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I Shot Someone

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posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 03:03 AM
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reply to post by budski
 

its not your fault mate its not as if you decided
to start a war you were just doing your job
and selfpreservation is inbuilt in us all
so please forgive your self but never forget
good luck




posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 03:06 AM
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Welsh hills hay? You were told never to talk about that..... Anyway the problem your having is because you have not embraced your own worthlessness. There are billions of people in the world, we are all no more important then insects, and in the case of honey bees far less important imo. Anyway as soon as you realise that your nothing special you will see that the piece of filth that shot at you is worth even less. The age of that piece of filth is irrelevant. What do you think he was going to go from drug running to inventing a cure for cancer. If you are religious then you know that guilt is a way for the devil to control you. All you have to do is accept that Jesus died on the cross so that you could kill that kid guilt free. If you don't accept this then you are saying Jesus sacrifice wasn't good enough. But forget all that BS, embrace what you are and don't let the false morality of society control how you feel. Your a killer, the sooner you accept that the better for everybody.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:03 AM
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Originally posted by budski

Originally posted by TheUniverse
reply to post by budski
 





and we came under fire after challenging them, them being an incursion.


What do you mean you were challenging them? Per se


We asked them who they were.

"OI Put your weapons down, step back and kneel down with your hands behind your head"


You do realize that in the South-Central American drug war theater, that any one who tells you to get on your Knees is about to execute you.

I mean it's totally commonplace for this type of execution to take place.

Also it's highly common for competing drug cartels to purchase army camos and other gear, plus official badges or police equipment like vehicles etc.

I honestly think these guys will expect you to murder them in cold blood as they kneel down. It's just too commonplace to not consider.

The only reason you would hang onto the guilt of the event was because you believed at the time you were doing the right thing but after shooting that kid you really really deeply question "what is the right thing?".

Seriously ask yourself, did your presence in Central America help increase or decrease overall drug war violence statistics?

Hey Bud would you agree to legalize drugs and end the drug war?

Also don't you think that participating directly in a low-intensity war or conflict in another nation without consent from the people (or knowledge by the people even) is wrong or right? Do you believe our governments are downplaying the severity of real war by calling it "a training mission"?

If I went on that "training mission", I would ask my officer next "If this is training, what the hell is the real deal?"

Thanks for coming to talk about it though Bud. I really appreciate what you are doing there.

Make peace with that ghost which haunts you.

I think you have done justice to that ghost by exposing it's torment to us here. And the secret war of which it all happened within. Tyvm.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:12 AM
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what welsh hills was you on or in ?
up the bunker in brecon by any chance?



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:21 AM
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Originally posted by budski

Originally posted by TheUniverse
reply to post by budski
 





and we came under fire after challenging them, them being an incursion.


What do you mean you were challenging them? Per se


We asked them who they were.

"OI Put your weapons down, step back and kneel down with your hands behind your head"


I would shoot at you too no offense, sounds like you were going to execute them after they complied, I understand where your coming from, but in the heat of the moment you go into survival mode and everyone reacts differently!

Sorry you had to shoot/kill a young boy, it must be hard. But its a cruel world we live in.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:48 AM
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For all those who don't know basic information then read this............about Belize and British involvment....

After Belize achieved independence in 1981 the United Kingdom maintained a deterrent force in the country to protect it from invasion by Guatemala (see Guatemalan claim to Belizean territory). The main British force left in 1994, three years after Guatemala recognised Belizean independence, but the United Kingdom maintains a training presence via the British Army Training and Support Unit Belize (BATSUB) and 25 Flight Army Air Corps.[31]

We kept a detachment of Harrier jets there too, in the jungle as a deterent...... I should know..!

On topic, shooting someone, anyone is a traumatic experience and if you don't have any emotions about such an event then you are either NON human or a SIS agent with 'a license'.....

The OP's emotion over this was possibly made worse by the age of the target......... Of that you have NO say because it is their life path that brought them to that point, a confrontation with you....

Regarding a one on one situation, or any life threatening situation....... Survival, MY survival is PARAMOUNT and it would be with that knowledge that I think about what I have done.............

All this just goes to re-inforce how precious life is and how much we should all enjoy it and NOT waste it on trivialities and distractions (celebrity #...et al)

Regards

PDUK



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:50 AM
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I have a question for you, Are you a trained soldier?
I will respond to your answer, with a few more questions if you don't mind.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:58 AM
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if you think it will help seek professional guideance.

if you think you already know the answers they are going to give to you you may have to go it alone.

the very fact you brought this up indidcates you are ready to address it.

you can start a very important journey now, if your up to it.

professionals will give you their answers. really you need to find your own answers.

the first part of this is the easiest. you need to stop drinking right now. try it. 6 months/12 months if you don't see a change go back on it and drink yourself stupid. but you need to give yourself a chance. stop drinking now.
don't let drink slap you around like a b1tch.

once your off drink sit down and tell yourself you want answers. once you make this decision answers will start revealing themselves to you over the following weeks and months in the strangest ways. It will get dark and tough at times too but this is why you need to be off drink and anything else. its only then you can face these things. once you get through this you will be a different person at the end. its a great oppurtunity for you.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 04:59 AM
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Having known Budski for quite some time now I'd say I'm as certain as one can be in such situations that he is telling the truth.

Seems to me like it's some sort of public confession in an attempt to exorcise his personal demons.

But wtf do I know, I'm no psychologist......but what I do know is that whilst I may not have shot and killed someone I have done some horrible, exceptionally violent things to people in the past for a variety of reasons, most of which I'm not particularly proud of and some which haunt me to this day.
And I deal with it and move on.

I'm afraid I can offer no more words of advice or comfort than that.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:05 AM
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Originally posted by Freeborn
Having known Budski for quite some time now I'd say I'm as certain as one can be in such situations that he is telling the truth.

Seems to me like it's some sort of public confession in an attempt to exorcise his personal demons.

But wtf do I know, I'm no psychologist......but what I do know is that whilst I may not have shot and killed someone I have done some horrible, exceptionally violent things to people in the past for a variety of reasons, most of which I'm not particularly proud of and some which haunt me to this day.
And I deal with it and move on.

I'm afraid I can offer no more words of advice or comfort than that.




PDUK



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:13 AM
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Originally posted by josh2009s
reply to post by budski
 


That's what you get for joining the forces.


If he didnt, then people like that are liable to end up comming to your house, killing you and your family... If not you, then someone elses. Imagine that!



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:21 AM
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Originally posted by theRhenn

If he didnt, then people like that are liable to end up comming to your house, killing you and your family... If not you, then someone elses. Imagine that!


yes, its much better to illeagally invade other countries bombing and killing the crap out them. once their country is destroyed they will be too busy trying burying bodies and trying to piece their lives back together than to come and invade us.

i would kind of disagree with this outlook on life, which means you my friend are completely sane.

i , on the other hand am completey insane.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:25 AM
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When I shoot someone all I feel is a slight recoil.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:30 AM
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Originally posted by theHairInTheSoup
reply to post by budski
 


the positive thing is that now you know why the world hates you imperial yankees playing world police everywhere you should not even be

go back your country, take your weapons with you...

AND RESIGN FROM [snip] ARMY


edit on 1/7/11 by masqua because: Removed censor circumvention


I've got a feeling Budski is Brit, I know, I know, we're the running dog lackey of the imperialist pigs, actually that's my pov, but if you're in Brit SF and you end up shooting a kid in Belize it's gotta hurt if only from the "there but for the grace of god go I", kid was trying to earn a buck by transporting or protecting drugs not overthrowing the Queen or invading Uk.

As a Running dog lackey you'll have to get your head around the fact that it's a dog eat dog world and the kid saw himself as a warrior and kids who saw themselves as warriors have been dying for thousands of years in service to their top dawgs.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:40 AM
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reply to post by yayap3
 


I'm sorry but that was too funny not to comment. Brilliant!



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:46 AM
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reply to post by ignorant_ape
 


Gotta agree, some ignorance is being displayed in this thread.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:50 AM
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After reading all of the posts by the OP, and the lack of information (wow, I read through 7 pages of BS trying to get to a story here and all I got was this damn papercut!), sorry OP, ive got to call shinanigans on this one. You just said you shot someone, and gave very little information. That's hardly a way to get something off your chest.

now.. If you were drinking a bit tonight, and it came to mind and thats how you threw it out there.. I feel ya buddy. But cmon.. I've seen better posts from you than this.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:53 AM
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Originally posted by JohnySeagull

Originally posted by theRhenn

If he didnt, then people like that are liable to end up comming to your house, killing you and your family... If not you, then someone elses. Imagine that!


yes, its much better to illeagally invade other countries bombing and killing the crap out them. once their country is destroyed they will be too busy trying burying bodies and trying to piece their lives back together than to come and invade us.

i would kind of disagree with this outlook on life, which means you my friend are completely sane.

i , on the other hand am completey insane.


If ya think so, who am I to argue? Who knows more about you than.. you.

My point is, based on the little info we got here...

If you're securing a border for YOUR country, and it's being crossed by the enemy with the intent to kill, if that soldier was not there, the enemy would find their way to your home (a home) and do what the originaly intended. Based on the lack of information, to be honest, i'm not really sure what the hell went down other than he shot someone durring boarder inspection or training, whatever be the case.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 05:58 AM
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I have crossed swords with Budski on numerous occasions over the years. We are as chalk and cheese, seldom agreeing on anything.

But he's never struck me as being a liar or a fantasist. His contributions here have invariably been well written, thoughtful & sometimes very personal. I consider him a truthful person & have no reason to doubt what he says here.

I like to think of ATS as a community of friends, friends you know, others you've still to meet.

And if a friend came up to you in the street, someone a bit low in spirits, under the weather & in need of someone to listen ... you wouldn't call them a liar to their face, as some of you are here.

Instead, you'd make some time for them in your busy day . A good friend doesn't even have to say anything, you can just act as a sounding board for your friend to enable them to get things off their chest. Just listening helps them focus their own thoughts. It enables them to make better sense of an event, their circumstances & where they're at.

Some of you are being cruel to a long term ATS member. Cut Budski some slack.



posted on Jul, 2 2011 @ 06:02 AM
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Originally posted by budski
During continuation training in Belize I was patrolling near the border, and we came under fire after challenging them, them being an incursion.

I dropped and picked a target.

I put 3 rounds in his T.

Turned out he was 15 years old.

I can't let go of that.

It haunts me every day.
edit on 1/7/2011 by budski because: (no reason given)


Ops sorry:




we came under fire after challenging them, them being an incursion.


Did you do something wrong here? Why did you challenge them into a gun battle?

What side of the border where they on when you challenged them?


By saying challenging do you mean to say that you provoked the other side to shoot at you, so that you could shoot back at them?

What does you engagement rules say about your conduct of duty as a patroller.





edit on 27.06.08 by spy66 because: (no reason given)



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