I'm an Addict

If anyone here is going through something similar or know who is going through something similar please let it be known

Flag this thread!

I have a eerie feeling that there are more going though this type of thing that are wiling to let on.

I'm here...I'm suffering ...I want others to admit just because there may be help.

-AS-

Originally posted by AeonStorm

Originally posted by GArnold

Originally posted by AeonStorm
My hangovers are so bad that I go through sever anxiety and do whatever it takes to try to calm myself. This can mean anything to cuddling up with my pillow to having multiple massage rs pressed up against me.

I almost think that that I'm so USED to pain that it takes something extraordinary to make me feel comfortable! ..

I don't know why has happened in my life to put me in the position that I find myself in now but according to what is the "normal" ... I'm am f***ed ..... I'm still a virgin and the reason why is because I through that this is what was expected of me!

I know better know but now that I have this problem I cannot seem to escape it!

You can escape it.. trust me. It seems when your in the middle that it will never stop. Making the deep decision to quit is what is holding you back. If you want to quit.. you can do it. Just reading what you have written.. I am not sure you are ready to quit.. and I am not trying to be mean. You seem to be wanting to quit and justify it at the same time. It is one or the other. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do the correct thing. You will be thankful you did in no time.

edit on 12-6-2011 by GArnold because: (no reason given)

I never do this but if you want someone to talk to U2U me and I will send you my phone number.. I honestly will not preach or say there is only one way you can quit. I worked around addicts and alcoholics as well after I recovered.

edit on 12-6-2011 by GArnold because: (no reason given)

Thank you so much GArnold .....I'm coming to a point that either I try to escape what I've become or live with my addiction for ever until I die. .... I'm hoping that i get in contact with you before that happens!!

I wish I never heard of what I am going through...

Expect my call sometime soon if I have not givin up completely.

Dude.. do not give up completely. Call me anytime you want for any reason. I have been there.. sad to say. The last night I drank I think I tried to commit suicide but was blacked out and do not remember. I woke up and had two black eyes and I vaguely remember slamming my head into a dresser trying to hit my temple. Life has not been great.. but it is a hell of a lot better than it was.

I u2u (ed) my number to you. Call me collect if you have to.

reply to post by GArnold


You can message me as well and I can send you my number. I was miserable when I was using and knew that if I didn't stop I was going to die soon. Now after a year I've learned how to be happy in recovery.

Thanks to the OP for starting this thread. I can totally identify with the issue, although everyone has their own reasons for why they do things. A lot of people stereotype the sort of person who is into conspiracies in general as being a bit imbalanced, so it's hard to admit on a forum like this. Without going into my own personal details, I was wondering if one of the kind sympathetic members might explain what detox is like. I'm finally getting health insurance and considering my options. Also has anybody tried or looked into an Ibogaine clinic? Just curious, much thanks and respect to everyone out there.

reply to post by AeonStorm


You could always try Jesus.

reply to post by PhantomLimb


aww you wimped out?

reply to post by AeonStorm


Cocaine enemas.

reply to post by PhantomLimb


ROFL!!

literally hahaha!

The hardest part of getting sober is having to consciously give up things, specifically friends who feed into that habit, and unfortunately some family members as well. Enablers are the worse....

It can be done though, and 12 steps are not going to work for everyone - if its not working for you, everytime they tell you it works is just going to make you feel more frustrated, and think something is wrong with you

so please, if its not working - find another program - you can get better with the right support system - and if you fail on your first attempt don't beat yourself up over it - some people it takes many, many attempts - your perserverance WILL pay off

I'm a former drug addict. 12 step programs DO work, and recovery is not impossible. Good luck to you.

best start to end this...is that you know you an addict..

now good luck on your way...im sure you will make it..forget the past!...look forward!

Originally posted by AeonStorm
A twelve step program does no good for me as I believe that the only person who can change me is ME!

I've been through your situation.

The thing is, if you - by yourself - were able to stop, you already would have. It's true that the change has to come from within, but that doesn't mean there isn't value in external support. The 12 step programs have the highest rate of success of any treatment widely available today. Your odds are better in one than out of one, so you're not doing yourself any favors by ruling it out.

Meetings won't impose sobriety on you. They would if they could, but they can't. They do, however, facilitate the internal changes that you need to make. For me, the greatest benefit of meetings was this: going there and thinking about not drinking, talking about not drinking, hearing ideas about how not to drink, and just being immersed in a mindset of recovery/sobriety for a little while every day - or even a couple times a week - has an effect on your thinking. The more time you spend in meetings, the more time you spend in a mindset of recovery. If you do it enough, you will find yourself in that mindset more and more outside of the meetings. Thinking like an alcoholic becomes habitual. You can make the mindset of sobriety habitual, too, but you have to do it a lot before it becomes automatic.

Not only is the reinforcement of the mindset helpful, but people share effective techniques at meetings. For example, taking it one day or one hour or ten minutes at a time. When you feel like drinking, say to yourself, "Okay, I'm not going to swear off drinking or make any sweeping promises to myself right now - because you've tried that already and it doesn't work - I'm just going to not drink for the next hour." Also, having a sponsor that takes you through the steps and who can be there for you is invaluable.

Everyone who gets sober does so in their own way, but hardly ever by will power alone or by just deciding to be done with it. If you could do that, you wouldn't be an addict.

The first step:
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."

You sound like you're about at this point. Remember, if you weren't powerless over alcohol, you wouldn't be an alcoholic. Since you are, you need to do something differently if you want it to stop. Many before you have found that a 12 step program is the answer. Almost none have found success in just insisting to themselves that they stop.

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe

Originally posted by AeonStorm
I wish to tell everyone on ATS the I'm an alcoholic and that it has ruined my life. There Are many things that I've done and regretted. I've come to believe that one of the reaons why I've done what I've done is due to the feeling that I have NO power.

If ANYONE else feels this way I would hope that they understand that they are not alone. I've done many thing that make me ashamed and wish that I had done things different but what I most hope is that others will not fall into the trap that I've fall into..... It's not an easy trap to escape from.

edit on 12-6-2011 by AeonStorm because: (no reason given)

You are not alone either my friend...Drink & drugs have altered my life completely...I think you couldn't have said it better...The feeling of no power.

The problem with alcohol is that there is no easy way of stopping once you become dependent on it...Best thing is to put down the drink, re-assess & make those changes in your life for the better.

Things I've done, my closest family & friends don't even know about yet...But they are going to eventually...I'm at a crossroads in my life, where I'm at a loss.

Very very tempted to get on a plane to anywhere right now......Just not in a good place right now, so I completely understand where you're comin' from...Try keep your head up. Keep looking & moving forward, then things may start to get better...One step at a time I guess..

Weight of the world is crushing my shoulders...& things are gonna be turned upside down once the truth comes out...Sometimes I don't know whether it's worth it anymore.

edit on 12-6-2011 by SmoKeyHaZe because: (no reason given)

I'm not going into detail but my story is basically the same. I am still fighting my addiction but can honestly say I'm winning now.
What I want to say to you is, it was my family and friends when I did come clean an tell them, they helped give me the strength. I only hope your family an friends will be the same.

Take care my friend an keep your chin up.

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe


You are not alone either my friend...Drink & drugs have altered my life completely...I think you couldn't have said it better...The feeling of no power.

The problem with alcohol is that there is no easy way of stopping once you become dependent on it...

I'm not quite sure of that one, After my mother passed (6 years tomorrow) I picked up booze and became a pathetic alcoholic. Basically every night was a Saturday night for me. I was depressed, didn't have a job and lived at home with my dad. After many drunken nights/fights, cops being called I decided you know what I don't need this crap in my life anymore, I simply just stopped drinking 100% cold turkey. Haven't picked up another one since and could care less if I ever drink again. August I will officially be 1 year sober. I didn't need god, I didn't need other people suffering from alcoholism, I most importantly didn't need AA. If you are strong enough person you can do anything. You don't need 12 steps and a "higher power" to get you through your day. In my opinion people are just slighting themselves when they say that God helped them get through it, when in fact it was yourself who got yourself through whatever it was you were suffering from. I hope this message helps you as you continue your journey back to sobriety.

My husband spent 30 days in an inpatient rehab due to an addiction to vicodin. Addiction has a genetic component and some folks are predisposed to it.

He had back surgery, then took pain meds for a year then deployed to Afghanistan. It was his way of numbing the world when he came home. I gave him an ultimatum and he has been clean for 18 months. it was the hardest thing either of us has ever done.

There are alot of good books out there on alchoholism and AA is everywhere. Go to a meeting. you dont have to say anything if you dont want to. You will find a group of people much like yourself and hopefully you can open up to them and start healing. My prayers and hugs are with you. Addiction is a painful thing for everyone in the family.

I am addicted to nicotine and caffeine. Although legal and techinically they dont hurt anyone but me, it is still an addiction.

Originally posted by AeonStorm
If anyone here is going through something similar or know who is going through something similar please let it be known

Flag this thread!

I have a eerie feeling that there are more going though this type of thing that are wiling to let on.

I'm here...I'm suffering ...I want others to admit just because there may be help.

-AS-

I am an alcoholic....and..I don't drink alcohol....I started my sobriety journey in 1989......during that time until now I have had 4 short term relapses...my last relapse was almost 7 years ago.....I have lost a lot too......

I am finally at the place now...where I am beginning to understand.....that I need to forgive myself...

On a recent talk show a person said and I quote: "forgiveness comes when you give up the hope of trying to change the past".....I think many addicts hold on to the past....the mistakes made....and keep thinking in their minds they can change the past......well...you can't....all you can do is learn from the past.....admit what you have done wrong...ask for forgiveness and work on changing yourself into a better human being...for today and the future. Self-forgiveness is so very important to building a new healthy life in the future.

Also...some people from your past who you have wronged ...may not forgive you....that is their choice.....but at least you have asked them for forgiveness and admitted what you did wrong.

You can forgive yourself...and move on to a better life.

reply to post by GArnold


I think the route you took is what I want to take.

In my post I would also like to thank the ATS member I called last night.

I think that the best route for me would be to avoid "my life" and take a big long break from what I know. I quit smoking once before and the trick to that was to stay at a friends and change up my routine.

All habits play a factor in the main factor that perpetuates the addiction.

I hope that my thread and information contained herein can help people.

I'm a long way off from beating my habit but thanks to everyone here and the ideas put fourth I think I may have found what I needed to beat my addition..... I hope.

-AS-

ETA: I would like this tread to continue and anyone who has an addiction can post in here and possibly find the help they are looking for.

Bless anyone who has such a terrible problem. I know what you are going through.

Originally posted by AeonStorm
I wish to tell everyone on ATS the I'm an alcoholic and that it has ruined my life. There Are many things that I've done and regretted. I've come to believe that one of the reaons why I've done what I've done is due to the feeling that I have NO power.

If ANYONE else feels this way I would hope that they understand that they are not alone. I've done many thing that make me ashamed and wish that I had done things different but what I most hope is that others will not fall into the trap that I've fall into..... It's not an easy trap to escape from.

edit on 12-6-2011 by AeonStorm because: (no reason given)

Gotta say man that I have no sympathy for people who claim they have NO power.

I'm a misanthrope who likes to smoke pot, I have problems with the law, I have issues holding a job, doctors have diagnosed me with 'clinical depression' and my mother forces me to take medication because naturally I'm still rotting in her basement.

Despite all this I know I made choices that lead to this, and I have the power to get out of it.

In short, toughen up, pansy

Click here for more information.

yeah, last year or so I really picked up on my drinking. I don't suffer any of the mentioned symptoms of what an addict is. funny thing is though, I can drink a bottle and half of vodka and pass a breathalyzer. my tolerance is through the f*cking roof, and I just drink and drink and I'm not sure why anymore. if I had to explain it, it's like a nicotine craving. just really worry I'm gonna develop diabetes.