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Evil Genius

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posted on Aug, 10 2004 @ 11:28 PM
Whenever I watched scifi movies as a kid, I always identified with the evil genius archetype. The whole delusions of Grandeur was a major thrill for me. I was not particularly a cast-out in school, but I did feel out of place.

I was more interested in Darth Vader, Ming, Beloch, and other evil geniuses than I ever was in the heroes.

Here are some of my aims from childhood fantasies:

- Cause the wearing of capes by men to become fashionable again.

- Return to my hometown and drive down mainstreet commanding the lead vehicle in a column of tanks.

- Move the capital of America to the geographic center of the landmass.

- Hold court like an Emperor, with captured prisoners present, dancing girls, royal advizers, etc.

- Put my image on the money during my lifetime.

- Be the first American leader to be given an epithet, such as "the Merciless," "the Terrible," "The Dreadful" or suchlike.

- Have secret police who are incongruously dressed in really cool black uniforms.

- Name a major holiday after myself.

Oh yeah, picture my ex-girlfriend in a bikini, on a length of chain which is tied to my footstool. (O.K. I came up with that when I was 13; please don't mention that to Frau Dr.).

any others from the peanut gallery?

posted on Aug, 10 2004 @ 11:35 PM
That's awesome. If I ruled the world, I would...oh wait, I already do!

posted on Aug, 11 2004 @ 12:23 AM
I once had (and still do) an extremely in depth plan to conquer the world, it basically involved me wiping out most of the human race by melting the ice caps... i had a goverment system and social structure all planned out, even the lay out of my capital city and everything... basically the theory was i wouldnt be able to ubdue 6 billion people so i figured i kill most of them and any survivors would either be prepared for it as i have selected them, or would be completely unprepared and i could conquer them quickly... the plan is still there, i'm just working on funding it

posted on Aug, 11 2004 @ 12:31 AM

Originally posted by specialasianX
I once had (and still do) an extremely in depth plan to conquer the world, it basically involved me wiping out most of the human race by melting the ice caps... i had a goverment system and social structure all planned out, even the lay out of my capital city and everything... basically the theory was i wouldnt be able to ubdue 6 billion people so i figured i kill most of them and any survivors would either be prepared for it as i have selected them, or would be completely unprepared and i could conquer them quickly... the plan is still there, i'm just working on funding it

Well once my plan to conquer MicroSoft goes through ill have Bill Gates riches. If you let me be a survivor and be among your elite, ill be happy to fund your little venture there.

[Edited on 11-8-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

posted on Aug, 11 2004 @ 02:26 AM
Dreamlandmafia, your in... i have already cited many fellow ATS users which would survive... i'm just not letting them know unitll the time comes... look out dfor the thread titled

'I will rule the world the following will survive'

All i need is some money and nukes...

P.S there will be no advanced warning or ransom demands just in case someone tries to stop me

posted on Aug, 11 2004 @ 08:00 AM
Specialasian, that's an interesting plan;

Mine involves cheap energy by developing an unorthodox fuel system for electricity generation. If my energy is cheap and clean enough, I won't need a massive depopulation: People desperate for clean, cheap energy will indulge my every whim as long as I promise to make them rich.

Part of my reason for doing it this way is to maintain my standard of living. In a collapsed civilization there are too many things even an emperor would be forced to do without; things like martinis and swimming pools, the internet and italian food, sedation dentistry and satelite TV.

posted on Aug, 11 2004 @ 08:01 AM
Tho I might consider you for a high ranking role in the secret police, based on your soaring craftiness. Do you look good in black????

posted on Aug, 16 2004 @ 01:15 AM
since no one is posting here but me, I can use this as sort of a semi-private blog.

Here's some stuff I'd like to do as emperor.

-Everybody goes into govt. service on their 18th birthday. The best 10% go into officer training in the military. The next 10% go into emergency response. The 10% below that become police auxiliary. The rest can enlist in the military, or work in civilian construction corp.

-I'd have a national citizenship test. No one is born a citizen, you only become one AFTER serving in the military as an officer, the police, or emergency response. And fill out a multiple choice exam about our nation. Prove you can read the official language.

-Cities would be in charge of local defense. They'd be encouraged to produce their own food and utilities as well. I'd put walls around city sections, to decrease crime and rioting.

-No more than 10% of a TV program could be commercials. people would pay more attention to 'em, if they were rarer.

-No more high school or college football. What a school spends on turf and stadium lighting each year would fund a foreign language department for a decade or so.

-promote school sports that emphasize individual excellence: Fencing, chess, running. All cheap stuff.

-Legalize and formalize dueling, especially to replace libel/slander lawsuits. That'd cut the crap.

-Legalized OVERT carry of firearms by citizens who's gun has been ID'd and registered. (An old texan who lived to be 103 once told me that when he was a kid, every man carried a gun, even in the grocery. He told me, "I never even heard of a man being called a s-- of a b---- until 1925!)

-Tort Reform: Loser pays.

-toughen up the driver's test, and up the driving age to 18. The 16-18 year old driver is a huge source of auto accidents.

-Top speed for trucks is 65 hwy, 55 city. Any road that is straight for more than 5 miles has no speed limit (except for trucks).

-Every 4 years, instead of an election, I'd have an trans-national stock car race, from NY to San Diego. Registered contestants have right of way on all roads. Ties to be settled by duel (in cars).

-Move the nation's Capitol to the Kansas/Nebraska border. The Imperial palace would be the center of govt.

- A flat tax, averaging together all the rates paid by the population, to equal the current national revenue.

-All income is taxed at the same rate, regardless of source; whether inheritance, stock dividends, or wages, it's all one rate. Now we can LOWER the flat tax, since I've just done away with the biggest useless federal bureacracy. Of course we'll have to up the spending for law enforcement, so my secret police can round up dissadent ex-I.R.S. employees. . .

-All Imperial courts sentence convicts to days of labor. If you don't want to work on a given day, for any reason, fine. But it's not coming off of your sentence, either.

-Prisoners grow their own food, haul their own water. They can Improve the prison by building moats and stuff. No air conditioning. A solitary cell for every prisoner---so there's none of that "Midnight Express" stuff, either.

-Maximum 'live' sentence would be ten years of labor. Anything worse than that, execute em. By hanging, because gravity is a a renewable resource.

-Oh yeah, we'd go back to having titles of nobility, too. Dukes and earls and such. So that people would be recognized for something besides money, sex and celebrity.

-A court jester. She'd need to be naked, as well as funny.

posted on Aug, 17 2004 @ 10:37 PM
Ya know, things have really degenerated a great deal since the Enlightenment, as far as fashion is concerned.

Time was, a nation's leader sat on a giant chair while everone else stood up. The leader wore a distinctive hat, and carried some kind of golden cudgel, just so you knew who was the boss.

Nowadays, our kings and presidents walk around in business suits. It really galls me. No wonder no one respects the poor saps. They are wearing neckties. A necktie is basically a noose around your neck. Who can respect a leader who's already wearing the noose?

And the military. Come on. Those fatigues may be useful, but they make everyone look like they're running around fighting battles in camaflage PAJAMAS! Baggy means sloppy: "Hi, we're here to invade you. Are there any cartoons on? Got any poptarts?"

Buncha crap. I'd throw rocks at anyone came into my country and wanted to run it while dressed like they were about to read me a bedtime story.

And even the old green uniform. It was like a bad liesure suit. Take a close look at Saddam or Castro. They don't look like guys who could change my motor oil, much less stand up to a superpower. All Castro needs is a little oval patch on his shirt that says "Murray" and "ASE Certified" and you'd give him a tip for not getting grease on your seatcovers.

At least the South Americans TRY. With the oversize epaulets, the chest of ribbons the size of a license plate, the milk-man hats. They look like they're taking fashion advice from Michael Jackson. But at least there is an attempt to look like somone who could f up your day. Venezuela's leader is a good example. Compare that with either John Kerry OR George Bush. Those two look like junior advertising executives. Which they are, come to think of it.

A Leader should look like one. And not just in the face. Saddam's miserable attempt to copy Stalin was embarrasing. No, a leader needs distinctive headgear, like Il Duce's helmet, or Nero's laurel wreath, or the Crown of St. Stephen. There ought to be something worth genuflecting for.

I mean C'mon, even the pope looks more like a leader than Blair or Chirac. Those two look like assistant undertakers, not world leaders.

Or Kim Il Jung. He looks like a gay elvis-impersonating beautician. At least Ho Chi Minh could look sinister when he needed to.

I promise that, upon my ascension to the throne, There will be distinctive hats for every rank of government and religious leader. And I, I will be the best dressed of them all. I will not let you down. I will never appear in anything but ermine robes, or Klingon-general style uniforms. When I must resort to oppressing you, I promise to be well heeled, and to at least perfrom my lugubrious duties with a hint of style.

This is my solemn vow.

posted on Aug, 17 2004 @ 11:41 PM
I don't know how I missed this for so long.

I like what you've done with the tyranny, but still need improvement Strangecraft.

Items such as:

1. Riding in front of a collumn of tanks. Tanks! How...blase. Uninspired. Whatever happened to tower, four-story mechanical walkers armed with all sorts of laser or laser subsitute weaponry? Missile racks? What about power-armored infantry, at least? And an emperor rides some sort of armored elephant.

2. On the topic of fashion: What ever happened to battle standards? They need to make a comeback. Not jsut for the legions which enforce your rule, but for the nobles who you will play inevitable powergames with!

3. Employment: Construction is a cheap source of labor almost anyone can do. Now, you jsut need ot point them in the right direction- like monolithic palaces and underground bases. You'll never have to worry about unemployment if you build somethign the size of the Palace at Arakeen!

4. Gladitorial games. Get twenty people into a hand to hand fight to the deaht, and then release soem sort of vicious exotic animal on it. On the topic of exotic animals, there are plenty of places in the world that could be arbitrarily depopulated and turned into game preserves. For instance, Kentucky could be inhabitted solely by elephants.

5. Some sort fo strict , hierachical set of rules codified by a mythic past. We simply don't have enough rites of Trials of stuff anymore.

6. Indentured minions. People who succeed in life should become full-time minions and/or stooges. Don't know what you want to do after college? Join up, and become an Imperial Toady!

Jsut a few suggestion for your personal paradise.


posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 01:15 AM
Deus Ex:

You, my friend, are obviously the product of superior breeding.

Yes, I left out all references to future weapons, because the very idea of "Government by spectacle" is more than most of our poor readers can cogitate. No reason to embarrass them with even more thoughts they cannot grasp.

But you are on the right track.

-Monuments. That's what everyone remembers Herod for. (aside from his theocidal tendencies). We need a megalithic mentality, something to really drive the economy in a predictable direction. Building your tomb should not take them more than a century or two, what with modern earthmoving equipment and reinforced concrete. Pyramids have been done to death, in my opinion. How about an earthen cone visible from space. In the center of a complex clock-face many miles across, that predicts eclipses and whatnot. Built to stand for millennia. Something they will remember you for, FOREVER.

-Of course battle standards; I had almost included a college of heraldry in an earlier post. Heraldry taken to the extreme, where use of a noble's arms without his/her consent is punishable by branding. That'd cut out the copyright infringements. And if even showing your arms with out your permission was a branding offense, it would keep Entertainment Tonight from following you everywhere.

-Gladiatorial combat. Excellent. Instead of battling large carnivores, howabout condemned criminals fighting for their lives vs. death-dealling robots??? Perhaps to slay a mechanical dragon?

-Do elephants like Kentucky? That is just inspired. The really great megalomaniacs of history always did the arbitrary depopulation thing. Stalin, Darius, Tammerlane. You can also build up an area by placing something important in an otherwise uninviting spot. Moving Harvard University to Evansville, Alaska for example. Or giving Bucksnort, Tennessee its own professional football team. (The Dept. of the Army actually used this policy for locating military forts in the 19th cent.)

-The strict heirarchical rules ought to involve a lot of blood-oaths and revenge for ceremonial insult. A cross between cosa nostra and bushido, with a good measure of Hatfields and Mcoys, plus Corleones, thrown in. Oh yeah, something expensive and ridiculously difficult to master. horsemanship, for example. Or fencing. Or hand crafting your own motorcycle.

-Knightly orders, which can only be attained by risking your life in a real way. Killing a bear with a bowie knife, that kind of thing. And no weapons limitations on them or their entourage. You'd definitely know when an earl went shopping at the mall!

My whole theory with this thread is that people only demand democracy when their leaders seem uninspired. After ridding themselves of George III, the colonists were ready to make George Washington their first king.

And why? because being governed well takes a measure of gravitas, not a focus group.

Who else will join us?

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 04:28 PM
Know what I hate? Paper money. Any bozo can put their face on paper money. You get put on a coin, you're immortal. So, I would hereby abolish all forms of paper money. I would never again loose bling when the Most Imperial High Laundry was done. That, and counterfitting would be a lot harder.

As for one's final resting place, what about some sort of giant obelisk, or perhaps a ziggurat? No one has done a really nice ziggurat in years. Something with a waterfall in it. Your final resting place has to be awe AND terror inspiring.

as for minions, not nearly enough has been said about minions. Who is more memorable in Bond films... the villains, or their hired help?

Jaws. Oddjob. Xenia.

Emperors need eccentric hired help, such as eight foot tall cyber-enhanced bodyguards, or midget ninja assasins. When people hear you name, they ought to tremble at the wrath of your thugs!


posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 07:14 PM
Logan's Run

Okay, more than two for now.

I'm fond of the Yin & Yang aspects of building up and tearing down. So that whether you're digging the hole, or filling it the next's the journey that gives you purpose, not the destination.

Having said that, I think people should have to build their own homes with an eye for defense, since I'd bring back sacking Castles for fun and profit.

I've been fascinated with Jim Bishop for a while. He's been building his own castle by hand in Colorado Springs for over 30 years. And he's doing okay...

But I find he lacks the sort of inspiration he'd get by me moving in next door with catapults. To be fair about it, I'd probably just start building my own stronghold before attacking. Make it more interesting.

And that's what's lacking in suburbia now. Danger. Not the random violence of hand gun crime or mailbox vandalism, I'm talking about organized all out strategic assaults on your clan.

I'd like to think though that even the victims would get a kick out of it, as a properly built home offers towers to urinate off of while screaming bring your slings and arrows, the Lord of the Castle is ready.

Something I practice on the roof now.

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 07:51 PM
Dr Strangecraft, if i heard correct you offered me a high ranking position? Well yes i do look good in black, as long as i get to wear a leather jacket... and dark glasses...

If my plan suceeds however you will be offered a high ranking position in the government... i would post the plan in detail but i am really really busy at work at the moment

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 08:36 PM

Originally posted by specialasianX
i would post the plan in detail but i am really really busy at work at the moment

Always a good idea to not disclose your secret plans for world domination at work.
Never be honest when asked about your long range goals or for an evaluation of management. Also never call a board meeting drunk. No matter how cool it seems like it would be at the time, it really isn't.

It's amazing how a few beers can derail a perfectly fine plan to topple the status quo.

In that line of thinking, start small in choosing your nemesis. But not too small. Let the nemesis speak to your own character and ultimate ambitions. If, for example, your only aspiration is to be known as the guy with the ferret then roller blade guy is a perfectly fine nemesis. Because let's face it. He's annoying. And taking him down just leaves more room for your ferret toting thunder.

Obviously my secret strategy may appear less than obvious or totally uninspired on the face of it, but I assure you heads will roll. Eventually.

I'm not your totalitarian brand of evil genius. I'm from the Illuminati school of thought. So my heros would then be both Deepthroat and Ford, assuming they are one in the same (as I would have done it).

I seek only to make everyone equally miserable, blaming everyone but me, while I remain invisible. It would be an honor then to incite all the evil geniuses in this thread against each other supplying arms, propaganda and my full support to each...from a safe distance.

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 10:07 PM
. . . have been the death of me.

Here are a couple more ideas for the "Government by Spectacle" that several of you have inspired:

- The New National Anthem involves both alpenhorns AND fireworks.

- more dramatic punishments for minor offenses. Illegally parked cars are impounded. With an actual sledgehammer, distributed by the police to random passers-by.

As far as Rant's comments, you are definitely on to something. The question I have for you is this: how do we codify the seige experience so that it is not haphazard, or doesn't include those who don't want to play (or, in other words, how do we make everyone play?)

How about this: get rid of trial by jury. Each neighborhood gets an elder or petty noble, who takes your complaint to the council of nobles. Together they decide from among several options:

drop the case

trial by ordeal

trial by individual combat

our neighborhood is allowed to besiege your neighborhood.

the perp runs the gauntlet.

This was actually the way justice was dealt in many Arab communities until about 20 years ago. It's inexpensive, and a neighborhood (actually a large family or small clan) hands over guilty perps in order to avoid a bloodbath. When everyone has 40 uncles armed with daggers, you tend to think about the consequences of your actions.

Dueling clans sounds like a new spin on weekend warriors, alright.

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 10:31 PM
My plan is more of a big brother situation, i wont let the people know that it was in fact me that caused the waters to rise, i would spin some myth of evil make me out to be the saviour... i would be the High Eupharophnix but no-one would know who i am only that i am, and that my word is final... there owuld be slight democratic elements involved as well, but mainly for show

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 10:42 PM

Originally posted by dr_strangecraft
The question I have for you is this: how do we codify the seige experience so that it is not haphazard, or doesn't include those who don't want to play (or, in other words, how do we make everyone play?)

I think two concepts are important. One that it's predominantly for "sport" in both attaining higher levels in society and knocking down your competition and Two...that mercy is highly acclaimed virture.

So a series of exhibitions should be funded. Perhaps college instruction in the art of Siege. Then phase II would include planned communities for "enthusiasts" it spreads in phase III, that's where the concept of imposing gentlemans rules of conduct come in.

Perhaps even commmunity enforced like your trial idea. A poorly planned or particularly brutal siege should incur the wrath of neighbors I'd imagine. Otherwise, a nice boulder through the front wall deserves a "good show" from even the besieged.

The idea isn't so much to kill anyone, as to keep them building. And building and building.
I also like reinforcing the idea that property is temporary. Nothing to cry over. Like capture the flag between neighbors.

Cites should have unique flags too that can be captured in giant on-going national capture the flag contests. This is that city rivalry idea. I regret I have but one life to give for the glory of Birmingham. Well done Sir.

posted on Aug, 19 2004 @ 06:55 AM

Originally posted by specialasianX
My plan is more of a big brother situation, i wont let the people know that it was in fact me that caused the waters to rise, i would spin some myth of evil make me out to be the saviour...

I like this as it speaks to the burocratic need for single sourcing both problems and solutions. My sought after constant state of flux would rely heavily on advertising in this regard. My preferred method for behavior modification: printing coupons on the back of grocery store receipts. Don't smoke? Here's a coupon for cigararettes. Smoke? Here's a coupon for nicotine patches.

I'd also incorporate the use of Internet Pop Ups for denoting a sense of urgency to the masses regarding the minutia of Senatorial procedure.

All sitcom casting would go through me. Over the course of a generation, I'd like to plant the seed that the fatter you are the cooler you are. For guys anyway. I see excellent syndication opportunitues from my spinoff Fat Fonzie.

And through the inspiration of petey_pongo23, I've identifed my inaugural cabinet.

I need help from anyone with an eye for latin in motto translation? (Dr?)

I'm sick of Essence over Appearance (assuming that's what Esse Quam Videri means), which goes against everything I stand for (or would appear to).

How about Change, not Progress or Stability through Flux...either of which would be replaced with the slogan You don't change a Horseman mid apocolypse immediately upon my coronation.

My favorite Evil Strangecraft proposal so far is moving the Capital to the geographic center of the landmass, but I'm wondering if it would behoove me to tell anyone. I'd like the opportunity to change my mind. Or preferably make the Captial more of a floating Island for obvious reasons. I think once the intended impact of the random destruction of family strongholds has taken root in the property weary psyche of my Newmericans, I'd seek to make a much more transient mobile society. Everything on wheels. Except large multinational corporations which would be housed in awe inspiring towers of self sustained residential, commercial and business headquarters. They won't need wheels, as the buildings themselves would be able to relocate by jet propulsion to where the cheap labor is.

Maritime rules would apply to any corporate or residential entities that can hover two-thirds of the year. No taxes for air nomads. Eventually, I'd like to see the land masses of the planet overgrown and declared a national game preserve for hunting "walkabouts."

I also see the need to spread chain mail regarding the Truth about Land Sharks in order to get people's feet off the ground as soon as possible. Yes, it's all coming together. As soon as they start walking on furniture I've got them right where I want them.

SpecialAsian if your goal is Waterworld we may have something to discuss.

posted on Aug, 19 2004 @ 07:13 AM
My plan to overthrow Microsoft will come to full swing soon. Soon meaning in the next 5 years
. I will be overtake Microsoft by craftily making my way up the ranks of the corporate ladder and becoming 2nd in command. (My way of doing this will be kept a secret for obvious reasons
) Then as Im in a meeting with Bill Gates and the other heads I will use my already acquired millions and send in my special forces team and "eliminate" Gates. Not before I force him to write me into his Will giving me all his Billions. Then I will make his death look like suicide. Ill pay off the cops to just drop the investigation and just let it be. I will have ~80$ Billion to fund whatever endeavors SpecialAsianX decides upon.


As for the future of Microsoft? It will be overhauled and all the programmers that created WindowsME will be SHOT...execution style. All the .NET Framework and Trusted Computing will be eliminated. The price of Windows shall be cut 75% so people can stop pirating it and afford it. Our copy protection will be severe. 3 Installs per Serial Number. Anymore and youll have a bullet put in your head. The next version of Windows will be built with hidden subliminal messages to control the populace into doing our bidding. With every update I will change the messages to make them do as I please. Updates are mandatory, or Windows wont work. That will make it so people HAVE to recieve my messages. With this we shall control the world and we can even make them commit mass suicide. EVERYBODY WILL BE UNDER MY CONTROL!!!


Of course for funding any such world takeovers I ask for Alaska as a land of my own to govern, but still under your rule.

[Edited on 19-8-2004 by dreamlandmafia]

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