I refuse to help a friend in need

I dont get it.. isnt this genral chit chat? iots not a rant?> see.. ATS is just boggus.

goes to show ya.. they'll move it to where it gets less credance and less discussion..

well my exodus starts now.

reply to post by Myendica


if my guess is right the Mods & T&C then your comparing apples and oranges...the T&C are set up to promote discussion within a set of rules. friendship obeys rules however there is a grey area in friendships where the lines may be crossed to validate certain points of view or stances on events etc. this site isnt a "friendship" and thus flexibility in the manner of a friendship does not apply to rules of participation. there can be no flexibility in those or there would be abuse and quality of the site would be the victim.

in a friendship exploring what isn't the norm or isn't mainstream, regardless of the topic is where we build our philosophical base to build our own paradigm, belief systems. that isn't the purpose of sites like this. to keep conversations flowing and to avoid stoppers and slights rules are in place. I often debate very serious topics with my friends. none of those topics would be fodder for this site, as they would be violations of participation.

you cant expect lifes flexibility to be applied to something like this site it is unrealistic.

..... am I the only one who thinks he's talking about the PEOPLE who take part in the discussions? I never saw him mention T&C's or Mods even once until his thread was moved

which just further proves to me that mods don't read the threads - I think they must look for certain keywords or something and then move stuff around when they find them

there wasn't anything resembling a rant in the OP IMHO

to me he's asking a simple question - What exactly is an open mind, and why do so many people fight it even while claiming to have one?

Originally posted by Myendica
The point is people.. they will always try to curve the topic of conversation. they dont want you to be open thinkers.. they dont want you to provide life changing ideas.. they want you to fall in line and read the content they allow so that you'll be content with the horrible things taking place around you. they just get used to the bad things, and not let them see the light.

Seems to me that friends, when they see you are unhappy or not doing well, they attempt to help within their own paradigm of views. it isnt that they are trying to "get you to fall in line" they are merely saying..

hey i see your having problems with X. when i had problems with X i did this and it worked for me. thats is where the other person would say i understand your point of view and that may have worked for you, however this is why i cant/wont do that. its called an honest debate or discussion.
you cant really discuss a topic and come to a correct conclusion without first exploring the other points of view and then either accepting or dismissing them.
the only way to properly discuss anything is to fully look at all sides prior to judging, if that is at all possible.

this is of course in a "friendship" this does not apply directly to ANY website as all have T&C that are agreed upon when you sign up to participate.

reply to post by Forevever


perhaps the footnote in the OP wasn't added until it was moved...thus the change of topic.

Originally posted by CaDreamer
reply to post by Forevever

 

perhaps the footnote in the OP wasn't added until it was moved...thus the change of topic.

I agree with you about people are just trying to help by expressing their beliefs (post above the quoted one)

The op wasn't changed - I think the conversation just evolved to this - I re-read the thread - originally I thought he was talking specifically religion - then on to morals - but now I think its about the open mind.

I apologize if I was confusing - but yeah, I'm not sure he knew exactly what he was asking in his parable until it came this way - now it makes more sense to me - but this is all my opinion - I could be completely wrong

In actuality, his "footnote" or "fine print" is this:

edit on 3-7-2011 by Myendica because: This is a parable of sorts, and the story has been changed. But I feel explains the stupidity of certain topics that get censored.

Taking the OP into context with that mini-explanation puts the intent of the thread author as one of a rant regarding what he feels is the censorship of certain viewpoints.

Originally posted by maria_stardust
In actuality, his "footnote" or "fine print" is this:

edit on 3-7-2011 by Myendica because: This is a parable of sorts, and the story has been changed. But I feel explains the stupidity of certain topics that get censored.

Taking the OP into context with that mini-explanation puts the intent of the thread author as one of a rant regarding what he feels is the censorship of certain viewpoints.

ahhh I see then, and sorry OP but I'm forced to agree
I somehow missed the censorship complaint - maybe it was there originally, maybe not - I swear I read it a couple of times.... my brain doesn't always register things though - I was wrong ♥

The best way I can relate to all of this is to think about an issue that I have often been at odds with in regards to a friend I have. He was, and may still be, involved in certain activities that I cannot for the life of me understand how and why he finds these activities entertaining. I have a pretty open mind and have tried to understand.

I realize people are different, but most rational people should have a line that just can't be crossed. This line should exist and it will always involve morals, religion, personal experiences, and open mindedness. Fact is, people who have a healthy mind know what their limitations are, but should still be able to talk about it and still accept the fact that it isn't anything they are interested in experiencing. There's just some things that cross a line for me, but not for other people. I'm fascinated with this manner of thinking and do try to talk about it so I can learn more and maybe come to an understanding, but it still doesn't mean that I'll ever be open-minded enough to allow myself to cross that line. I know I wouldn't be comfortable crossing that line. When discussing said topic, it's impossible not to mention my own morals and standings and I would hope that this friend would respect and learn from me just as I am through them.

Originally posted by maria_stardust
In actuality, his "footnote" or "fine print" is this:

edit on 3-7-2011 by Myendica because: This is a parable of sorts, and the story has been changed. But I feel explains the stupidity of certain topics that get censored.

Taking the OP into context with that mini-explanation puts the intent of the thread author as one of a rant regarding what he feels is the censorship of certain viewpoints.

thank you for that clarification, that is also how i saw the thread and thus the responses i have posted.

the footnote was added 3 seconds after the OP was started. the time stamps should be visible..

regardless.. since somehow its a rant.. maybe I should start to be irrate? I was trying to generally chit chat amongst members.. or friends, or aquaintances... but now I feel its my obligation to belittle them and talk ish.. since im not ranting..


ok well.... some people just dont read or think. I knew exactly how this conversation would go, I even knew they would move it despite the fact it wasnt a rant to begin with... Honestly I did get one thing wrong, and thats where they'd move it to. Apparently having an open mind means staying in the boundaries of that said mind. make sure you have your focal points people... get in the right line and take the correct notes..

I sure hope some of you realize...


rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant..

haha.. people just trying to appeal to everyone else.. and if you have appealed to someone, and someone else comes along, you'll both try to be judgemental of that person as to keep your appealingness to each other.. no one wants to be honest, everyone wants to fit it..


no seriously, I'm ranting, NOW>

bogus.. this will be my last post..

it seems that your friend is just trying to help you ... this is the pattern of every religouse persone he or she only try to give you an idea so may be you will think about it and find something you like ... i think he was trying to be a good friend ...

As a point of order this is not really a parable it is merely an allegory.

My best friend and I agree to disagree on several subjects...however...we do listen to each other....state our viewpoints....and respect each others right to believe the way we do. That is why we have such a good friendship...we have many friendly debates...but still love each other and have a good time!

The question is...can you...do you...will you... do this with your friends? If not...the quality of your friendships will be shallow.....is that what you want?

Originally posted by caladonea
My best friend and I agree to disagree on several subjects...however...we do listen to each other....state our viewpoints....and respect each others right to believe the way we do. That is why we have such a good friendship...we have many friendly debates...but still love each other and have a good time!

The question is...can you...do you...will you... do this with your friends? If not...the quality of your friendships will be shallow.....is that what you want?

edit on 3-7-2011 by caladonea because: add more

I think its wrong to imply that his friendships will be shallow, and quite honestly I think its far better to have friends that will be honest with you,and tell you "this topic is off limits...and these are the reasons why...if you choose to go there, it means that you are disrespecting my feelings on the matter'.
Honestly I far appreciate someone who is open and honest , instead of someone who trashes what you say behind your back all the time, because they don't have the courage to do it to your face.

I think there is NOTHING wrong in setting boundaries in friendships....especially if it has to do with so called friends trying to convert you to their mind control.

Originally posted by OzWeatherman
reply to post by Myendica

 

You're just as bad as what you assume your friend to be...

You're supposed to respect their wishes, just like they are supposed to respect you, but over something so "petty"...i cant understand. Its not like they stabbed you in the back or anything...its actually kind of immature. I think you owe them an apology

Why would you say this something petty? To someone who does not want to be preached at , or manipulated into some religious beliefs, it isn't petty, ...its just standing your ground.

Originally posted by nerbot
reply to post by Myendica

 

I think you ARE wrong.

I think you have very little self control and hate it when someone makes you think about something you cannot think about from a different perspective than your own.

You expect others to help shape your life by controlling what they bring to it when in fact it is your own lack of acceptance that not everyone thinks like you.

When YOU need to discuss something that someone else doesn't approve of, won't you be glad of the opportunity instead of the "stop" hand that you show to others.

1. Tolerance.
2. Acceptance.
3. "Self" control, not just control.

Those with no self control will try and contol the world around them. This sounds like a classic example.

WE would never be friends, although I would probably listen to anything you said realising you should have the freedom to do so. What I do with the information is up to me though and you could not control it.

There are some things I will never even consider to accept, and it is for moral reasons. Sometimes tolerance and acceptance of evil things, makes tolerance and acceptance just merely a friend to evil ways.
Sorry ...I don't buy the wisdom in this post...for every scenario of disagreement.

Originally posted by gabby2011

Originally posted by caladonea
My best friend and I agree to disagree on several subjects...however...we do listen to each other....state our viewpoints....and respect each others right to believe the way we do. That is why we have such a good friendship...we have many friendly debates...but still love each other and have a good time!

The question is...can you...do you...will you... do this with your friends? If not...the quality of your friendships will be shallow.....is that what you want?

edit on 3-7-2011 by caladonea because: add more

I think its wrong to imply that his friendships will be shallow, and quite honestly I think its far better to have friends that will be honest with you,and tell you "this topic is off limits...and these are the reasons why...if you choose to go there, it means that you are disrespecting my feelings on the matter'.
Honestly I far appreciate someone who is open and honest , instead of someone who trashes what you say behind your back all the time, because they don't have the courage to do it to your face.

I think there is NOTHING wrong in setting boundaries in friendships....especially if it has to do with so called friends trying to convert you to their mind control.

edit on 3-7-2011 by gabby2011 because: (no reason given)

I agree with you....my friends and I do have boundries....

That doesn't make you a bad person. It just sounds like you have judgments/resentments about organized religions. My father is the same way, and coincidentally enough, my partner is too. Perhaps there are some bad experiences or hidden wounds concerning organized religions with you? Everyone is different, so everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Just do what you feel is right, and if you feel not talking with people about religion is the best thing to do, then do that.

But if you want to listen to the other side, it's important to know that you will probably push out a lot of people from your life if you do that. This could be a good thing for you or a bad thing for you depending how you look at it. But if it makes you unhappy, then it's probably not a good thing, and maybe it's time to rethink how you should live your life. On the other hand, if it works, then you have nothing to worry about.

Life is all about changes. When a person looks back at a journal they wrote 10 years ago, chances are that they'll have a radically different mindset then as they do now. Something they were strongly against in the past, might be something they have grown used to or even fond of in the present.