Illinios H.S. science project exposes adoption

Not sure where to post this so if it needs to be moved , OK.

My brother -in- law and his wife could not have children so they adopted a baby boy.
The boy is in H.S. now , and his science class was doing a DNA project involving every student and their parents.
I don't know all the specifics, and I would have asked questions as a parent. Well the boy found out through the class project he was not related to his adopted parents , now he is mad as hell at everyone.
Without the specifics I can't say whos more to blame , the parents or the school.
All parents need to ask their kids about school and what goes on, every day.

It is not the school's fault that your in-law's lack of honesty and decency caused the truth to hurt the poor kid. We lie to our kids as a society, and it causes untold harm. We should feel obligated to tell our kids the truth, and anyone who even tells a youngster that Santa Claus is real should be ashamed of themselves.

wait so the boy didn't know he was adopted? If he is in High school he should probably know because its more difficult to adjust when your older, even though im sure it doesn't matter to him. Or is it because the class knows? But then who cares he knows if he is adopted? I don't remember that being a problem in school as far as people making fun. But i guess american school are different

Originally posted by HenryPatrick
and anyone who even tells a youngster that Santa Claus is real should be ashamed of themselves.

WHAT Santa isn't real?

Originally posted by Bixxi3

Originally posted by HenryPatrick
and anyone who even tells a youngster that Santa Claus is real should be ashamed of themselves.

WHAT Santa isn't real?

i was also shocked to hear that when i grew up !

equally shocking was the Easter Bunny myth and especially,

the ultra-shock when i was told in no uncertain terms that Paul Bunyan's ox named "Babe".....

was also a fictional character !

en.wikipedia.org...

definitely a psychological disaster to say the least !


seriously, I agree that adopted children should be told at early ages.

School wants all the kids DNA?

So the kid found out he's adopted. Was bound to happen sooner or later.

But the school took all the kids DNA?

Is DNA cataloging so passe now that schools are collecting it from kids as it's just no big deal?

reply to post by OLD HIPPY DUDE


What school has the budget for DNA testing? So while they are cutting back class sizes, and laying off teachers, they can still afford to outsource ridiculous DNA testing? No highschool in the country has the lab equipment to do the complicated DNA screening process, so there is no scientific value to this project. If it was a statistical or sociological project, then they didn't need to pay all the money for DNA testing. The case in point is a little sad and disturbing, but the administration of the school approving this budget expenditure is even more disturbing!

Education Funding Cuts

Illinois cut school education funding by $311 million or 4 percent in its FY 2011 budget relative to FY 2010 levels. Cuts include a significant reduction in funding for student transportation and the elimination of a grant program intended to improve the reading and study skills of at-risk students from kindergarten through the 6th grade.

DNA testing at somewhere between $200 to $500 per student, with no real educational value?

A DNA test for paternity analysis costs somewhere in the region of $200.
If you require the test to be admissible in court, which is often required in cases of child support or disputed paternity, the costs go up. Some say to $500 or $600. (According to one FAQ Farmer: "I've just had a fully legally binding DNA test, following a dispute with my wife with regard to access to my 3 year old daughter. The test cost me nearly $500. I would have paid near half that if I didn't require a legally binding result.")
This additional cost is associated with the need to demonstrate a chain of custody for all of the samples tested. Before selecting a laboratory for testing there are a number of things one should consider, the most important being the quality of testing provided.
Some U.S. companies like DNACENTER.com offer a wide variety of tests that can be used in court or for personal knowledge. When ordering a test from an online company, always check their accreditation's or if they come recommended by media sources, like news and television.

WikiAnswers

Unless of course finding out that your mother is a cheater, or you are adopted, or breaking up a family is considered educational?

How bout they tell that kid to stop being such a whiner and accept that two people loved him enough for him to make it high school.

He could have been pulling silk cocoons out of boiling water for the last 10 years of his life, or sitting on a concrete floor forming the leather swoosh for nike shoes for 15 hours a day at 7 cents an hour.

reply to post by getreadyalready


i never thought about that. According to google it can cost around $200 if the test doesn't need to be admissible in court. Maybe they do it through a local university that has the testing equipment just waiting to be used?
Somethinga not right here

It's on the parents to be up front with the kid. They should have told him when he became an age where he could understand. Not only for the child's mental well being, but physical as well. What is the medical history of the birth parents? The kid could have gone into a hospital or a doctor and given them his adopted parents medical history and it would totally contradict his own. Bad situation that one.

When I was about 13 years old my youngest aunt decided to be cruel and take jabs. She made mention that I was a "bastard" and so on. I didn't believe it, then my grandmother who was caring for me said that I needed to speak with my mother. We spoke, and she told me that she never wanted me to know about my biological father.

I felt lied to by the people who loved me and I learned a modicum of distrust for her and my step father. I lashed out and said some hateful things and it lasted for quite a few years. The thing that pissed me off the most out of the whole thing was the cover up of it all, like it was swept under a rug like a dirty secret, like part of me was tainted because of this. It shatters your world view when done indelicately and not by the people who should be doing it.

I can sympathize with the kid.

Originally posted by Bixxi3

Originally posted by HenryPatrick
and anyone who even tells a youngster that Santa Claus is real should be ashamed of themselves.

WHAT Santa isn't real?

All Santa's are real, darnit!!

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by OLD HIPPY DUDE

 

What school has the budget for DNA testing?

The OP's post only mentions a "project" and not actual testing. Although, what the heck good is a DNA project IF there is no testing involved? What was the goal of the project?

To the OP, sounds like the folks never had the chat with their adoptive child. While a shame, this revelation would have come out sooner or later. The only thing the parents can hope for is that the kid will understand someday and forgive them for not being completely on the level.

reply to post by BiggyMcBigPants


For it to reveal he was adopted, they would have had to actually do the DNA test on him and both parents, and send the results to the school. There would have been a mountain of paperwork and release forms, and there would have had to have been a swab or a sample from all the parties involved.

Either the story is inaccurate, or this was a major and expensive "project."

reply to post by getreadyalready

Good point. Also just noticed the OP referred to the parents as his brother in law and wife... ummm, I don't know about the OP, but I always refer to my brother in law's wife as my sister.

Originally posted by BiggyMcBigPants
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

Good point. Also just noticed the OP referred to the parents as his brother in law and wife... ummm, I don't know about the OP, but I always refer to my brother in law's wife as my sister.

maybe it goes like this...

my wife's brother and his wife. ?

reply to post by xuenchen

Gah, I am HORRIBLE when it comes to extended family stuff. That could be right as you stated it.

Maybe the students conducted the tests themselves at low cost.

If the parents didn't want to reveal the truth, why did they provide their DNA samples for comparison to the student's?

OK you clowns, 1. my wifes brother and his wife.
2. I already said I don't know all the specifics , twice.
He is in bioligy class, what other way than a DNA test would tell him he's adopted ? (not related to his parents?)
3. The kid is 16, I guess you all had an easy time with life at that age (lucky you )
4. What age should a child be told they are adopted?
It isn't my kid, so its not my choice

reply to post by OLD HIPPY DUDE


reply to post by Tearman


I'm not blaming the kid for his reaction, or disputing your account of the situation, I'm just saying there is either something wrong with the story, or the school has blown a wad of money!

Biology students don't do chemistry experiments. DNA testing is an expensive and fairly complex chemistry experiment that would be more along the lines of a 3rd year college student in Chemistry.

Something I hadn't thought of.........perhaps they were doing projects on heridetary diseases and he happens to have something that would require two parent donors? Maybe he came across the realization that he was adopted by logical deduction and it wasn't DNA?

I have to supply my kids school with coffee filters,toliet paper,and printer paper. How can public schools afford DNA sideshows? I have to send a self addressed and stamped envelope to receive a report card!

A bunch of foolishness..

Originally posted by OLD HIPPY DUDE
Not sure where to post this so if it needs to be moved , OK.

My brother -in- law and his wife could not have children so they adopted a baby boy.
The boy is in H.S. now , and his science class was doing a DNA project involving every student and their parents.
I don't know all the specifics, and I would have asked questions as a parent. Well the boy found out through the class project he was not related to his adopted parents , now he is mad as hell at everyone.
Without the specifics I can't say whos more to blame , the parents or the school.
All parents need to ask their kids about school and what goes on, every day.

Someone in your family is either 1. lying or 2. severely confused or 3.you are not providing correct info.

DNA testing is expensive. And timely. Most law enforcement cannot obtain DNA results for crimes in a timely matter because labs are backed up due to funding (or lack thereof). Slowly. Very slowly those on death row are being exonerated due to DNA testing. But it is very costly and timely The fact that a school could afford to have DNA testing for each student in the class is highly unlikely. I would love to know what school and something backing this story up - such as a school website with the announcement of such a project (example)

Next either the parents are complete idiots or someone is fibbing. So for 16 years of this child's life they never had the guts to sit him down and tell him the truth. Yet, the voluntarily submit DNA from themselves and their child to have tested through the school and did not expect the truth would come out?

If this is all true, you need to blame your relatives for being ignorant. Allegedly they chose for their child to find out. You tell people to ask their kids about school and what goes on, yet your relatives knew exactly what was going to happen.

Yes, not enough information therefore making the story pretty much null and void. I would suggest calling them up and getting the story straight and then come back and tell us how the school screwed up and the parents are completely innocent of screwing things up for their child. Because as the story stands now. The parents were absolutely ignorant and irresponsible.