Rules for Facebook
Become a fan of WikiLeaks.
Now there are actually two ways you can go.
I. The creative way: Post something on the wall of WikiLeaks Facebook. Make sure it’s either not related to the topic at all or
something BIG! So please post about how you hate pink (the colour of course, not the singer. She’s awesome, right?) or where to watch the newest
cinema blockbusters online. You’re more than welcome to share new videos about ponies or sunsets. People love sunsets.
If you want to go BIG, post your experiences with HAARP, Alien Obduction or how $PresidentofState killed you (oh wait… it’s a trap?). Mix it a
little with Illuminati and Bilderberg, and for heaven’s sake, don’t forget THE ALIENS!
II. The boring way: Comments. Sounds too easy? Yes. To be effective you have to keep it up for some weeks or you will be soon
forgotten. To make it super-easy for you here are some samples. Go ahead, copy them and paste them.
a.) “WikiLeaks is an inside job”
b.) “WikiLeaks is a child of CIA”
c.) Julian Assange is working for CIA
d.) Julian Assange is Sabu from LulzSec and working for CIA
e.) WHERE ARE THE LEAKS FOR [insert something like UFO or the always loved BoA]
f.) Leak the exams for my highschool
g.) Julian Assange has weird hair
h.) I like Leberkäse
i.) What happens with the money (because we all know, WL has soooo much money and so little to spend it on)
j.) Julian is so hot, I want to marry him
k.) Assange is a rapist
l.) Why aren’t you leaking something new?
n.) You’re anti-american
o.) You’re terrorists
p.) Send in the drones.
q.) OMG SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HE’S SOOOOO CUTE
Okay, enough samples. Of course you can also make up some own comments. Just make sure to stick to your topic, so don’t jump from CIA to Rapist to
Rules for Twitter
This is also really really easy in the beginning. First you follow @wikileaks . Of course it would be awesome if you have some followers yourself, so
you can ask them to retweet your stuff. Knowledge must be spread, right? Right.
Phase I: Wait a couple of days. Yeah well… that’s the bad thing about Twitterkilling. Patience. Now after some days you tweet the following:
I’m following you @wikileaks, y rn’t u following back? I have leaks bout McDonalds secret ingredients.
Of course you can use your imagination
not everybody is interested in junk food. Why not having super secret informations about sunsets? Just make
sure you have the syntax (word order that is) right, otherwise your followers might not see your tweet in their timeline.
Now the waiting is only some hours long. You will soon see that @wikileaks is NOT following you back. How dare they? This is an insult to you. I
mean… you’re a great person and you put DAYS of passionated waiting for the following. Tell your friends about it in 140 chars. If you need more,
use twitlonger. Please make sure to add @wikileaks and the hashtag #wikileaks. Other people should know. Ask your friends to retweet this prove of
disrespect towards you.
Phase II: Okay, yes yes… this also needs some patience. Sorry, the killing game is more fun on Facebook, Forum, Youtube and Media. Here on Twitter
you have to wait for input. Well, at least for Phase II. So wait patiently for the incoming tweets by @wikileaks . Now the fun starts.
1.) Retweet. Very important. You must prove that you’re a loyal follower.
2.) Answer. The fun begins. Again there are several options.
a.) Scan the tweet closely. Are there spelling mistakes? Then it MUST be from Julian. Answer complaining that there are mistakes in it. Answer an
hour later and ask Julian to write you a DM. Answer 30 minutes later with the following “Typical Assange. Doesn’t care bout anything but
himself.” Always make sure to start your answer tweet with a word (or more) before you write @wikileaks so your fellow followers see your tweets in
their timeline. Complain then that you only want to help WikiLeaks but apparently they are too arrogant.
b.) No spelling mistakes but a link? Don’t be afraid, you don’t have to read it. Can’t be that important or you would see it in The Guardian
or Fox News, right? Right. Usually @wikileaks starts their tweets with a link description anyway. That’s completely enough to know what the link is
about. And you suddenly realize… they are not tweeting about the important stuff. Tell them! Answer every goddamn link-tweet with asking where the
UFO leaks are. Why isn’t @wikileaks leaking something important. Seriously, ask them! I mean, the diplomatic cables might interest someone in India,
but not you.
Hey @wikileaks what about Bank of America. Tell me @wikileaks why aren’t you telling the truth about HAARP? Hi *giggle* @wikileaks I can haz a
ringlet of Julians hair?
Soon you will AGAIN realize… they don’t answer. What The Football? How disrespectful. You know what you have to do. Right. Tell the whole world.
In 140 chars.
Phase III: Now everybody should know that you’re an insider. I’m not making fun of you here. You follow @wikileaks and you answer them. You know
how the world of hidden informations work. Better then @wikileaks because apparently they are afraid of you and feel threatened by your knowledge
otherwise Julian would have contacted you. But you’re fair
You feel the urge of sharing your knowledge. Do it. People should know. A simple plan
always works out.
1.) Tweet. Yeah, well… that’s logical. Tweet @wikileaks your knowledge. Again, make sure to start the tweet with one or more words before
adding @wikileaks . Your friends might want to know too and can retweet. So why not writing something like” FFS FML! LMK if we can meet IRL
@wikileaks Ive infos bt HAARP ICYMI“
2.) No answer? Maybe Julian, who writes the tweets, since he’s such a dictator and does everything on his own to stay in control, didn’t really
get what you meant. Maybe he’s not as smart as you. So please be kind to him and send a Youtube link. Simply search on Youtube about Chemtrails
(seriously WHERE ARE THE LEAKS FOR THAT?), HAARP (yes, that happened in Japan, and Julian knows! Or maybe not till now, but he will after the video)
and of course the latest UFO sightings.
3.) Still no answer? Maybe Julian read it and will use it, but won’t credit you. No, wait… skip the maybe. He WILL do it. Definitely. Inform
ASAP all your followers that you were the first who connected all the dots. Immediately. Like NOW. Of course include @wikileaks and #wikileaks to make
sure Julian knows that you know what he knows and will do. Got it? Ask @wikileaks if they want to make a statement about the misbehavior of Julian.
Rules for Youtube
Okay, let’s keep it short. Find a video about or from WikiLeaks. The content is not really important. Post one of the following samples as comment.
Please don’t share this video, we don’t want it to be popular. Here we go:
“Who is that white-haired dude?”
“What is WikiLeaks?”
“Uh Julian should lose some weight”
“Seriously hippie, get a haircut”
“Julian Assange is working for the CIA” (Yes, I know… we had that in the Facebook section. But hey, it’s the truth, right? Right!)
“Our government is not bad. These anarchists just want chaos. I mean, we still have our health insurance (uhm… okay, as an American you might skip
that?) and nobody here starves. So why the fuzz? And you can’t prove anything.”
“WIKILEAKS WANTS WORLD DOMINATION THEY WORK WITH CHINA AND RUSSIA THAT’S WHY THEY DON’T LEAK CHINA CABLES!!!111!!!”
“OMG this is Julian. Oh my god. @Uploader can you give him my mobile number. I’m like… really… he’s hot ya know. Like totally. Dunno what he
talks about, weird accent and all these words. But he’s really hot. But his hair is too short”
“Under Reagan you would have been executed for treason. You’re a shame for US and A, Assange. They should take away your citizenship”
“Why isn’t Daniel Domscheit-Berg taking part at the press conference? I mean, he’s second in command and build up WikiLeaks. You can’t silent
him. He knows everything. And likes cats.”
“WHERE ARE THE UFO LEAKS? AND WHAT ABOUT HAARP?” (Really… they have the leaks. I know it. Because I follow @wikileaks on twitter. I told Julian
about it. He will pretend he knew it all along. I told my friends on twitter)
Youtube is really easy
so something if you’re in a hurry and want to go to cinema or shopping. Simply copy and paste. Mischief managed.
THE GOLDEN GOAL
Okay. Now you know. Now you really know. And there is a home for you. Yes. And I wrote an ebook about… oh sorry, wrong article.
No, I want to share this road to paradise with you. For free. It’s my gift to you, now that you know. It’s the forum.
Uhm… the forum. You know? The WikiLeaks Forum? Here’s the link: www.wikileaks-forum.com...
Okay, there is a little difficulty. You have to register. And there will be a long text called Registration Agreement. I don’t know what it contains
though, tl;dr. Just click on accept, they can’t silent you anyway, since WikiLeaks stands for Freedom of Speech and you have a lot to say.
Oh look, there’s a chatterbox. First of all you should know a secret. There are people with different colours. The light blue ones are the
important. Purple is the colour for the trolls. Since WikiLeaks doesn’t care about trolls they just gave them another colour. So whatever they say,
simply ignore them. DON’T FEED THE TROLLS!
Since you know a lot and you want to spread your knowledge, start a conversation with the people in the chatterbox. A good start is always “Where
are you from? What are your hobbies? Are you still in school or already working? Really? Where?” It gives the people in the chatterbox a warm fuzzy
feeling and they will listen to you closely. Since you have something to say. And there is a place. So tell them. Write down the whole story in the
chatterbox. People must know.
Hmm… but maybe you think too complex and people can’t follow. Maybe you should write something for eternity.
If you look very closely at the forum, there seem to be subforums. It’s not really that important though, even if your thoughts could be in the
wrong subforum, which they won’t be, since they are way too important, a kind Moderator will move them.
You already know the drill from Twitter. Why wasting your precious words first? It’s a waste of energy and if Julian didn’t understand, how then
can the forum users? So please start your topic with a Youtube video. Don’t bother to make a comment or anything, the smart people will get what you
mean. Of course you also need a topic title. Best would be all CAPS so people notice it, and please don’t spoil your precious thread by too much
text as title.
But what if the users don’t get it? Open a new thread please immediately, but now leave the video out. It’s on the board anyway, so why again
linking it. Please also think about a new title, the other one obviously didn’t attract the users much. First of all you should ask where the
answers to your previous thread are. Don’t link it, the Moderators know anyway, they watch every move since they were warned by Julian, who is also
on the forum, that you’re trouble, because you know too much. Since it isn’t possible that people ignore you obviously the moderators deleted the
answers to your previous thread (maybe Julian was jealous?).
Of course they will deny, they have to. They all work for WikiLeaks, they signed the NDA as The Guardian told you. So first of all… open a new
thread. The world should know about the censorship on the WikiLeaks forum. Twitter it. Of course please mention @wikileaks and use the hashtag
#wikileaks . Aks your friends to retweet it. Tell the users on the board that WikiLeaks censors you because you are BRAVE ENOUGH to tell the truth.
About how jealous Julian is. And that you know what WikiLeaks does with the donated money (paying the Forum Moderators obviously). That HAS to
Socializing is the keyword. To make sure people accept you, you need to inform them about your life. Show some pictures about you, this will also make
it obvious that you’re not afraid of any government around the world. Awesome would be a picture of you at the pool, so Julian has something to
watch. Maybe he hits on you, who knows. Of course then you become Moderator
but you also have to sign the NDA. Damn.
Now that people know you… Phase IV:
Why exactly doesn’t the forum have a subboard about HAARP. I mean… look at what happened to Japan. People need to know and the WikiLeaks forum is
the right place. We… err.. I mean… They are just waiting for these posts. As you should know by now, the Moderators are paid by WikiLeaks and had
to sign an NDA. So they are not allowed to tell the truth. This is now your job. INFORM. SPREAD.
AND DON’T BELIEVE ANYTHING JULIAN OR WIKILEAKS SAYS. BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW #. GOVERNMENT IS RIGHT AND GOOD FOR YOU. KEEP WATCHING FOX NEWS. DO
IT. DON’T THINK FOR YOURSELF.