Were you a bully or bullied?

reply to post by YouDeserveToKnow


Oh wow.....I am so sorry you went through that. You know, I would never have guessed that by your picture. I've seen it before and thought "wow...he's hot!".....I don't mean to embarrass you, but it's true. You look strong and self confident. That's what makes me so angry about bullies....what they do leaves PERMANANT emotional scars. I hope that your life now is happy....

reply to post by nixie_nox


Well, do you have time for a cup of coffee or tea?
I was a victim of bullies,from the 7th-12th grade.
I have been punched,tripped,spat on,school books
stolen,eyeglasses broken,kept from entering school
doors,purse snatched and hidden in boys' bathroom,
called all kinds of names,even had my rice krispie
treat stolen once,guidence councelor told I was doing
drugs which caused my locker and bedroom to be searched.

I finally started to fight back which caused me to spend 45
days in detention.My parents were sure I provoked the other
students..I had one boy who took a knife to my throat and
forced me to do something.A girl punched me in the mouth
and broke one of my teeth because of the above mentioned
boy.None of the other kids' saw the knife because it was dark.
This all happened between the 7th and 8th grade.

Anyone who thinks they can hurt me in anyway on this board
is in for a rude surprise.I have had decades of experience in
dealing with your kind.
Bye for now,Mama is making jelly
Friday,I canned 12 pints of grape jelly.Today,I have canned 6 pints
of banana-strawberry jelly and have 5 pints of cherry jelly in the
waterbath canner as I type.

I was never bullied and I never bullied... in fact, I HATE bullies. My oldest daughter may look like me but she doesnt have my personality and has been a bully magnet. I mean the girls these days do VILE stuff. Ive never found the correct way to deal with bullies.. other than beating them senseless. There is a place for violence in society for us more civilized folks unfortunately, and usually due to needing to speak the bullies language to them. The idea that bullies do these htings out of insecurity or whatever is not correct either IMO. Theyre MADE just like the OP has discovered. They just enjoy bullying. WHen dealing with my daughters situation I found the parents were grown up school yard bullies. They promoted their little snow flakes behavior, condoned it, and enabled it.

OP.. Im older. Im small, 5'4" 120 lbs, and Im very soft spoken. Im also meaner than hell when the situation calls for it. WIth our daughter's situation one of the parents decided they would come to my home and then try to start something with me. Big ol loud mouth bleach blonde with her husband sitting in the car. She wasnt sure what I was so I got the towel head and "go back home" sentiments that are popular in this area. ( 2nd time thats happened .. weird) I typically dont word fight or say much. I let her yell at me for being the victims parent for a few seconds.. and threaten to push past me and beat my child up for "tattling" on her precious little angel... and then proceeded to do everything in my power to lay her out on my front yard so she wouldnt have the chance to get up and harm me or my kids. She came to MY house and intimidated ME for her kid beating on my autistic daughter on the bus. This is a bully who gave birth to more bullies. SIlly girl. And no, I left her weave intact. Her husband didnt get out of the car.. he just sat there and I made the roll the widow down motion with my hand.. told him to call the police for his wife.
WHen they got there I of course wasnt in the wrong, but I did get asked why I kept hitting her.. and I said cause she kept trying to get up. If she got up.. there was the potential for her to make good on her threat to go after my disabled daughter. Every time she would try to get up and start the racist crap and yelling.. Id stomp her back down and tell her to just knock it off.. it was over .. and to just lay down until the cops got there. I wished she would have just stayed down.. Im older, it was physically hard to fight the jolly green giant, and I was tired and hurting myself. SHe must have been dumb as a rock. She got the crap beat out of her AND arrested... her hubby has a revoked license when they ran him and she got her car towed. I also got threatened with 1/2 of east st louis coming to kill me.. but that was a few yrs ago and Im still here. My daughter is almost 18 now and hasnt been bullied since. Needless to say it still was non stop issues with the school.. and I eventually pulled her out if that school. We sent hte info to the state about the mishandling and to this day they are still hemming adn hawing on it. A year after my daughter was racially beaten.. a boy was beaten by several others and the same thing happened. The video is all over the net.. and still people are blaming the victim in the video. Incredible! This time someone grabbed the tape and gave it to the news though. Still, no good outcome and they refused to call it a hate crime.

The incident that proceeded this? My daughter is autistic and a very gentle little soul. SHE is also a complete knock out and has a curvy body.. small waist, and a butt. The only jeans that fit me are "apple bottoms" and so I bought her some. She wore them to school and a group of 3 black girls beat her, spit on her, tore her clothes, and called her every racist and non racist thing in their vocabulary for wearing "their" brand. It was caught on tape on the bus, no one did a damned thing.. not the bus driver.. and when I raised hell at the school all they did was suspend the girls for 3 days.. for a 3 on 1 racially motivated violent assault. They didnt call the police adn they "lost" the tape from the bus I had been fighting with the school and police over this for a few days when the bullies mamma came to MY house to beat up MY child!

Anyway, word gets around. You get the reputation of a person who will beat someone until they cant get up for crossing the line.. and you have less problems since society these days seems to only understand violence. I have a flawless record, a lifetime of production and doing the right thing. Im squeaky clean. I would assume if you have anything to cast doubt on you, youll have a harder time staying out of trouble if you do wholesale asskicking on an idiot. Sometimes you have to speak their language to get your point across.

Ive told this on here before... and people bash me for it. I really am beyond caring what a goofball on a message board thinks.

I was really bullied too. In middle school I was nicknamed baby cow and kids would moo when I walked into the room. Sad part it, I wasn't overweight, I wasn't thin, but I wasn't overweight.
I was like the girl that popular boys would be friends when no one was looking, but would make fun when others were around.
I bullied once because I got tired of being bullied. And it would get attention. I feel bad for it now.

I was never bullied. Somehow I got the role of "protector of the innocent" I was fairly popular and had a lot of friends so I tried to use my "social influence" for good. Funny thing though...even though I filled that role in school, I never once raised my fists in a fight. Somehow, even with the worst bullies, my diplomacy won.

I must say though that I have never understood how a parent could condone or be proud that their child is a bully. To me that just defies logic since we are responsible for raising our children to be good and caring citizens. I know I sure try to raise my two boys that way!

reply to post by mamabeth

Mama....I don't know what to say...
Nobody should have to go through that. I had a very difficult childhood, but for different reasons, and I DO know this for a fact......it made me stronger than most. I can get through things many would give up on...I have infinite patience and tenacity. I get that from you too. When you have already been through so much, you have an inner strength, kind of like a suit of amor
P.S. What kind of jelly are you making?

reply to post by mamabeth



Im sorry Mamma.. like I said, girls can do VILE things. I could tell you some things that have happened to my oldest, but suffice to say... even though I was never bullied I can understand and it makes my heart hurt for you. I never knew it personally, but I understand now that you dont just "get over" these things.

reply to post by Advantage

Good for you! I detest physical violence BUT...if some two-bit bleep came to my house, threatened my child, and didn't have the good sense to leave when warned...it's on! This may be an unpopular opinion, but sometimes you can only be pushed so far especially when an adult threatens to physically harm your child.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Bullied psychologically by girls a lot because they didn't like the attention I got from boys...it was because I was such a tomboy myself...I just liked hanging with the guys better...I didn't get the materialistic, catty ways of the girls...but I was the oldest and definitely bullied my sis and bro from time to time.

But I was only physically threatened once and I believe an angel showed up that day to save me...I NEVER saw that girl who arrived on the scene just in the nick of time back in 4th grade.

Because of her and because of my own peace-loving nature, I always tried to stick up for those bullied, quell bad rumors. I had a keen sense of justice

But then...I married a bully. It's made my life less peaceful...I have four boys and I know at least two have bullying tendencies...but they have all experienced the raw side of bullying from school...and unfortunately, a time or two at home, by their dad.

reply to post by staciebee


What I am really worried about is status bullying. My son is going to go to school in one of the richest counties in the country, where high school kids drive 40k cars to school. He has two low income parents.

I was bullied pretty hard as a kid until I got bigger then the bullies. Isn't it funny that when a person who is bullied get's built bigger when they get older it stops? I wrote a short story on my experience and if I can find it I will post it. To tell you the truth it was so bad that several times I tried to commit suicide over it, when my parents brought it up to the teachers back then their response was simply, "That's how kids are tough." To me anyways a lot of people just don't care until a life is taken and that's a shame. Just because someone is different doesn't mean they have to put up with it just because "That's how kids are." Your child is not alone at all, and several school districts are starting anti-bullying programs and I would encourage you to try to start one in yours. Here's a few links for you: antibullyingprograms.org... and this one is also a great one: www.nobully.com... here's an article from ABC for those that believe it is not a problem: abcnews.go.com...

Finally I would like to give you a great song by SIXX AM that I think fit's with this topic: www.youtube.com...

All people are capable of bad things.

It's the ones who can't keep themselves in check that are a blight on the human race.

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by staciebee

 

What I am really worried about is status bullying. My son is going to go to school in one of the richest counties in the country, where high school kids drive 40k cars to school. He has two low income parents.

I can imagine its worse now, but I went to "those schools" and there were poorer kids in.. when I was in school it was nothing to include the kids anyway.. regardless of "status".. and our counselors would appoint several of us as sort of the "welcoming wagon". Makes it easier for not only the newcomers, but helps with the inclusion in "groups" and I dont care where you are.. youre going to deal with cliques. Its ALWAYS easier for boys who can get into sports and do well.. regardless of status.
Does this district operate like that?

reply to post by Advantage


I think so. My school was actually very cool about that, especially my class. There were cliques but they didn't have boundaries, it doesnt matter if you were a yo or a grit, everyone got along. A lot of us keep in touch.

reply to post by nixie_nox


I never bullied, but once in a while I was a dick, which I regret today even though it was really just kids stuff and most times came about from messing around.

I was I guess you can say "attempted bullied" a couple of times in school, though the bully only did it when he had at least 3 friends with him, and was to scared to really start anything serious because he must of known that if he started anything serious, I't would of just gave me an excuse to be serious. And really the only thing that stopped me from trying to smash there faces in there and then, was that my parents will hear of it and then I would never stop hearing of it from my parents.

Jebus let me tell you if I ever happen to meet with those "bullies" on the streets or better yet in a dark alley back in those days, it would not have been pretty, and sometimes I wished it would of happened. But all of that was in the past when a kid, and mostly throughout my childhood and school age I was usually a loner and did my own thing.

I don't know what it is about me. But usually I go between extremes when it comes to people or at least there reaction to me. Sometimes people cross the road to avoid me even complete strangers for no reason whatsoever, like there scared of me. And other time some people, well they seem to just try to annoy me or try to start something for whatever crazy reason they have, which is usually crazy because it will not end well for them if they start something.

But ya bulling and bullies, though I have not experienced as much of it as people on here. Well they respond and respect one thing only, and its not turning the other cheek.

I was bullied.

How am I doing today? Lets see....

Diagnosed with clinical depression, thoughts of suicide all the time, low self esteem, agoraphobic, cynical, only speak to two people outside of my immediate family with one of them being my girlfriend, have a general mistrust and hatred of people and am admittedly clingy because friendships are good for about 3 years then suddenly they all disappear and I have to find new friends where the cycle repeats itself and I'm left wondering what happened, whether I was to blame etc so I hang onto whatever friendships I do make while at the same time wondering when they're gonna turn on me too.

Always told I'm a really nice guy, friendly, intelligent, good company, great listener, hilarious, multi talented but it's a shame none of that translates into actual relationships with humans.

Will that do?

Starting in about sixth grade, I hit a growth spurt and went from being one of the shortest kids in school to one of the tallest. Even my freshman year in high school, I walked in the door larger than most of the older kids. Once that growth spurt happened my world altered. As a smaller kid, I had been targeted by bullies. Once that magic summer of BIG occurred, I returned and decided to be the anti-bully. Anytime I ever saw a kid picking on a smaller kid, I would intervene.

I bullied bullies.

So, I'm not sure where that puts me. It's not like I was a heroic figure. I bullied bullies because it augmented my social standing and garnered attention of the right friends and the pretty girls. I liked the power. I liked people making a wide birth when they walked by me in the hallway. But there was a noble aspect to it. To this day I cannot stand to watch the strong victimize the weak. It infuriates me on some weird level. It offends me that somebody who is supposed to be 'strong" would choose safe and easy targets. By definition, strength should seek out other strength to pit itself against. You prove nothing beating your grandmother. You prove much by taking out a group of giant bikers.

Just my distorted and rambling take on it.

Originally posted by Hefficide
I bullied bullies.

Jerk. No wonder you grew up to be a serial killer.

To this day I cannot stand to watch the strong victimize the weak. It infuriates me on some weird level. It offends me that somebody who is supposed to be 'strong" would choose safe and easy targets.

reply to post by Hefficide


That is exactly how it is with me. I can't stand to see someone hurt like that.... I still remember the first time I saw bullying.
It was the first day of school. There was a boy who lived on my street who was very small, and he was a little slow mentally. I always kind of watched out for him.

So anyway, I remember him walking up to the bus stop, all proud of his new shoes and outfit....he came up to me all excited to show me his new back pack. I could tell he took time to comb his hair just so, and it was obvious he put hair gel in his hair and everything. You could just tell he got up early and was so excited about his new clothes and shoes (His parents didn't have much money) He looked so happy and excited...

When lunch time came. I saw him sitting all alone in the cafeteria, so I went and sat with him. He was kind of quiet, but seemed ok. Riding the bus home, I noticed a group of boys looking at him and giggling about something.....they had plans.

We got off the bus, and I started walking back to my house when I heard loud laughing and yelling. Those boys had followed him and took his new back pack he loved so much and threw it in a ditch full of muddy water....when the boy went to try and get it out of the ditch, the biggest bully ran up behind him , and pulled the boys pants down around his ankles, causing him to trip and fall into the ditch! I remember the humiliation on his face when those punks laughed at him laying in the muddy ditch, and I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest....I ran over there and pulled him out of the ditch and he was trembling so hard, he could barely walk. I walked him home, and I hugged him and told him to wait for me in the morning before going to the bus. And from that day forward, I walked him to and from the bus stop, sat with him at lunch etc.

Years later he turned out to be one of the cutest boys in school. All the girls had a crush on him, and some were the ones who used to pick on him! He took great pleasure in snubbing them!

We have remained friends till this day, and now he has a successful business and is an absolute Adonis!! I love him like a brother. Still, everytime I look at him, I remember how he looked that day, and I feel that tug on my heart. Because I know that deep down, that hurt is still there.

Sorry this is so long, but this is why I hate bullies so much. I'll never forget it.

I was bullied psychologically throughout most of school, and as a result I had basically no friends and felt that no one cared.
Now a days I find it difficult to get close to people.
It sucks but that's life for some I guess.