Originally posted by Felicia4444
Ok brief back ground:
uK FEMALE 20. As a child ran away from places fearless, adventurous and also having a strange profound love feeling for the orient. Always having a
big attachment to dreams since childhood of which i spent 4 years in a very dark sick horrific dream zone. Dreams are beyond our explanation at some
Had many upon many strange concicidences happen, also if my friends were to say something about me they would say im strange as in i look like a
normal ish girl but everything about me is so out of place nothing can be grouped and also im impulsive and constantly reinventing myself both inside
and outside. I also think i may have been an area 731 victim in my past life.
Ive been reading ats for over 6 months now but never made a thread.
Now things are happening to me and i cant find much on the web. Its effecting me that much all im doing is meditating and re searching on the pc.
Dream life regression:
All my life i have had vivid recollections of my dream, most days as i start to wake up i realize i am dreaming and sometimes re-enter the dream
conciouss, this got addictive at one point when i was 16, to the point that i was sleeping for days not caring at all about my waking life.
But recently like say over the past year, at moments, any moments no specific reason i will recall a dream i had at a very very young ages. The dream
world at this age is nothing of description it something experienced with a human body but nothing about it is 'earthly' and its indescribable, i have
a feeling that the different ages i was and the dreams i had were on different planes or dimensions im not sure.
Now i can practically concentrate on remember a dream maybe think of a past one that i remembered recently and somehow a dream i had sometime near
that will suddenly come into my head. The big deal is: I have an element of control over it, because im demanding to see it.
My mind for the most part is free from thought.
Thoughts are there but im certainly not using my brain like i used to. I feel very aware of everything around me , and can only seem to function day
by day, planning is next to impossible as i just want to follow how i feel on that day. I have experienced ego death and i would have to do a separate
post really but basically we are all one entities having different experiences. I think
A few weeks before my mind became free i was experiencing weird feelings in my brain sometimes painful. Now my brain feels weird. YEP WEIRD. Its
making me abit paranoid to say the least.
When i first opened the door to phykedellic experience , it was relief because it was like that feeling i had as a child just desperatly waiting to
see the magic i knew was there. My intuition got stronger. I live in a house with lots of messed up 20 somethings when i was sixteen. Long story
I saw him one morning i can feel my gut is screaming at me something is really wrong with adam. I ask him if he is ok, he doesn't want to talk etc
theres alot of background but im trying to keep to the point. anywho he wont come out of his house, at my house there are about 11 of us all squatting
in a 3 bed house adam would not answer his phone that day or his house, i kept saying to everyone that something is very wrong and he looked seriously
upset this morning, everyone said he is attention seeking etc and didnt want to care about him quite frankly, i go to the bathroom when im overcome
with strong feelings of emotion and a certainty that hes dead, i mean at the moment it was like it had already happened and as if i accepted it
within. I broke down and screamed at the ppl i lived with to break into his house.
When we did , we found him dead. He had hung himself.
This was one of my first truths, because when we found him i was compleatly numb in shock and regressing the past moments before we discovered him.
Its like ive just woken up because everyday life isnt physically or physiologically the same anymore.
Everything i say and do is much slower and im more attuned to it. I feel people emotions its embarrassingly easy to read and unfortunately because i
am a light being and dont have much ego my emotions are always open and honest too.
My friends call me lulu pan, they say im an old soul who never grows up. My behavior and actions have been reduced to somewhat childlike in there
innocence and expression in the moment.
I have no motives but to have fun, help people, be relaxed, doing something fun oh wait i just said that.
You know the space between everything that existes (the air?) well i can constantly see speckles like invisible ones and its getting stronger to the
point where im tripping out.
SDeriously what the hell is happening to me im anxious to move forward and also find poeple experiencing the same things i know my post literature
wize is crappy but i just needed to quickly get some things out and i will build on it from there.
-diet: im only eating to fuel my body, 'bad foods' disinterest me
-most of the time my mind is blank and i find myself just staring and then the thought comes 'why are you not thinking?'
- I can discifer peoples emotion states like you can tell if the water is hot or cold.
- My brain is experiencing strange feelings in my head and the profound urge to meditate or do nothing
- when im with people my ego doesn't work and its not even that ive actually lost every will i had to care about it.
- i dont care about anything anymore , all you have is the moment and its all your existence is
- I 'know' when i die i become my true self in the dream galaxy.
-my hearing and sight seems somewhat more focused
- What ever i am believing is sometimes instantly sometimes slowly manifesting but not in the way like a shamen i cant conjure things!! (not
Anyway in essence of all of this my old life is completely meaningless im fleeing to Nepal Tibet to do whatever. I actually dont care i dont know why
but just to meditate for about a year i think i have to i cant function here in the uk. If anyone wants to join me please contact me. The plan is
spiritual freedom in the himalayas and if SHYTF IN 2012 then we have best bets on a safe spot too.
Thanks for reading go easy on me guys this was not the best i could of done but all im capable to do now with this new mindset, i find it hard to
concentrate on one thing for perdiods of times and to then organise it, hold onto the thoughts thats also difficult and even understand what im
thinking . OMG im so confused!!!
I'm SUPER sorry that I'm quoting your entire first post and I'm about to go off on a long ass post and I'm just going to start typing and w/e comes
out comes out so I'm sorry if it seems confusing/ hard to follow...
But I HAVE to reach out to you. You and I are one and the same... just reading through your post stimulated that hidden consciousness and I could feel
parts of my brain literally pulsating... It's a hard feeling to explain. How do you tell people that you can physically feel parts of your brain
tingling or pulsating??? I like to think of it as the feeling when you switch from one set of brainwaves to another but perhaps it could even be
something way more deep and profound.
Reading about your dreams and power of recollection strikes me personally. As a little kid, I used to have the vividest of dreams and I used to get
lost in "the dream world". I def used to lucid dream a lot as a child and as a teen and the line between reality and dream has created a blurr over
certain parts of my childhood. Did I ever really know or interact with that person? Did I really go out and do that? Or was that a lucid or vivid
dream and that memory has stuck with me ever since and I've accepted it as reality???
This has just started happening recently, but I can be doing any day to day trivial activity and randomly out of no where I get a surge in my head and
I can recollect bits and pieces of dreams I used to have 10+ years ago... and I start going over the bits and pieces in my head and I can recall more
and more details from the dream(s).
Your ability to recieve and recall premonitions again is another thing close to my heart. Long story short, hours before the Japan Quake this year I
was literally awoken by the shaking and shrieks of a dream I had. It was no regular dream... and the screams really disturbed me. So much so that I
broke my silence with my mother and spoke to her for about 2 hours about this strange dream I had when I hadn't spoken to her for about 5+ months. She
was the only one home at the time and the feeling that I had was so strong that my bitter fued with my mother didn't even matter. I went to bed that
night and a few hours later was awoken by my dog who was crying. Went to the comp and 2 minutes later went on to google and saw the little bulletin on
the bottom for the tsunami warning issued for japan after the 9.0 quake! I have never felt so breathless in my life and when I turned on the TV I was
having trouble breathing because I was so choked up, coughing just trying to gasp for air it awoke both my mother and father. When my mom realized the
magnitude of the situation she broke down crying as I was already in tears just from the emotional and physical shock of everything. Actually, it was
because of this moment that I eventually stumbled across ATS and joined to try and see if anybody here could make sense of my "experience".
I've been plagued with deja vu since a child. They come and go... sometimes a couple times a week. Sometimes a few times within a single day.
Sometimes I'll get one every couple of months. But I've always had deja vu. I could be having a conversation with people and I can recall the deja
vu/memory of the conversation. Sometimes the perspective doesn't match up correctly 100%, but the gist of things always does. What I mean about that
is in my deja vu I'll recall that I heard the exact same phrase, word for word, coming out of the same persons mouth, but in the deja vu/recollection
I'd be sitting in a different position, or doing something different where as in reality my physical perspective is different because I'd actually be
facing the person who I'm in dialogue with or partaking in another activity. Also, there have been moments in my life when I SHOULD have been gravely
hurt, or gotten into a really bad scuffle or something but I'll get deja vu and I avoid stepping into the situation all together so I avoid the
negativity. Also, this used to happen to me when I was in grade 7 and 8 a lot, but I could be indoors or outdoors, walking around and I'd hear wind
chimes out of no where... and always the same little jingle. I know what you're saying... what do I mean by "it was always the same jingle"?. Well,
all windchimes make noise, but the quality is different depending many different factors that contribute to the sound that it produces. But I KNOW it
was always the same set of wind chimes because I have a really good ear. Actually all my senses are heightened.
I have really good eyes, artistically and physiologically. I SHOULD have horrible hearing since I listen to music on FULL blast, yet when I'm chilling
in the backyard at night with some friends enjoying the good company/conversation, in the midst of everything I can pick up the faintest of sounds off
in the distant. I can randomly break out into song and people will stop talking and everyone will listen closely and surely, off in the distance the
song I'm singing or rapping to is playing and everyone will be like "Wtf how the hell could hear that when we were all yelling?". I have REALLY good
sense of smell and taste and I'm really ticklish so I guess I have heightened sense of feeling as well.
There used to be moments in my past (I haven't experienced this in a long time) when I'd walk into a room or be doing something and I'd go blank and
it would be as if my mind was reset or I was being channeled by somebody not of this world or reality and I could feel their confusion. Like, I would
just trip out and be like "woah, look at the physical composition of that surface" and I'd have these thoughts running through my mind like "how did
they change the molecules and stuff to turn it into that?"
There's been a huge change within me over the last couple of months, on the level of paradigm shifting I would say. I've been getting more and more
into meditations and upon even my first attempt to meditate, I've experienced some pretty surreal moments that are straight up out of this world... so
I KNOW there's something else out there. I'm only 21, but I feel like I'm so far ahead of my self. Like decades if not centuries out. I'll have the
craziest ideas or concepts pop into my head that I just shouldn't be having or privy to that I know could pan out into billion if not trillion dollar
investments into the future and beyond. Things that could literally revolutionize reality and life as we know it.
A line from one of my favorite artists currently; I forget better sht than ya'll ever thought of.
I know my place/role in this life, but I'm still trying to put perspective on a "universal" scale... I know that was probably one of the most craziest
statements you'll ever read, but I'm fairly confident that my mind will unlock questions and answers that others have not been able to answer,
perceive or conceive.
I chose the name Nastradamus because of my love for Rap/Hip-Hop and for my interest in Michel de Nostredame (Nostradamus). I feel that Nostradamus was
like an individual much like myself. Centuries ahead of his time and he just had such an advanced and intimate understanding of how people/ the human
race as a whole functioned currently and where it was heading. Being able to account and keep track of the uncountable amount of variables that
influence human emotion and behaviour, psychology, sociology, philosophy, anthropology...with a great understanding of all these I believe Nostradamus
was able to deduce his "prophecies".
Humans, which in turn means the human race, are actually quite predictable. Let "nature" take its course and everything is a "sure bet". Yet people
still feel the need to intervene and interject their will onto the world all in the name of greed, lust, and power.
I could LITERALLY sit here and converse all night within this one post but there is just sooooo much to talk about I'll spare everyone who stumbles
across this the pain.
I hope that you ride that cyclical wave of life/the universe and stay ahead of the curve to avoid the coming dangers while on your journeys and that
you arrive at your destination (physical and mental) in one piece...
edit on 29-7-2011 by Nastradamus because: (no reason given)