Were you a bully or bullied?

reply to post by trollz



Sorry for double post

"Now, I'm essentially a psychopath; I have no empathy for anyone who isn't a close friend (of which I have 1 and 1 only at the present time). I just usually don't feel things for people. The entirety of humanity can be incinerated in a worldwide inferno for all I care. Despite all of this, I am polite to people so long as they are not rude."

I feel the exact same way.

reply to post by nixie_nox


I was neither...I was a "fringer",I hung out with a klik from another school 7 miles away...a fringer group....really didnt like people from my school,even though I grew up with most of them....I did play ball but the larger city group was just cooler...that was the late 60's and early 70's....the other school had real hippies....Im doing great now...I watch my kids for signs though....and both are in Judo and doing well....I dont deal with thugs very well...no tolerance for as*holes

reply to post by trollz


That is what I meant, to learn to not be a victim. Having nothing but bipolars in my life, I have taken more then my fair share of verbal abuse. I have become defensive and retaliate, also if your not important to me, your words mean nothing. As the saying goes: No one takes advantage of you without your permission.
I am considering enrolling him in karate. Not because I want him to beat people up, but because I want him to feel confident and secure. And then if he ever needs too, he can beat someone up.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Karate is great for feeling confident and secure. It's also great for developing your mind and focus. I think that's a great idea for him.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
What I am really worried about is status bullying. My son is going to go to school in one of the richest counties in the country, where high school kids drive 40k cars to school. He has two low income parents.

Awesome that you mentioned that - I truly believe a lot of the torture I went through as a kid was because I went to a rich school from a poor family. While all the girls around me were wearing Jordache, I was wearing someones hand-me-down cordoroys. Seriously enough to get your a**kicked in the early 80's

I was so glad when my kids were old enough to start school that they had implemented the Uniform policy. Not that we were too poor to keep up with the latest at that time, but because I was too busy to keep up with how quickly fashions change.

Amazing though, now, almost 20 years later - is there anything NOT in style?
Having a vehicle is a whole other issue... my advice to him is to pretend its his choice not to own one - you know - for the health of the planet and all

[url

=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRjykNalGFM&NR=1]sourse[/url]
thought this explains a lot of what we have been talking aboutsorce

reply to post by granpabobby


sorce

this is the video even tho he defended himself he still got in trouble ..so did I..It was worth it ..IMHO

Schools sucks for allot of people it's all about fitting in. Some of us never fit in. The school doesn't take it seriously and sometimes they almost seem like they blame the victim. Kids who are smart, different, or introverted get the "why don't you try harder to fit in" attitude. We can't be there to protect our kids every minute of every day. There are also teachers who bully, belittle and brow beat their students.

For anyone who is in the position to do it I strongly suggest home schooling. Most areas have home school organizations that will help. They even have organized field trips and sports. The library is full of books that tell you how. There is a series called "What every 1st Grader Should Know" and 2nd Grader and so on. Just check with your county government to see what they require.

If you can do it. It is great. I loved spending time with my kids and they turned out all the better for it. Just make sure that if you do you insure they have some interaction with other children so they pick up the social skills they need, Best if luck to you. Glad to see you are advocating for your child because if you don't who will?

I was bullied a lot in grade school. I was a quirky kid, grew up to be handsome.....imagine that.....but I was insecure, had thin skin, the kids picked up on that and had a field day. I was always big, not fat, but very tall and very strong, but I never did anything.....and the kids picked up on that. One day in eigth grade I'd been getting it all day....everyday....as usual, and I just snapped on a kid, threw him against the wall, turned and literally threw him onto the overhead projector(big size difference, plus adrenaline, I don't know how I did it, but it happened) and that changed everything. The rest of that year and high school were a breeze. I remember walking into the lunch room that day, news had spread, and one of the cool guys tapped my shoulder and was grinning ear to ear.....

That being said, I think it's very unfortunate that I was bullied enough to snap.....I didn't wan't to snap. I think fondly now sure, moment of glory....but at what cost? I'm not a fighter now......very well could have turned out that way if i'd basked too long. If I'd began thinking that was the ticket to a comfortable life.

The scars from bullying still exist in me. I have maybe 4 very close friends, but not many acquantences beyond that. I'm still very insecure, and it's wearing a very cocky mask......to keep people away. I don't really trust anyone......hence being on this site.

Now....I don't blame this on the education system at all, I was at a very well funded private school. What would it teach the bullied kids if teachers and faculty stepped in as protection and coddled the bullied? BAD THINGS. You think the cops are going to do the same as adults......for normal bull#? Think again. Disagrements and assholes are apart of everyday life, I believe it's best for our children to know that no later than age 8 or 9, and learn to conduct themselves in a civilized manner within the society in which we have forced them to exist. It's in there best interest. I blame my situation on my parents. I wasn't confident because Dad was always critical.....and I was too scared to fight back, for fear of getting in trouble.....because I knew Dad had hell to pay at home if I did.......I thought I was being a good boy.....and "turning the other cheek".........# THAT BULL#. I was being a sucker and did not have the proper adult guidance to get me past a cruciel hurdle. Public acceptenct. If your kid is bullied......help them give other kids a reason not too.......and if you aren't imaginative enough to do that........U2U me for suggestions.


Now that we're past all that, I'd like to say that I now consider myself well adjusted....ish.....sort of.......nah....I'm a crazy #, but I like it.

Embrace the weirdness my friend. Being strange isn't such a bad thing.