Real American History According to Students.

Had to post this!

According to some of these students, the History of the US is not what we really thought. We all know that students come home with homework that not even parents can help with because it's beyond what us old codgers studied back in the day. So these new revelations about certain points in History must be correct since our children are studying and learning things beyond what we learned...Right?

Not to mention that we only had books, notebooks and pencils. So with all of the computers and cell phones in the class rooms these days, and the access to vast amounts of information online, I can't help but come to the conclusion that since we were at a disadvantage, we must be wrong.

Now usually I would run a spell check on a thread before hitting the 'Post' button, as all good ATS Members should do (giggle) but in this case I decided it was best for the post to leave everything as is.

So have a look at what our little darlings have discovered about the History of the REAL America. Keep in mind that these students range from Grade 8 through 12.

And if you would like to learn more about the REAL History of Europe, The Pyramids, The Mayans etc...go here:
home.sprynet.com...

Ready for your History Lesson? Read on!

home.sprynet.com...

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the Ocean, and that was called the Pilgrim's Progress.

When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porposies on their back. Many of the Indian heroes were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them.

The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their pacels through the post with- out stamps. During the War, Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.

Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented elec- tricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared "a horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

I truly wish I could Star and Flag this one:

George Washington married Matha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Them the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a sup- posedl insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick Raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis Pastuer discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturailst who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

I have no idea what this one is about but then again, I'm of the older generation.

The First World War, cause by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

reply to post by jude11


Lol this is history bloopers it's written by kids my professor gave me a sheet with a lot of these last semester it was histarical

Originally posted by mb2591
reply to post by jude11

 

Lol this is history bloopers it's written by kids my professor gave me a sheet with a lot of these last semester it was histarical

I'm Canadian and I laughed my @$$ off because even Canadians know more about American History. Actually, the sad part is that we know more about American History than our own.

Sad but true.

Should I laugh or cry after reading this?

reply to post by jude11


While I am laughing outside, I am crying inside. Yep. These are the folk who are to take us into the future. And yet many say they have a better vision for us ol' folk..

Thank God I’ll be dead when they’re my age. (I hope) I am not that old….yet.

It'll be amusing to see how they react to life in their 40's.

Originally posted by ztruthseeker
Should I laugh or cry after reading this?

Laugh til ya cry...

Grade 8-12????

Originally posted by TDawgRex
reply to post by jude11

 

While I am laughing outside, I am crying inside. Yep. These are the folk who are to take us into the future. And yet many say they have a better vision for us ol' folk..

Thank God I’ll be dead when they’re my age. (I hope) I am not that old….yet.

It'll be amusing to see how they react to life in their 40's.

Want a truly scary thought? These little darlings will be occupying the White House some day.

reply to post by jude11


I think they already are. It's all about feelings it seems.

Reality has smacked this Admins fantasy upside the head.

OUCH!