An airplane was about to crash; there were 5
passengers on board but only 4 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player, the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and
left the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the
wife of the former US President, a NY State Senator
and a potential future president." So she took the
2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said, "I'm the
president of the United States of America. I have
great responsibility being the leader of a superpower
nation. And I am the cleverest president in American
history, so America's people won't let me die."
So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out
of the plane.
The 4th passenger, the Pope, said to the 5th
passenger, a 10 year old schoolgirl, "I am old and
frail and don't have many years left, and as a
Catholic I will sacrifice my life and let you
have the last parachute."
The girl said, "It's okay, there is a parachute
left for you. America's cleverest president just
took my schoolbag." !!
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies,
housing, education ñ anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda ñ and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could
bring that here if it works out." óJay Leno
"According to military analysts, an invasion of Iraq by U.S. forces could cost between $20 and $50 billion. The Pentagon announced that it would
offset those costs by referring to it as the Verizon Wireless/Pizza Hut War Against Iraq." óTina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news ó they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with
a camel." óDavid Letterman
Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
A: You shout out, "B-52"
Q: What's the national bird of Iraq?
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
Iraq TV Guide
8:30 Mad About Everything.
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions.
9:30 Allah McBeal.
8:00 Wheel of MisFortune and Terror.
8:30 The Price Is Right if Saddam Says It's Right.
9:00 Children Are Forbidden to Say the Darndest Things.
9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers.
8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer.
8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy.
9:00 Just Shoot Me.
8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi.
9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses.
9:30 My Two Baghdads.
8:00 Judge Saddam.
8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things.
9:00 Achmed's Creek.
9:30 Nowitness News.