posted on Aug, 17 2004 @ 02:05 PM
ATSNN learns of a new Boeing design for Air Force One
so secret, that nobody else in the country knows. Staff Editor in Chief Valhall and Reporter Zedd brave the political storm to bring this news to the
world.
A previously well-guarded secret has been revealed to ATSNN from deep inside the Kerry camp. Apparently Kerry's lifelong commitment to becoming
President of the United States had become such an obsession that several years back, he approached Boeing to design an Air Force One custom-made for
his Presidency. Affectionately referred to as the AC/DC 1, the new Boeing design represents a monumental step forward (and backward) in aircraft
design.
A spokesman for the Boeing design team, Al G. Orithm, was
quoted as saying:
"When Senator Kerry first approached us with his novel concept, we first were taken aback. He was absolutely sure about what he wanted, and then he
wasn't. Thankfully, we ended the meeting when he was sure again. The deep pockets and strong conviction shown by Senator Kerry quickly brought us
around.
The design cycle was extended to some extent over our original estimate, but we did come in within an acceptable over-run envelope on the budget. The
main sticking point for the design timeline came when Mr. Kerry had to decide which nose of the plane he wanted his Presidential office space closest
to.
That seemed to be a fairly big decision for him. Lots of "left", "no, right" and "that last left meant right" - it went on for months. I
believe the final decision came in the same combination stud poker and arobics session in which they figured out how they were going to fund the
anti-gang proposal.
Ultimately, the decision was to place his office right in the middle of the plane. In fact, the decision for placement of everything ultimately was
right square in the middle.
We're very proud of our design accomplishment and happy that Senator Kerry is satisfied with the aircraft - Well, at least last time we heard from
him he was."