What Has Happened to Men?

Hear me out here guys, and if the women want to put their opinions in this thread, I welcome it. Social Websites. Most of us probably have belonged to one or two, at least in the past sense, right? I do not partake myself, but.

I got with my wife 6 years ago. She came from a unhappy home situation where she was completely controlled, and constantly put down and made fun of. She have never been on a computer, save the ones in school, until she got with me. I recently bought her her own laptop, and with my Netgear Wifi modem she can sit anywhere in the house, or even outside, and go on the internet. My wife wants to have friends. She likes talking to people from other countries, and learning about their culture and ways. She also has a Facebook page, all of her family has a page, and can correspond with them there. My wife always sees the good in another being, never that bad. Now, here is my question, and her problem.

The men she talks to in India, The Gambia, Australia, Canada, always treat her with respect. The American men, are another story altogether. The American men are nice at first, how are you, what are you doing today, then after a few weeks it's, can you send me some nude photos? Please turn on your webcam and show me those? And the questions they ask are downright perverted.

What is it with American men? Some of these guy are married, and have photos of their wives on the page. So tell me, guys, are you all going off the deep end?
All I ask of anyone is to treat her, and respect her the same as I do. I invite stories from you women here, I am sure my wife is not the only one here.

Americans are horny

Well, thats interesting

I thought it depended on the guy actually. Personally, if I was in a relationship, or I was talking in a relationship, I would never send naked pics, or expect any. If I said something like that, it would only be a joke, and only with someone that I knew very well.

But then again, I am an aussie..........

Most girls I talked to that sended me nude pictures we're American and I didn't ask for them. I'm Canadian btw.

I'm not the shy type in bed, but nude pictures of a girl I talk to is kinda of a turnoff if the point was to eventually start a relationship. Maybe I'm macho but I prefer my girlfriends to be shy about showing their naked body, I want to be the only man that sees that. So if I see naked pictures just from chatting, it makes me think that plenty other men saw those pictures already.

There is one girl that I'm pretty sure I was the only one to see those pictures...well at least being the first one lol
I already had a gf at the time, even if things weren't going well, I refused to see her while I had a relationship. I guess those pictures we're to change my mind...omg she was hot, seriously. We actually never got together because she made a boyfriend and me, well, I had another...life eh

edit : typo

Men aren't taught to respect women anymore in America and society is to blame. I guess you can say in some ways chivalry is dead in America. In the me generation their ego takes up so much space that there is no room left to respect or honor another person. Hold a door open for a woman and see some of the reactions they give.

Some people become your friends, others do not, just chuck the fools onto the 'discarded' pile and move along to find some more deserving souls They are out there, inbetween the chaff.

reply to post by buster2010


Chivalry. Now there is something I hold very dear. Be that gentleman for we are a dying bread.

A second of common courtesy goes a very long way! It can turn your whole day around!

Honestly, as a woman, and a married one, I don't think she should even be talking to these guys. I take your point about men from other countries treating her better but the simple fact is that there are easily a million other ways to learn about other cultures or establish some kind of connection other than one on one chat. Social network sites should be entirely locked down and friends only. Also there is a whole generation coming up that has no clue how to handle privacy. It is a fair consideration that some of the people she is talking to could be 13. Seriously. Technology is so accessible in this country that I am aware of more than one 13 year old boy who has various online fantasy personas. If you check out Call of Duty, half those "Marines" on there are actually up past their bedtime. So, some of the immature behaviour might be because there aren't actually adult men involved!

reply to post by xavi1000


We americans'...
1.Are over-sexed.
2.Are over-paid.
3.Are over-weight.
I heard this a long time ago and can't remember where.

I think that the problem isn't what happened to men but it's what happened to society. Men feel the need to constantly show off their women as if they own them. In some respects there has always been this school of thought with regards to how men should treat women. Respect is something forgotten. People think that respect is earned when someone is popular. People feel that they always should get what they want and that if they don't get what they want than they aren't being respected. Essentially, respect in society has turned into who has the most stuff and who has the coolest stuff. It's sad but that's the way I see it. That's why that guy probably put a photo of their wife on the internet. There's nothing wrong about putting photos of your wife on FB though if you guys are doing something together though or something like that.

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by xavi1000

 

We americans'...
1.Are over-sexed.
2.Are over-paid.
3.Are over-weight.
I heard this a long time ago and can't remember where.

During WWII the British men said something very similar about the American army men in their country.

The only thing wrong with Americans is that they...

...are over sexed
...over paid
...and over here.


I'm sure that is the origins of your quote.

reply to post by autowrench


It's not only men that have lost respect for women, women don't respect other women as well, and they both feed off of each other. I know this doesn't apply to all men and all women. But, I have noticed the trend of so many men getting bored and restless more easily (women too) and with technology being so readily available to meet others, that the thrill of temptation and gratification are hard to resist and love for your significant other has become just another controllable emotion. I know so many guys that think that if they can't control their women, they will just end it and move on to the next willing idiot to put up with them. It's a disgusting trend in my opinion. When you have men like Stern that set the bar for men and women in our society by reducing women to how low they are willing to reduce themselves for attention, we all loose and indeed we have. There are so many problems present in this country on so many levels, families can't be families anymore, people can't be human anymore.....people don't have any freaking self control. What has happened to the human soul....anyone know????

reply to post by justsaying


I personally blame the media. The media-- both non-fiction philosophical works and movies treat people as if they were objects to be used to achieve greater personal gain. People need to learn self-respect and then respect for others. I think people are far better off when they're able to have their own individual freedom and they can use that freedom to cooperate with other people rather than using them.

Relationships or friendships where one person is constantly using the other to their own gain don't seem right. People simply don't factor other matters other than themselves into account, and, I think that because that people are taught that's how they should act that's why people don't have respect for others.

Well first I would like to say that I noticed this in many countries other than American. Of course I have noticed it more in America, it happens everywhere. It quite sickening. I usually get along better with men than woman and am always trying to make friends, but it seems after a week or so the guy usually wants more than a friend relationship and it gets pretty frustrating.

But I agree, and not with just men, but woman to, there need to be more of an overall respect for each gender.

It is downright disgusting today how men treat women and growing more common, how women treat men. Gone are the days of the gentleman who would do almost anything to guarantee that his woman, or any woman for that matter, was treated with the utmost respect, honor, and dignity. Men felt compelled to help women, it was part of a long unspoken chivalrous code which was passed down through observation and societal pressure.

Somewhere down the line around the time we threw away half of our cultural norms and values of the past 2 millenniums, the values of honor, virtue, and summarized in chivalry.

Chivalry "is pride aspiring to beauty, and formalized pride gives rise to a conception of honour, which is the pole of noble life." It is no wonder man has slipped into the clutches of barbarism and treachery, look around you even today, how many truly civilized people do you see? Not many. They leave their home and put on a façade for all to see, hiding the truly damned being which lies beneath the surface.

In the 18th Century it was the great philosopher and statesman Edmund Burke of the United Kingdom who not only predicted the horrible aftermath of the French Revolution correctly but also made a dire statement in regards to Europe specifically and the Western world in general:

“But the age of chivalry is gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded; and the glory of Europe is extinguished forever.”

I for one am determined to carry on our noble Western traditions even with the onslaught of peer pressure and popular culture demanding that I accept their social norms. To hell with our present state of things, I like the noble ideas of chivalry and will uphold them no matter what. If only my fellow Americans, even other Westerners, would join me.

It's cultural. Many other cultures have respect for women deeply ingrained.

However, with the womens' lib push in America for decades, and the equality gained, that respect has largely disappeared when coupled with the anonymity of the Internet.

Of course, while it may be MORE of an issue with American men, I'm sure there are plenty of foreign men pulling the same crap. Some nationalities are even FAR worse than the average American male in this regard...

Personally, I'm pretty old school, and believe in the whole chivalry thing, opening doors, etc., etc. but my mother raised me right.

Lets see...

American women teach sons they have no value
American women dress trashing
America is feminized
America teaches being masculing true male is wrong
American women act so fake.
America doesn't care about male issues
American women make fun of any males with issues
American schools don't give a damn about males
In America if a male dies it doesn't matter.
Most American women like the bad boy so men start acting like morons just to get you easy girls

American media and you women shape men into jerks.

Being a man, I can only speak from experience, and in my experience women go for a-hole guys. I used to be incredibly nice, showing respect and treating women with dignity. I did horrible with women.

In the last 6-7 years, I have completely changed. When I'm around women, I act cocky, insult them in a semi-playful way, in general treat them in a way that a reasonable person would NOT want to be treated. And guess what? I have never had more luck with women. Tons of dates, tons of "hook-ups" And all I did was act like a jerk.

So I'll continue to act like a jerk to women, because it WORKS. I can't get a date, or get into bed with a women if i show her respect and kindness. I have to show indifference and a bad attitude, and then I do well.

So maybe the reason there are so many men who are jerks, is because they have learned that, in general, you have much better luck with women if you act like a jerk. Blame your fellow women that only sleep with jerks, if they stop doing that, maybe guys wouldn't be jerks anymore.

reply to post by James1982


Are you sure that you didn't post in the wrong topic? That sounds like something that you should have posted in my topic! Lol. Anyhow, there's nothing wrong with showing women kindness or respect. You just have to show them something more than that in order to get anywhere. Women are just like guys. They are looking for action and excitement. They don't want a doormat that would bore them with their kindness.

reply to post by autowrench


Interesting story. Am surprised at this. I thought all guys behave like that and not just Americans? Just kidding. Personally, I will never ask a respectable lady for her nude pics. If you want bude, there are tons out there so why stalk an innocent lady?

I just can't understand what's going on....