What Exactly Do You Mean When You Label Someone As A "Homophobe"?

reply to post by Annee


The only problem with your explanation is that it shows no distinction between those who are truely homophobic (fear) and those that are anit-homosexual (hate).

There is a difference.

A homophobe can exist purely on lack of knowledge.

An anti-homosexual will hate regardless.

Also, it lumps in those that are just afraid of change in general...any change.

Originally posted by ModernAcademia

Originally posted by journey2010
My question to you is: In a household with two people who love each other, (plus my mother), which scenario is best... An orphanage, or a home filled with love and responsible, mature adults?

See you are wording your question in such a way.... well anyhow
I do think personally that a mother is needed, especially for babies as breast milk is required
But women have this native motherly care that men just don't have natively, please note I used the word natively.

Now let me ask you a question that i'm thinking maybe I shouldn't ask, but i'll just do it
Since you referred to you and your significant other as "mature adults" how would you explain the below to your adopted child?:
[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/9a1753e5ee5b.jpg[/atsimg]

How would you justify this path in life that may result in a shorter life?

Couple of things I noticed about this.
Mothers that adopt, do not breast feed.

The embedded graph - doesn't account for men in a committed relationship. If there's no messing around, there is no aids risk.
It shows that women still get aids, some have gotten it from their husband's risky, messin about behaviour, without themselves being high risk.

Your idea of the baby needing a mom - It works in favour of 2 gay women adopting, but they still won't be breast feeding. but the child does get 2 moms

reply to post by peck420


Absolute rubbish. The fact is, a majority of mainstream people are against homosexuality and the deviant lifestyle so many of them lead. Call it what you want but thats just how it is and there's nothing you can do nor say that is going to change the minds of heterosexuals.

Personally, I don't care what consenting adults do in their bedrooms but I for one don't want it in my face or my children's.....nor do I have any interest in being educated about homosexuality. I'm sick of hearing about it, I'm sick of having it on my TV screen, and I'm sick of my city putting up with their street demonstrations and Mardi Gras.

reply to post by bluemirage5


This falls into the labels category that this thread hit on. What is your basis that the majority of homosexuals lead a deviant lifestyle (lets remove the fact that its same sex) more so then the rest of the population? I guess we would need to know the true amount of homosexuals versus heterosexuals and compare every single statistic of each to see the comparisons. We can't obviously have all that accurate information, so again its a label. I do fully agree with the throwing in your face thing, its up to you if you would like to learn about sexuality to maybe understand the other side for yourself, the same as its your childrens right once they are grown thinking adults. They also shouldnt have to see bickering politicians, violence, sex and profanity on tv but its still there. and it will be up to the individual what they are exposed to. I wont go to pride parades for that reason, I find there are better ways for ANY rights to be fought for. We all try to move from labels yet we see ourselves placing ourselves in them for the 'rights'.

Originally posted by topherman420
I wont go to pride parades for that reason, I find there are better ways for ANY rights to be fought for. We all try to move from labels yet we see ourselves placing ourselves in them for the 'rights'.

Yeah - - but if you are a minority group - - someone has to rattle the cage and be in the face of majority.

Even if they eventually say: "Here's your Rights - - now shut up".

I consider a "homophobe" to be someone who gives an exaggerated reaction to anything related to homosexuality. They always have to express how straight they are as if they've accomplished something by not being gay. A male friend might jokingly try to hug this person and they'll have to exclaim "Woah, that's gay, bro!".

A friend of mine once got his mom to buy him some cheap skirt at a Goodwill store. It was purely a joke that both him and his mom were in on. She dared him to wear it in public and that's exactly what he did. Sure enough, a homophobe drove by and had to express his straightness (and lack of brains) by yelling "Gay fag!". I'm pretty sure we got the most enjoyment out of that.

Being "mildly averted" to homosexuality doesn't make you homophobic. I think homophobic people have a persistent fear of being humiliated in public. You'll notice that they always associate homosexuals with the stereotypical flamer; people who make a big scene in public over their gayness while wearing flamboyant clothing and shaking their asses when they walk. Homophobic guys are terrified of being criticized. They can't stand the thought of them being the one who's the focal point in public and therefore always feel obligated to announce their disagreement with homosexuality.

I like to troll society in real life every once in awhile. One Halloween I was a Satan-worshiping church burner complete with corpse paint on my face. One year at the county fair I held hands with a friend of mine and pretended to be gay. I really didn't think people would be stupid enough to buy it when I very sarcastically stated "I'm totally gay right now"... but they fell for it. I could tell the people who whined about it were always the most angsty and were more likely to run away than actually get involved in a conflict. So much fun...

Anyway, being averted to gay practices =/= homophobic.

Perfect example:
Murderface

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by topherman420
I wont go to pride parades for that reason, I find there are better ways for ANY rights to be fought for. We all try to move from labels yet we see ourselves placing ourselves in them for the 'rights'.

Yeah - - but if you are a minority group - - someone has to rattle the cage and be in the face of majority.

Even if they eventually say: "Here's your Rights - - now shut up".

I do have to admit, very valid point there lol In all rights though I shouldnt be considered a minority, I dislike that word too. I understand its to say its less of one 'type' of people, but its backwards thinking to do that in the first place. Humans are humans are humans. Attitudes and what you do to others is what counts and what should define us as a whole, but instead we have compartmentalized ourselves causing some of these problems. Heres an example cause I have a hard time explaining things to people (I sucked at essays lol)

"I dont like you cause you are gay" What I hear: "I dont like you cause you are human"
"I dont like you cause you are a different race" What I hear "I dont like you cause you are human"
"Gays and other races have rights" What I hear "Humans have rights"

Its a confusing situation since on the one hand the labels condemn and yet we still need them because of our thinking. We should be thinking of human rights in reality, they get infringed on every single day by every single person, and yet only some are protested or over shadow others, get warped and used by media, and in the end, if it doesnt affect you first hand, you may not be interested. Everyone is human and that affects everyone of us, not just the gays or the minority races (creeds, animals, sandwhich preferences you name it).

Ive really enjoyed the responses in this thread folks

PS I choked a bit on my pop when I read "heres your rights now shut up" ROFL Classic lol

"phobe" means "phobic"= irrational fear of something....all that other claptrap about nursing moms is BS...irrational fear is a mental condition

Originally posted by topherman420
I do have to admit, very valid point there lol In all rights though I shouldn't be considered a minority, I dislike that word too.

You have no argument from me on your whole post. I'm totally a Human is Human person.

I'm not real thrilled with Fem-nazi because I am a woman who speaks her mind.

I'm not real thrilled that my mom who had polio had to be classified as disabled to get a drivers license.

Such is the world outside your own immediate world.

At least you have control in your own personal world.

It means that someone who is homophobic is someone who is intolerant, scared, and ignorant of homosexuals and about homosexuality. That's basically it. And before someone tries to refute my definition of the word, they should first consider the underlying reasons about why someone who is homophobic dislikes homosexuality. Either because they consider it to be gross or they consider it to be immoral, there is an underlying fear present within the disliking. And fear is what makes up any phobia.

And like any phobia, there are varying levels of severity. For example, I'm not necessarily phobic of spiders to an extreme degree, but they do startle me. That would describe me as exhibiting traits present in arachnophobia. I don't exactly see a reason why the word homophobia should not exist when fear is present within the disliking of homosexuals. And when people who are homophobic call a homosexual immoral, unnatural, or what have you, that's even more justification to call people who don't like homosexuals homophobic when they say things like that.

When you break it down, there is fear.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by peck420

 

Absolute rubbish. The fact is, a majority of mainstream people are against homosexuality and the deviant lifestyle so many of them lead. Call it what you want but thats just how it is and there's nothing you can do nor say that is going to change the minds of heterosexuals.

Personally, I don't care what consenting adults do in their bedrooms but I for one don't want it in my face or my children's.....nor do I have any interest in being educated about homosexuality. I'm sick of hearing about it, I'm sick of having it on my TV screen, and I'm sick of my city putting up with their street demonstrations and Mardi Gras.

And that is exactly one of the reasons why people get classified as being homophobic. They won't even attempt anything to alter their state of mind in the least. And I have to ask why? It seems like they're scared of something.

People also get tired of having it rubbed in their face;ala New Orleans and San Francisco....anybody gets tired,over time,of a bunch of loud mouthed as*holes,no matter what their orientation

Originally posted by Exuberant1
so take an honest look at the debate and you will see that one side doesn't like you because they are uncomfortable with their own sexuality, but because they are uncomfortable with yours. Making them uncomfortable with insinuations regarding their sexuality does not get anyone anywhere good.

Wrong.

People who "don't like" gay people are disturbed by their own homosexual feelings.


Top Five Republican Gay Sex Scandals
www.badmouth.net...

If you are full of hate for homosexuals, the evidence suggests you have a psychological problem, based on denying part of yourself.
www.huffingtonpost.com...

Prof. Adams says his research shows that most homophobes "demonstrate significant sexual arousal to homosexual erotic stimuli", suggesting that homophobia is a form of "latent homosexuality where persons are either unaware of or deny their homosexual urges".
www.ipce.info...

In this clip, from the HBO documentary Middle Sexes: Redefining He and She, narrator Gore Vidal discusses a 1996 study on homophobia, which revealed that homophobic males were aroused by gay porn, while non-homophobes were not.
findingthefilth.blogspot.com...

Latham, who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex
www.surfingtheapocalypse.net...

For those who have not yet heard of Outrage, it's a documentary by Kirby Dick about closeted Republican hypocrites and the way their hypocrisy damages lives — not only their personal lives but the millions of gays and lesbians their homophobic policymaking affects.
www.towleroad.com...

Homophobes Love Gay Porn
www.feastoffun.com...

Yes extremists always tend to apply extreme terms even in mundane cases.

Like the example of someone who only mildly fits the attributes, the same absolutism is applied.

This example of logical fallacy is actually closely related to our overall programming in consumerist mentality.

A major aspect of these forceful and barbaric social attitudes is through shaming and name-calling or ridicule. That's what made religions like Judaism, Christianity, or Islam so wide-spread and dominant. It's what makes government work really when you think about it. It's what almost all social groups, especially larger ones, even video game communities, are built upon.

Peer pressure. Negative reinforcement in case you don't play along.

It's programmed into people since birth and extremely difficult to outgrow and shed.

I do try to get a laugh out of it though. You know it's pretty funny how ironic it is for the homosexual community to act like splitting image replicas of the Christian Fundamentalists they despise so much.

Originally posted by Jezus

Wrong.

People who "don't like" gay people are disturbed by their own homosexual feelings.

See this is the type of absurd absolutism that spreads through social networks due to societal pressures.

This statement above implies or insinuates that every human is homosexual.

If you don't like them, than you are obviously totally gay and in denial?

It's pure fanaticism. It's the same mentality as religious zeal.
I can describe their mentality in the same exact terminology I would Christian Fundamentalists, and it somehow sticks perfectly!

Originally posted by Homedawg
People also get tired of having it rubbed in their face;ala New Orleans and San Francisco....anybody gets tired,over time,of a bunch of loud mouthed as*holes,no matter what their orientation

You know who else is really loud?

Drunk bums on the street.

Despite their "orientation", they still get bullied all the time.
Hell even the cops can legally bully them and it happens all the time.

But for some reason being a true free person (bum on street) you are punished by everyone in society, and I know many people called the cops on bums who walked into their Starbucks and loitered asking for change.

Funny how everyone acts so oppressed when in reality they become the oppressors.

Originally posted by journey2010
reply to post by 7thcavtrooper

 

I don't kiss in public. I don't hold hands in public. In all truth, I am rather boring and quiet in public. You have every right to kiss and hold hands. I don't do it so that I don't make you uncomfortable. Just please remember that not all of us are ridiculous. Fault particular people, just don't fault us in a sweeping generalization.

Dear journey2010,

I haven't read the whole thread yet; but, I started from the beginning. I would like to say that I think your explanations have been very measured and respectful. I had to give you a star on one of the posts. I personally am a very straight Christian and yet have many gay friends who I primarily met through one of my daughters (none of my children are gay). I am not afraid of nor do I hate gays. If they ask me if I think it is a good lifestyle, I would probably say not most of what I have seen. Please let me explain why, most of the ones I know are more flamboyant and have been known to engage in risky behaviors. It does not sound as if you do any of those things and it appears that you take care of your business and your family.

I applaud your approach to your life as you explained it. Because you do not act in a way that would be perceived as "gay", most of us would not see the limits of the community. I guess what I am trying to say is that we notice the ones that exhibit stereotypical tendencies and don't often get to see the others who are just trying to live their lives. I also do not believe in certain types of kissing in public except in limited circumstances (straight or gay), I will kiss a man or woman on the cheek in public; but, passionate kissing in public I find disrespectful of others. When we do not display our sexuality in public then it is never an issue. It is not so much an issue of hiding who we are as what we decide to make public and I consider my sexuality a private matter to those around me in the physical world.

Your posts made me think back to the 60s and 70s before everyone came "out", people rarely knew if someone was gay. There was a television movie called IMDB - That Certain Summer and it was about just a regular person who was gay. You helped to remind me of that and I truly appreciate it. For me someone who is homophobic is someone who wants to know about your sexuality that is not on intimate terms with you, I consider it your business and not mine (that does not apply to this thread or your posts, I was referencing how you comport yourself in public). It is a shame that some Christians do in fact hate gays, they do not represent all of us and I tell them they are wrong to say such things and are supposed to love all their neighbors as themselves. Best wishes.

reply to post by arbitrarygeneraiist


Why do I need to alter MY state of mind......?

Why not the homosexuals alter THEIR state of mind. I don't fear homosexuals.....I just want them out of my face, out of the education system, off my TV screen, and keep their demonstrations and mardi gras off our streets. Enough is enough! The homosexuals are equally destructful as they are who are very much involved in sexualizing music videos & little girl clothing created and manufactured by top fashion designers.....of whom most are gay. Sexual deviants they are, and there's no place in our streets for this nonsence. It's time to grow up.

reply to post by bluemirage5


Im guilty of none of this, why do you accuse me of it?

Why is it when someone doesn't like a homosexual, the homos and their supporters try to blame a phobia?

And why, when that does not silence them, do they then imply that our someone must secretly be a homosexual?

*This faulty system of logic, applied consistently and openly to other aspects of one's life, would result in the diagnosis of mental illness of some sort. Try it.