The No-Kids-Allowed Movement is Spreading

reply to post by 2012srb


I meant more along the lines of before I had kids lol, not that you are young....

However, assuming I did think you are young why would you find that interesting? In addition, do you think I am younger or older than you? You have intrigued me...

I would just like to chime in to support those who feel "children will be children" Children simply do not belong in certain places- very nice restaurants- first class etc. They are young, impulsive, immature and do not have the ability to sit still for extended lengths of time etc. It is unreasonable to expect it of them.
There are plenty of kid friendly places. Here other parents will have patience and tolerance and people looking for a special evening out will not be disappointed.

Kim- Mother of 8

I will not now or ever go to any place or use the services of any industry that ban kids, I won't fly anyway so that doesn't change, but there are certain restaraunts I will NEVER patronize. They can't have my money.

An easy to read list of these places would be great.

On a side note...I see the pissing match over parenting hasn't been eased any.

I would add.... When my wife and I got married we decided up front that we would not be having any children.

Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but they don't fit my lifestyle. I didn't and still don't want the changes which are inevitable with bringing up children, the costs or the responsability. So we have had a great life, full of partying and fun.

Now, when we go out it is our right to be able to live in a child free zone as much as is reasonable. As much as it is anyone elses right to take their children out to lunch or dinner or whatever - and I would support you fully in that, I have had some great family meals out with neices and nephews present - it is also my right to pick a restraunt or venue where I can be assured a peacfull meal, with no kids being noisy and running arround. It is the life I have chosen and it is as legitimate and deserving as any other path.

So I think this is great news. I think there should be many more places where those who don't want kids arround can get the service they are looking for. I would add though, that I think this should not be done at the expence of those fmilies who enjoy spending time out with their kids. There should be, and I think generally there is starting to be enough choices for all.

So please don't label me as a child hating whatever it was...... I actually like children and have fun being with them. I love my nieces and nephews and we have great times together. But lets face it, the best thing about kids is giving them back to their parents!

And the worst thing? Kids who belong to ignorant parents who don't know how to keep them well behaved in public. Or who don't care. Poor parenting is what will be the downfall of mankind - never mind all this Nibiru nonsence....... Our unruly kids are the ELE!!!!!!

Oops double post! Sorry

Originally posted by mr10k
*snip*

A swat on the neck is nothing compared to death by car. How would a swat on the neck teach the child to not move in front of a vehicle? The only thing that would teach him is to not move in front of a vehicle when you're around so he does not get hit again

Who said anything about the neck? Try the seat of the pants. And, yes, it DOES teach a small child. Small children should not be out alone anyway. When would a small child be in the yard unattended?

There are valid reasons to spank, and spanking isn't abuse.

Originally posted by mr10k
reply to post by LadyGreenEyes

 

Of course we never caused issues out to eat. We're not idiots but it doesnt take a beating to understand that you cant cry everywhere you go.

Again, who said anything about a beating? A pop in the rear end isn't a beating, and isn't the only method people use to teach their kids. If you read my other posts, you will see that's not what I used for that issue, either. it can work, though.

Originally posted by unworldly
I was just at the laundromat doing my clothes. One little girl wouldn't stop whimpering; she obviously didn't want to be there. Two boys were riding around in the laundry buggies--despite signs on the wall that states anyone who lets their kids do this will be asked to leave. Two other little kids kept running around chasing each other. Oh, and let me not forget to mention the Karate Kid wannabe who felt the need to twirl and gyrate around in the aisle as if he were on crack. Oh, the joys of living in an apartment. Do count me in on that No-Kids-Allowed thing... sounds like a winner in my book.

So, what did you expect to happen? The parent of the upset child should leave her home alone, so that her whining doesn't bother you? Did you speak to the parents of the kids that were running around? I would have. Did they run into anyone? Break anything? So a kid was playing a make-believe game of karate? So what? One real problem here, from three things listed. Nothing that would warrant banning children from that laundry room.

All you have to do is read this thread to see what is wrong in America. Everyone is so easily offended, and acting like children because they feel "entitled" to something. The bottom line is it is the right of people who do not want children around to not have to be subjected to them, just as a person with children have the right to take them into social situations.

Having said that, there is a middle ground for both sides. I see nothing wrong with having adult only establishments just as I see nothing wrong with kid friendly ones. Each side should have a right to enjoy themselves in a manner that fits their lifestyle, and no one should be offended by either side. Lack of understanding and respect is what is ruining this country. Quit being so damned sensitive and stop feeling like the world owes you. Try to understand how other people feel, and respect their lifestyle/beliefs. If more of us did this, we would not need to have these discussions!

reply to post by haarvik


The fact of the matter is is that, when society had higher expectations of children, children were better behaved.

Parents disciplined their children or society did it for them.

And no one interfered with a parent teaching a child a lesson because it was no one else's business.

In today's society there is a high percentage of lousy parents and, consequently, a high percentage of rotten children.

It isn't about being offended. It's about the right of other people to eat a meal/watch a film, etc., IN PEACE.

Originally posted by Akasirus
reply to post by mjfromga

 

While I do agree with some of your post, other parts I feel are quite ignorant. Anywhere you would have a reasonable expectation of solace I think you should expect parents to not bring their children, or leave if they get out of hand. Movies, up-scale restaurants, first class seats, etc. But a grocery store? That is just stretching it.

You really think they should just abandon their cart and leave if their kid acts up? If every parent left when that happened, they would all starve from never being able to make it to the checkout, and you wouldn't be able to navigate through the mass of abandoned carts. I would hope you couldn't really be that entitled.

Yes, if you can't calm your child in a short amount of time, then you should leave-I find it difficult to believe that a thinking person doesn't know this. Don't tell me, you are one who doesn't take his child out of church or a movie if he cries, either? If it's a baby crying, it's likely just hungry or dirty and a quick stop in the RR and change will take care of it - then go back and retrieve your cart. If it's an older child, he will likely stop once you get outside and he realizes he's not getting what he wants - then go back in and shop again once he's calm. If he continues to act up, alert an employee so that he/she can put the items back. If, on the other hand, you only have a few items in the cart, let your child know that you are not shopping today because of his misbehavior and make a show of replacing the items. I also cannot believe anyone would actually spend 1/2 hour casually shopping while ignoring a screaming kid (who is probably old enough to know better). Believe me, when that kid has to go home and eat canned spinach and bologna for supper (make sure you feed him only the foods he dislikes), he will start to behave. But also, make sure you don't shop when the kid is hungry OR when he is tired - that's a recipe for disaster. Go early in the morning right after breakfast and make a game of it and turn it into an educational experience for the child - not torture. BTW, I am a parent. Been there, done that, know what to do.

Originally posted by 547000
What I find ironic are so many people who would complain that kids don't know how to socialize, yet are so eager to force kids indoors which will result in them socializing less.

edit on 1-8-2011 by 547000 because: (no reason given)

I think you aren't quite getting the complaint here. The problem is not that kids are out in public places...the problem is that parents take kids out to places they should not, at times of the day which are inappropriate, and then do nothing when the kid acts out because he is tired, bored, or testing his parents. The complaint is also that these parents, once they take the kid out to eat at 7:00 p.m. rush hour and have to sit for 1/2 hour b/4 being seated, then ignore their child who is now overly hungry or tired, and ruin the experience for all the other diners. That is selfish behavior in the extreme. Too many parents have their heads up their axxes and somehow believe that everyone loves their little brats as much as they do.

Kids should definitely go out with parents - to eat (at appropriate restaurants), to the grocery or drug store (give him money so he can learn to buy things and make change), to church (please leave when he cries), to school functions of older siblings (again, please leave if he cries), etc.

Originally posted by Classicsoul
I have read this entire thread and I feel like my head is going to melt. The reason I read the whole thing is because I wanted to know how everyone felt about the topic before I responded. I thought this was a thread about what people thought of businesses banning children not a thread about parenting skills and ideas and that seems to be what most people are talking about. I was going to post an opinion but not going to now in fear that I will either be called a child hater or a child coddler depending on which side I was going take. I thought this was suppose to be a forum where a person can express an idea or an opinion without being villified. It seems I was wrong.

edit on 1-8-2011 by Classicsoul because: freakin grammer mistake

Aww, spit it out. No guts, no glory. Actually, the two subjects - businesses banning kids and parenting skills - are closely related. It's hard to have a discussion of the one topic without bringing in the cause for the bans, which are misbehaving children and brain-dead parents. If such parents practiced adequate parenting skills, businesses wouldn't have to ban kids. The fact they do is an insult to the many of us parents who are doing the right thing as the few always ruin things for the many. Not just that, but other patrons do have the right to enjoy an outing, ride in an airplane, watch an adult movie, or eat at a restaurant without kids tearing up the joint and screaming. If such behavior is cutting into the bottom line of a business, then by all means, ban the little tykes. It is their livelihood after all, so they should be able to make the rules.

Originally posted by Suspiria
I wouldn't dream of taking my children anywhere that wasn't family friendly, it's no biggie. My only problem are childless people who GO to those places, expect perfect uninterrupted peace & get all aggravated when they don't.
Please, we as parents don't want people looking down their noses at us because our toddler decided to have a quick fit of teething troubles or is suddenly a little tired and fed up.
They are not welcome where WE are if they have no understanding or tolerance of perfectly normal behavior.
What's worse - a small child having a moment or the intolerant ignorant adults across the room who think its their god given right to eat a burger like a monk?.

edit on 1-8-2011 by Suspiria because: (no reason given)

You chose to have children. If your infant is teething, you probably should stay at home and take care of it. When I go to any restaurant, I do expect peace. That is why a no-child place is good for everyone. You go to your place and let your kids scream. I'll go to my kid-free place and get what I paid for - a nice meal without being being assaulted by screaming.

It would be soooo great to find a no kids vacation resort that didn't turn out to be a brothel. Love kids but sometimes want a nice peaceful vacation without being bombarded by kids jumping all over.

I would rather have the sounds of a crying baby next to me than be crowded by having an obese person sitting next to me.

Originally posted by edward777
I would rather have the sounds of a crying baby next to me than be crowded by having an obese person sitting next to me.

The obese have better personalities.

And you can talk to them.

I'd rather sit next to an obese person.

ETA:

John Candy. Baby.

John Candy. Baby.

Business making this choice do bother me. I think they have every right to ask someone to leave if they allowing kids to run out of control, etc. but it is discrimatory against families that enjoy fine dining, and making sure their children act appropriately in such situations.

Before my kids first "fine dining" experience - (it was macroni grill, but for them, it was special), I had a practice run at home. I actually made the kids menus, and treated them to a dining experience similiar to what we would have at the resteraunt. (The kids loved the menu thing so much, they do that on a regular basis at home for breakfast, snacktime, lunch, dinner - and take turns acting as a server).

When we went to the resteraunt, they were extremely well behaved. Now, imagine the look of the server when a 6 year old boy asks if he could get a side salad with his meal, asks what kind of dressing they have, and then politely says "I would like the macaroni and cheese, with a side salad. Honey mustard dressing, please". The waitress was stunned, and asked me if it was ok that he ordered that. I smiled and everything was fine.

The issue is parenting. I believe it is extremely tied to the issue at hand. If it wasn't for the lack of social skills shown by the children in the first place, this current issue wouldn't have come up. I disagree with the above poster that children do not belong there. Badly behaved children do not belong. If a parent takes the time to teach their children proper social skills when eating out, I am failing to see why this would bother another dinner.

reply to post by TLomon


That would be all well and good in a perfect world, but as of now it does not exist. Until that day arrives, I am all for a business to restrict it's clientele to adults only. The owner does not know if the child entering his establishment and the parents as well, are going to be civil and respectful of other patrons.

reply to post by subject x



ha ha ha ha! That is priceless! Good on you!
I did the same thing to my daughter who had an 'attitude' incident while shopping when she was around 8 ish or so.
I got fed up with her mouthing off and it was incredibly embarrassing, so at the top of my lungs I completed my shopping imitating her. Red doesn't describe the colour of her face and she's NEVER done that again.
I had so much fun though

The comments from the 'anti-discipline' people on this thread astound me, and all I can say to them is good luck in the future to you and your kids.

No boundaries at home leads to no boundaries outside of home, including school and social circles.

Having said that, babies can not be disciplined, nor do they need to be, so long as you are doing your job properly in taking care of their needs, they are pretty simple little creatures really.
I think four children qualifies my to say that I have suitable experience in this area, and all of my children, as babies, were pretty close to perfect, slept through the night after only 5-6 weeks, fed well and grew wonderfully.

On another note...
Some of the kids (teenagers) in this very small town have discovered that there are basically no consequences for their actions. Which is a fault with our own system here.
My husband was kicked in the face by a 14 year old after 3 of his mates jumped on him. We were coming back from fishing on the jetty very late one night.
The nurses who glued my husbands face back together said this was an every weekend occurrence from this particular teenager who walks around like he owns the joint and sleeping with as many teenage girls as he can.

Ordinarily I feel these kids need help, especially as their home life is sub-standard which is where most of these problem kids originate from imo.
But this kid will end up in prison or in the ocean with concrete shoes on sooner or later.