Judge has harsh words for Mom before sentencing her for spanking her kid

spanking not good at all.
Violence is the easiest way , it easy to beat down somebody when you are not happy with something you dont need balls for that .
My parent did it to me often , and now im violent myself i suprised myself doing the same # on the dog of my brother.
Im violent with my gf and the people i know and i like to be beaten , i like to fight , im a bit sadist it like a drug for me it only in the inner circle of my relation not something you will see on me from outside .
imho Use your brain instead of your muscle when you try to teach your kids (it harder for sure).
And for the young people , i guess the media doesnt help them , they are like dumbed down and when they ask you something they think it due because advertissement are providing stuff to them the same way.
Another thing i see is the parent just dont give a damn about their kid and dont give them any example , crossing the red ligth ,skipping the queue on the shop , not beeing polite when somebody say hello and a lot of thing that unfortunately wont help to teach some sort of discipline for a mutual respect of other people.

reply to post by dolphinfan


I know someone who was a babysitter. Some of the kids had parents who used spanking. Others did not. The ones who were spanked tended to behave much better and didn't have any mental health issues whatsoever. The ones that had very little discipline were sometimes "problem kids" who did not behave well and were not as mature.

The idea that you can use reason on a toddler is ridiculous. When someone cannot understand more than five words, you're not going to be able to "talk them out of it". After a child can understand English, spanking is not necessary for discipline. But other times when they cannot understand reason, spanking is a good idea that should be used.

Also, different children respond to spanking differently. Some children can't handle spankings. Some children can't seem to deal with time-outs. So, as an independent observer, I feel qualified to say people who believe spanking is a crime tend to have listless brats for kids, and their future will no doubt be diminished as a result.

I remember one case where the parent didn't discipline their child very well, and the babysitter did discipline the child well using an appropriate combination of spankings and time-outs. (Presumably no spankings by the time he was 8 when real problems started). I only knew the child with the babysitter and he seemed like a very nice, well behaved kid. Then one day I'm told that he was being threatened with suspension from school... at something like age 8(!) for behavior reasons. Turns out he is a terror both with his mother and with the school, but would turn into a totally different kid when he was with the babysitter. Wow, what a difference discipline can make.

The method used with discipline isn't even remotely as important as the fact that discipline is used. Therefore its a much greater "crime" to not discipline at all than to discipline the wrong way. Am I to believe that the parent of the child who who didn't properly discipline her child should have faced a felony charge for bad discipline? Of course not! Yet much more harm was done to the child by that than by the nonsense "spanking is bad" non-harm done by the babysitter in question.

The state thinks they OWN our children. And by and large they are right... they regularly seize our children without a trial. The state is a horrific monster mafia gang that is raging out of control. The US is not a free country. Its a country of slaves and the government OWNS our children.

Originally posted by cyberether
spanking not good at all.
Violence is the easiest way , it easy to beat down somebody when you are not happy with something you dont need balls for that .
My parent did it to me often , and now im violent myself i suprised myself doing the same # on the dog of my brother.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a guess about your "spankings" and you tell me whether I'm right or wrong. A discipline spanking is a spanking designed to let you know something you did was wrong and your behavior should change. An irate beating is designed to relieve stress and let you know your parents are pissed at you. I'm going to guess what you got was actually irate beatings... not a discipline spanking. Do you see what I'm saying? Your parents I believe simply hit you because they were mad at you... not because they thought it was an intelligent way to improve your behavior. Huge difference. So, am I right?

One can tell the kids who were not spanked when they were children.. You know, the kids who were not "abused with spankings". They walk down the side of the road every once in a while, and when you see them, you can tell right away, that they were never spanked.

Originally posted by civilchallenger
I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a guess about your "spankings" and you tell me whether I'm right or wrong. A discipline spanking is a spanking designed to let you know something you did was wrong and your behavior should change. An irate beating is designed to relieve stress and let you know your parents are pissed at you. I'm going to guess what you got was actually irate beatings... not a discipline spanking. Do you see what I'm saying? Your parents I believe simply hit you because they were mad at you... not because they thought it was an intelligent way to improve your behavior. Huge difference. So, am I right?

yes but it has probably started to discipline me and it slip to that , that why its not good to spank or use any violence with anybody exept if it save your live..

reply to post by dolphinfan


When my son was younger for discipline we would put him in a chair and have him sit there for five minutes without leaving the chair or talking and have him think about what he did that was wrong....after the 5 minutes was up we would then talk about it and help him to understand what was wrong and what is correct.

This worked very well....and today he is happy and well adjusted.

If spanking is never acceptable, how do you teach a child to stay out of the road?

I contend, as a parent with many children (all from the same woman), that a pre-school child doesn't have a developed sense of time and consequence.

By the time you march them into the house and make them sit on the "naughty mat" or in the "time out chair," they have forgotten what they are being punished for.

The parenting gurus say that the child should never get more than one minute of time-out for every year of age. So, what happens when a two-year-old keeps unlocking the front door(!) and going out to the street to wave at cars? It takes a minute to collar them, a minute to march them into the house (more likely, to carry them kicking and screaming) and then set them on the naughty mat. Oops, two minutes are up.

An intelligent child quickly learns to CONTROL the adult, by acting out, then making you drop everything and supervise the time-out punishment. They start a fist-fight with the other kids while you are on the phone. All to make you hang up and give them the attention they want.

Likewise, the child learns they can punish YOU by acting up in a restaurant, then you have to leave the meal and go sit with them in the car---thus ending the meal and you go straight home without continuing the boring adult conversation---which was the child's actual goal in the first place.

Spanking short-circuits their attempts to control you.

Spanking should not be your only or even primary, source of discipline. But to say you'll never use it is like saying you're going to build a house without ever using a saw. You can do it, but it takes longer and doesn't give you the best end-result.

Originally posted by Greensage
I am absolutely floored! We can kill adults but we cannot spank a child?

This has got to stop! It is high time punishment for wrong-doing becomes the norm! Personally I would pull that Judge's pants down and spank him myself! Publicly!

The reason why we kill adults is because we spank children.

All the terrible things that happen in this world is a direct result of the thousands of years of child abuse that we as a species have and are still inflicting on our young.

There is no level of physical violence that is acceptable for a adult to use on a child as a method of discipline.

"I got spanked when I was young and I turned out just fine" What utter garbage ... I refuse to settle for mediocracy for my children

So many people here say that the younger generations are out of control and have no respect because they are not being spanked enough ... what absolute and utter garbage.

It is us adults that do not have the emotional maturity to communicate with our younger generations that is the problem.

It is us adults that demand respect rather than earning it that is the problem.

A child does not owe a parent anything just because we gave birth to a child or raised a child.

It is our obligation to them, it is our duty to our kids to raise them with love, compassion, patience and understanding and to never, ever raise our hand in anger.

To anyone who spanks, will spank or has spanked their children ... grow up

You want discipline? discipline yourself not to hurt your children.

Its time to take ourselves out of the shadow of our ancestors.

Originally posted by civilchallenger

Originally posted by cyberether
spanking not good at all.
Violence is the easiest way , it easy to beat down somebody when you are not happy with something you dont need balls for that .
My parent did it to me often , and now im violent myself i suprised myself doing the same # on the dog of my brother.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a guess about your "spankings" and you tell me whether I'm right or wrong. A discipline spanking is a spanking designed to let you know something you did was wrong and your behavior should change. An irate beating is designed to relieve stress and let you know your parents are pissed at you. I'm going to guess what you got was actually irate beatings... not a discipline spanking. Do you see what I'm saying? Your parents I believe simply hit you because they were mad at you... not because they thought it was an intelligent way to improve your behavior. Huge difference. So, am I right?

i'm siding with this guy(gal) here. if your parents BEAT you, they crossed the line between discipline and abuse. discipline goes something like this....
~parent observes toddler sticking object into light socket~
"toddler, dont stick (object) into light socket, that socket is dangerous, it can hurt you"
~as parent pulls toddler away from socket~
~minutes later, toddler back at it again~
~seconds later, parent sees toddler, back at the shenanigans~
~spanks toddlers hand~
"Toddler, i told you NOT to touch that, it can hurt you, listen to(parent) when i warn you..." or whatever phrase to that effect.

if the toddler understands that the the socket can hurt, and that not minding the parents in that matter can hurt, but still does it and experiences the shock(of the socket) after the spank of not minding the parent. the toddler will understand both.

kids are smart and curious.

beatings are a different matter. while a spanking can end up a beating if the parent loses sight of the lesson, most parents i know of just try to reinforce a lesson, if all other options have been exhausted.

When spanking is the ONLY way:

When a little boy hits his sister.

By putting him in the time-out chair or naughty mat, you are teaching HER that that boys can get away with being violent toward women, and that she really isn't worth defending in a physical way.

You are teaching her that it is normal for men to brutalize her.

And when you focus on time spent on him and his punishment, you are communicating that his status as an offender merits more adult attention than does her own status as victim.

All I gotta say is this: Dont frikkin tell me how to raise MY kids, if my son needs a spanking, hes gonna get it!
This is why you have so many youthful offenders out there, no discipline in the home, parents not doing the right thing
ALL: children need a whuippin now and then, I got my licks, but I deserved EVERY ONE OF THEM! I thqank myt stepdad for it nowadays, I'm a better person for it

Oh by the way, whats changed from the time most of us have been kids to kids of today? NOTHING! Kids are still kids!!!

Completely ridiculous.

Although I'm not really one to speak on this manner as I don't have kids myself but I know growing up as a kid I definitely deserved some actions of discipline but never got them. It wasn't that I was disrespectful but I got involved with the wrong people and made a lot of stupid mistakes growing up in which I learned from doing but if I had been disciplined or been more obedient to my parents I could have avoided a lot of them. There was a sense of too much love when appropriate consequences should have been dealt. Sometimes it's the only way to get the message across as difficult as it may seem.

I totally agree though, kids nowadays are much more disrespectful, pretentious, and inconsiderate in manner. Not all of them, but a good portion and I bet that a lack of discipline or attention can be accounted for that.

reply to post by dr_strangecraft


So it is only okay to spank boys?

Good thing we are teaching equality to the children .

I for one thank my parents for their spanking. I was a very rebelius child back then. if they hadnt done what they did, I either would be in prison because i never knew better, i would have turned up dead somewhere or someone would have kidnapped me as a child because i would have not held respect for my parents if they didnt use this method.

Sure there are better ways to resolve issues, but sometimes a spank is the only way to get a kid to stay put. Would you rather let your kid lose and something bad happens to him or discipline him?

reply to post by HomerinNC


No ... you are a worse person for it.

You now hit your child and justify it because your parents hit you.

This is the the problem with the world.

I don't expect you to understand it or admit it ... but it is the truth.

I ask you this:

Can your child spank you if you do something wrong?

Yes or no?

Originally posted by peck420
reply to post by dr_strangecraft

 

So it is only okay to spank boys?

Good thing we are teaching equality to the children

.

I never said that. So it's ok to put words in your mouth?

I think it can be useful to spank aggressors of either gender. My own experience is that boys tend to use more physical violence, which I why I used the genders I did in my example. Maybe it's different at your house.

reply to post by dr_strangecraft


Spanking someone for hitting someone is so illogical it would make Spock implode.

You are abusing your son for abusing his sister

Originally posted by Horza
reply to post by HomerinNC

 

I ask you this:

Can your child spank you if you do something wrong?

Yes or no?

Yes. My wife spanked me in front of the children when I threw a football in the house and broke a glass heirloom. The rules at our house are for everyone, not just children. And when they said, "Ommmm, Daddy was rough-housing! He get's a spanking!" she followed through. Three swats with the ping-pong paddle.

She leaned into it, too.

And not in a joking way, either...I haven't thrown anything since.

reply to post by RisenAngel77


How much talking did you do with your parents?

How much time did they take to explain things?

How much respect and understanding did they give you?

Was it "My House, My rules" from your father?

How much of your "rebellion" was because they were too strict with you and it made you react in the opposite direction?

Originally posted by Horza
reply to post by dr_strangecraft

 

Spanking someone for hitting someone is so illogical it would make Spock implode.

You are abusing your son for abusing his sister

Teach me how to do it right then.

He's a toddler, by the way. Do you have kids? Do you know that children are not vulcans? That' their drives are emotional and not primarily based upon the scientific method. He never hits his older brothers (they'd retaliate behind our backs if he did.)