...no passion, or
I love him so much on so many levels that I actually fear marrying him someday, because the thought of us possibly hating each other or not being
friends just tears me up inside. I sometimes almost wish we could stay the way we are forever...but he wants marriage and kids someday. I do to, with
him! Then I have this lingering sadness. I don't let these thoughts hover over us, I don't drag us down with speculation...we are happy and healthy.
I keep these thoughts hidden in the secret place deep in my heart.
Do any of you have an answer? or an idea? or the same fear?
Are any of you happily married to your best friend for more than a decade? How do you keep it?