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Were you a bully or bullied?

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posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 06:56 PM
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I had one bully "attempt" to bully me 1 time. I dislocated his shoulder and gave him a concussion. Never had a bully problem again.




posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 06:56 PM
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I was a pretty messed up kid. I used to fight ALLOT boys, girls it didn't matter. I used to get beat on a daily at home so when ever I saw someone being mean or unjust to someone else I would provoke them into a fight. It felt good dishing it out for once and I felt some warped sense of setting things right. I realize now I wasn't any better than those I saw as "oppressors."

A few years ago I was getting an auto insurance policy and the girl keep saying I looked familiar. We tried to figure out where we might have met before. We both figured it out about the same time. I had trounced her back in high school for teasing another girl about the ratty worn out sneakers she was wearing. I realize now as an adult we were both messed up kids trying to deal with things the best we knew how. I told her I was sorry and that I was a different person back then and she said she was too.

I raised my kids not to hit unless someone hit them first. I don't think anyone should be someone else's punching bag. I am glad they didn't turn out like me. I think it has to do allot with environment at home and what they see there they think is acceptable elsewhere. They never saw me or their father resort to violence to resolve our problems.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 07:05 PM
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reply to post by StealthyKat
 


That is teh sweetest and saddest story at the same time. Bless your little heart for being there for that kid. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy that he is successful now. Good for him.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 07:51 PM
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Yes I was bullied as a teen in high school I am from south Texas I transfered to the school in my junior year. I was a little over weight..190 and 5f 8 in tall then and I ran afoul of the local pachuco gang they used me for kicking practice my parents were strict and if I got spanked in school what happened at home was worse..so I didnt fight back and that year became a living hell for me !

This started back up again after summer break . Starting my senior year.off with the same ass kickings I had worked all summer and lost down to 170 but I was still heavy .something snapped..I was in agriculture and farm shop class.This pachuco gang banger came and sat beside me reached over and snapped my pen in half so..I took out his front teeth I got expelled when I came back 3 days later his buddy sought revenge and kicked me in the butt ..bad mistake as I was holding a lit cutting torch in the shop I beat him senseless and he got burned in the prosess. expelled again .from that point I declaired war I f I saw one of these gang members I got them first hard I even hit one with my car knocking him down and I proceded to stomp on him.From that point when they saw me they went the other way and I was left alone..The only way to handle a bully is to gain his respect..with violence..thats all they understand ! Just remembered the gang tried to take me on after a football game and I took em on knowing it was going to be bad.the next thing I know half the football team is in the fight and the punks ran..I asked one of the jocks why they helped and he said we didnt like the odds and that I had guts.

years later I saw the guy who lost his teeth I said hello and he ran like a rabbit..Seems he didnt grow any more and I did !












.



edit on 27-6-2011 by granpabobby because: add usefull information



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 08:14 PM
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Originally posted by nixie_nox
I have personally experienced my five year old getting bullied by a 9 y.o. The scary part was that his mother condoned it, and was even proud of it. Bullies don't just have a personality quark, they are made. The mother is a bully herself. There are many causes of bullies but in this case, the mother has no one to blame but herself. Anyone who knows my kid knows he is very empathetic, sweet and kind, and a very good kid. So to see him picked on by a bigger kid he looked up too is horrifying.
It was like watching a lion kill baby cheetah cubs.
But to actually have the parent sanction it is just shocking. And is child abuse of the worst form. Bullies can grow up to be bullies and victims can grow up to be victims. Boys who are taught to bully have a higher chance of failing out of school and having a conviction by age 24.
I wonder if kids manage to scrape by as middle of the pack, not belonging to either. And I am doing research to see how to best teach my child to become resistant to bullying, while still remaining a good person.

What was your experience? And how are you doing today?
edit on 27-6-2011 by nixie_nox because: (no reason given)


First, I would confront the woman and simply state that what her son is doing is assault. You'll call the police and have him arrested if it doesn't cease immediately. If she takes a swing at you, have her arrested. Do this with witnesses. You won't be able to reason with her because she's obviously nuts so the only thing you can do is give her consequences for her actions.

I was bullied in school because I didn't want to fight. I don't like hurting people. I told several bullies this and gave them the option of leaving me alone. They didn't so I had to hurt them. They never came near me again but there is no winner. If I didn't stand up for myself, my self esteem would be destroyed and I would be a meek, scared person my whole life. By standing up for myself, I had to physically hurt people which has also stayed with me even to this day.

I remember one time I was pinned against a wall by the throat in school as teachers passed by doing nothing. I told the bully I'd break his hand if he didn't let go. A few moments later he was screaming on the floor with 3 broken fingers. I can still hear those fingers snap like dried branches.
You can't turn the other cheek. You can't assume someone else will make the bully stop. It's your child and you are responsible to protect him/her.

I wish you luck.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 08:24 PM
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reply to post by Ladysophiaofsandoz
 


Thank you for telling the other side of this issue. While I detest bullying, I think you're right about the home environment. I do believe there are some people who are plain evil....but many times the bully is also being bullied by parents or a sibling. Acting out in this way can be indicative of mental, physical, or sexual abuse.I admire you for stopping the cycle by talking about this with your kids!



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 08:26 PM
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reply to post by nixie_nox
 

I know, it makes me cry when I think about it sometimes.....he is an awesome person!




posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 08:28 PM
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reply to post by granpabobby
 


I hate violence, but as you said....that is sometimes all these thugs understand. You had every right to defend yourself!



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 08:35 PM
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reply to post by jfj123
 


Sad to say, but you're right. Most bullies feed off the victim's fear. That's their goal...to watch someone cower. If you can make them think you are crazier than them, most of the time they will back down. Most bullies are insecure people who try to make themselves feel better by causing others grief.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 08:44 PM
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I was bullied! Then I beat the crap out them and they never did it again.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 09:02 PM
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I don't know if I would call my thing "getting bullied" since it didn't really bother me. Psychological bullying and words don't really affect me. They might as well not speak. As long as you don't touch me, we'll be good. Touch me and I touch you.

Bullies only understand violence. They will respect you if you get into a fight with them and manage to hold your ground. You don't need to win. You just need to hold your ground during the fight and don't let him win. You do that until a teacher comes along and breaks up the fight and you will never be bullied again.

First thing I'm telling my kid is to go for the jaw if he/she ever starts getting bullied.
edit on 27-6-2011 by Jepic because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 10:00 PM
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I have never bullied anyone ever and never been bullied, im a quiet guy and keep to myself mostly but in college one guy tried to bully me for a week and also tried to get others to bully me and lets just say I don't let anyone walk all over me and bully me just because im quiet, he got quite a shock when he woke up on the floor 5 minutes later after trying to punch me in the face.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 10:21 PM
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I was never truly bullied, and if I was - I don't remember it. I might have shut things out over time.

I did witness bullying on an old friend in 6th grade. I was too scared to jump in and defend her. I wish I knew then what I know now. Things would be different. Very different.

One thing I know is that at the beginning of next year i'm learning martial arts - something every decent person should learn.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 10:22 PM
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I was bullied in highschool. It was allowed and sometimes encouraged. One student's father actually told him he had permission to beat me up if I ever retaliated. The teachers and administration simply didn't care, they would never do a thing about it. One teacher even made me leave her classroom one time because she didn't like what I was wearing. All of this because I wore different clothing and didn't try to fit into the various cliques and social groups.

How has it made me as a person? School showed me what people are like. Now, I'm essentially a psychopath; I have no empathy for anyone who isn't a close friend (of which I have 1 and 1 only at the present time). I just usually don't feel things for people. The entirety of humanity can be incinerated in a worldwide inferno for all I care. Despite all of this, I am polite to people so long as they are not rude.

But I've also learned another important lesson; Don't be a victim. You can't teach him to be resistant to bullying, but you can teach him not to be a victim. There's a big difference, and only one of those things is effective.



posted on Jun, 27 2011 @ 11:13 PM
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I was bullied for a while, but then I started giving their words back to them. I also didn't shy away from shoving matches and fights. I was twelve or thirteen when it stopped, and it never resumed.



posted on Jun, 28 2011 @ 01:00 AM
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Originally posted by nixie_nox
I have personally experienced my five year old getting bullied by a 9 y.o. The scary part was that his mother condoned it, and was even proud of it. Bullies don't just have a personality quark, they are made. The mother is a bully herself. There are many causes of bullies but in this case, the mother has no one to blame but herself. Anyone who knows my kid knows he is very empathetic, sweet and kind, and a very good kid. So to see him picked on by a bigger kid he looked up too is horrifying.
It was like watching a lion kill baby cheetah cubs.
But to actually have the parent sanction it is just shocking. And is child abuse of the worst form. Bullies can grow up to be bullies and victims can grow up to be victims. Boys who are taught to bully have a higher chance of failing out of school and having a conviction by age 24.
I wonder if kids manage to scrape by as middle of the pack, not belonging to either. And I am doing research to see how to best teach my child to become resistant to bullying, while still remaining a good person.

What was your experience? And how are you doing today?
edit on 27-6-2011 by nixie_nox because: (no reason given)


When I was growing up I was bullied too....I was a kind and thoughtful child.....fortunately my parents enrolled me in self-defense classes. So if I was physically attacked I could defend myself....they also taught me that being a bully is wrong...and those that do bully are taught to be that way and/or choose to be that way...and that they are very unhappy people and want to take out their anger on the good people...

Also...I was taught to walk away....and just ignore them. It also didn't hurt that by the time I turned 13 I was 5'9" tall...(I am a girl).

So...anyway...my point to help...enroll your child in self-defense classes....and even at 5 years old...that is not too young. I have been in some defense classes where 2 and 3 year olds participated.



posted on Jun, 28 2011 @ 01:05 AM
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guys hit each other mostly girls like to psychologically rip each other apart in my opinion, its sad but thats growing up



posted on Jun, 28 2011 @ 01:28 AM
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reply to post by nixie_nox
 


This is besides the point, but for your sons sake tell him to take on the bully as many times as it takes till he wins even if it means fighting dirty. I was a short kid growing up but my grandfather taught me to let my fists do the talking when push came to shove if it was real hard I was told to grab a weapon as he said "never give up, win or lose no one laughs at a warrior". You may not understand it but its probably the best thing for him especially at his age because life isnt going to get any easier the bullies keep getting bigger and stronger.



posted on Jun, 28 2011 @ 03:59 AM
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I was part of a band of seven who conspired against school!!
We never bulled nor were bulled, just school sanctions



posted on Jun, 28 2011 @ 04:14 AM
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I was bullied my whole life until my late teens, not just from kids, but from my parents aswell.


I was getting picked on for being a scrony white boy who is not threatening at all to anyone but obviously wimpy. And considering the verbal and physical abuse I got from home made me afraid of any confrontation to the point of crying before I got my ass beat. So when I got bullied at school I would remember the pain from home and get terrified and just run from the bullies, but I always got caught and beat harder.

Honestly though, I was at the breaking point of suicide. I tried many different things, cutting, bottles of pills to the point of getting me stomach pumped, but couldn't finish the job because I was a coward and afraid of dealth so I wanted to bring it on other people. I was tempted to shoot up my school cause I had no way out. Not the innocent kids but the bullies that ruined me. The wanting to shoot the school up ended quick when we finally moved to another city and had a fresh start.

Being bullyied ruined my life, Still has, I have no family now, ditched them for f***ing me up and now I have huge trust issues because of it. Afraid to talk to most people. But i'm lucky enough to have my girlfriend who straighten me up and made a man out of me. I know I need to see a physcologist but it's hard to make that call.

But to the OP. I would talk directly to the bully's parents, or/and goto the school and make a big thing out of it. Bring it to the school board if they are too incompatant of protecting your child. Or what worked for me a few times was enroll your kid in boxing and lay waste to the child. I never wanted to box because I was a wimp but it sure as hell worked when the kid cornered me for a beating.

Good luck and hope your child doesn't turn out like me.




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