Down

"It starts as a dot on the whiteboard gymnasium,
but it accumulates into the size of a stadium.

The dark energy that begins to spread,
originates but is not confined inside head.

Emotions begin to fly ever so high,
sometimes I wish I might just die.

The thought of family and friends is comfort,
to live and enjoy it all, yes, I hear the trumpet.

But do not preach to me whilst in this house of glass,
the shards will backfire on thee ever so fast.

If you do not get consumed by misery and pain,
then in my shoes one cannot claim to train.

For although my dark moments are aplenty,
I have survived thus far past twenty."

Down by Dark Ghost.

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This is a poem I wrote that deals with feelings of Depression. Just wondering if any other members can relate to this poem and take something from it. It's a rather simple poem that deals with a complex subject. Perhaps adding your own poem might be therapeutic...

"Microwave" - by System Resistor

Its all a system, but you already know that.
I've been beaming him all morning,
the response was flat.

Can you see, can you see,
What they've done to us?
You're just on the wrong side,
Come and join us.

He'll see, He'll see,
When we tie him to the post.
When we are done with him,
His flesh will roast.

We did his eyes,
He can barely see.
I sure wouldn't want to be him,
He's such a travesty.

Just watch, Just watch,
And turn that switch.
Increace the volume,
I want to hear him bitch.

Look, there's another one,
I'll put someone on it.
He'll have nowhere to turn,
We'll put a bee in his bonnet.

"Asia and Europe: tiny corners of the Cosmos. Every sea: a mere drop. Mount Athos: a lump of dirt. The present moment is the smallest point in all eternity. All is microscopic, changeable, disappearing. All things come from that faraway place, either originating directly from that governing part which is common to all, or else following from it as consequences. So even the gaping jaws of the lion, deadly poison, and all harmful things like thorns or an oozing bog are products of that awesome and noble source. Do not imagine these things to be alien to that which you revere, but turn your Reason to the source of all things."

reply to post by Dark Ghost


I been down too long
I been down too long
I been down too long
Way down too long

I'm gonna take my stack of blues records
I'm gonna throw 'em all away
On second thought
I just might save 'em for a rainy day

OP s+F An excellent poem

Shows an real depth of self understanding, and also awareness, of where you are.

Thank You.

Have you ever thought of writing a poem from the opposite place?
as if all was well?

as if you were writing a poem in 6 months time, and the possibility that you might look back accept and feel that at this time its true, but at that time it is not anymore, and you can see this time with a different experience?

I have been heartbroken and truly thought would never happy again, never smile again, never have joy again.

Looking at a diary 6 months later, I realised that it would have been soo much easier to get to happiness, joy and hope again was one thing.
......................................................................................................................

Warning what I write below might make you angry, upset etc I make NO EXCUSE for this as its your choice, it is not directed an any person on this thread and certainly not the OP, unless it reasonates with them and they want to accept it, it is an story of my experiences of depression and how I got out, mixed with some very brutal honesty to those who might read this and be in that place now.

..................................................
I was focusing soo much on what was "missing" "wrong" "bad" "negative", that I couldn't even let the light in. Even if it was in my life, and looking back help and love was there, I did not see it as such, did not notice the opportunity, because I had blocked it out endlessly focusing on what I did not like, want or had happened, rather than focusing on what I wanted, How I wanted to feel, what opportunities and blessings were there.

Please look at the following link below this post, a bit of my personal history there, I DO know where you are now, I HAVE been there, I did find a quick way out (though this was many years ago and a different way, this way I offer through a friend for free has helped my clients, and also friends BE HAPPY in weeks at the most.)

I say the following to all who are in that place now, and it from love and compassion and also experience of it myself. If it pushes your buttons GOOD and think about that.

DEPRESSION LOVES THE PAST AND FANTASY

DEPRESSION LOVES DEPRESSION

DEPRESSION LOVES EXCUSES

DEPRESSION LOVES ITSELF AND NOTHING ELSE

Whats YOUR EXCUSE to be SAD DEPRESSED?

what do you gain from DEPRESSED? (sympathy, excuses?)

Where you abused as a kid or adult Physically, Emotionally Sexually Financially Spiritually?

Good excuse? NOT you must actually love your abuser and want to be like them, you are abusing yourself and all others around you. You are copying them! you are becoming like them more and more as you are getting more and more down.
If thats your excuse it a lie as shown. How can I say that poor people upset reading this, you dont understand etc....another excuse to not think why what I say that may make you angry or even more upset.

Me my story as a kid trust me got the badge, uniform and experience and many more than most, abused, all forms EVERY care giver I was with did it one way or another.

It was my excuse to be like the abusers for years to be angry, sad, self hate just like them.

Homeless or no secure accomadation?
Lived in subways when 17 for a while, lived in homeless communities. On streets to run away from abuse at 13 yrs 14 yrs much at least 2-3 nights a week.

Financial Problems?
Oh please financial depression I will accept from someone in the somali famine camps, if you have food every day, clothes and medical things its an excuse.

Cared for a member of my family rather than them going into secure mental unit, lost my business set up for 10 years. The state could provide no help for care, 10 year business down the drain that I started seeing clients by walking miles in the rain with holes in my shoes.
Current client base that I had to let go, and growth from that point in 2005 to now would be £100k a year and more.
Had no income for six months at all NONE, sold most of my things and all savings gone at the time, no state help they wont if you choose to leave a job or employment business, I had no choice they wont care the person If I do they say I am making myself unemployed. Then £48 per week for 3 years caring 80 hours a week and more.

Illness sickness?
Please excuse you are still alive make the most of what you have look at Stephen Hawking, what good bits of you have you focused on?
What works well that you can develop. "oh MY poor back" syndrome Depression loves people taking ownership making it an thing that seems there forever cant be changed.
Take ownership of "oh my wonderful artistic skills" See the link below and read rest of my story and the FREE solution if you are on a Physical Illness trip/excuse Again a bigger badge than 99% of people who are depressed based on this. Please read my link.

Race?
Please do me a favor I was beaten up many times im white, by whites, with a close friend who was from Caribean Backround Dad, Indian Mum, "paki Lover" and all that, seen him smashed up many times, bricks through windows when in school studying in a very impoverished area, bullied at school.

Whats he doing now Training Director for one of the largest Blue Chips in Europe. MBA Bsc whilst being beaten up younger at same time of life, he was doing voluntary work in the community to help the type of youth who were abusing him, training them, teaching them so they would have a good future.

EXCUSE

Get my drift?

Its the truth, and if anyone would have been saying that to me when I was in that, place I would have been Angry, Upset and thinking but you dont understand, I DO and I just wished someone would have been honest with me and give me a kick up the arse.

I wasted Months of my life on excuses, wondering why things were soo bad and getting worse, but all I was doing thinking about and reinforcing was the excuses, reasons and very things I was complaining about.

In my book if anyone is depressed and wants to stay there, fine free will, but be honest and admit its an choice.

If you are depressed and saying actually want to be happy want to not be this way, GREAT but realise that its not "out There" or "their" fault "this happened" to me reason, its a CHOICE.

When did you choose to be depressed and why?

When do you plan to choose not to be depressed?

If you can choose to be depressed because that's all it is, then imagine what other positive choices you can make.

What happened to me?
I started spending as much time by CHOICE to do so, focusing on what was good, where I wanted to be and go, not had been, decided not to be the same as those who abused me, was I not hating myself by being like them , as surely you hate your abuser?

Asking myself "what 1 thing can I do today to get/achieve/be/come closer to "

then as that builds now its every day for years "what 10 things can I do today NOW to "

Different life, feelings, experiences, health, finances etc within just 12 weeks.

How long have you laid in bed with your depression?

How long have you embraced welcomed and thanked it asked for more by focusing on it?

When did you CHOOSE to let events situation and people from the PAST or even now to take all your power and free will away?

When will you choose to be happy, healthy, wealthy, joyful and of benefit to those around you?

WHY ON EARTH NOT NOW?

Choice Love the Depression and all the excuses, then shut up and stop sharing it spreading it.

Or

Choose the opposite of what you complain about to yourself and others.

The energy of anger has a flip side of the coin, imagine if all that focus energy and feeling was one of love and focusing as a drive to achieve instead soo simple use the energy flip it spin it so thats its opposite.

Same for all emotions

Fear flip it = Confidence etc.

My story and Solution for you.

Simple Solution to Riots etc
Love to all really and honestly.

Elf

Edit to add story out today proves what I was saying above:

Balme Causes us to be sick

reply to post by Dark Ghost


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UP

in life theres times when things seem good and times when things seem bad
these ups and downs with in our lives can somtimes drive us mad

its best to take a moment to think and find what keeps us strong
for life can put you thru some test to trim in souls whats wrong

when down regather regain then stand prepare for the next test
the courage to continue is deep within so try your best

non of us are perfect why trapped in this 3d
try not going so hard on yourself when trying to succeed

thru time -in time -out of time alltogether perfection may await
but why learing in the school of life DOWN courses 1 must take

remember why in the lower, to keep in mind that 1 must rise
till 1 day we can all ascend like birds flying high in the skys

since we have learned whats right and wrong and yes whats good and bad
it seems the souls can move along on higher ascended paths

light light light enlightenment it seems the class has taught
so dont forget your not alone on the path of life we all walk

NAMASTE
LOVE LIGHT ETERNNIA*******


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