This is for you "men" out there

Originally posted by NuroSlam
So its father's day today and I have to work 18 hours. You do what you have to do to support your children. I try not to mince words and tend to speak my mind.

I'm a single father of a wonderfully bright 6 year old girl that I will give my life for if I need to. When shes here with me, I let her be a kid, something I don't see a lot of parents do any more. Like most little girls, she likes to dress up, the big gaudy jewellery, princess gowns etc. She also likes to play with make-up and nail polish. While I'm not to happy about the whole Disney indoctrination of girls, I am but one of two parents with limited time to instill in her the values that I hold dear.

From the age of four she has put make up on me, painted my nails, put horribly awful looking stuff in my hair with a true sense of glee. Its not uncommon for her to want to walk to the store to get a snack after this happens. Now, after two years I can honestly say I have never dreaded walking out the door like this, I don't care what people think of me one bit so I just roll with it. I do pay attention to the reactions of those around me though, and I find it very amusing. "Men" snicker and giggle like little school girls when I brandish my Tinkerbell wallet she gave me for fathers day 2 years ago. They look at me like I am out of my mind with 6 different colors of nail polish on. In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

The women's reactions are exactly the opposite, they say how cute, how great of a dad I am that I would allow her to do these things and not worry about anyone else's actions. I have in fact scored a couple of dates!

So you think you are a real man, macho and ready to take on the world, but can you set all that aside for a precious little soul that you care and love?

edit on 19-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: (no reason given)

Glad to hear it........=)

reply to post by NuroSlam


You, sir, just earned my very first reply, star, and flag. Kudos to you for being a real man and taking care of your little one. It may be a day late, but Happy Father's Day to you

reply to post by NuroSlam

In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

Why don't you try getting off the pc, and actually do something with her...sounds like you're too busy posting on fathers day to spend time with her....so she resorts to painting your toes while online?

Originally posted by SheeplFlavoredAgain
reply to post by Char-Lee

 

If you measure success by money and status and job title, apparently plenty of people can get all that looking flat out odd and acting flat out weird.

signature:


I don't think this is the majority as when companies are looking for people just out of college they want you to have a clean cut and respectful attitude and appearance.

Well I don't judge success by being on welfare and reproducing each year. I do judge it by learning to stay healthy, fit and happy plus money and a fulfilling career.
These things do lead to a happier healthier and more fulfilling life no matter who says what.

Wow. As a woman who is also a mom, I applaud all men who suffer the fun kiddos have with them! I am a single mom, and my son's father is terrific. There are times when I am reminded of the noble lion male, lounging under a tree on the savanah...with a pesky little cub crawling, snarling, chewing and in all other ways making a pain of itself in absolute security and love. Those teeth that can snap the neck of an antelope instead lift those little kids and move them off the mangled tail, or one huge paw larger than our head swats a wayward offspring with a gentle nudge. This proves that it doesn't matter if you are the most macho man on earth, or the sexiest guy ever, if you can play with your son or daughter no matter what, be it tea parties, dress up, or ninja turtles and mud tag, then you are a TRUE man. Wish my sire had been like that, instead of a bigoted bully the size of a bantam rooster!

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by NuroSlam

 

In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

Why don't you try getting off the pc, and actually do something with her...sounds like you're too busy posting on fathers day to spend time with her....so she resorts to painting your toes while online?

and what part "leaving to go work 18 hours" did you not understand?

Originally posted by NuroSlam

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by NuroSlam

 

In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

Why don't you try getting off the pc, and actually do something with her...sounds like you're too busy posting on fathers day to spend time with her....so she resorts to painting your toes while online?

and what part "leaving to go work 18 hours" did you not understand?

edit on 20-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: im begining to think these people have no clue what discussing a topic is all about

makes no sense...you were on ATS when she was painting your toes...you have to got to work for 18 hours yet you spend your precious time with her bragging about how great of a father you are to ATS..??

What part of "why aren't you paying more attention to your daughter" don't you understand? You complain you have to work 18 hours a day..yet on fathers day when you have time to actually spend with her..you spend your day online bragging about how she paints your toes,then you go to the store together. How much time did you spend online on fathers day arguing about what a great dad you were??

SEE..it is all about you...isn't it?

reply to post by NuroSlam


What exactly is your point?
You claim to not care what anyone else thinks... but then why start the thread in the first place?
Looking to "score" some more dates?

Originally posted by NuroSlam

Originally posted by FoxStriker
IT'S about him wanting to be reasured that he's a man... thats it. He want revenge for being mocked by other men...

and no offence to the OP, but thats not a definition of a real man in any situation... its the last refuge of a coward... To insult other men who are not like you... which is the very arguement he's argueing. Thats Sad

I have no need to be reassured that I am a man in any way, shape or form, I merely gave an example of letting go of that all to often dangerous idea of being a "real" man and going with the flow. All to often men think its "queer" to just be in the moment. It doesn't surprise me that non reasoning people don't see how such a simple statement on a thread could lead someone to think "well, why wouldn't a man do this with his daughter?". The fact that some took it as some sort of personal attack speaks more about them then anything.

Now, for anyone who thinks I'm some sort of coward, latent homosexual, secret cross dresser or any of the other things you want or have called me, I know without a doubt that in person you would know immediately that you are wrong. Civility is sorely lacking in a few people. I'm not in my twenties, nor even my thirties, I'm rather old to be a father of a 6 year old, considering the life span of men in my family. I know that I will be lucky to see her become an adult let alone having grandchildren.

You all are more then welcome to take your best shot at me, but in the end you are no one to me, even less after some of the exchanges here. Now maybe you don't like my writing style, fair enough don't read it.

Your right, I don't like your writing style... it's egotistical and defensive. And if I'm no one to you than why am I worthy of such a long and well thought out defensive response? seems like what I said cut deep, truth usually does that.

but lets add the part your decided to leave out when you responded

Sad? You have got to be kidding me... did you even read the post in its entirety...

HIS POST IS NOT ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH HIS DAUGHTER OR ANYTHING REGARDING HER. the OP mentions his daughter because he want to justify his arguement. Hell, its not even about being a father on fathers day.

this is true because you set up your arguement (yes thats what it is) and ended it with a question, no?

well you got your responses, its what you asked for. So some of them were not what you expected... ok, be a man and deal with it.

and what I wrote was in response to another poster, its what I believe your were trying to do, I have no doubt that your a good father and I don't think your a queer... don't remember ever saying that, next time just don't ask to take on all commers... because you might just get what you want.

P.S. Although the Tinkerbell Wallet does leave somethings to the imagination of the reader.

awesome! I do the same for my two little girls!!! nice to know there are real men and fathers out there!!! Keep it up, our memories will last a lifetime and beyond!

Well, there is ONE little girl in the world who won't be getting knocked up at 16 trying to find the love her daddy never gave her.

Kudos to you, sir. I wish more dads were like this. I wish my dad had been, and I wish my husband was more like this, too.

reply to post by Char-Lee


Not arguing with that, CharLee. I dress clean cut and professional myself and so does my husband. Just saying there are some mighty odd looking folks at the top! And beyond that, I kind of lost the drift of what I've been talking about in this thread. I'm kind of distracted, wondering when and if Discovery Channel is going to release the footage of Cadborosauruses they are allegedly sitting on. (I'm not usually on this part of ATS, I like Fragile Earth and the Cryptozoology sections, and sometimes paranormal best). I am always a bit shellshocked and surprised when I wander over and end up in this section. My daughter and her friends are into dinosaurs and we've gotten interested in researching reports of Dino sightings in modern times.

So with that, I bid this thread adieu. To all my fellow parents, my best advice is the one handed down to me by my grandma who passed away at a few weeks shy of one hundred...cultivate a sense of humor and it will get you and your family through a lot. My personal picks to get me in a funny frame of mind are Erma Bombeck and Douglass Adams, especially his HitchHiker's Guide series. What I like about their brand of humor and how it serves me well as a parent is that it's gentle non edgy humor and they show you how to step back from even the most tense or disheartening or aggravating situations and find something to at least smile about. Yes, dear Erma is quite dated, rest her soul, but some of her observations on parenthood are timeless and still funny.

A lot of times when I am about to hurl some rough words at hubby or kids, I step back and explode in a poof of goofiness instead. Love and laughter soon follows.

reply to post by gabby2011


Yes, your right, there is no possibility of there being a time lapse between her painting my toes, posting to the original thread or any chance of a time difference from the posting to writing the threads OP. You really don't think things out at all.
But since you are so interested in critiquing my life, she had been reading a book so I got online she stopped reading and asked to paint my toes so I said yes and continued posting the article. the next day as I was writing this threads OP I was killing time before work.

reply to post by FoxStriker

Actually, no one who has been playing this name calling game has really answered the question, what they have been doing is telling me its/or I am wrong, destructive, indecent, spoiling or showing latent tendency's and no real reason why. Is it really so hard to say "you know, I wouldn't have a tea party with my daughter because i think it might give my daughter the wrong idea about father daughter relationships, I think it might lead her to believe that she should seek out a "daddy" instead of a "husband". that would be an answer to the question as opposed to "you scum bag, your really just saying all men should be cross dressers" It wasn't about the nail painting, it was about the stereotypical male image, As I can only speak for myself I used the example of actually the only thing I could think of that I have done that is not according to those pretending to discuss the issue that it is not a stereotypical male thing to do

reply to post by HabeasCorpus

I don't care what people think about me personally, I am however interested in how people view a variety of issues. This just happened to be one of them, as to why they would or would not do something like play dolls, have a tea party etc with their daughter.

Originally posted by NuroSlam
reply to post by gabby2011

 

Yes, your right, there is no possibility of there being a time lapse between her painting my toes, posting to the original thread or any chance of a time difference from the posting to writing the threads OP. You really don't think things out at all.
But since you are so interested in critiquing my life, she had been reading a book so I got online she stopped reading and asked to paint my toes so I said yes and continued posting the article. the next day as I was writing this threads OP I was killing time before work.

edit on 21-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: (no reason given)

nope..it was fathers day the day you spent so much time arguing about how great a father you were...no more back peddling now.

Originally posted by ColoradoJens
reply to post by gncnew

 

I thought your post was interesting considering your signature.

CJ

I have two kids...

Originally posted by NuroSlam
So you think you are a real man, macho and ready to take on the world, but can you set all that aside for a precious little soul that you care and love?

edit on 19-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: (no reason given)

what you are referring to there, "set all THAT aside" 'THAT' = ego

you are fluently capable of ignoring ego for the sake of you daughters joy, good job

just wanted to point out what so many fail to recognize is that the urge not to embarass yourself in front of others, that urge for acceptance from people, its all ego.

Originally posted by Schkeptick
Well, there is ONE little girl in the world who won't be getting knocked up at 16 trying to find the love her daddy never gave her.

Kudos to you, sir. I wish more dads were like this. I wish my dad had been, and I wish my husband was more like this, too.

and how can you be so sure of this?

many 16 year olds get knocked up because they get horny..has nothing to do with looking for daddy love

reply to post by pryingopen3rdeye

just wanted to point out what so many fail to recognize is that the urge not to embarass yourself in front of others, that urge for acceptance from people, its all ego.

yes..and so is willfully looking for any kind of attention.