Dear summerfigs and newfigs.

Hello summerfigs and newfigs, I've decided to reach out and address you within this thread. You should feel very privileged since oldfigs usually never speak to your kind without following the speech with a slapping about the face.

Ok, lets cut to the chase, shall we?

We get it...you just turned 12 years old, recently found 4chan and now want to try your hardest to earn your troll wings by rickrollin and obvious trollin your way on to ATS. Yes, yes, I understand that you giggle uncontrollably when you make your avatar a 4 year old meme or reuse an overly used 4chan motto over and over again in each post. I get it...it is only natural for someone your age.

But lets try and get you to understand a few things just so you can stop making a fool out of yourself here. You are all basically screaming "look at me! look at me! I belong!" every time you go out of your way to "try and fit in" with the oldfigs.

I mean, the average oldfig can walk across most of your gene pools and keep the top of their sneakers dry (this alone could be the main reason you fail to see the error in your overly obvious ways) so why you trying so hard to step up and be the big bad troll guy?.

You are not anon because you shop at HotTopic and bought a Fawkes mask this summer. You are not getting any older as a fig each time you say "herp derp" and then high-five yourself as if you accomplished something incredible. Its absolutely painful to watch you do everything you can to try and expose yourself as a b-tard with each passing moment you spend here just so you can feel like you belong to something.


What I am trying to say is- you suck at what you are trying to do. You heard of "the cancer", but you made the dreadful mistake of thinking it wasn't "you". That is not acceptable.

Real trolling comes from being clever and getting away with it up until you pull the rug out and destroy the minds of those you are trolling. You do not "win" by being easily identified before you even make your first post. Its like watching a young white suburbanite wearing a Wu-Tang shirt and throwing up the dub with both hands as he insists he sells the best bags on the east coast.

I know what you are thinking "Mr Mask is gay", or something terribly juvenile or equally as unoriginal, but I'm trying to help you here. You see, it takes much much more then just posting a few spider man pics or posting a few troll faces to actually become what you are so drastically trying to emulate.

I suggest this...go back to 4chan, lurk more- and when you got your trollen down to a science, then (and only then) come back here and rip the place up. Ok? Cus really, its absolutely embarrassing watching the ATS members and staff sniff you out within your first 10 or so posts before you are tossed out on your ears.

I just want to see you succeed where you are failing...because I care.

Like I said- I don't always talk to newfigs/summerfigs but when I do I call them obvious.

With that said...enjoy ATS for the short time you can before outing yourself and ultimately being banned.

PS- Inb4 U mad bro? Or any other stupid remark you think is "still hip and new".

MM

I believe its pronounced summerfag and newfag..
summerfig
'newfig'

reply to post by Mr Mask


Thanks, for an incredible post, MM. You are one hell of a writer.

This has been the most educational time for me on ATS yet, and the day ain't even over yet.

I am going to go find out what all the fig nomenclature is about. Thanks again.

reply to post by Mr Mask


for a second I thought you were going to end your post with the fresh prince of belair.
lol. here's a rick roll for everyone.



additional newfig figgotry.
you mad /b/ro?
come at me /b/ro!
Anything raptor jesus.
etc etc.

great post.

Originally posted by mb2591
I believe its pronounced summerfag and newfag..

:shk:
If I'm going to be old, I would rather be an oldfig than an oldfag

reply to post by mb2591


Not on ATS its not.

So I had to improvise.

MM

reply to post by Frater210




That's how you go undercover. I like it.



MM

Originally posted by Mr Mask
reply to post by mb2591

 

Not on ATS its not.

So I had to improvise.

MM

ahh ha I think for the purpose of this thread it should be allowed.. It's not like they don't already know what a newfag or summerfag is

Rule number one, man

I think you just lost The Game XD

Edit* Btw, as hilarious I do find a pro troll to be, I don't do it myself

Originally posted by Artanis667
Rule number one, man

I don't follow any rules but the T&Cs.

And that had to be beaten into me.

MM

Originally posted by snowspirit

Originally posted by mb2591
I believe its pronounced summerfag and newfag..

:shk:
If I'm going to be old, I would rather be an oldfig than an oldfag

well I'm sorry but thats not how it works.. It's ok though we'll all be oldfags someday.

Gotta post once more or I will burst...

Been to see about the Figs. All I can say is that I am glad I am from my generation as it is apparent that we will be wiping the butts of the 2 succeeding generations for a long time to come.

OK. What just went down this morning with the Bob thread was utterly bad-ass. I was pretty confused at first and got in to some hot water, but I am glad I stuck around for the finish and then this thread.

Did you folks see that s!#&? Where do you see internet justice fall as swiftly as that?

Those two obviously had nefarious plans from the beginning. It was as if the staff and the site owner himself just picked those two up by the hair and kicked them in the nuts.

It was so visceral I could feel it through the monitor!

God! I love this site.

P.S. The real mystery to figure out now is how SO grew two feet on one leg.

Sigh...summerfigs.

P.S.S. You see, when I read this I actually thought you were pining somehow for Summer figs. You know, like from the market.

I am new to this site but not new to life (62 ) I do enjoy my time on ATS I am also new to computers and have lots to learn .
What I have noticed in my time on this site is the number of people who cant follow simple rules and common decency .I see almost daily new members wanting to post a Thread in the Introduction Forum .and then attempt to whine about why not. Rules weed out (dare I say the word ?) Trolls .
Skeptic said it well ..you conduct yourself as if you were a GUEST in someones home..You mess up and you wont get invited back (not a direct quote )
It seems to me that we at ATS have had an influx of less than desireables from another site lately .. I think if we dont feed them they will go away . Just trying to get along and become part of something good and trying to help keep it that way !

And by the way..we may be grateful for the Mods analiseing photos..someday we may get a real UFO picture that passes all the tests..dont think it will happen but we can hope cant we ?

Originally posted by Frater210
Gotta post once more or I will burst...

Looks at your avatar-

Been to see about the Figs. All I can say is that I am glad I am from my generation as it is apparent that we will be wiping the butts of the 2 succeeding generations for a long time to come.

Well, in defense of figs of all types and from "all generations"- the problem is not the majority. As always, its a handful of followers trying to impress a collective. For the most part, these guys/girls/traps are good people just having fun.

OK. What just went down this morning with the Bob thread was utterly bad-ass. I was pretty confused at first and got in to some hot water, but I am glad I stuck around for the finish and then this thread.

I agree with the badass-ness. Skeptic-O handled business along with the staff. I personally enjoy knowing this site has a good bunch of people in control of its moderation.

Where do you see internet justice fall as swiftly as that?

Defending the homefront is a just cause!

Those two obviously had nefarious plans from the beginning. It was as if the staff and the site owner himself just picked those two up by the hair and kicked them in the nuts.

Nefarious plans or not, those two did not come alone and have a few more cohorts with them still here. More nuts are still to be kicked.

It was so visceral I could feel it through the monitor!

God! I love this site.

That's the point. I also love ATS. I've said it many time- ATS is the best site online. But we do have our problems here, and defending the site should be of utmost concern to anyone who enjoys it.

This is our website...we should be willing to defend it.

P.S.S. You see, when I read this I actually thought you were pining somehow for Summer figs. You know, like from the market.

Lol. I actually could go for some now that you mention it.

Thanks for posting here!

MM

Originally posted by granpabobby
I am new to this site but not new to life (62 ) I do enjoy my time on ATS

I also still consider myself a new member here, and also enjoy it overly.

I am also new to computers and have lots to learn .

First rule of computers- do not eat computers.

What I have noticed in my time on this site is the number of people who cant follow simple rules and common decency .I see almost daily new members wanting to post a Thread in the Introduction Forum .and then attempt to whine about why not. Rules weed out (dare I say the word ?) Trolls .

When I first got here, I made too much noise and wanted to bang heads with too many people. It took a little while for me to realize "I was part of a problem here". So, I have tried to get along with the system instead of trying to destroy it.

The people you see trying to do harm to ATS do not have a loyalty to it. They want to disrupt and damage it for all sorts of reasons. Lucky for us all, the staff is good and swift. If you see trouble, report it. Reporting these types is the #1 defense against tomfoolery, and always results in the fastest solution.

Skeptic said it well ..you conduct yourself as if you were a GUEST in someones home..You mess up and you wont get invited back (not a direct quote )

Yknow, I always don't understand people who don't understand that. This is not a free-for-all forum for everyone to just abuse the privileges of and blindly throw garbage in each other's faces.

The example you used fits perfectly. People need to see the matter for what it is- "This is a private home, owned by individual people...if you can not stop yourself from crapping on the rug- you will be shown the door".

It seems to me that we at ATS have had an influx of less than desireables from another site lately ..

Its summer, and the figs are ripe.

I think if we dont feed them they will go away .

Dunno bout that...but I respect your line of thinking on it. Interacting with these summerfigs/newfigs in a way that gives them what they want is not going to help anything. They live for chaos on web forums. They get off on people taking them seriously and fighting them. So yeah, not feeding them is an age old warning that predates ATS and all the other websites that these trouble makers are born from.

Just trying to get along and become part of something good and trying to help keep it that way !

I love that idea, and I'm with you on that!

And by the way..we may be grateful for the Mods analiseing photos..someday we may get a real UFO picture that passes all the tests..dont think it will happen but we can hope cant we ?

I love that the mods and staff interact as members as well. I sometimes see people say things like "staff shouldn't get involved or post as members"- that is silly to me. The mods interacting with us is what makes them family, and not just some impersonal shadow force of internet power.

As for real UFO pics being discovered here...We can only hope.

I still hope ATS one day breaks the story to the world that UFOs are here, with proof and a good show of it.

So yeah, we can hope...but I won't hold my breath.

Thanks for posting here!

MM

But Aha! I've discovered a little relief this morning.

One of the "summerfigs" makes a thread:

OP: " I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know. Nanner nanner boo boo"

Poster #1: No, you don't, you silly goose, oh no you don't.

OP: Oh, yes I do, nanner nanner, but I can't tell you!.
(This goes on for a page or two)

Poster# 27: I believe you! I can tell you reallly know! Oh please tell us then, oh please oh please! ♥♥♥♥

OP: la la la. No can do. I'm so smug in my knowingness. Nanner nanner boo boo.

This goes on for another few pages.

So see MM? It rounds them all up in one place for a little while. They commune in their summerfigishness. Can we have a new forum for them? Where they can meet up and practice.....whatever it is they practice?
How to be inane perhaps? A place where they can presume to know everything?

reply to post by angeldoll


Yes, that seems very much like summerfig/newfig tactics...how impressive to see them actively practicing their Fisher-Price-my-first-Troll-wings.

As for making a forum for them...they already have one on another site. They leave there to come to places like ATS to get back slapping and praise from other newfigs/summerfigs.

Of course, if you did make such a forum, it would appear to have about 50-100 members in it...but in reality it would be about 20 members with sock accounts.

That leads us to the definition of samefig



Thanks for posting here!

MM

Some OC for the occasion.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/525c219e08e2.jpg[/atsimg]

In the name of samefigging.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/976c1ada1470.jpg[/atsimg]

MM