posted on Jun, 15 2011 @ 05:11 PM
I am not a skilled writer, my grammar is poor. I have not learned to write well because I refused to be taught, my english teachers claimed I must be
cheating when I did writing assignments and this for many reasons lead me to reject there teachings because it was untrue, I never falsified any of my
work. now I could blab on about this for a while but I do not have the technical skills to communicate my depth and knowledge across without boring
you or sounding like a fool I have clarity of all things if I want it.
I do not even have the skills to convey the emotions, my vocabulary is far too lackluster to portray these events in full. this is as best I can do,
for now. I will with dedication re learn from scratch the fundamentals of english. and how to express oneself with language.
I broke my heart. not by someone else but by me, I sent the woman I love away and broke her heart and in turn mine has broken mine. The reasons I gave
her are now not true, they were true before, but now they are not, I can see clearly so clearly, it is me, for i could not allow her into my life
because my higher self knew I was changing quickly. destined to break her heart. I didn't see this before but I do know.
I have been extremely sensitive towards peoples energies (I know but I have terrible vocab and it hard to explain) I am living with two negative
energies and it's draining me, I can feel it. these two friends i have no resent at them on any level everything that arises negatively is because of
me. I did not see this clearly until now. I was angry, I yelled at them, but they did not deserve it, I was angry at me I just did not know it. deeper
still i can read the energies i can feel there thoughts and fears I couldn't feel them before but I can now.
I have a very open home letting most people come and go as they please. I host 'couch surfers' but I would only select the world travelers, no
distinction on age race sex. every person I have even been angry with or hold a cluster of negative energy for. that is no more i feel nothing but
my current friends and family will not understand why I will decide to move away from here.alas that is because i am different I have not changed but
the clarity of my being I now know. i must pursue the study of being there is nothing else in the world I want more. but I fear i have to forget for
now as my vibrations settle and as before in my life whenever I get close I slam it closed, with alcohol, with drugs.. just negative thoughts. oh boy
how wrong was I about these tricky things they had me thinking i was expanding my mind, but no no how wrong I was. astounding some of the things we
put ourselves through to reach this state, it is a yearning for everything we are all drawn towards the same thing,
i felt slight throbbing in my forehead all for most of the day, only after realising what it was that all I had to do was accept it and then bang I
started seeing so easy. how far i was getting I got scared never I have gotten that far before colours dots wow what a rush. I am on no drugs at the
moment. but I am about to be. just some THC I have to close this away again, but not for long. wowo what a rush.
I can not keep shutting this away, this is why I am posting here. let it be known I only have seen clarity in my previous self and interactions with
others, whatever I thought about deeply I just saw clear as clear could be.
I did not open my third eye but it peaked or at least that is a way to describe it and i like what i see. i am so happy. to be.
either I am suffering from schizophrenia or this is actually happening to me. i think my broken heart has forced what ever chakras are involved in
this i am not aware to begin to communicate or become active.
-for your entertainment and discussion.