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Off Topic Thread!!!

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posted on Apr, 16 2006 @ 02:28 PM
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It hurts when I do thi....Oww!!




posted on Apr, 16 2006 @ 03:39 PM
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Dont do that.


If its Easter, is the wind blowing in an Easterly direction?



posted on Apr, 16 2006 @ 04:11 PM
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A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.

She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"

The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.

"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"




posted on Apr, 16 2006 @ 04:48 PM
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Last night I was guest at the Schmidts:
I left there scared out of my wits!
There were hideous shrieks,
Framed pictures of freaks,
And Bathrobes marked "his", "hers" and "its!




posted on Apr, 16 2006 @ 04:59 PM
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Never get a job where you have to deal with the public!

Deep down, people are evil!



posted on Apr, 16 2006 @ 06:47 PM
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Be it known before God and this community...Mrs. NotClever is the finest woman, friend, and companion any man could ever wish for.

If she continues to feed me Sunday dinners like this one...I'll die happy.

NC



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 04:40 AM
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Originally posted by NotCleverIf she continues to feed me Sunday dinners like this one...I'll die happy.


Why? Did she poison it?


Sorry for being 'ON-TOPIC', I should get a warn for that one!



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 05:31 AM
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Once upon a time
Five elves
Found a slice of bacon in each of their respective mailboxes.

Then, just as they were about to cook the bacon
One of the "bacons" turned into a mermaid.
Politely, she asked the elves not to cook her sisters.
In spite of this, the elves had a nice bacon breakfast.
Cruel of them I know, but that was really good bacon, and it was free.



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 05:39 AM
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What did they do with the mermaid?

OOOooops! You made me post On-Topic. Another Warn for me!



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 05:44 AM
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Someone called
He-Man threw a rock at an
Eskimo.

Did the eskimo survive?
Indeed, for the rock missed.
Even He-Man hasn't got a perfect aim!
Don't mess with He-Man though, he's a tough guy.



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 05:48 AM
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Off-topic, this is...
Intentional misleading the censors here.
Can you find a better way?



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 05:49 AM
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If Mermaids are female, are Mermans males?






posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 05:49 AM
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Never feed hamsters to
Oversized otters.



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:01 AM
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when we post
High and low
Yes is always, the way to go.




posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:05 AM
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Most pigeons are called george.
Every piece of wood weighs exactly 3.7 lbs
Real peanut butter contains mouse feet.
Lemons are the currency of Slovakia.
Alaska has no capital.
Dying your hair makes mushrooms grow out of your ears.
Some of these facts may not be true.



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:09 AM
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Local Warming


Originally posted by Mechanic 32
OOOooops! You made me post On-Topic. Another Warn for me!

Well, if you want me to
All I have to do is press a button
Really isn't hard at all, and it's
Not a problem.
I do it all the time. Well, okay...
Not really, but it sounds macho to say I do.
Gosh I'm silly.



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:12 AM
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Dangerous buttons are never to be
Overused...

I would never advocate the use of such buttons
To amuse thyself.




posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:15 AM
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*Just ask TC! I heard somewhere he banned himself!*


*or he banned everybody, something silly like that!*


I'll give myself a


[edit on 4/17/2006 by Mechanic 32]



posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:19 AM
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Why do I suddenly feel Warm?




posted on Apr, 17 2006 @ 06:24 AM
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Oh Gawwd, youse crack me up. Noone knows how much


By the way, i dont like people who can't spell.



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