Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by Jessicamsa
No offense to you, but I never understood that?
My son was born 3 months prematurely. In order to get some medicines he needed, we had to sign up for a program through the state to import the
drugs. To qualify for that program, we had to sign him up for Medicaid. After getting the Medicaid, he automatically started receiving SSI. We
never asked for it, but it was $600 per month or more for awhile. They were constantly changing the amount, and at some point they even made us pay
some back, and then they changed it again and raised it.
Anyway. I just assumed he was somehow drawing off my SS benefits.
Why would a newborn need SSI? It isn't like he was disabled and not able to work?
Of course, we appreciated the extra money, but I never felt very comfortable with it. He finally went off all benefits at his 3rd Birthday, and he is
a healthy, normal little boy now.
Well, I don't understand that, either.
I know that I should have qualified for disability when I was born because I was born with so many defects. I was around 3 or 4 before I started
walking any, but the doctors had said I wouldn't be able to walk at all. My parents had too much pride to sign up for it though, which ended up
hurting me in the long run because as I age I have more and more trouble walking. Because they didn't get me on disability and get all of it
documented when I was younger, they believe I am lying now.
Walking up and down stairs has always been a struggle for me. The circulation in my legs has always been fouled up. My legs fall asleep if I sit for
just a few minutes, but if I stand for long I am in serious back and neck pain.
Being beat into the wall and furniture years ago didn't help. Then I ended up with brain and neurological damage on top of it. I get dizzy spells
and fall a lot. I have very little coordination. For example, I can be walking while holding a cup and my hand will involuntarily fail to grasp the
cup any longer, causing it to fall. Holding with both hands helps sometimes, but not always. I was not like that until after my ex beat me that
time. And he got away with it. I was temporarily paralyzed in my right side after the beating, but I felt a painful popping sensation, and I have
been in constant pain 24/7 ever since on my right side. That made getting around even worse than before. And he got away with it because he was
buddies with the people handling the case.
The brain damage causes my hearing to do whacky stuff. For example, one moment everyone could sound muffled, and I couldn't understand them.
Another moment I would have a high pitched ringing that will take hours to days to go away. And another moment people around me talking in what's
probably normal tones will sound high pitched and cause a lot of head and ear pain. When that happens, I sometimes want to just do anything to shut
them up so that it won't hurt so bad. I've been in so much pain from it, and I have even vomited a lot during these episodes. I was never like
this before the beating. And he got away with doing this to me. August 31, 1995 was the day that ruined my life forever, and he got away with it.
And people keep telling me I should "get over it" and try to get along with him?? If a stranger had done this to me, would I be expected to get
along with him??
And his government buddies kept going stuff like, "I know Kenny. He's a nice guy. He wouldn't have done this to you unless you caused him to be
mad." He wasn't even angry when he did it to me though. He loved to torture me. He was very calm and methodical. He was even smiling while he
was beating me. It gave him a lot of pleasure.
His cop buddies destroyed the photos of the bruises from the evidence before the trial. I was bruised from head to toe and had trouble even walking
across a room for months. I was still so injured at the trial that I had to be helped to the witness box. I couldn't even make food for myself.
Women at the shelter made sandwiches for me and helped me eat them or else I wouldn't have even been able to eat. I was spoon fed jello and soup for
a bit too. It was the start of my teeth getting messed up because I had trouble gripping a toothbrush to even brush my teeth. Some people at the
shelter helped with that some too, but my teeth were not taken good care of during the time. I had very good teeth before then. And he got away with
it. He did that to me and got away with it.
And even with my being covered with bruises, Christian folks kept chastising me for leaving my husband, quoting scripture, and urging me to go home
and be more submissive. I was told I was reaping what I had sown.
I learned later that I was pregnant with my girl. He had raped me so many times by then I had long lost count. But I was and am strongly pro-life
and was not going to abort my baby just because she was a product of rape. I didn't view her as a product of rape though. I viewed her as my baby.
She is a precious life.
And the government is sending my baby to live with him because he is a government employee with benefits versus me, a "welfare bum" on medicaid. He
has promised me that I will never see her again and has talked about killing her numerous times. I even have letters where he described killing me
and her and licking the blood up with his tongue. They read the letters. They were like 'oh, I'm sure he isn't so bad. He should get another
chance.' Or some of them, even after reading the letters, say that I am just delusional and that he really isn't that bad. It makes me wonder what
they do to their family members at home if that isn't so bad to them. Whatever he does to her is their fault as well as far as I am concerned. They
will have her blood on their hands if he kills her.
No one has ever given me "another chance" at anything. People have been so judgmental towards me since I was a child that I often doubt I ever got
a first chance. And I've never beat people against walls for pleasure. I've never been one to find pleasure in torturing another person. I've
always tried to be kind to others. I've even saved a few lives over my years. I have done things for others in need without expecting anything in
return except maybe some respect if that. But I am a worthless eater while he is mr wonderful. I hate being alive. Maybe I should start torturing
people too. Maybe then I could get some respect. But I'd feel bad about it. I could never enjoy it like he does.
I have lots of other health problems on top of that. I have conditions where my insides bleed a lot. I have to take expensive meds to help keep the
bleeding down some. I had those conditions since early childhood, but no one got medical treatment for me. My family was ashamed of me after I was
born and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong.
And nearly every employer I've ever had fired me within a day or two because of my health problems. I wanted to work and be a normal person instead
of a freak.
I have no idea why a child would automatically get SSI though if the parents don't fill out the paperwork for it. It took me years to finally get
approved. And no, I'm not being bitter at you for being able to get it so easy, I'm just saying I don't know enough to explain it to you. I had
to fight years to get it, and I didn't get approved until a few months ago.
I am glad your son is okay now.
My daughter was a premie when she was born as well. She wasn't ever really delayed though. She was a large premie. Had I gone full term with her,
the radiologists thought she would've been like 12 pounds when she was born.
I remember she had jaundice though. They sent her home with machines with lights on them. However, they weren't helping at all. Her levels kept
going up. I was like if they were helping, her levels would be the same or going down. Some old school people finally told me to just take her
outside more and that the sun would take care of it naturally. So, I did. I had to leave the machine running though because they checked to see if
she had been on it. Her levels didn't start going down until after I had her off the machine and went outside with her a lot. The people that were
insisting that the machines were helping were like 'told you so' and they never heard the truth. I had to make sure my ex didn't find out either,
because he went along with the professionals. But the old school people were right. My girl had been on the machines for weeks with the levels going
up, but a few days in the sun and the levels plummeted and went to normal.
I had to end up wearing my girl in a snuggli. I was so messed up from the beating that I'd sometimes drop her because I couldn't hold onto
anything. I was scared of hurting her. I was so angry about it. I would've never dropped a baby like that. The snuggli helped her be close to me
though without my holding her. I missed getting to hold her much though because of it. I had to lie down to breastfeed her because I couldn't hold
her like I should have been able to do had he not beat me. I struggled a lot taking care of her at first and had to figure out work arounds to normal
child care since I couldn't do some things anymore. And my family wasn't supportive at all and didn't think I should be allowed to have her. I
was disabled and managed to raise her without help from anyone for the most part, except having to take welfare.
At first I'd get job offers that lasted a short time, except then I'd fall a lot because of the brain damage or I'd have the other trouble and kept
having to use the bathroom or had accidents a lot. When I fell, everyone assumed that I was just trying to pull a worker's comp/insurance scam and I
got fired very quickly. I tried to explain that I couldn't help it, but no one cared. And he got away with doing that to me. Every time I fall or
drop something from those injuries, it is what he did to me. And I am supposed to just get over it. I am reminded of what he did to me every day
that I am alive, and I am supposed to somehow just get over it. My whole future is going to be like this because it is permanent. How can anyone get
over their past when it becomes a permanent part of their future??
I think the medical profession sometimes deliberately keeps some people sick in order to keep getting the payouts. I think a lot of people have too
much confidence in medical professionals. I know I've had some professionals that had me do stuff that made me worse. One of my neighbors once
nearly died because she had a kidney infection and the doctor kept treating her with muscle relaxers. Her mother finally took her to the er. She was
on antibiotics for weeks. The doctor had never even done a urine test on her. And this doctor was one who saw a lot of medicaid patients. He
treated the medicaid patients like the scum most saw them as, but he had no problem getting the money for it. Fortunately, he retired and closed his
If social security is ended, it's going to hurt a lot of people. A lot of people. And the population is much greater now than during the Great
Depression, so I imagine that soup lines are going to have a lot of trouble keeping up with it all.
I used to participate on tea party boards. I was treated nice until they found out I had received welfare. But anyway, they were constantly bashing
the poor. They referred to the homeless as "feral people" and would talk about how they can't wait until the economy falls so that the welfare
scum will be cut off. Then they went on about how they'd like to use their guns on them when they came begging at their homes for food and talked
about "shoot, shovel, and shut up" alot. They'd post bible scripture about how the ones on the dole were living in sin. Well, if they were the
Christians they claim to be and concerned about sin then why don't they go around calling them to repent instead of just calling for the programs to
be ended? Aren't they called to spread the gospel and call people to repent of their sins? Instead, they just want to cut the people off. Well,
they wouldn't really be repenting then. They just wouldn't be able to have access to the sin anymore.
I'd post in defense of the poor and started getting attacked for being a liberal. At the time I considered myself to be a conservative, so I found
it confusing. Now, I consider myself to be an anarchist. I could never consider myself to be a liberal, because I am strongly opposed to abortion.
I am so strong in my beliefs that I carried my rapist's child and let her live. I consider her to be my baby and him just a sperm donor now. I
realize now though that the only thing I have in common with these Christian conservatives is my stance on abortion. After having to struggle all of
my life just to survive, I take great offense at the names they call people like me. I have been a feral person five times, by their standards. I
have, however, seen more kindness and compassion among feral people than any of those toting along the Bible.
I know some people who got so tired of trying to find a job here that they moved out of the country to find employment. It's pretty ironic
considering all of the people illegally crossing the border to get into the country.
And it's an employer's market. Very few jobs already, and not many employers are going to hire the disabled over someone who is young and
able-bodied. It wouldn't even make sense to do that. They are going to hire the most productive, and someone who is disabled isn't going to be
very productive to their high standards.