An atheist parent

Originally posted by cassp83
After a long time of searching & questioning, I would have to say that my husband and I consider ourselves agnostic....leaning towards atheism.

We are both 100% comfortable with this, and do not feel the need to 'hide' it from people. But at the same time, we don't go out shoving it in everyone else's face.

It's very confusing living in a predominantly Christian area of the country, and having grown up Catholic...I really just don't know how to answer these questions from my kids. What about around Christmas time they start asking more questions...I don't know whether to ignore the questions, address them with what I believe is the 'truth' or teach them a little bit of Christianity even though we don't believe in it at all.

What do you do? What would you do?

When we were children, my sisters and me, my father was an atheist, and my mother an agnostic. (We are/were in New Zealand, a secular country, so it was no big deal.)
They said they wanted us to "make up our own minds when we were older", but sent us to the Sunday school at the Presbyterian church where my mother had social connections.
My advice is, let your children know what you believe, and continue as you are doing, by saying "some people believe that"...
When I was 5 and hadn't yet been to Sunday school, I asked my father to tell me about God. (Where I had got the concept, I don't know). He simply said "I don't know" and then told me I would learn when I got to Sunday school.
That being said, as a Christian and a single mother, I tried to bring my sons up immersed in Christianity. Now, they're agnostic, which is fine with me, because they have the information, and if they're anything like my sisters, my brother and me, they will change their views (possibly several times!:lol as they get older.

Originally posted by cassp83
After a long time of searching & questioning, I would have to say that my husband and I consider ourselves agnostic....leaning towards atheism.

We are both 100% comfortable with this, and do not feel the need to 'hide' it from people. But at the same time, we don't go out shoving it in everyone else's face.

Our kids are 4 1/2 & 5 1/2 years old now & after a short stint in a Christian preschool......the quesions have been coming! For now, we have been answering the "Who is Jesus" type questions with a "Some people believe that......" type of response. But, I feel I should be doing more. Part of me feels 'wrong' to tell them that Christianity is all a ruse, but part of me feels 'wrong' for telling them about Jesus as if it were fact.

I also struggle with this beacuse as they get older, I want to be able to give them something to turn to when there is nothing else. Do you think drawing would be a good way to have them work through problems? And when they get older, they could journal?

It's very confusing living in a predominantly Christian area of the country, and having grown up Catholic...I really just don't know how to answer these questions from my kids. What about around Christmas time they start asking more questions...I don't know whether to ignore the questions, address them with what I believe is the 'truth' or teach them a little bit of Christianity even though we don't believe in it at all.

What do you do? What would you do?

I had a huge reply but it was lost when my connection crashed!
Suffice it to say, my father was an atheist, my mother was agnostic, when we (four) children were growing up. I am a Christian, so is one of my sisters and my late brother.' Children will do what they will do, and may change their views 50 times in their lives!
I recommend you keep doing this : "For now, we have been answering the "Who is Jesus" type questions with a "Some people believe that......" type of response"
Vicky
Now I have a double post, because it posted when it said it hadn't - what's that about?

reply to post by cassp83


Teach them about other religions as well. Instead of simply saying "It's a ruse" point out that different people believe different things and just teach them general critical thinking skills.

Leave the rest up to them.

...but this comes from someone who is 22 and has no children...

I'll just say this. I was raised Catholic and basic critical thinking skills were taught to me throughout my life by my father. I'd say it was the greatest thing he could have taught me.

Originally posted by madnessinmysoul
reply to post by cassp83

 

Teach them about other religions as well. Instead of simply saying "It's a ruse" point out that different people believe different things and just teach them general critical thinking skills. Teach them about the different religions, even the pagan ones that died out. Teach them about Anubis, Mithras, Amaterasu, Odin, Quetzalcoatal, Poseidon, whoever. The stories themselves can be quite interesting.

Leave the rest up to them.

...but this comes from someone who is 22 and has no children...

I'll just say this. I was raised Catholic and basic critical thinking skills were taught to me throughout my life by my father. I'd say it was the greatest thing he could have taught me.

reply to post by madnessinmysoul


Well, that was a bad mistake...I hit quote instead of edit, I'm sorry. I mean to merely add teaching of world and historical religions to your children.

Anyway, I appreciate the struggle you're going through trying to do what's best for your children, hopefully a world full of parents like yourself will make things better for the future.

Madness beat me to it. But, yeah, teach them everything, and put emphasis that there's no pressure for them to immediately choose a belief. Also, teach them to question everything religious, that not everything is as perfect as certain people can (biasedly) make it seem.

My mother put down other religions constantly throughout my childhood. "One time a man decided he didn't like the bible, so he sat under a tree and made up his own religion. Some people actually believe that guy and call themselves Buddhists." Was all I knew about Buddhism as a child. And all I knew about atheists was that they "Pretend god doesn't exist, so they can do whatever they want and not think they have to answer to him." She thought it was the right thing to do to make sure I'd belief her "truth" by smearing all other potential "truths", and giving the one sided arguments to prove that her's is right.

So I wholly believe that it'd be good for a child to be given a fair rap about everything. Even atheism, let them know why certain people don't belief, and why they don't, but don't glamorize it just because you're more aligned with it. Mix that in with letting them know there's no rush for them to align with a certain belief, and that just because most others hold a certain belief doesn't make it any more likely to be true.

reply to post by Annee


It really is and funny thing is that it isn't hard to see. All their evil works are out in the open.The Catholic church worships Mary, gives repentance of sins to man, worship "aliens",etc the works. So she grew up in lies, thus she never was in the position to see if God was true. It sounds as if she is rather confused more than sure, so with that being said, she deserves to know that there could be consequences to her actions, if she be proved to be wrong (which she is). As I have said, God sought ME out not the other way around, so I don't believe, I KNOW.

Originally posted by scmoG
reply to post by Annee

 

It really is and funny thing is that it isn't hard to see. All their evil works are out in the open.The Catholic church worships Mary, gives repentance of sins to man, worship "aliens",etc the works.

I'm sorry - - but that really is a different topic.

Perhaps you should start a thread on the Evils of the Catholic church.

You don't have to agree with what I know, but do ask yourself this: What if you are wrong??? The day comes where you and your family are called to judgement, then God will ask "Why hast thou lied to thy own children of Me?!" and you go "Well God I didn't know" and He replies "You tried to seek Me not, although I hast given thou many chances to find Me." Indeed, your children may not pay for your upbringing (depending), but you will suffer for not seeking the Truth out yourself and lying to them. So, I ask you, do you LOVE your children enough to let them know the TRUTH??? If so, then I suggest you try to SEEK that Truth, before you tell them what you THINK you know to be right. They deserve that don't they???

reply to post by Annee


Perhaps Lord willing, because it's mostly because of the Catholic church and the hypocrites that call themselves Christians, that get people to think that God does not exist. We shall see.

Originally posted by scmoG
reply to post by Annee

 

Perhaps Lord willing, because it's mostly because of the Catholic church and the hypocrites that call themselves Christians, that get people to think that God does not exist. We shall see.

Lord willing what? What exactly does that mean to an Atheist?

Here's a conversation:

Believer: Hi - its a lovely day. Thank God.
Me: Yes! It is a lovely day.
Believer: Are you a Christian?
Me: NO!
Believer: Well, what God do you believe?
Me: I'm not really a believer in God.
Believer: Oh! I'm Sorry! Maybe you should pray about it.
Me: WHAT?

reply to post by scmoG


Why are so many people bringing up Pascal's wager?

Originally posted by scmoG
You don't have to agree with what I know, but do ask yourself this: What if you are wrong???

And what if you are wrong?

The day comes where you and your family are called to judgement, then God will ask "Why hast thou lied to thy own children of Me?!" and you go "Well God I didn't know"

Which is true, I do not know the existence of any deity....so...I can't really lie.

Also, and Allah will tell you "Why did you not teach your children the words of my prophet, why did you lie to your children about him?"

and He replies "You tried to seek Me not, although I hast given thou many chances to find Me."

Except most atheists have tried to search for god or at the very least challenged their own lack of belief. Also, why does your deity speak 16th century courtly English?

Indeed, your children may not pay for your upbringing (depending), but you will suffer for not seeking the Truth out yourself and lying to them.

So, I ask you, do you LOVE your children enough to let them know the TRUTH???

Yes, which is why I wouldn't indoctrinate them into any belief system.

If so, then I suggest you try to SEEK that Truth, before you tell them what you THINK you know to be right. They deserve that don't they???

If you can prove that it's true, go ahead and prove it so that this parent and so many other can not suffer. If you cannot, stop insisting that a whole family be brought up in unsupported beliefs.

"But, I feel I should be doing more. Part of me feels 'wrong' to tell them that Christianity is all a ruse, but part of me feels 'wrong' for telling them about Jesus as if it were fact."

From all the you wrote, that statement really struck me. I kept going back to it.

Have you asked yourself what is it inside you that gives you the "wrong" feeling? Could it be that "still, small voice"? We all have it. But some ignore it for so long that it either quits speaking to them or it's completely drowned out by the rest of the goings on in their lives.

I hope you take that as I intended... sometimes it's so hard to get your true meaning and intention across on the internet. I meant that only to make you think long and hard about what it is that really bothers you when you consider how to answer your children regarding the topic of Jesus and Christianity.

May God bless you and your family.

Originally posted by prettygentle
"But, I feel I should be doing more. Part of me feels 'wrong' to tell them that Christianity is all a ruse, but part of me feels 'wrong' for telling them about Jesus as if it were fact."

But it isn't a fact - - its a belief.

There are many fascinating beliefs around the world. I'd bring them all into the conversation.

Especially the earth beliefs. Because you can use logic and science as a valid reason to value what we have.

I am an agnostic who was raised by christian extremists. I tell my children to explore all the different beliefs out there and then make up their own mind.

reply to post by cassp83


5771 years of written history of God, and in your 30 years of brilliance, you decide it is all make believe? then bring 2 innocent children into this evil world, with the great tribulation at your doorstep, and arm them spiritually with santa clause and the easter bunny!? c'mon, your on a conspiracy website, and you dont think there is something out there greater than you? when it all comes falling down around you, you will remember God , but your children will not. even the constitution of the united states is based on the ten commandments. your childrens morality is based on what? right and wrong? whats right or wrong if its based on nothing? it is only an opinion if it is based on nothing. YOU are responsible for your children, and will answer for how you have raised them. YOUR punishment will be more severe than someone who was just a murderer and have no children, because you led them.....p.s. dollar tree has coloring books for $1, verses Kmart @ $4.

Originally posted by TylerDurden2U
reply to post by cassp83

 

5771 years of written history of God, and in your 30 years of brilliance, you decide it is all make believe? then bring 2 innocent children into this evil world, with the great tribulation at your doorstep,

Get off your pulpit.

No one is asking whether it is right to believe or not. That is not the question that was asked.

reply to post by Annee


tell your children the truth, wouldnt that be easy. im sorry for blasting you that way. i have my kids in a private christian school, and yes the questions will come. i cant imagine going back to a world with no God in it. i wish you knew what i know.

Tyler, please note you're derailing an otherwise legitimate thread. Claiming someone's beliefs are wrong, while providing no evidence, and then attacking how she'd raise her children, is not right. Especially since whether he beliefs are wrong or not is irrelevant to the topic.

I can tell you that you're going to islamic hell, for denying Muhammad. I can also say that sending you're children to a christian school, where they'll be too indoctrinated to ever really be able to be able to accept the truth, is far worse than any child abuse. You're punishment will also be worse for intentionally damning your children as well.

I will not go into someone's thread and say that though, because it's uncalled for and nasty.

And cassp83 should remember that, you can't save you're kids from one persons hell without sending them to another. Pascal's Wager doesn't work, and indoctrinating children "just in case" is the wrong thing to do.

But, tyler, if you're so confident that you're beliefs are right. Make a thread yourself and prove such. You'll convince many more people to raise their children into you're beliefs by substantiating them in a proper way. You won't by littering others threads with baseless threats.

Originally posted by TylerDurden2U
reply to post by Annee

 

tell your children the truth, wouldnt that be easy. im sorry for blasting you that way. i have my kids in a private christian school, and yes the questions will come. i cant imagine going back to a world with no God in it. i wish you knew what i know.

What truth are you talking about?

We are talking about the truth of no god. No deity of any kind.

Children do not need for any reason to be social or political pawns - - of their parents.

It does not serve any child who lives in a heavily religious area to start spouting out - - "you are wrong - there is no god - my mommy said so".

As I first said - knowledge is never wasted. To know Christianity is not a waste.

To ease a child into something that doesn't flow with the immediate society they are in (remember their world is very small) - - - open them up to knowing there are many beliefs around the world and that some people believe in science and fact.

When you believe they are at an age of understanding - - and ask what you believe - - that is the time to tell them.

It is not about you.