Steve sat on the crapper in his apartment and looked at the cigarette between his fingers and contemplated on how things had come to be.

He had just lost his job and his girl, life seemed so unfair. It all heaped upon him at once and he saw no way out of the depression that engulfed him. He flicked the ash into the sink next to him and looked back at the floor.

“There has got to be a way to get out of this.” He thought.

At that point a shadow crossed his doorway…he looked up and saw an ape, but it did not look like any ape he had seen in the zoo. But the ape did not seem wild, just unsure.

This one looked at him, the eyes and body, unafraid.

For some odd reason, Steve sat, with his pants around his legs and did not freak out. He accepted his fate. “Do what you have to do,” he told the ape, “I forgive you.” He took another drag off the smoke.

The ape slowly stepped into the room, and took Steve’s head into its hands and lowered its face to meet Steve’s eyes. Face to face. It seemed to understand Steve’s pain and was unwilling to do what it must do. It knew love.

The ape touched his forehead with Steve’s and then nodded. “I’ll make this quick”, the ape thought. And to the ape’s amazement, the human seemed to understand.

With a quick jerk up and to the side the ape snapped Steve’s neck.

“Be well brother”, the ape thought, “may we meet on the other side in peace.”

what... the... hell....

Yeah, but did he flush afterwards?

Did the ape let him wipe first?

Not every day an ape strolls in on your apartment while you are taking a crap and mercifully puts you out of your misery I guess.

Was that one of Darwins ancestors lurking around his crapper? He must of been ready for the next step in evolution wanting out of the forest and into a house and all. Damn apeists