Judge has harsh words for Mom before sentencing her for spanking her kid

So far from doing almost seven years of this, what I learned about parenting is that you have to have limits and boundaries and respect for others for yourself to live up to. Then you have to verbally communicate these things you believe to your children from the very beginning even before you think they can understand. And set the example for yourself.

How you then reinforce the rules and boundaries is sometimes a matter of experimenting to see what works, and you know, it is okay to discuss with your kid that you don't always know the best way to get the message across. My daughter knows I spank but my husband absolutely does not believe in it. She understands even since the tender age of five that parenting is not an exact science. She knows we love her and have important lessons to get across. At the end of the day it is that knowledge that gives her security. She is not going to be traumatized and resentful I used to swat her a few. Nor is she going to think her dad is a pushover because he doesn't spank. We are consistent in applying punishment for breaking rules, and that is what works, even if the method of punishment itself has not been consistent.

I do like the other parent here, sorry I forget the exact user name, Dr Strange...something...I sometimes discuss what the best punishment should be. That gets her to understanding it is not an arbitrary inflicting of my will and authority on her, but a process I put a lot of thought into because I believe the end result is an important and desired one. If she tries to take the easy way out I ask her does she honestly believe that is the best and most fair choice? She admits every time she picked the easy punishment and we grin at each other and work out something more fitting.

We also have let her put us in timeout or give me a little swat on my bum for my unfortunate habit of letting some swear words fly. I know that sounds crazy to some parents but it's one of those things we are experimenting with and see where it takes us. As I said, parenting is not an exact science. You have to sometimes go with your gut or your imagination and adjust as you go along and reap the results. I think we are doing a good job as parents, but only time will tell and the end result will have to speak for itself someday. Please wish us good luck, and I wish all my friends here on ATS the same raising their kids or the kids they will have someday. Have a great weekend, everyone.

reply to post by newcovenant


yeah i agree with that whole heartedly id be willing to bet all the Israeli government was spanked and look how they behalved they learned from an early age that using force to get what they want worked and look at them now(mainly ment as a horrible example)....my parents used to spank me tell i picked up a 10 pound toy car and chucked it at my father and told him he was teaching me violence solved my problems, i didnt wanan be hit so i was using violence to stop his violence and let me tell you he hasn't tried to spank or hit me since because he was so blown away with the fact of what he realized he was doing to me and in effect what he was teaching me.whats that old saying violence begets violence sorry for the rant but i felt i needed to share my personal experience on the matter (and im a 26 year old home owner who lives off savings and takes care of his family so i definitely turned out ok

reply to post by Pervius


its allreay been stated numerious times it was her kid but she didnt have custody of it the grandmother did thats why the lady got 5 years probation not jail time.also she was given said probation for leaving marks that lasted long enough for a doctor to see and keep in mind this child is two....what could compell a person to beat there two year old soo hard that it leaves marks a doctor can see hours if not days after the event?

Originally posted by HolyandClean
reply to post by dr_strangecraft

 

Romans 13:9

King James Version (KJV)

9For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Those 2 great commandments are the 10 commandments summed up! You cannot love a stranger physically.. that's stupid.

I think you really should think yourself about what is wrong and what is right (empathy) and not let any religion book dictacte what your behavior should be.
Will you kill for your religion ?

Yep i agree with the above post , that is the micro system in work.
People perpetuate what the system make them do on their own familly / relative.
But im happy that some of us are awake.
Sometime im sad for my parent , im sad how they see life especialy my mother, shes doesnt understand the meaning of life outside the work .She think the work is her purpose it her life

For people that said it was better before , when they could slap you at the school and stuff , i will said that they were probably more murder rate during this era .
You have to take as well the fact the demography has greatly increased since this time.
And again for people that said that they were taught to respect older people .
I think it totaly wrong , the respect should be mutual whatever the age of the person .
If the person doesnt respect you dont respect it.
I saw totaly disrespectcfull old person that skip the queue ,push you withouth apoligizing amongst other think, people can be old and still be totaly dumb believe me age has nothing to do with respect.
Being older doesnt make your right only for that for the fact you could make mistake , and slap the wrong kid (happen to me with my brother doing stuff and me getting slap for him) only for that you shouldnt use slapping to punish your kid.

Originally posted by KilrathiLG
reply to post by newcovenant

 

yeah i agree with that whole heartedly id be willing to bet all the Israeli government was spanked and look how they behalved they learned from an early age that using force to get what they want worked and look at them now(mainly ment as a horrible example)

HAHAhahaha... Spanking in Israel was outlawed in 2000 AD.

But maybe you can think of another group you despise and use them as an example.


In Greece, spanking has been illegal since world war II; and now they cannot even balance a checkbook.
See, that's where liberalism gets you.

hugs.

reply to post by dolphinfan


give me a break. and we wonder why kids today are so out of control.

Originally posted by Horza
reply to post by RisenAngel77

 

How much talking did you do with your parents?

How much time did they take to explain things?

How much respect and understanding did they give you?

Was it "My House, My rules" from your father?

How much of your "rebellion" was because they were too strict with you and it made you react in the opposite direction?

Ever heard of Denis the menace? I used to throw rocks at passing cars with my friends, I used to sneak out at mid night at age 13 and head to the woods and shoot paintballs at random house windows. No amount of talking would work, and my parents are loving parents, if anything i'd say they spoiled me too much. If anything I hated the sermons more than the actual spanking. The sermons just made me even more rebellious if you ask me.

What made me think the other way was when my dad grabbed the belt a day a friend of mine got shot and killed. I was gonna go hang out with him that same day but my dad intervened. If my dad hadnt done what he did I would have been laying dead in the basketball court along with my friend.

reply to post by dolphinfan


This judge should get his butt spanked.This is only one more time that shows all the parents that the government is wanting to raise your kids.If any1 has young children in public grade school you already understand what im talking about.
Children are being programed to turn parents in for anything they deem bad.I got turned in to social services for grounding my daughter for a month.Said that was a form of abuse.After i told them to get lost i ended up in court.Never did any one ask why she was grounded for so long until a judge asked.Told him she got caught shop lifting,shes only 13 also.I told judge that the police just gave her a 50$ ticket and that was it.So i thought she needed more punishment.I also said that the courts should deal with all the druggies in our town and let me deal with my daughter on my own.He agreed and tossed there case against me out.
This is just wrong.What rite does the government have to get so involved with our lives?

reply to post by dr_strangecraft


thats why i said the isralie thing was a joke i just figured (from what ive seen on this site) it might give some people some laughs

although in all seriousness i didnt know the thing about them banning spankings since then so thanks for teaching me something i didnt know its what i realy love about this site is at the very least through all the arguments that go on here knowlege is shared and given usualy freely to eachother the true spirt of ats thank you

heres the link to the wikipedia article on spankings en.wikipedia.org... for any that were interested

This judge is a moron. Don't get me wrong I'm not into beating a child but, spanking worked for many years and still would. These bleeding heart idiots need to wake up.

Originally posted by HolyandClean
reply to post by CRDDD

 

I doubt that, I bet you are just making up what you just said. Most kids that go without being disciplined turn out to be complete and total brats. Read below.

"Of course, we’re not suggesting that parents should somehow abuse their children or beat them to a pulp. But moderate spanking on their bottom with some infliction of discomfort, has been, and will always be a vital means of correcting children. It was a significant mistake to ever remove it from our public school system. The lack of discipline is one of the greatest problems in today’s school rooms, and has contributed to a general disregard of authority and chaos in our land. The statistics seem to show that the abundance of crime in our nation is largely a result of the lack of loving parental role models and effective discipline in the home." - Dr. Dale A. Robbins

Discipline

Get out of my face.. I don't care for your opinion, I only care about FACTS.

edit on 18-6-2011 by HolyandClean because: (no reason given)

edit on 18-6-2011 by HolyandClean because: change

So because I say I respect old people and my parents, it means I'm a liar? That's pretty ridiculous. You might not realize this, but not all parents have to use violence to raise their children right. Just because YOUR PARENTS were like that doesn't mean my parents were.

And you care about FACTS? That's an utterly silly claim, since in alot of your posts, you talk about stuff that has no facts supporting it. It is not a fact that fornication is a sin.

Oh, and edit: quit putting words into my mouth. I NEVER said I went without being disciplined. I was disciplined quite often, actually. My parents just didn't use violence and pain to discipline me.

P.S. I'd just like everyone to look at this guy's post. He immediately started out by accusing me of being a liar because I said something that doesn't go along with what he said, then proceeded to say he doesn't care about my opinion. This behavior, unfortunately, is typical of hardcore fundies.

This is so un-believable, spanking a child for doing something bad, teaches the child that he/she isn't supposed to do that..

What else is there to do..? Send em' to their room full of TV's, X-boxes, PC's and comic books..lol

Actually I reackon the way things are going, sending a kid to their room will soon be a felony too..

Pretty soon Americans will be getting jail sentences for farting in a public place..lol

Parents should be allowed to spank their children for the sake of discipline. It has worked for centuries up until now. When you hear about rebellious teens and whatnot, this is the result of labeling every minor incident 'child abuse'. Observe and learn...

Originally posted by wolfwood290
Parents should be allowed to spank their children for the sake of discipline. It has worked for centuries up until now. When you hear about rebellious teens and whatnot, this is the result of labeling every minor incident 'child abuse'. Observe and learn...

How do you know it has worked ?
Because people doing it ,mean it has worked before ?
For me it just like , dont speak when you are dinning , dont put your elbow on the table , all of this is just nonsense passed from father to son.
But really try to think about it a minute.

As a 24 year old parent of a 2 year old, I can say I spank my child when deemed necessary. I was raised in a military family where nonsense was NOT tolerated. No ifs, ands, or buts. I can also admit that my generation and those after are in trouble because of our lack of consequence. I see plenty of kids out and about acting out in public, saying horrific things to their parents. My son not only knows better, but I know better. It's a shame that parents can no longer be parents. That's why I won't be having any more children.

This is why parents and teachers call the cops on kids now, and why people bitch and complain that the cops were called on their kids for transgressions that in the day would have been simple things for authority figures to deal with.

Parents and teachers are terrified of being charged with crap like this, and leave it up to the law to deal with kids now.

Once the law has been called to deal with a situation, mandatory minimums apply. This is why you're seeing the police called for kids sticking gum under desks, and for defacing school property.

Originally posted by newBodyoldSoul
As a 24 year old parent of a 2 year old, I can say I spank my child when deemed necessary. I was raised in a military family where nonsense was NOT tolerated. No ifs, ands, or buts. I can also admit that my generation and those after are in trouble because of our lack of consequence. I see plenty of kids out and about acting out in public, saying horrific things to their parents. My son not only knows better, but I know better. It's a shame that parents can no longer be parents. That's why I won't be having any more children.

Since when do people spank 2 year olds? I accept that mild violence like spanking is fine when it's absolutely necessary, but violence of any kind against a 2 year old? Eh, it doesn't jive well with me.

LOL. This sounds like a joke.

Honestly, I think spanking is the best form of discipline for kids. It hurts only enough to get the point across- then they're back to running around wildly right afterward.

Spanking is necessary for children while they are toddling and a few years after.

Discipline is MORE important for the parent than the child - as in- never discipline
in anger.

Face it folks, you are raising children to live in the world we have created. You are teaching
them what to expect in life--what you can get away with, and what you cannot. You want them to
understand and have experienced pain, joy, triumph, and sorrow, all in little doses so that you
can guide their responses into the ~normal~ range.

My grandkids MIND me (but not their parents) because I popped their @sses for telling me
NO and disobeying me from a very young age. And they love and respected that.

I see parents of children SO FRUSTRATED with a child's behavior that they have actually given
control over THEIR emotions to the child.

If you find yourself in this situation, then you should have spanked, and it is probably too late to
rectify.

Time-outs and grounding are for children who have reached the age of reason.

Spank early, not in anger, and use other disciplines like reward and denial as they get older

Every child is different, and needs a different approach.

Parenting is not easy, you CANNOT be lazy. You HAVE TO BE consistent. The little
ones you are raising are just like you. They come into this world kicking and screaming
and trying to understand the parameters of the little flesh and blood robot that they are
occupying. It is your job to guide them. If corporal punishment will keep them safe
then use it.

Don't be the parent who allows a child to tell them NO, and then watch in horror as the child
disobeys and pulls a boiling pot down on their head, or sneaks outside and falls into the pool
or runs into traffic, or stick metal objects in wall sockets, or...ad infinitum

Sorry this post is so full of fragmented thought...

reply to post by CRDDD


How did your parents discipline you? What, in your opinion, worked best to get your attention and keep you out of major trouble? I'm all ears. No, I'm not asking to provoke you. I mean it, I'm raising a kid. I'm always open to hints and suggestions. It seems like you respect your folks and have a good relationship with them and like how things turned out. So I thought I'd ask, see if I can learn something that has not even occurred to me yet.