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Beat the stock market! (works best if you know how to conspire)

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posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 06:57 PM
First off it should be noted that this really only works if you are already filthy stinking rich, but when you're rich what else is there to do other than get richer?

Alrighty so you're a rather wealthy philanthropist, perhaps you made a fortune selling cheap mass produced steel? Let's get even RICHER! Step one, buy GOLD! Step two, you and your wealthy friends hire a few poor fellows to go hit up a number of banks complaining, LOUDLY, that they didn't have enough money on hand to fill the requested withdrawal. One thing leads to another and whammo the stock market crashes. Well that really sucks for a bunch of people, luckily you saw it coming and had your money in gold which, by the way, is appreciating in value YAY!

Righteo, now that everyone is poorer you've got quite a bit of sway you savvy investor you. So let's make sure we invest that money wisely. Invest in fertilizer you say? Hmmm, I have something different in mind. How about we invest that money into a militant, yet charismatic, political hopeful in a beaten and beleaguered country? Oh I dunno, how about Germany off the top of my head.

Okay, now that we've purchased a rather angry and impressionable mind, bought him an election too, what are we to do with these newly acquired assets? Take whatever you got left and pull it out of gold and put it into DEFENSE, probably a variety of other dirt cheap stocks as well since they all cost practically nothing. You probably see where I'm going here, YEAH LETS START A WAR, a BIG one! Sit back and watch the green roll in.

Well done you're richer than your wildest dreams. Now what? GET RICHER!

With your newly acquired riches buy one or more of the following:
-News Paper
-TV station
-Radio station
-Anything that can capture the publics attention

Hire a few fellows that are willing to do whatever for a buck, although they probably look trustworthy. Here are your talking heads. You've got plenty of these guys, some are gonna just put whatever they can into the public's eye so the they have something to look at, other than you that is. The others are going to be your stock advisors. No no, not advisors to YOU, advisors to the public watching the tube.

These guys need to be trustworthy so to start out have them advise their viewers to invest in whatever, doesn't matter what as long as after they advise to buy YOU and friends purchase that very same stock driving up the price. Repeat a few times and blam your stock advisors are now a trustworthy source. From here on out buy a stock and then have your stock advisors recommend that stock to their viewers. Thousands of those viewers will buy the stock driving up the price making every one of your stock picks a winner!

Rinse and repeat...

As a side note, the world is a slightly different place now so the repeat doesn't need to be exactly the same. For instance, you don't really need to hire a few people to go out and slander banks in person, you've got TV personalities to do that for you now. Better yet those personalities are already quite trustworthy, they say a stock is going to drop, then their viewers drop that stock causing it's price to go down. Wow your advisors were right, then again didn't they cause the drop?

posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 07:00 PM
I have a summer program where I get to play a game that stimulates stock trading. So I would be doing that in a mock way.

posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 07:03 PM
And that is a little summary of most of the elite of today. Pretty disgusting and sad isn't it, how people's lives are valued by numbers instead of compassion? ...

edit on 6/30/2011 by Conspiracy Now because: (no reason given)

posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 07:19 PM
You definetly have to HAVE money in order to make money in the stock market unless you just get lucky. They get in and get out just skimming off the top when the time is right, and of course they usually know when that is.

posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 07:46 PM
reply to post by Conspiracy Now

Meh, we live in a dog eat dog world, they're just playin' the game to the best of their ability. Personally if I were wealthy I'd sink my cash into making the world a better place, but I'm probably alone on that one.

You gotta admit, when you're livin' the wealthy life like that you're a back stabbing SOB. Problem is, all of your closest friends are too...

posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 07:58 PM
reply to post by Symbiot

You know what the scary thing is?

You're not far off describing how the mess we are in actually happened...


posted on Jun, 30 2011 @ 08:22 PM
reply to post by Lightrule

I wouldn't say this post describes how we got into this mess. This fire's been burnin' for a long long time. We didn't start it, fueled the flames probably, but whatever.

Perhaps there's someone out there that knows how to do a little rain dance.

posted on Aug, 15 2011 @ 05:13 PM
So now you know the market is rigged. So what? What will you do?

Do you go down to the farm and tell the animals the farmer is rigging their lives? He is breeding them, raising them, fattening them, and then slaughtering them for YOUR benefit. Now if you go down to the farm and open the gates and let all the animals out, then you will have a hard time getting food and surviving. So what are you going to DO?

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