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And then the fight started jokes

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posted on Jul, 28 2011 @ 08:55 AM
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
Anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 In about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace Expensive... So, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing My curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is Proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten Disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
Kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
Drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
Hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on
Celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
Order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

posted on Jul, 28 2011 @ 09:08 AM
I bought my wife a pair of slipper's and a dildo. She asked how come you bought me that?
I said, if you dont like the slipper's you can go .... yourself.
Then the fight started.

posted on Jul, 28 2011 @ 09:22 AM
Two women are harvesting vegetables from their field in some eastern European village.
One points down at a ZUCCHINI and says: " I heard your husband has one like that......"
The other one puzzled, shakes her head smiling: " No, no no , he's not that big"
And the first one says: " Oh I didn't mean that big, I meant that dirty "

.......and then the fight started.

posted on Jul, 28 2011 @ 09:31 AM
i said to the wife during breakfast
i woke up at 3am and stared at you
i thought you looked so beautifull
ahh thanks she said what made you think i looked beautifull
cos you looked dead
and the fight started

posted on Jul, 28 2011 @ 06:25 PM
i kicked my wife in the face and then the fight started.

posted on Jul, 29 2011 @ 09:59 AM

Originally posted by DOADOA
i kicked my wife in the face and then the fight started.

i looked at the wife
then the fight started

posted on Jul, 31 2011 @ 08:28 PM
Oh man that site is gold.

Some more jokes from it.

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
"I feel Horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a Compliment."
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started.....

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, Grabbed the dog,
and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband Is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started...

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started.

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