Fundamentalist Christian: A Checklist.

-Boldly deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions and cultures, feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

-Feeling insulted, “dehumanized” or offended when scientists assert that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

-Criticise and dismiss polytheists, but preach a Triune God. (Holy Trinity)

-Highlight and voice concerns regarding “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but no qualms about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees! (Amalekites)

-Dismiss Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women (Demi-Gods), but have no qualms believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, was resurrected and then ascended into the sky.

-Willing to spend life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

-Believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs (though excluding those in all rival sects) will spend Eternity in fiery torture; Consider Christianity to be the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

-While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince, a person rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

-Define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. Consider it to be evidence that prayer works. And think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

-Actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call self a Christian, and assert that one has “strong faith”.

Hope this isn't any of you!

Peace.

lucky for us darwin killed god here in the UK a long time ago

I pitty you americans that have to put up with the fundies

nice post by the way

Click here for more information.

Thank you for the post, Nightmare. Being stuck amid the milling, mindless herd of religious zelots in texas, you can imagine how I must keep my tongue bitten firmly and ignore the repeated idiocies of the blind. It is borderline christian taliban in east texas, where if you don't go to the right church, then you're seen as either A. A soul who hasn't had enough of the 'good word' jammed into every available body cavity or B. You're a witch, a devil, an islamist, a sinner, a whore, a baby killing abomination that could sprout wings and spit fire while eating your own parents. Needless to say, I am a silent yet sardonic wraith among the crowds. I find it pathetic to see the 'faithful' trying to pimp a god and at the same time stealing from the poor, inspiring fear in the unbelievers, and committing acts of unspeakable cruelty to each other and even children. I care not a whit for the opinions of those who refuse to think for themselves, and this I think delivers the worst insult to them. I am above them, and they know it, even if all they can do is spit and fume.
Now there are, ARE true believers out there. Heck, I have a teacher that is one. Those folks shine like beacons in the night, and are a real pleasure to be around, and they are intelligent, warm, and sensitive people. They have that inner love that is supposed to be the hallmark of Christianity. They aren't pious, they aren't judgmental, nor do they postulate on their beliefs like roosters crowing from the tops of dunghills. Instead, the pretenders take almost as much offense to the true believers as they do me. That is, within itself, worthy of my contempt, if I were to spare them the emotion or notice.

reply to post by vlady95

So rather than reply to any of the points made by the OP, you instead devolve into a condescending strawman rebuttal (note that the OP specifically targets fundamentalist Christians, not religion in general or even all Christians) and then tell the OP to grow up by calling the OP "sparky".

No hypocrisy here...

Absolutly brilliant !!! That really gave me a giggle. I'm gonna bookmark ur post for reference for xmas dinner at the inlaws. They sing the "Happy birthday song to Jesus" before dinner.

Just wanted to say, although I do not like berating those whose beliefs differ from my own.
From a logical standpoint this is fantastic. So much so, I posted it to my group on facebook.
Good points OP!

reply to post by ExistentialNightmare


-Boldly deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions and cultures, feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

There is only one God that refuses to be represented by matter. This God stands alone in this fact. All other Gods are counterfeit to the one God by character. The Bible says, "Know them by their fruit." Matt. 7:16 The important thing is not knowing God, but God knowing us. Our relationship to Him is defined by His knowledge of us, not the ohter way around.

LINK

-Feeling insulted, “dehumanized” or offended when scientists assert that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

Evolution is and creationism are paradoxes of the same truth. When two truths are asserted, each bearing an image of the same truth, the third perspective (Excluded Middle) can unify both.

Imagine that a train engineer and his friend argue over the whistle pitch of the train changing. The friend says it changes and the engineer says it stays the same. The Doppler Effect is the excluded middle. Evolution is this: A Creator gives us the keys to the tree of life as we are ready, not before. LINK

-Criticise and dismiss polytheists, but preach a Triune God. (Holy Trinity)

Father (Light/particle/Prima Materia), Son (Word/Wave/Logos/force/laws) and Holy Spirit (Consciousness). God is one person, represented to the world as the duality of particle and wave, animated by consciousness. Man is the material representation of this trinity in the form of body (particle and wave) and consciousness (Spirit). Christ was the Living Word of God that came to bring us Holy Consciousness. He is the Logos, creator of this reality, the wave that spoke existence into form. This is the associated force that brings particle to form. One God is One. There is no confusion. LINK

-Highlight and voice concerns regarding “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but no qualms about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees! (Amalekites)

Know them by their fruit. Islam can stand on the actions of their beliefs. Either they love others or they steal, kill and destroy. This is the distinction between loving God and others (Biblical) or taking from others for selfish pride (Genesis 3 Pride of the world). We reap what we sow. God protects the innocent and has the keys of life and death for all man. His creation, His rules. Matthew Henry commentary can give you an answer based on truth and love for any supposed Bible atrocity. LINK

-Dismiss Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women (Demi-Gods), but have no qualms believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, was resurrected and then ascended into the sky.

A study of the ancient Phoenician lexicon (Ancient Hebrew) reveals that the root of all civilization and belief originates with the root morphology of this language. God is the Father represented by the Ox and the shepherd's staff. This is the leading of the Father by the strength and understanding of the shepherd's staff. Christ is the son, the good Shepherd.

All other beliefs are branches from the root. The Greeks see the world from a western world view as abstract / Scientific. The original Hebrew cultures viewed the world from their concrete language and nomadic lifestyle. The Hebrew language is represented by 22 letter, parent root, child roots and adopted roots. These roots then branch out into all the Hebrew words that make up the original Torah. These roots and branches make a story that tells of God (Father) leading man as a good shepherd. All other cultures represent idol worship and confusion by perspective. The paradox arising from all of these various views holds the overall perspective of the story told. They are all important and each hold a key to understanding the other. Buddha, Confucius, Hermes, Plato, Jesus and so on were all part of the larger picture. Jesus was the culmination of all thought and the key to rightly dividing truth for all others. He is the Living Word, the Way (Eastern), the Truth (Correct Philosophy and Government) and the life (Salvation to rebirth). Christ is the excluded middle that clarifies the rest.

-Willing to spend life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

Science is a poor description of God, not the other way around. We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. $20 if you can name a single thing you do apart from thinking and moving your body. As you reflect on this truth, realize that ALL of it is on autopilot for you.

Think about it. What do we actually do apart form animated observation of the story from our consciousness? If you look closely, you see that we are on autopilot. Do you make your hair grow? Do you activate the cones and rods in your eyes for sight? Do you digest your food? Do you make the sun shine or the earth warm? Look close. All functions of the human and his reality are produced by God. Nothing is our choice apart from moving our vehicle (Body). This allows us to create and to express our free will with words and actions. All actions and words affect us and others. All other actions to support this process are done by God, apart form our conscious effort.

-Believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs (though excluding those in all rival sects) will spend Eternity in fiery torture; Consider Christianity to be the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

You must be born again. This is not an option. Each man lives a life, but the soul lives on again and again. Death is not the end. Judgment happens each life. There is, however, a final judgment. When this one comes, you will give an account for the life you were freely given. We are all waiting for this.

Most people use this verse to discount transmigration of the soul. Let me point out that there is more to the verse than v. 27 of Hebrews 9:

27 Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, 28 so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

Who is waiting and when is salvation coming? That's right, after Christ returns for His bride. We are ALL waiting. ALL eyes will be here to see and have been here to see before. The veil over the temple (Body) keeps us from remembering the past estate. Again, we are spiritual beings having a human experience on a planet of the fallen. That means we fell and need to be redeemed. 7 billion souls on earth in 2011. Mistake? Irony? Coincidence?

-While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince, a person rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

No proof. It's only evidence for faith. Plenty to go around. Faith comes form a life lived and the fruit it bears. Know them by their fruit. God chooses us, not the other way around. We demonstrate our goodness by the life we live. Live for yourself and you are placing yourself first. Live for others in love and you are meek and humble, placing yourself last. The first shall be last and the last shall be first. When do you want to exit this reality for Heaven? It's up to you on timing. Stay in the hell we create on this planet or depart before the day of judgment. Your call by the life you live and the faith you possess.

-Define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. Consider it to be evidence that prayer works. And think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

All prayer is looking with outstreatched hands toward the leading of God. You do not do the leading, you pray for understanding as you travel the path that is laid before your destiny by God. Prayer is not a vending machine. It is a humble acceptance and desire for understanding of what you witness while you are here. God's will and not yours. Anything else is pride, placing yourself above God's leading.

-Actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history – but still call self a Christian, and assert that one has “strong faith”.

Know them by their fruit. Love God and love others. This is the key to overcoming the flaming sword that protects the tree of life. Climb the tree in faith or stay on the ground and curse the process. Either way, you will toil the ground if you walk apart from God. If you walk with Him in the garden (Earth), He walks with you in joy and peace.

PSALMS 23

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

I am actually missing the good old-timer fire-and-brimstone christian orators, which we as recently as last year still had a few resident examples of here.

I'm also missing the "I have a whole new version of science/logic, DEFINITELY proving that it's 'god' what did it". At least some of them knew the basics of real science.

Instead we have the modern missionaries, who play mind-games...performing intelligence tests from a distance, applying pop-psychology and character-analyses on opposition and finally coming around to, that humour may be a part of the situation, though still of the 'tinned laughter' variety of including LOLs in their posts.

A well-placed LOL ALWAYS have me in stiches on the floor, it's so subtle.

So christians, let's have some genuine ARGUMENTS to OP (which isn't so much an expression of alleged atheist paranoia as you try to reduce it to).

Where's your zap'n'zeal? Where are the dreams of ideological world-monopoly?

reply to post by SuperiorEd


I would have loved to comment on your post, it's always great fun, but that yellow colour makes it technically impossible for me.

LINK

Originally posted by bogomil
I am actually missing the good old-timer fire-and-brimstone christian orators, which we as recently as last year still had a few resident examples of here.

I'm also missing the "I have a whole new version of science/logic, DEFINITELY proving that it's 'god' what did it". At least some of them knew the basics of real science.

Instead we have the modern missionaries, who play mind-games...performing intelligence tests from a distance, applying pop-psychology and character-analyses on opposition and finally coming around to, that humour may be a part of the situation, though still of the 'tinned laughter' variety of including LOLs in their posts.

A well-placed LOL ALWAYS have me in stiches on the floor, it's so subtle.

So christians, let's have some genuine ARGUMENTS to OP (which isn't so much an expression of alleged atheist paranoia as you try to reduce it to).

Where's your zap'n'zeal? Where are the dreams of ideological world-monopoly?

reply to post by bogomil


Im getting tired of giving you stars man... >>--------> LOL

You just passed me in that department btw....

Im so depressed

Teal is the color. Much better.

Originally posted by bogomil
reply to post by SuperiorEd

 

I would have loved to comment on your post, it's always great fun, but that yellow colour makes it technically impossible for me.

reply to post by SuperiorEd


You wrote

["LINK"]

I suggest you compress your arguments to a dialogue-form suitable to a debate-forum. Endless criss-crossing references are useless, unless they take up some specialist points needing high-lighting or similar.

First off I'm sorry that so many christians have done such a terrible job of representing Christ to you. For too long we've been screaming from the rooftops about what we're against. That's not the way it should be.
Now instead of snarky attacks let's reason together. The christian you described is the same religious type Jesus castigated throughout the four gospels. You're acting the very same part but on the opposite side of the same coin. So sure are you in your great knowledge that you insult what you don't understand.
Instead of a TLDR post going through all your points let's start with one...
I'm a young earth creationist. Why do you believes the earth is billions of years old?
P.S. I do understand the scientific reasoning but I want to know if you do. I also believe the reasoning is flawed obviously.

reply to post by faithparadigm


You wrote:

["P.S. I do understand the scientific reasoning but I want to know if you do. I also believe the reasoning is flawed obviously."]

Is this to be understood, that you understand REAL science, and not just the inverted version many theists believe to be science?

I must add, that I'm not an expert in biology or geology, so I'm not the prime candidate for an advanced defense of 'evolution'-theory. If or when we get around to physics or philosophy of science, I'm your man.

You wrote:

["P.S. I do understand the scientific reasoning but I want to know if you do. I also believe the reasoning is flawed obviously."]

Is this to be understood, that you understand REAL science, and not just the inverted version many theists believe to be science?

I must add, that I'm not an expert in biology or geology, so I'm not the prime candidate for an advanced defense of 'evolution'-theory. If or when we get around to physics or philosophy of science, I'm your man.



Well first off you didn't answer my question at all. Secondly what is real science to you?
What do scientist look to to hypothesize the age of the universe and earth? Real science or your opinion; whichever?

reply to post by volafox


Exactly. The ones who actually emulate their deity and actually act anything like this Jesus fellow that I was badgered with as a kid are also the quietest.

reply to post by ExistentialNightmare


LOL, I dont know lets see

-Boldly deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions and cultures, feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

NOPE

-Feeling insulted, “dehumanized” or offended when scientists assert that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

NOPE

-Criticise and dismiss polytheists, but preach a Triune God. (Holy Trinity)

Dont understand the first part, Dont believe in a Holy Trinity GOD

-Highlight and voice concerns regarding “atrocities” attributed to Allah, but no qualms about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in “Exodus” and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in “Joshua” including women, children, and trees! (Amalekites)

BOTH BOTHER ME

-Dismiss Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women (Demi-Gods), but have no qualms believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, was resurrected and then ascended into the sky.

NOPE

-Willing to spend life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

What people do that???

-Believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs (though excluding those in all rival sects) will spend Eternity in fiery torture; Consider Christianity to be the most “tolerant” and “loving.”

NOPE, dont believe in hell, am christian and dont see it as a golden ticket

-While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince, a person rolling around on the floor speaking in “tongues” may be all the evidence you need to “prove” Christianity.

NOPE

-Define 0.01% as a “high success rate” when it comes to answered prayers. Consider it to be evidence that prayer works. And think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

NOPE

Do I get a cookie??

reply to post by SuperiorEd


I would have given you a thousand stars for that post if I could. I don't think I've ever seen such a concise, unambiguous smackdown of a Christian-hating troll anywhere on the internets.