I finally did IT and it feels liberating!

I was born in the 70ties in a rather small village where the majority was Roman Catholic. Back then it was unusual for someone to marry for the state alone and in some families it was considered a scandal if you didn't marry before the church.
Same for baptism. All newborns where baptized, no questions asked. It was how it was done, it was tradition and it was necessary to keep up the family standards.

These days, that same town became a big modern small city with modern people. Yet I still see children of children who on their turn marry before the church and baptize their newborns. Although it isn't much of a conversation topic anymore, when it comes to traditional values, not much has changed. I guess most of the conversations about this topics now goes on behind closed doors.

I was baptized and did my first holy communion at age 7, supposed to have the second at age 12, but I threw such a fit about it, because I wanted to join the 'liberal youth', that my parents finally decided to let it be and have my way. For my grandparents that was a disgrace.
You can imagine the "shame on me" when my child was born and I decided NOT to have her baptized.

I've had many discussion with my parents about being baptized and about why my child isn't.
I feel that when you baptize a child, with that you make it a member of a group that the child itself might not want to be in when it gets older. I feel that every person should have to right to choose his religion.
I feel that I should have gotten the right to choose for myself.

Ok, one can always change religion later on in life, but how many will actually go through the paperwork to have it all fixed?
Well, my daughter can have herself baptized any day whenever she wants to... or she can choose another religion that works better for her, it remains her choice, a choice that is hers to make, not mine. I feel very strongly about that.

So personally I stayed a member of the Catholic church and while being so I explored many different spiritual paths till the point when I re-named myself an "eclectic spiritualist".
I don't believe in a God.
I don't believe what is written in the bible.
I can't stand the institute that calls itself "church" and all the hypocrisy involved with it!

I do believe that there is more to life and to spirituality then what we take for granted.

and I still feel very strongly about a certain religion being pushed on me.

so today I did it:
I filled out the paperwork and sent it with an official letter to the archbishopric
and requested to be removed from the baptism register.
I expect the confirmation within a few weeks.

I am no longer a member of the Roman Catholic church and it feels liberating!
I think I'll celebrate tonight

and I hope that next time I visit a church as a tourist I don't catch on fire! J/K

Originally posted by GypsK
and I hope that next time I visit a church as a tourist I don't catch on fire! J/K

or get struck by lightning!

But seriously, Kudos for taking this path - I especially liked what you said about not forcing children to get baptised and then pushing religion on them. My ex-wife is a born again evangelical and all she force feeds my kids Jesus stuff constantly. I can already see the damage it is doing, unfortunately there is nothing I can do about other than be there for my kids and show them that there is a different path.

I feel that pushing religion on children is a form of child abuse.

reply to post by GypsK

Congratulations! My father always reminds me (in a accusing and humourous way) that I was baptized whenever I note how odd/wrong structured religion can be. Maybe I ought to follow in your footsteps so next time he says that I'm Catholic, I have a good come back.

I really do hope that you don't burn in Hell! It sure would suck to look back at your decision with regret!

Originally posted by ParAvion
I feel that pushing religion on children is a form of child abuse.

I agree that forcing religion on those who are too young to make the decision themselves is not the way to go. I've heard of religions (Jehovah Witness for an example ) that don't baptize (if that is still an accurate terminology for the other religions) until the individual is old enough to make an educated decision on their own. I respect that quite a bit (but still have a hard time with all their other beliefs). I think religion is a personal thing and can vary between individuals. And with the proper education, we can all make the decision that is right for ourselves.

reply to post by ParAvion


thanks.
I can't say that I feel abused because I was baptised, it was just somthing that kept on bugging me. And now it doesn't anymore.

I enjoy talking about spirituality with my kid, about the different theories and religions out there and I enjoy knowing that SHE knows it is her free choice to become involved in any of it or not.

You can always let your kids know that, whatever they are told, they will always have the freedom to choose.

reply to post by GypsK


Congrats on your closure/liberation, but don't let your experience with the catholic church push you away from spirituality. It doesn't seem like you're doing that, but what the catholic church calls "church" or mass, isn't like what other christians do in their church - though I'm sure you're already aware.

I grew up refusing to recognize the spiritual side because I felt like religion was being pushed on me as well. My ex used to be Catholic, I know how the rituals and practice of that denomination can give a bad name to religion.

I'm 25 and found God only recently, or rather He found me. I didn't find it in a church, I didn't find it while attached to any possessions, I didn't find it with the help of any other person. When you quiet yourself and open your heart and rid yourself of caring for all these unneeded things in your life, it's like your heart awakens to that spiritual side.

I wouldn't push Christianity on anyone, but truly being spiritual, and not just going through the motions, is very fulfilling. I graduated with an engineering degree, and I follow a scientific process in my thinking on everything. But there is more out there than equations and facts, something you can't recognize as a scientist, but it's apart of the human experience nonetheless.


Edit: I can sympathize with how you felt about your baptism. It should definately be a choice. I just recently did it, but to do something like that, I mean, it doesn't even mean anything as a baby IMO. I can't figure out why the catholic church does that, then again, I can't figure out why they do alot of things.

Both of my kids were baptized but I waited till they asked about it first. They were both teenagers. As you said that's a personal choice people need to make for themselves. Personally I never thought that baptizing babies was a tradition that could be backed up in the Bible. How could it be a meaningful event if you had no clue what was happening. Babies don't know the difference from that or getting a bath in a sink at home.

Originally posted by GypsK
reply to post by ParAvion

 

thanks.
I can't say that I feel abused because I was baptised, it was just somthing that kept on bugging me. And now it doesn't anymore.

I enjoy talking about spirituality with my kid, about the different theories and religions out there and I enjoy knowing that SHE knows it is her free choice to become involved in any of it or not.

You can always let your kids know that, whatever they are told, they will always have the freedom to choose.

I like that approach. What is preached by man has the capacity to be filled with flaws. You certainly get that. I just got around to reading the bible in the last couple of months, and it is beyond comprehension how anyone could call themselves a Christian but still push an agenda of hate, persecution, or segregation towards anyone (gays imparticular). They're the extreme/radicals, but they're still out there. The new testament especially is all about love each other and God above all other things. Taking a single line and twisting it to fit your agenda is mixing the big picture, or so I feel.

I feel like questioning your religion is a good part of being a good (insert your religion here). I know my pastor has said "it's okay to ask questions", and it's been great to have that kind of support while getting to know more about Christianity and asking about specific parts of scripture.

Originally posted by dbates
Both of my kids were baptized but I waited till they asked about it first. They were both teenagers. As you said that's a personal choice people need to make for themselves. Personally I never thought that baptizing babies was a tradition that could be backed up in the Bible. How could it be a meaningful event if you had no clue what was happening. Babies don't know the difference from that or getting a bath in a sink at home.

The pastor at my old church did this with his kid. Infact, he refused to let his son get baptized until he felt his son KNEW what it meant and was old enough to make that mature decision for himself. This is at a baptist church FWIW.

reply to post by GypsK

I think I'll celebrate tonight

Have a beverage of your choice, on me.

Enjoy your freedom! I know exactly how you feel.

Originally posted by MikeyBones
reply to post by GypsK

 

I really do hope that you don't burn in Hell! It sure would suck to look back at your decision with regret!

If I believed for a second that the idea of heaven an hell hold some truth then I'd probably be to scared to be 'un-baptized' and stayed religious so I could go to heaven.

but, as the church, heaven and hell are man-made ideas...imo

Originally posted by MidnightATL
reply to post by GypsK

 

Congrats on your closure/liberation, but don't let your experience with the catholic church push you away from spirituality. It doesn't seem like you're doing that, but what the catholic church calls "church" or mass, isn't like what other christians do in their church - though I'm sure you're already aware.

oh I haven't turned away from spirituality, just from (forced membership of ) organized religion
In fact I'm a very spiritual person, I only walk a path that is not aproved off by most catholics I supose, but like I said, I am highly convinced, through my own experiences, that there is much more to life then what we can see... and after this life. I am sure of that

Originally posted by dbates
Both of my kids were baptized but I waited till they asked about it first. They were both teenagers. As you said that's a personal choice people need to make for themselves. Personally I never thought that baptizing babies was a tradition that could be backed up in the Bible. How could it be a meaningful event if you had no clue what was happening. Babies don't know the difference from that or getting a bath in a sink at home.

well the thing is, the church doesn't make it tradition, but the catholics themselves do. It only takes one respected family to speak out about the do's and don'ts involving baptism, in a small town, and everyone will follow... and keep following for years.
But your right, it doesn't hold any meaning at all for a baby.

I like that you gave your children the freedom of choice in this one

Originally posted by LHP666
reply to post by GypsK

 

I think I'll celebrate tonight

Have a beverage of your choice, on me.

Enjoy your freedom! I know exactly how you feel.

thanks and cheers!
care to share your story?

is "dedicated" the same as being "baptized"?
I was told I was "dedicated"....

I never baptized my children for the same reason
I insist they educate themselves, then decide.

Your way was much easier than the one I went through... Pitchforks, torches, a lot of yelling, this goth guy in all black kept chanting in some screwed up language and throwing water on me.

Then we had a barbeque but the other people got so excited they kept trying to crowd me too close to the fire. But I was having fun and was the center of attention. They kept trying to tie to me to this huge stick. It was a hoot.

Now I go to a church that has services in a shoestore, before it opens. My minister is awesome, charismatic, and is always giving us free Kool Aid!

reply to post by GypsK


I think it’s cool that you will let your daughter develop her own views. Just don’t criticize if she takes different views than yours.

“Ok, one can always change religion later on in life, but how many will actually go through the paperwork to have it all fixed?”

But there is one Ideology that won’t allow you to change, and that's Islam.

And if you do, make sure you don’t tell anybody as you could very well end up dead.

reply to post by Hefficide


um... I so hope you are kidding....
(sounds like an interesting experience though )

reply to post by TDawgRex


at this point in her life she isn't taken any path at all.... but that will come once the worst of puberty is over, lol. All that comes out lately is "yeah yeah mom, whateva!"

She is free to choose and I won't interact with that at all. No matter what choices she will make, it's all part of her learning experience.

Originally posted by Forevever
is "dedicated" the same as being "baptized"?
I was told I was "dedicated"....

I have no idea what 'dedicated' means.
All I know is that I have pictures of me as a baby in a white robe, where a priest is pouring water over my head, that is baptism... but dedicated, I have no idea.

Aren't there pictures in your baby photo album?

Starred you... you know why.