posted on Aug, 8 2011 @ 01:40 AM
yes that is a hard life. I too know all about a hard life. not so much bad stuff in the family as you, but then life dished me out being a political
refuge, I had to grow up in a country where refugees were looked down upon and ridiculed. I moved around a lot, unsettled, I don’t know what a home
is. I’m always alone, can’t quite cope in society and relationships are difficult. I have very few friends only.
if found it very interesting that you write ‘my step mom turned him against me. Like most step parents do’. I had a step dad, and he even went as
far as to lie to achieve that my half siblings would also turn against me. maybe it is hard for step parents if their hearts also are already
while I was reading your story, I had so strong the feeling, that with so much hardship, you must be blessed also with a lot of strength. and then of
course there it was, in the last few paragraphes. and also in some of you comments.
for me too, something I knew from early childhood : I might have an extreme life but I’m also extremely strong. later on I learned that life never
sends you lessons that you are not able to learn. that’s why I was very pleased to read, that you overcame your urge for suicide.
I’m a bit older than you, so I speak now from experience you don’t have yet : it never gets easier. the testing seems to increase in intensity
after every victory. just two years ago now (after a little break of peace and good luck) I entered an other cycle of learning. fairly in the
beginning, when I started to notice that yet a demanding revelation is waiting for me to uncover, yet a higher level to be mastered, I heard a voice
inside me saying “what ever you do, don’t kill yourself”. well, I tell you now, again a year later, these words often ring in my inner ears and
keep me from contemplating too seriously to take my life , but always I wish I could die soon.
and I have that feeling despite my truest knowing, that we are not cursed with all this. quite the contrary. regardless of all the pain and
suffering, I always regard my abilities as blessings. without tough challenges there would be no way to reach higher realms. I also believe, that
because we are so strong and able, the worst scenarios are upon us, so we overcome them. most people would go insane with the circumstances I deal
with. and I also believe, after what I figured out, managed to live through and leave love and understanding in its place, makes the world better for
all of us. the difficulties are tailor-made for us so we help humanity to reach home.
similar to you, me neither do I believe we reincarnate to work out our bad karma. yes, karma might exist, but we do not remember it (some say they
can remember past lifes, but they might be experiencing a number of other things - not the topic to discuss here). we might be born under exactly
those stars that bring about the resolution to some karma, all our karma, done by anybody, since I do feel we are all one.
I can read in your philosophy, that you are already on the best way to master everything that ever will come your way.
I’m not of English speaking background, I know some find it confusing to read my text. I hope I made sense in my expression.
i don't think you are here to be tested, nor are you a new proto type. but of course you are exactly what is needed in this new world cycle.
maybe I can send you to read up on Sumerian creation stories instead of the bible. the old testament of the bible is a verbally handed down version
of events that happened way way earlier than the bible was written. and the bible left out a lot, you will see this, when you find the older sources.
also the Mediterranean looking god in your vision could be Sumerian.