Make New Friends, but Keep the Old

This is a song we sang, as young girls in scouts.

Make New Friends, but Keep the Old
One is Silver, and the Other, Gold.

Like many people, I was astonished when ATS opened the floodgates, and the membership went through the roof in a short period of time. I think I didn't post anything for a few weeks, because it was all so.....overwhelming. I noticed the same from several of my pre-2010 friends.

It's taken some getting used to, and I think I may be coming around.

However, I've lost some good, intelligent, funny, kind friends along the way. Some brilliant. They either couldn't or didn't want to adjust to all the “influx”, or, quite often, were banned. In any event, they now post only a fraction of what they did in the past. Some still check in on the site, others don't.

We were instructed that we WOULD NOT be rude to new membership. We would not chase anybody away. We would welcome new membership with open arms.

Fine. But in the process, many old members have been lost.

The older membership are the ones who produced the threads and made the posts that prompted the new members to want to be here in the first place.

I complained once, about a friend who had been banned, and I was told that things go on behind the scenes, through u2u's that I might be unaware of, and I accept that, and don't doubt it in the least.
Members can be stubborn and unyielding. As well can Admin?

Don't get me wrong. I have come to adore S.O., and Springer, and have never had a bad encounter with a mod. I've had my wrist slapped, of course, deservedly so, and when it happens, I typically apologize, and move on. Never have I been treated unfairly. But not everyone's personality is like mine.
Some people will take it to the last edge of the cliff, until they fall off, or perhaps, are pushed?

What I'm wanting is some kind of “older member retention” effort. If someone has been a fantastic member, and has a meltdown, or breaks a t/c from frustration, can we please find a way to deal with it, rather than banning?
Would it be possible to even lift bannings on some of these members?

Can we find a way to make new friends, but keep the old?

So eloquently put, LiW.

I looked through my list of "friends" on my profile, and was quite surprised to see almost half my friends list are banned members.. Some rightfully so, others, I could find no reason for said actions.

It does seem, or appear that admin's seem a little ban-hammer-heavy lately.

It does worry me, and concern me that in some cases, we are taken out, like the KGB took out the citizens, without a peep. Not that I am comparing ATS admin to the KGB.

Many interesting minds have been silenced, some for their ferver, passion, and unwavering stance on a subject. Mostly all for not thinking before hastily not thinking before typing.

-Cyg

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


The influx of new members hasn't affected my posting because of them being rude or juvenile. I honestly can't say that I have noticed much of that although the quality of the threads and discussion seems to have suffered.

It may be my imagination but, I remember when I first came to this site, I used to read damn near every thread and they were all awesome. Now, a lot of them are just meh. It may be that its just rehashing stuff that we've talked about before or it may be that the quality of the writing and discussion has suffered.

Probably the main reason I don't post as much as I used to is because I found a job a year ago and don't have as much time for ATS anymore. That and all those damn new members always beat me to all the good stories. :bnghd:

First of all...where were the floodgates? When were they closed? I never saw those.

Second of all..."make new friends" is indeed a splendid notion. "Keep the old" is a tough call!

Last of all...third line...if there were someone on call to chase new membership away, could it be me? Any helpful techniques?

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


Thank you so much for that, you put into words a lot of what I've been feeling about this place recently.

I think you nailed it -- 2010 was when things started to change. I often feel lost with the "new ATS" crowd. On the other hand, it keeps me humble and from getting too wrapped up in who I am rather than what I post.

But its sad when old people that you get used to just...vanish...and its as if they never existed, even their names can hardly be spoken. There is something very lonely about this.

Well, I hope you won't mind me saying it but you remain one of my first and best friends here... It is very comforting knowing you are around somehow. There are a handful of posters I feel this way about, and sadly their numbers seem to be dwindling...

reply to post by silent thunder


I'll give you that. Something has changed around 2010. I originally joined in 2008 and felt more willing to be constructive in the process. About that time I started to feel differently. I left for awhile after transforming my previous identity into a disconcerted douchebag and never really stopped. Now it's mostly a matter of blurting whatever silliness comes to mind. If someone likes it, great; if not, oh well. I don't care if I get banned or anything (it's easy to do with a ridiculous outburst but it's more fun to do it subtly). I've largely turned inward to avoid casting pearls before swine.

This thing is just a toy.

I can't believe I'm bothering to express any of that;; it's really out of character.

Nostalgia and causality are awkward bedfellows ...

We miss aspects of the past, but it is that past that has led to the now in which it is missed.

It's tricky.

Originally posted by schrodingers dog
We miss aspects of the past, but it is that past that has led to the now in which it is missed.

It's tricky.

Offer up some solutions then!

Yeah, I know you "know" them but now that you're so blue I'm not sure I should believe you.

Originally posted by The1Prettiest1One
...I left for awhile after transforming my previous identity into a disconcerted douchebag and never really stopped. Now it's mostly a matter of blurting whatever silliness comes to mind....

Makes me wonder how many of our old friends still walk among us, in altered form...

Angels...or zombies?

People move on. If they were banned they were banned for a reason if they left they left for a reason. Why should ATS spend the time or effort keeping members when the beauty of a forum is that you can come and go as you please?

Originally posted by silent thunder
Angels...or zombies?

I collect brainz for God.

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


Good thread!

Perhaps they should make a new forum...

Something like "Ban appeals".... or "Banned members area" where they could go to ask for another change...

If they wanted to of course...

I have a friend that was banned as well, but it was for posting 20 one line posts in a row on the same thread :bnghd:

He wasn't trying to spam the topic... he didn't even know what "spam" was

And his banning left a bad taste in his mouth and has not returned... which is a shame.

Im not crazy about the 5 warning rule either actually... people make mistakes, debates can get heated...