posted on Jun, 25 2011 @ 08:07 PM
Hi, my son is 11 turing 12. I am a 31 yr old father that grew up in a single mother household with no male figure. I was a single father for about the
first 3 yrs of my sons life too.
I understand it can be very frustrating, uncomfortable, and it seems unfair. You are filling two roles(one you grew up learning the other you have had
thrust upon you) and your son might feel like he is missing a male role model.
I wait for a catalyst (something on tv/videogame/newspaper/homework).
When somthing presents itself I try to talk about the subject like he is a coworker on the jobsite(an equal), get his opinion, then offer societies
opinion and then mine, and I will always end it with something along the lines of-Treat others like you want to be treated-you would rather be happy
than right-It takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight-Who cares what anyone else wants you to do, you know inside what is right and wrong, what
is good.-If someone is your friend and likes you for you they will not force you or try to embaress you to do something.
Here are the main things I try to inform my son about.
Self gratification is fine, it is personal and should be kept personal. Lock the door, have fun, clean up after dicretly, it is everyones fun littel
secret. We all do it, but it is a social no no to talk about it.
Sex in any form is an expression of love and is a good thing. Try not to get caught up in power plays, your partner is equal and a person like you.
Love them treat them like you want to be treated. Rape is a horible expression of controll and power and is not good.
I love you no matter who you love. Race/Religon/Age(legal ofcourse)/sex. You are you and I love you.
Sex has two functions Procreation and Recreation. It is special in both forms.
With anything it can become an addicition, be mindful of your choices.
Be safe, use protection. Both physical(condoms/spermacide/pill) and emotional-Be mindfull of your choices in partners, make sure you love them not
just lust for there body, be sure they love you not just lust for your body.
As for the mechanics of the whole in and out, I do not talk about that. That IMO is the best part of the whole deal, getting with that person you love
and finding out how tab b goes into slot a and how fun it is. Why spoil it.
I explain it all till the bedroom door closes then skip to the next day.
I explain the basic biology of the egg being fertilized the same as the other mammals around us, and the birthing/rearing.
Again I use stuff we see around us to bring these up, there is stuff everwhere and everyday.
Just what I do, I wish you well and hope you find the advice you need.