Still curious why all of my relationships fail

Whaaat? Women don't like dorks? Since when? I was always under the impression that women liked dorky guys as long as they were cool dorky guys. I know that sounds like a paradox, but, if you're a dork with no social skills people won't like you, but, if you can impress other women with stuff that you do and things that you like and by being yourself, all the power to you!

I would also say that people women don't like dormats. They might feel sympathy for dormats, but, you can't just let people walk over you like that. It might hurt a little after your first few rejections but you need to pull yourself together. I haven't dated anyone yet but I can relate to the feelings of rejection and how hard it hurts, and, how it would hurt even more if you were actually dating someone.

reply to post by Leemo


First don't be nice, remember nice guys finish last. Second your 22 so who cares I think you will have plenty of other chances with the female gender, so why are you even whining about it, who cares bro.

Most females when younger like to go back and forth gauging there options and you know "girls just like to have fun" and depending on there looks they usually have lots of options and fun, don't take it to serious because it is anything but a serious thing.

Basically a good way to see what females are about is. Watch what they say and then do. Ever hear of this saying "Never believe what anybody says only what they do" Actions will always speak louder then words, and every action you take or choice you make both consciously and unconsciously will speak louder then any words, even if they are screamed from the top of a mountain.

So most times the ladies will say lots of stuff but its all just words and meaningless jabber. And a lot of it is just some sort of reverse psychology that they get off on, so if you see a girl say she likes the nice guys. But every time you have seen her she will pass by 20 of them and go for the bad boy, then you know what she is all about. And etc etc, it is what it is, and that's all it is.

Trust me dude, I have seen this and other things, to know what its all about. # I have even seen chicks go out with a new boyfriend every 2 months or something and then break up with them and whine and bitch about how they can't get a man, then within a couple of days they find a new guy, and that will last for a little while till they get bored, and then rinse and repeat the process again. Usually within a year they will usually have about 10 new boyfriends and still always whine and complain about how they cant find a man.

So some time alone will do you good, so enjoy it, because relationships and the whole love thing is overrated.

And when you find yourself, then the females will find you, it's what they look for, among other things. It's nature and the name of the game. And knowing yourself is what it comes down to, but the more complicated you are, the longer and dangerous that process will be.

SO quit your bitching, you still got your whole life in front of you at 22, and will forget about this in a couple of days anyways.

Know thyself.

Girls your age think nice guys are boring. Be more of a dick and start acting like an obnoxious asshole. Guarantee you'll get more action.

My experience from watching male friends and relatives, and being a female myself, is that these guys tend to go after the wrong women. I have repeatedly watched guys go after the flirty, tease type of girls, knowing that either A. The are only in it for the attention and whatever else they can get for themselves, with out having to give anything back, or B. they are cheaters. Guys naturally seem to be attracted to the wrong kind of women, just like women seem to be attracted to the wrong kind of men. I think for guys it has to do with sex. The tend to go with the girls who outwardly seem to be more interested in sex are appear to be better in bed. Those girls are either sluts or teases. Just a hint guys, girls that are less reserved in public are more reserved in in the bedroom are the opposite is true as well. Not being a guy, I can't completely confirm this, but having enough talks with other women, its usually the the girl you least expect it from that comes up with the most shocking sex conversations.

Dorky can be sexy in the right man. There have been a few a few dorky guys that I have met, that pulled it of in just the right way, so that it was unbelievably sexy. Then there have been others that it was more of a turn off., You just never know.

Guys you have it wrong about nice guys and being a dick. Its not about being nice or being a dick, its about being passive or assertive. Its just that most nice guys are passive and most dicks are assertive. If you can be nice and assertive you have a winning combination if you pick out the right girl.

reply to post by Leemo


You're still too young to worry about that stuff.


By the way if you really truely want to find out where you went wrong, just ring up your ex's and ask them (sounds scary i know).

But that's the only way you'll truely find out, none of us here have been in a realationship with you

so none of us can really tell you.

Originally posted by Mentalistbee
reply to post by Leemo

 

By the way if you really truely want to find out where you went wrong, just ring up your ex's and ask them (sounds scary i know).

Do not do this. I repeat, do not do this...

reply to post by blackrain17

Do not do this. I repeat, do not do this...

And yet this was your advice to the OP.....

"Girls your age think nice guys are boring. Be more of a dick and start acting like an obnoxious asshole. Guarantee you'll get more action. " *

reply to post by Rising Against


The relationships are over, obviously the girls thought he was too nice. There's no reason for OP to lose more face.

Also, my advice wasn't meant for him to go back to his exes and start acting like an asshole. This was meant for new girls he meets.

All of everyones relationships fail, until they either find someone that they truly gel with and form a long lasting relationship / marriage or they get so desperate they settle for safety and boredom over love, even then things can still go wrong

Don't worry about it, just enjoy each day as it comes

reply to post by blackrain17

Also, my advice wasn't meant for him to go back to his exes and start acting like an asshole. This was meant for new girls he meets.

So, again, your advice is for him to be someone he obviously is not? Sorry, but that's absolutely terrible advice...

Be yourself OP. Don't "create" a false personality simply to get girls, not unless you want to destroy the relationship long term and go through more unnecessary heartache. It's just not worth it. I'm slightly younger also, and trust me, not all girls our age think "nice guys finish last". Not at all.

The girls who see someone for who they truly are - those are the girls worth going after, or the ones you should wait to find should I say.

reply to post by Rising Against


Be yourself? Hahahahaha... When you are in your 20s, it's all about the chase and playing games. Girls are suckers for games and drama. And it's obvious by the girls OP's attracted to, they aren't the nice girls. He is attracted to girls that are bitchy with attitudes. But that's normal when you are young. Let's face it, even nice guys don't like nice girls because nice girls are boring.

Gotta go so I'll explain more in details later...

reply to post by blackrain17


Just curious, how do you know exactly what the girls thought?

And if he is looking to find some one to be with, then yes, being himself is the only option. Would you live a lie with some one?

reply to post by blackrain17

When you are in your 20s, it's all about the chase and playing games.

But that's normal when you are young. Let's face it, even nice guys don't like nice girls because nice girls are boring.

More absolute nonsense...

First off, "nice girls" are not boring at all.

Secondly, being young isn't all about chasing girls. That's just an utterly ridiculous stereotype to say the least. Believe it or not, some guys our age actually want a meaningful relationship with someone, they want someone to care about and they want someone who cares about them in return.. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I assume, from reading the opening post, Leemo wants this also. And he can find it if he wants to. But not by being someone he's not which was your advice and it was obviously given just for the ultimate goal of getting laid every now and that is just, IMO, lame and it's such a ridiculous goal to have. There's more to life than such things.

If he wants a meaningful relationship, he has to be himself otherwise it isn't real. It's based on lies...

With all due respect, but maybe you need to grow up to realize these things?

I don't want to rain on the He Man Woman Haters club parade but not all girls/women are stupid, shallow, or loose. The are some nice girls/women out there. If good, honest, smart women were a dime a dozen men wouldn't appreciate them when they did find one. Somewhere out there is a "nice" girl who is wondering why all the guys she dates are losers who treat her like dirt. Men and women are not so different. You are still young give it time. Take some time off to work on your confidence and let your battle scars heal. Confidence (not arrogance) is sexy. Please don't let this experience make you bitter toward women. Bitterness and repressed hostility toward women will only insure that you spend your days alone.

Treating women poorly may get you in the sack with women who are damaged goods but are you looking for quantity or quality?

I hope this post helps and that you find a woman will make the wait/search worthwhile. Trust me I have been married to my best friend for 24 years now and can't wait for another 24 years. Chin up soldier!

Let me tell you a test that I recently done myself. The test took about an hour to do. Here is what I did: I put on an expensive tie and suit. I take the neater looking car of the two that I have. I go to the supermarket on a Friday evening where a lot of women go. The women I am testing are ages: 20 to 40. Now I conclude that test and go to the next. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I grap the ugly car and head out to the supermarket again on the same day but a little over an hour later. Here are the results: With tie and suit, neat looking car: 48 women take notice, smile, and talk back to me when I start conversation. With jeans, t-shirt, and ugly car: 0 women take notice, smile, and talk back to me when I start conversation. I have done three separate tests and all three of them come out to be about the same. Conclusion: NO MONEY, NO HONEY!!!....Grrrrrahahahahahah!!!

reply to post by chrhenn3265


Thats no honey, that's a gold digger.

You want a smart elegant lady, try the book store

Maybe I'll try that test too? All women are gold diggers, especially the newer generation as we advance into the future. Its not womens fault. Its americas fault. The judicial system allows alot of abuse and favoritism among women. They give them everything from all of mans inheritance (or half even when the women didn't earn it) to free education. The saying is true: I am a woman so hear me roar!!! Grrrrahahahahaa!!!!

My advice for you OP. You are a young guy, You have all the time in the world.

Women love a funny, witty guy. Watch alot of stand up, get sharp.

Oh, and this one works.

Walk up to a girl and tell her that you dig her shoes.

Works every time.


Trust me. Im a less than good looking 40 year old dork that is married to a hot 22 year old .

I really don't know what I'd do without you guys out here! Thanks a lot I needed the boost of confidence =D I guess everyone is right that I have to start being more cocky and such, right on!

reply to post by Leemo


Relax panzy, you'll get over it, do what I do, think about it this way, will it matter a year from now? Guess not, hoohaa!