What Exactly Do You Mean When You Label Someone As A "Homophobe"?

Originally posted by journey2010
However, I have known homophobes that fill the bill exactly. They fear 'gayness' - I think it is due to their own homosexual thoughts/actions.

You wouldn't say an anti-communist fears communism because of his own communist thoughts, or that a libertarian is a closet tax-lover would you?

Of course you wouldn't.

I would never say that an anti-communist has communist thoughts. But then again, we are not discussing the word anti-homosexual. Instead, we are speaking of the word homophobe. "phobe" would describe a FEAR.

To manipulate words from myself or anyone else will never progress any conversation. Please reread my original reply, then feel free to respond.

Thank you.

Originally posted by Exuberant1
You wouldn't say an anti-communist fears communism because of his own communist thoughts, or that a libertarian is a closet tax-lover would you?

You are awesome for this post!
I would applaud you if I could
that closet tax lover part made me LOL hahaha

Originally posted by Exuberant1
I say you should treat this topic with the same level of open-mindedness that you treat the rest of your life
You must show them the same level of acceptance as you wish to be shown.

Very true
Words of wisdom right here people!

Originally posted by ModernAcademia

Originally posted by Exuberant1
You wouldn't say an anti-communist fears communism because of his own communist thoughts, or that a libertarian is a closet tax-lover would you?

You are awesome for this post!
I would applaud you if I could
that closet tax lover part made me LOL hahaha

Exuberant's response to me was made without fully reading my post. I never once said that someone who was anti-gay secretly was gay. (Therefore, to compare someone who is anti-communism to having communist thoughts is putting words into my mouth.)

I said that in my experience, the people I have known that are homoPHOBES (again, not ANTI-homosexual) fear their own homosexuality. I never said that everyone does - just in my experience.

reply to post by ModernAcademia


What I see from the MSM and my local liberal friends is anyone who doesn't bow down and obey every command from the gay community and give them anything and everything they think they deserve is labeled a homophobe.

The word "homophobe" is a so-called "shaming tactic." This involves labeling someone in such a way that they will (supposedly) feel ashamed for their actions in some way. Its a cheap form of ad hominim, as has already been pointed out in this thread. I guess the idea is to make the target feel something along the lines of: "oh noes, if I take this stance, other people will see me as some kind of coward trying to cover up with bluster." Except like most such verbal shaming tactics, it is not really based on any underlying reality and is thus inherently deceitful and obnoxious as an argumentative tactic. Shaming tactics have short shelf lives.

Originally posted by j35us

Originally posted by ModernAcademia

Originally posted by OccamAssassin
Homophobia - By breakdown should probably mean a fear of humans.

en.wikipedia.org...

Actually you raise a good point because what you mention is just another level of "this word doesn't make any sense"

What would be a good replacement since we all agree that the current makes no sense?

I've always disliked this word. We all know what a phobia is, and anyone with a first grade education learns homo is a prefix meaning same, so technically I've always believed that the word should be correctly used as fear of "sameness" or things being the same.

Actually "Homo" is the genus for humans.

e.g. Homo-sapiens, Homo-Gautengensis, Homo-Neanderthalenis, Homo-Floresiensis.

But I suppose its a bit advanced for a 1st grader. Scientific genus is more of a high school thing.

reply to post by jjkenobi


And as a gay person I would hope you don't label me (just like I did in the first three words) in saying I would have some sort of agenda. As I think we can all agree here homo is not the right prefix for phobia as it doesn't correctly describe an irrational fear. Do you have a phobia of a gay agenda?

reply to post by jjkenobi


I am a member of the gay community. I own two businesses, fully support my mother (health issues), and my partner and I will begin foster/adoption classes this fall. We are buying our own home, own rental property, and are upstanding members of our community.

I don't care if you know that I am gay or not. I don't care if you know me, period. But I do take offense to the constant comparison to the loud, vocal, and flamboyant few of us homosexuals that many people base their opinions from.

I am not a closet case. I am not a limp wristed queen. I am a man doing his best to support his family. Gay or straight, what does it matter?

Oh ,they can do as they please with all legal rights as I have,but the male sexual act is repulsive to me I would ask that homosexual men kindly treat me with respect ,as I treat them, and not flaunt that it in my face or tease me because it amuses them.

reply to post by 7thcavtrooper


What are your thoughts on the word that is used to label other people? Lets not derail this and get to the point of a word that is used that technically is incorrect.

reply to post by 7thcavtrooper


I don't kiss in public. I don't hold hands in public. In all truth, I am rather boring and quiet in public. You have every right to kiss and hold hands. I don't do it so that I don't make you uncomfortable. Just please remember that not all of us are ridiculous. Fault particular people, just don't fault us in a sweeping generalization.

reply to post by ModernAcademia


The word shouldn't exist? Meanings of words change over time and they drift away from what the root words mean. If you break the word homophobia down to its roots we have phobia - a fear, and homo which is latin for same. My point is that the actual root of the word need not have any bearing on what it means.

I don't use the word very much but generally I'd say it describes someone who is discriminatory or insulting toward homosexuals or who opposes gay rights.

Greetings! Here to give my two cents.

I think the word homophob pretty accurately describes someone who is irrationally (most of the time) fearful of homosexuals and their lifestyles. I have spent the majority of my life surrounded by many many homosexuals. (I studied acting.) Being surrounded means I was privy to reactions of others that I would have never experienced being a straight woman.

Sometimes people are so afraid, due to ignorance, propaganda or any number of things, that even knowing that there is a gay person in the room makes them extremely uncomfortable. Even to the point of acting out. Their reaction is similar to someone who is terrified of spiders and KNOWS there's one under the bed. Their heart races, often times they get really mad (I'd use the word 'angry' but this is more appropriate), they start to make uncomfortable jokes. God forbid a gay person attempt talking to them! They tend to lash out irrationally- often physically (mostly that would involve alcohol - I would hope). Imagine a clown walking up to someone afraid of clowns. I don't think it would be pretty. (In fact, I have a friend whom I'm trying to break this silly fear.)

I'm not condoning this attitude at all. In fact, I have been known to lash out at these individuals in less than constructive ways. I believe I have gotten over that hump. The thing is- these 'homophobs' are broken a bit in their brains (IMO), just like people with other irrational fears. I keep putting in 'irrational' because there is always an exception to the rule.

I'd say they are fixable, but seeing how there are a million different reasons to fear something, there would be no straight (:lol answer cure.

People are people. Unfortunately we are taught to fear, first and foremost. Now we have the silly problem of making people not afraid of everything.

Edit to add: I wouldn't use this word to describe people who are against homosexuality, even vehemently. I can be against something and not fear it, however, those two do often go hand in hand. Like someone said earlier, I can dislike or even hate spiders, but not have an irrational fear of them. Homophob is not an all-encompassing word, although necessary at times.

On a side note: Cotton Candy and Butterfly kisses. That is all.

Originally posted by journey2010
my partner and I will begin foster/adoption classes this fall.

Gay or straight, what does it matter?

well since you are planning on adoption it does matter
because it's no longer only about pro-choice, pro-choice means you do whatever you want to your body
but here's there's a 3rd party involved, so it's no longer a pro-choice matter.

so yes for adoption/fostering yes it very does matter

this is not only about "what you do in your bedroom is your own business" anymore, it's passed that

so if I am somewhat against gays being allowed to adopt how would you label me?

Originally posted by ModernAcademia

so if I am somewhat against gays being allowed to adopt how would you label me?

Hey there! I'd say "Misinformed and possibly closed-minded" But you don't sound like a homophob

reply to post by OccamAssassin


We are actually both correct. The latin prefix refers to man (the one used for scientific purposes) whereas the greek prefix refers to same.

www.dailywritingtips.com...

Any way you look at it it's still being used incorrectly.

Originally posted by ModernAcademia

Originally posted by journey2010
my partner and I will begin foster/adoption classes this fall.

Gay or straight, what does it matter?

well since you are planning on adoption it does matter
because it's no longer only about pro-choice, pro-choice means you do whatever you want to your body
but here's there's a 3rd party involved, so it's no longer a pro-choice matter.

so yes for adoption/fostering yes it very does matter

this is not only about "what you do in your bedroom is your own business" anymore, it's passed that

so if I am somewhat against gays being allowed to adopt how would you label me?

It depends. Do you have a fear of a homosexual raising a child... or are you against it?

In a thread not too long ago on ATS, I read that there are 800-900 orphaned children in Japan following the quake/tsunami. (My number may be wrong, I am going off of memory here...) The thread said that chances are, these children will wind up in an orphanage.

Your question to me was in regard to you being against a homosexual adopting/fostering. My question to you is: In a household with two people who love each other, (plus my mother), which scenario is best... An orphanage, or a home filled with love and responsible, mature adults?

Originally posted by ElizaAshdene
Hey there! I'd say "Misinformed and possibly closed-minded" But you don't sound like a homophob

can you define and pinpoint this "misinformation"?

Originally posted by journey2010
My question to you is: In a household with two people who love each other, (plus my mother), which scenario is best... An orphanage, or a home filled with love and responsible, mature adults?

See you are wording your question in such a way.... well anyhow
I do think personally that a mother is needed, especially for babies as breast milk is required
But women have this native motherly care that men just don't have natively, please note I used the word natively.

Now let me ask you a question that i'm thinking maybe I shouldn't ask, but i'll just do it
Since you referred to you and your significant other as "mature adults" how would you explain the below to your adopted child?:


How would you justify this path in life that may result in a shorter life?

Thinking of anyone by any group collective title is ignorance and a mistake.As an example I have no opinion of all Muslims I give all people the opportunity to show me ,as individuals,who they are.
I am a head banger so Rap is infuriating to me,I don't demand that others follow my example nor do I push people around.
As long as they aren't in my way and don't inflict their life choices on me.