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The Guys' Rules

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posted on Aug, 12 2004 @ 03:44 PM
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I dont know if this has been posted before if it has then delete. Otherwise have a good laugh:



The Guy's Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.



Please note... these are all numbered "1"

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not ! a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, tennis, poker,
or golf.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping.







posted on Aug, 12 2004 @ 04:10 PM
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

This should be number the first, first one!



posted on Aug, 12 2004 @ 09:57 PM
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That is beautiful....just beautiful!! It could almost work....Really, it could! It borders on chauvinistic and honesty - the humor in between is just the truth - I love it!



posted on Aug, 12 2004 @ 10:52 PM
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Originally posted by Jonna
This should be number the first, first one!


They all are #1!


I loved the finale,

"Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. "

It true most of time, unless your in deepsh|t, during those times you better make breakfast tommorow.

My trademark is always getting my suprises foiled in one way or another, HOW DO THEY FIND OUT!!!!!!



posted on Aug, 25 2004 @ 11:30 PM
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its weird... im only 12, yet i relate TO EVERYONE OF THOSE. dont treat me like im 12. i know some pretty sick and twisted things for my age. really.






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