Ok, I have had this same thing happening to me. I've read this entire thread. Those of you insisting that this is tinnitus... it is most definitely
not. I've gone to many doctors and even therapists and been tested and have no medical conditions or infections that could be causing this.
I'm going to post an email that I've been sending out trying to get someone to help me with all of this, so far unsuccessfully. It's very long, but
you need to know some of my history to understand. I hope that someone can help me soon. I'm just about to completely give up finding help with this.
All I'm sure of is that I can't keep living like this anymore.
***NOTE: Please reply to this email ASAP so that I know you received it. I have concrete proof and government first-hand witnesses that my
emails are being blocked and intercepted!***
This will be a very long message and for that I’m sorry. I’m at my wits end trying to find help with this.
I’ve sent out many emails like this and no one is helping me. I’m just going to copy and paste the email for you so I don’t have to
type it all out again. There is much more than what I will tell you in this email that I won’t yet mention because I’m sure you don’t want to
read a book.
I just recently learned that the director of the MKULTRA psychotronics experiments was Army Lt Col Thomas Bearden and that I’m likely
related to him. My grandfather was named Horace Bearden and he was also in the Army. He was a high level Mason. My uncle was CIA. My sister is FBI. My
mother has been divorced for many years and won’t take her maiden name of Bearden back. All of this is starting to make sense now to me and I need
Please either email me here or call me at (Edited). Thank you.
A very good friend of mine with DID just referred me to this site. Thank you for having it, because I'm having a very hard time finding a somewhere
reliable to get help.
I am diagnosed with DID, among many other things, but only recently has everything started falling into place for me to start seeing what happened
(and is happening) to me.
I'll just post a recent email that I've sent out to several people and organizations, out of which I received only one reply and that was just a
sales pitch to buy a book. To be honest, I'm frustrated and afraid. I don't know what to do. Please take a look at this email and tell me what you
think. Thank you.
Sent: Tuesday, June 14, 2011 10:26 PM
Subject: URGENT - Please I need to talk to you ASAP
First off I want to assure that I'm not insane or just some nut looking for attention or to cause problems. I know that you probably get fruitcakes
coming out of the woodwork claiming to be MKULTRA victims, but I assure you that I'm not one of them, even though I know what I have to tell you will
certainly make most label me insane.
Please, I need your help ASAP. I am desperate to find help with this. I have a psychiatrist who I just got home seeing today. When I told him about
this, he agreed with me about it, but he can't help me nor does he know anyone who can. I just found you on Google.
I have evidence that highly suggests that I am an MKULTRA victim. I would very much appreciate it if you would contact me about this as soon as you
can and at your convenience, or provide me with a phone number and I will call you. My contact info is on my signature below.
I was born in 1965. I am 45 years old and have had a VERY traumatic and abusive life. Way too many things have happened to me to even start to type
out in an email.
My sister is FBI and my uncle was CIA. His father, my grandfather, was a high level Mason. Now I know why my uncle always seemed so distant and cold
towards me on the rare occasions I would see him. My mother was married several times and some were in the military.
I've known all my life that "something" has been wrong with me, but I never could put my finger on exactly what it was until just a couple of days
ago. I've been to countless doctors and have been diagnosed with many things, all of which I have "some" of the symptoms of, but none were an
all-encompassing diagnosis. One of them was Dissociative Identity Disorder. I've been prescribed countless medications, none of which work to help me
I was just watching the video of a speech made by Cathy O'Brien on Youtube and I just got through 2 of the 7 parts and I had to stop and find out how
to contact you and write this.
I've been on a life long search to find out what's wrong with me and I never had any success until now. I was on a forum the other day and someone
posted something about MKULTRA there. I already had heard about it a long time ago, but never paid it much attention. But when I was reading through
the thread, several things started clicking with me, so I reread it more carefully. Some people had put together lists of "indicators" that would
show if you were a victim of that. I have 29 out of 33 given. I realize they probably were not given by professionals, but they were logical and
applicable. So, I started placing the parts of my life that I can remember in context with MKULTRA and the more I learned about it and the more I
compared my life to that, suddenly EVERYTHING fell into place! This is EXACTLY what happened to me!
I was taken away from my father when I was 2 and was taken all over the world it seemed by my mother. She would leave me with people I didn't know
for days, weeks and sometimes months at a time. These people would do bad things to me. I was terrified of them.
Let me list just some of the things I remember:
I was shut in some small completely dark room for a long time and being hungry and afraid.
I was held down and given so many injections I couldn't count. I remember several of them having to hold me down because I would struggle and fight
They put a cage over my bed.
I remember vivid colors and bright lights.
I remember all kinds of tests; cards with stars and squares on them.
I remember a lot of pain and utter humiliation in many different ways.
I was made to consume chemicals of various kinds. Drink dishwashing liquid, lots of castor oil, eat a jar of jalapenos and then drink the juice, etc.
If I refused I was beaten.
They set both of my arms and hands on fire with lighter fluid and laughed at me as I ran around screaming and trying to find a way to put the fire
They made me get into very painful positions and stay like that for very long periods of time and if I moved or complained I was beaten.
They would not let me go to the bathroom when I had to go, so I ended up urinating and defecating in my pants, when I had them on.
They would make me fight other children. If I didn't, I would be punished.
I remember animals being tortured and killed.
I remember children and numbers and robots and computers.
There is so much more, but it's all so fragmented.
Those are just SOME of the things I've been through.
I hardly ever dream at all. It's like when I go to sleep, seconds pass and it's time to get up. My wife said she could carry on conversations with
me in my sleep. I didn't believe her until she recorded it one night. She would say things and I would answer her. One of the things we talked about
was robots eating children. When I do dream, which is maybe 2 or 3 times a year, they're always nightmares, and they're generally always the same.
I'm either under some castle kind of place. It's dimly lit and something is after me. I'm running, but I never get very far, because I'm running
in this sand-like substance that gets thicker and harder to move through as I progress; or I'm literally flying all over the place like a bird of
prey. That's it, never anything else.
I would flail and sleepwalk, so she suggested I have a sleep study, which I did for 2 nights. The head of the center brought me the results himself
because he said something was there that he couldn't explain. One of my brainwaves that is supposed to be mostly inactive during sleep was so active
it was off the chart. He said that it was about a 100 times more active than a "normal" person. He said in effect, I never sleep at all. My body
rests, but my brain never rests. We went no further because they could not help me.
I started self-mutilating a few years ago unconsciously, both awake and asleep. I tear my fingers and toes apart until they bleed. Now for the past
several months I've had this loud, intense and very high pitched squeal in my head that never stops. If you remember, it sounds just like one of
those old tube TV's in a very quiet room with the volume all the way down. That very high frequency squeal. It's not tinnitus. I personally believe
these things are like some kind of punishment for getting to the truth. The closer I get, the worse they become. Now it's unbearable and I'm afraid,
and I'm no coward.
I have long memory lapses in my life. I don't remember anything. It comes and goes in "spurts". The things I do remember are never good. I have
absolutely no sense of time at all.
I am constantly doing what I've always called "zoning out". I used to could not control it, but the older I get, the more I can control it. It
still happens involuntarily, but I also do it at will. I just "leave" myself and go somewhere else. I do it in the middle of conversations, while
driving, anywhere at any time. Most of the time people can't even tell I even did it. Sometimes it lasts a few seconds and sometimes much longer.
I've had several near death experiences that just seemed to happen for no real reason. I'm not suicidal at all. I just have done some things in my
past that I have no idea as to why. One of them was a very serious car crash. I won't need to explain what happened to me in great detail, because
Ms. O'Brien described it EXACTLY in part 2 of 7 in her speech on Youtube! The "leaving my body and watching myself from above and behind myself".
It was exactly like that! I will never forget it. Another time I fell off an 80 foot cliff and landed on my head and shoulders. Another time I had a
game dart go into my left eye and was driven into my head all the way to the feathers when I ran into the opposite wall due to shock (running
I never could make any sense of any of this until I went to that forum the other day and paid attention to what was said. Then finding out I have 29
of 33 indicators given that I am a victim of MKULTRA. Suddenly EVERYTHING fell right into place and it all makes sense to me now. I know this is what
it has to be.
This email is much longer than I intended for it to be, but I felt that I had to give you some details so you'll know that I'm serious about what
I'm telling you.
I can't deal with this alone very much longer. It's seriously getting to me and is literally affecting my health. It has destroyed my family. My
wife had a heart attack 2 weeks ago and now she's divorcing me.
So, please get in touch with me as soon as you can.
Johnny-Jack wrote: “You probably won't find any experts on that misguided secretive program here, but there are plenty of fellow sufferers of
Yes, I'm having a very hard time finding help with this anywhere.
This was the response I got from Cathy O'Brien, who was also a victim of MKULTRA:
Your situation sure sounds legit to me! And given the stability of your request and what you have remembered thus far, it is only a matter of 'time'
until you move into full awareness and heal fully."
Una+ wrote: “Dr. Colin Ross, an authority on DID, has a book about the connection between MKULTRA and DID. See
Much of what you describe could be symptoms of DID. So it may be a good idea to get an assessment by a specialist psychotherapist with expertise in
diagnosing and treating DID. Do you want help locating one?”
Thanks for referring me to this book. I will get it, but as I just told another friend of mine, I feel that I need personal help from a doctor that
deals with MKULTRA victims. I don't need to read a book that tells me about it.
Yes, please by all means, if you know a doctor who handles MKULTRA/DID victims, please refer me to one. I'm having a very hard time finding one.
Also, I have major trust issues. Even while I'm actively looking for help, I'm fully aware of another part of me that's actively trying to prevent
me from getting that help. This is so frustrating and has nearly destroyed me. It has already destroyed my family and now all of my friends are
Thanks for your reply.
“PLEASE, What is this sound?!”
I’ve been reading the messages in this group for a while now and I’ve heard about different people hearing different sounds. They usually say that
they hear these sounds right before a switch. I am posting this message in hopes that someone will recognize what I’m about to describe and can help
me determine what it is.
For many months now, I’ve been having this constant sound in my head. It never stops, day and night, and it is about to drive me crazy.
It’s an extremely high pitched monotone sound. The best way I can describe it is like this, if you’re old enough to remember this. It’s like if
you’ve ever been in a very quiet room with one of those old tube-type TV’s that’s turned on, but the volume is turned all the way down. You’ll
hear a very high pitched monotonous electronic “squeal”. It’s just like that, electronic sounding. Another way to try to describe it is that it
must be what a dog hears from a dog whistle, maybe even a higher pitch.
Nothing I do will make this sound stop. It is louder than any sound I encounter throughout the day. It’s not any form of medical hearing disorder
such as tinnitus, etc, as I’ve already been to the doctor about this. They don’t know what it is or how to treat it.
I have my suspicions as to what it might be, but I’m not positive. I’m an MKULTRA victim. I found out that my great uncle was the director of
several MKULTRA subprojects, one of which is called “psychotronics”. It uses something called “bioelectronic” sound at varying frequencies to
cause various effects on the human mind and body. It was used for many different things, such as to break down the mind of the person and it was the
precursor experiments that resulted in today’s “silent weapons”, such as “V2K (Voice to Skull) and long range lethal weapons that are
untraceable. This technology is also used in crowd control by police in riots and such. Again, I’m not sure if this is what it is or not, but I do
know that I am a victim of the initial research experiments conducted to perfect this technology. Even if it is that, that still does not help me to
know how to make it stop!
PLEASE if you or someone you know can explain what this sound is to me, I am very desperate to find out what it is and make it stop! I don’t think I
can take this one more day!
There is plenty of information out there on this subject. It's called "psychotronic weapons".
Here is a Youtube video explaining some of it (start at about 2:30)
CIA: Monarch, and MKUltra Mind Control Programs 10 of 15
Here are a couple of articles:
"The Mind Has No Firewall" Army article on psychotronic weapons
Psychotronic weapons : Brain Manipulation From a Distance
Electromagnetic Radiation (emr) Weapons: As Powerful As The Atomic Bomb
The Deadly Instruments of the New World Order: Electromagnetic and Informational Weapons: The Remote Manipulation of the Human Brain
Please contact me ASAP via email at (Edited) or by phone at (Edited).