Men~Ten things you should never, ever say., page 1

This information comes from a site called manofthehouse.com.

I pretty much agree with this article. I have heard a few of these. If you are a partner, have you used any of these in the past?

Also feel free to add to the list of other things you should never, ever say. Both sides are encouraged

manofthehouse.com...

1. “You’re over-reacting.”While this may be true from an objective standpoint, she will never agree, at least not on the spot. No matter what she may be throwing at you, be that insults or ceramic knick-knacks, she believes she’s acting appropriately. So duck if you have to and then say something like this: “I don’t blame you for being upset, but I’d rather focus our energy on fixing the problem.”

2. “You’re not being logical.”Once again, you may be right, but that’s beside the point. (Note that we said “may.”) When in the midst of a debate, one plus one can equal three. Put logic aside, and listen for the core matter as she sees it. Hopefully she’ll return the favor when you suggest, for instance, that because it’s the third Sunday of the month, it would be a crime against humanity if you didn’t go fishing.

3. “Who put that idea in your head, your mother?” On a calm day, your wife or main squeeze may concur that her mother is a bit “out there.” However, when you suggest that some beef or ideas of hers isn’t genuine and, instead, has been “planted” by her mother (or sister, or girlfriend), it suggests that she can’t think for herself. Treat her thoughts and ideas as her own, regardless of their origin.

4. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”Well, maybe you need to read more, because whenever you feel you’ve heard the worst of ideas, just sample a few pages of the Darwin Awards. Don’t dismiss ideas outright. Instead, express what about the idea you don’t like. Even better, start by saying what you do like about the idea. Remember, someone once called the internal combustion engine a waste of gray matter.

5. “The other guys’ wives are cool with it.”Even if true, such statements really shouldn’t matter. Think about it this way: If your kid wanted to do something that you didn’t want him to, would the fact that another parent told his kid it was OK change your mind? We didn’t think so. What other wives or girlfriends are doing or saying should be of no concern. Make decisions for yourselves and leave others out of it. Or risk your wife telling you all about the “super-duper romantic” dinner some other husband put together for some other wife.

6. “After everything that I’ve done for you?!”This is playing the guilt card, which may work now and then, but at a steep cost. It suggests that, at the end of the day, your relationship is one based on points reflecting who’s done what for whom. And you might want to reflect long and hard before you suggest that such a score be tallied.

7. “You’ll feel differently tomorrow.”Maybe. Maybe not. Often, a good night’s rest provides a different perspective on life, right? And though this insight may be wise, none of us like to hear it. That’s because it suggests that something we’re upset, angry or passionate about now is just a passing fancy.

8. “You always (fill in the blank).” “You never (fill in the blank).”Definitive statements like these only poke the bear. In most of these cases ¾ “You never give me credit for what I do!” ¾ they’re not literally true and only come off as grandiose statements that hide the real concern or message. Talk, instead, in terms of “sometimes” and “only occasionally.” You’re more apt to be heard, even if you feel that never happens.

9. “You didn’t used to be this way.”Inherent in this statement is the implication that in whatever manner you suggest she “used to be,” that that was far better than the way she is now. Ouch!

10. “You’re missing the point.”When your wife hears this, it gets translated into “You’re not smart enough to understand what I obviously said so clearly and so brilliantly, so let me dumb it down for you.” If you really think she missed your point, then make your point again in a different way

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reply to post by nixie_nox

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i figured that one of the the ten was not telling the wife when your cheating on them. Never tell the women how many beers you've had. Never tell the wife you are prepairng for SHTF, cause she might not understand.

Kaboom goes the husband!

reply to post by Vanishr

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I agree, starting with the first point.

So women are NEVER overreacting OP?

We both know that's not true.

reply to post by nixie_nox

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I probably say at least half of those statements on a daily basis and this thread is not going to stop me doing it.

I think the OP is “over reacting” as to how serious this topic by making a thread about it. It just seems like the OP is “being illogical” this thread is probably the “dumbest thing” I have ever read it’s like “ your mother put this idea into your head”

Really OP you “never used to be like this”, “you’re always” making threads like this, perhaps “you will feel differently tomorrow” about these phrase’s when you’ve had a change to read over your thread and you will see that I am right and that you are just “missing the point”. And “after everything I have done for you” I hope you will come to the ATS BBQ you’re the only one not going, you should come because “all the other guys wife’s are cool with it” why is yours not letting you go.

See what i mean?

reply to post by Vanishr

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I evened it out and said both sides are more then welcome to add.

Sorry, but men can say stupid things. Its meant to be lighthearted and maybe educational. Relax....

reply to post by Exuberant1

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I hope this is something your adding to the list.

So what your promoting is, that you don't have to be respectful to your spouse's feelings?

reply to post by OtherSideOfTheCoin

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cute. Actually some of these statements can be one of the four horseman of the apocolypse of marriage. A respected doctor and researcher has found four elements of the way couples fight that mean certain doom for a marriage. He can watch a couple argue for 5 minutes and declare which ones will end in divorce with 90% accuracy. While they may be simple statements, some statements can have wicked repercussions.

) criticism (telling the other person his or her faults)

2) defensiveness (reacting to certain subjects by denying responsibility, or refusing to discuss an issue the spouse regards as important)

3) contempt (making sarcastic or cutting remarks about the other person)

4) withdrawal (also called "stonewalling": showing no reaction, having a blank look, or ceasing to care)

Contempt and criticism are the two biggest killers, and a some of these statements fall into these categories. And from what I have read of some of these posts, some are readily in use.

reply to post by nixie_nox

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No problem Nixie, i didnt mean to come off agitated if you pecieved me in that way, as iam infact 'relaxed' and the only thing that isnt relaxing is the fact im at work !

I dont think theres anything i can think of in terms of, 'women shouldnt say this to me' i would say theres one thing i wouldnt take being told im 'not aloud' to do, but that goes for anyone, be it women or man & also i think it goes for both sex's, neither enjoy being told what they can or cant do & i dont believe either side should settle with 'oh ok' if your other half is telling you what you can or cant do, i believe thats wrong, and as another poster said, If you're with someone whos appears to always be looking for a fight, then move on, i cant agree with this more also, i just want to live a happy life, be it in or out of a relationship, with little to no conflict ! Not hating on the OP or anything of that manner

reply to post by Vanishr

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Oh ok. problem with text is things get lost in translation.

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