The psychology of Homosexuality

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


wow. This site clearly has some very mature posters here.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


Yeah, I think I understand where he's coming from. He said he's been down that road and has learned to hide (repress, deny, etc) his homosexual urges and now he wants all gay people to do the same.

This reminds me of when a friend would quit smoking, he'd always become this anti-smoking bigot and tell all the smoker how easy it was and that it's a choice. Then he'd be smoking again in a week. (for the record, I've been smoke-free for almost two years and I don't care that my friends smoke)

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic


I think you may have gotten the impression that "from my own experience" statement in my thread referred to homosexual impulses.

From 15-24 i was home with a severe case of social anxiety disorder. I dealt with it for almost 10 years. The depths that i descended to, and the way i got out taught me alot about the psychology and dynamics of the mind. Throughout this period i taught, and educated myself. I became very spiritual/religious.

My cousin knows this about me, and i too understand his situation. Sometimes - in order for someone to truly understand the nature of their own inner existence, requires for themselves to have dealt with something that forced their mental/spiritual development.

I dont mean to insult anyone, least of all my cousin. I would appreciate you not stoop so low to call me an in the closet gay because i admitted to feelings, which both my brother, sister, father and mother have admitted to. I also have many friends and colleagues with a similar understanding of how the mind works, and so likewise have experienced a desire - out of boredom - to the same sex. . Is it so suprising that anyone can be attracted to any human being? Be honest for a second. What is sexual attraction other then an excitement of energy? This is what Freudian psychology regards libido as; the natural numonisty (energy) of the mind. So, in kabbalistic thought, the Ego - the concentration of energy - is centered in Yesod - foundation.

If one is bored, often the most outrageously 'taboo' thing arouses an excitement out of him. Hence why most people can potentially arouse homosexual feelings if they wanted to.

Someone born with these feelings (which i completely acknowledge) has a more deeply rooted awareness of sexuality towards the same sex. However, just like I - a straight person - can cultivate an attraction to men, they too - if they werent so riddled with deep emotional complexes around this issue - could cultivate an attraction to females.

Another poster said something that i think has truth. We are all somewhere along a spectrum. Some may be totally one way - and others, totally another. And some, fall somewhere in between, more to the right (heterosxuality) or more to the left (homosexuality). This being the case, some have alot more work to do then others to correct the imbalance. This could be achieved through an active imagination, and the above exercizes i outlined, which in my own life with my social anxiety disorder has helped me liberate myself fom feelings which once arrested me completely to their reality - to a wider, more expansive awareness. It takes time, effort, and many falling downs. But i know that from where i was - and how i used to think, and how i couldnt even talk normally, or appear in public without feeling an enormous degree of shame, and how i feel and think now. I definitely think my 'wisdom' is worth considering. I only know what i do because of what i had to go through to get where i am now.

Originally posted by dontreally
reply to post by Annee

 

lol.... thats funny.

No. I'm saying i have experienced homosexual feelings and i could if i wanted to experience them. You too

I find the way you word things is quite deceptive. Seems you are trying to convince yourself.

I've actually had this exact subject discussion before with another poster.

Beyond that - - I do believe there are degrees of sexual attraction - - like the sliding scale. I believe your sexual make up can be near neutral or extreme one way or the other. If you are near the center/neutral you could be BI without much difficulty. (or choose to live straight with gay tendencies).

Originally posted by Cuervo
reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

 

Yeah, I think I understand where he's coming from. He said he's been down that road and has learned to hide (repress, deny, etc) his homosexual urges and now he wants all gay people to do the same.

Yes. I've actually had this exact subject discussion before with another poster. (unless this is the same poster with a different name).

The real truth did finally come out.

reply to post by Cuervo


Exactly. It's the message of the reformed. Most people who discover something for themselves. and decide to make a change want to share it with other people. Whether it be someone who finds Jesus, quit smoking, becomes a vegetarian or even sees a really good movie. It's human nature to want to share it and encourage others to do the same because we feel so good.

I hated it when I was still smoking, but my sister had quit. You'd think she had never touched a dirty butt, and I remembered how 'preachy' she was so that when I quit (10 years ago) I vowed NOT to preach about it. I will help someone IF they want it, but that's it.

Originally posted by dontreally
I think you may have gotten the impression that "from my own experience" statement in my thread referred to homosexual impulses.

Actually, it was when you said. "I myself have had homosexual feelings." But I'm not going to put you in a box. If you say you're straight, I respect that. I don't really care whether you're straight or gay, though.

Is it so suprising that anyone can be attracted to any human being?

It's not surprising. I'm just not sure it's true. While I can and have been attracted to other women, I don't believe that my husband could EVER be attracted to the same sex. It would be the most unnatural thing for him. Remember, just because something works for you, that doesn't mean it will work for everyone.

Not to mention the fact that there's no reason to change one's sexuality. There's nothing wrong with them as they are.

Another poster said something that i think has truth. We are all somewhere along a spectrum.

I agree with that. I posted as much here.

This being the case, some have alot more work to do then others to correct the imbalance.

This is where I disagree. I don't see an imbalance. I see variety. Differences. Individuals.

It takes time, effort, and many falling downs.

So, it's not very likely that someone who is happy with their sexuality would even be interested in doing it.

Please answer this question:

If they're happy being gay, why should they try to change?

reply to post by dontreally


I understand why you wouldnt take anything from left-ists seriously, so here's a counter-argument from the metaphysician:

In chemistry, nature, physics and metaphysics, there is plus and minus. And then there is always a certain percentage of plus plus and minus minus getting together. Its natural and expected. No big deal. Whats more of an issue is how its being politicized and its importance exaggerated by said left-ists.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic
While I can and have been attracted to other women, I don't believe that my husband could EVER be attracted to the same sex. It would be the most unnatural thing for him. Remember, just because something works for you, that doesn't mean it will work for everyone.

LOL - - my hubby went into a gay bar - sat down - and everyone else at the bar got up and left. He was actually working at a gay event - so he thought it would be fine.

In my younger days my only attraction to other women was of a nurturing feeling - but never sexual. I had the opportunity to be with a woman and a really cute Lesbian kissed me - - but it just felt odd.

However - as I get older and am losing estrogen - - I tend to want to be around women more. Still don't have any sexual urges with women - - just stronger nurturing feelings.

reply to post by Benevolent Heretic

If they're happy being gay, why should they try to change?

Thats all i was saying. It is a moral question.

If someone wants to be gay, live gay and do all that stuff, that is His or Her issue.

I gave my own personal opinion in the original post, but i never once commented on gays. I never called them 'evil' or going to hell. Frankly i dont believe i have a right to say that (because honestly, what is 'hell' other then a place to cleanse the soul/consciousness of its impurities? Everyone has some measure of that to go through when they die. Gays/Non-gays etc.). All i said was that in principle, because of the nature of consciousness, once can change his or her sexual attraction. It isnt easy and it requires a great deal of CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy) over a long period of time. The more deep rooted the feelings, the more time required to uproot, and habituate the person to new feelings, desires etc.

This is in essence what i had to do. Spend ten years at home and imagine how accustomed you become to a home life. Or how accustomed/habituated to having things done for you - by a mom who babies you too much. Or feelings of inferiority, self consciousness, anxiety, depression etc. You begin to think, feel and percieve the world in only one way - and if anyone told me different; id wail at them and tell them i cant. Its impossible!. Not until i became more religious/spiritual, and understanding of metaphysical principles, did i understand the importance of proper-thinking and courage to put myself in uncomfortable situations. Even with CBT - which is an important element in overcoming negative deeply rooted feelings, an equally important element in overcoming an emotional complex is trust. People mock the AA idea of 'acknowledging a higher power' when in fact, attested to by CG Jung himself, when one has exhausted everyother avenue, to give up ones own power to a higher power liberates the person of the burden of taking total responsibility for what he is dealing with. It frees of the stress/burden "that he cant do it". But when you expand your mind; beyond your own self, in acknoweldgement of a higher principle; it is this very principle which enables a solution. This is why AA is so incredibly succesful; when alcoholics anonymous, or eaters anonymous, or I am gay, or i have social anxiety, or whatever, the abstract potential "from without" - which seems too far, and impossible for the individual ego to assimilate, becomes a possibility and then a reality when one unloads the burden by trusting in a higher power. This is how the impossible, becomes possible.

To go more deeply into the psyche of a homosexual. Im pretty sure i understand what he is feeling. To him, only males 'excite' him, and arouses the energy we call sexual attraction. Because this feeling feels so wrong, or at the very least, abnormal (you have to be completely devoid of discernment to not understand that a male goes with a female. This isnt' trite' just because society says so. It is a natural, reasonable perception that is literally a byprdoduct of human reason) it bothers him. He feels an anxiety that he feels this way. And when he tries to experiment - through masturbation - , he cant seem to arouse a desire for it. Theres literally a 'depression' standing in the way of his want to be straight, and the current reality that what excites him is homosexual imagery. What he doesnt quite understand though, is that his 'want' to be straight, and his anxiety/depression, with not feeling that way (and if hes a christian/Jew without much spiritual knowledge, this only exacerbates the burden) undermines his ability to overcome it.

Also, one shouldnt be defined by their sexual preference. To say one is an "individual" because he likes people of the same sex, is pretty superficial. There are much deeper aspects to the self then who i want to have sex with.

i dont believe being gay is a gift from God i believe everything we know and even dont know is a gift from God. its a souls decision on picking another soul to be with it threw this journey. i believe our souls are neither male or female.

reply to post by Skyfloating


You know the NBA now has commercials to the effect of "dont say gay for things that are stupid. Its uncreative, its not cool. Its offensive to gay people"...

A few NBA players have been fined $100,000 - an insane amount, because they said 'gay', for something they thought was stupid, or dumb.

Is it really that important? Look at TV shows like glee, modern family.. They have seriously picked up their agenda; project destroy biblical values is in full effect, and has been for awhile. Just now its being literally stuffed down our throats. ABC, Fox, the NBA, CNN - all in unison - are making sure homosexuality is completely accepted, and seen as normal. And those who think differently - are abnormal, cruel, or criminals (this is the tone you get)

Im a Bible believer, and you know that. The Torah explicitly says "a male shall not lay with another male". Metaphysically this makes total sense.

Another incredible piece of information comes from the Talmud. The Rabbis in the Talmud say, homiletically of course, that the determinning factor in G-ds destroying the world before the biblical flood was homosexuality. This represented to them the complete reversal of G-ds intentions; to unify the creation; between masculine and feminine; himself and his shekinah(his indwelling presence), the infinite and finite etc. When man failed to accomplish this by living in accordance with the divine dynamic, they brought the flood on themselves.

So, the Talmud goes on to say; the end of days wont come until Homosexuality is legalized. And lo' and behold, in the last 2 years especially, the campaign to recognize homosexual rights (and i mean, those 2 TV shows, Glee and modern Family, both fabulously succesful, have come out within the last 2 years. CNNs documentary is soon to come out. The NBA 'no nonsense' policy towards the word 'gay', fining players exorbitant sums for using it for 'stupid', and running commericals against using the word, just further shows how it has really picked up steam lately) has really picked up. Is this coincidence? Metaphysically speaking, no. It goes against the natural dynamic the creator established. Just because an ABERRANT example exists in nature, doesnt mean we too our subject to that defect. Does nature have free will? does it have the ability to change itself? Man is something different alltogether; in a whole 'nother category.

Originally posted by dontreally
reply to post by Skyfloating

 

YABC, Fox, the NBA, CNN - all in unison - are making sure homosexuality is completely accepted, and seen as normal. And those who think differently - are abnormal, cruel, or criminals (this is the tone you get)

Um... you make it sound like this is a problem. Not accepting somebody because of they way they are hard-wired is abnormal and cruel.

What you call an "agenda", I call improving society and fighting ignorance.

Originally posted by dontreally
reply to post by Skyfloating

 

You know the NBA now has commercials to the effect of "dont say gay for things that are stupid. Its uncreative, its not cool. Its offensive to gay people"...

A few NBA players have been fined $100,000 - an insane amount, because they said 'gay', for something they thought was stupid, or dumb.

Is it really that important? Look at TV shows like glee, modern family.. They have seriously picked up their agenda; project destroy biblical values is in full effect, and has been for awhile. Just now its being literally stuffed down our throats. ABC, Fox, the NBA, CNN - all in unison - are making sure homosexuality is completely accepted, and seen as normal. And those who think differently - are abnormal, cruel, or criminals (this is the tone you get)

Im a Bible believer, and you know that. The Torah explicitly says "a male shall not lay with another male". Metaphysically this makes total sense.

Another incredible piece of information comes from the Talmud. The Rabbis in the Talmud say, homiletically of course, that the determinning factor in G-ds destroying the world before the biblical flood was homosexuality. This represented to them the complete reversal of G-ds intentions; to unify the creation; between masculine and feminine; himself and his shekinah(his indwelling presence), the infinite and finite etc. When man failed to accomplish this by living in accordance with the divine dynamic, they brought the flood on themselves.

So, the Talmud goes on to say; the end of days wont come until Homosexuality is legalized. And lo' and behold, in the last 2 years especially, the campaign to recognize homosexual rights (and i mean, those 2 TV shows, Glee and modern Family, both fabulously succesful, have come out within the last 2 years. CNNs documentary is soon to come out. The NBA 'no nonsense' policy towards the word 'gay', fining players exorbitant sums for using it for 'stupid', and running commericals against using the word, just further shows how it has really picked up steam lately) has really picked up. Is this coincidence? Metaphysically speaking, no. It goes against the natural dynamic the creator established. Just because an ABERRANT example exists in nature, doesnt mean we too our subject to that defect. Does nature have free will? does it have the ability to change itself? Man is something different alltogether; in a whole 'nother category.

You've crossed into a place you do not understand. Unless you're gay, you have no right to tell anyone else about how someone using the word 'gay' is unoffensive. Want me to walk around and every time I see something 'dumb' or 'abnormal', I call it straight?

You're not gay, therefore you don't understand that pain. You're not gay, therefore you will never understand that pain. Let's see you be ridiculed on a daily basis and see if you're still mentally stable. Let's see people of your same age walk around and throw 'that's gay' around like it's the word 'the'. In regards to the basketball fining you mentioned, here's a scenario. Let's say a white basketball player screams up and down the court the 'n' word. Would that be a problem? By your logic, it wouldn't, because it's 'really not important'. Your type are the very type that drive gay teens to kill themselves, and I mean that in all honesty. You say it's unimportant, and you back up your claims with a book. Removing your head from your ass may do you some good.

-sigh- This will probably be deleted/edited. I'm fine with it, do what you will mods.

Originally posted by dontreally


To go more deeply into the psyche of a homosexual. Im pretty sure i understand what he is feeling. To him, only males 'excite' him, and arouses the energy we call sexual attraction. Because this feeling feels so wrong, or at the very least, abnormal (you have to be completely devoid of discernment to not understand that a male goes with a female. This isnt' trite' just because society says so. It is a natural, reasonable perception that is literally a byprdoduct of human reason) it bothers him. He feels an anxiety that he feels this way. And when he tries to experiment - through masturbation - , he cant seem to arouse a desire for it. Theres literally a 'depression' standing in the way of his want to be straight, and the current reality that what excites him is homosexual imagery. What he doesnt quite understand though, is that his 'want' to be straight, and his anxiety/depression, with not feeling that way (and if hes a christian/Jew without much spiritual knowledge, this only exacerbates the burden) undermines his ability to overcome it.

Also, one shouldnt be defined by their sexual preference. To say one is an "individual" because he likes people of the same sex, is pretty superficial. There are much deeper aspects to the self then who i want to have sex with.

If you want to get into the psyche of a homosexual, have at it, I'm right here.
What you have just described is exactly what I felt during the many years I fought being gay. I have no "want" to be straight. On the contrary, I have an immense gratitude to God, Life and the Universe that I am gay. It has taught me facets of life that I would not have experienced any other way. Contrary to some beliefs, being gay has not hampered me on this path that I follow, Nay, it has enriched it. My partner is a man that tests me at every turn, brings me back to earth when I get too "Puffy", and is there for me no matter the circumstance. For that I can be nothing but grateful. Were I the "preferred alignment" I would not have the life that I now have, and based on all that I have been gifted, I wouldn't want it to be any other way.

But I must thank you. You have given me pause, and through that I have realized just how lucky I really am.

Edit: To DeviantMoon: well said. /bow

Well Dont Really there you go again.
Could you explain why men have nipples?

reply to post by DeviantMoon


Very well said. In your honor, I'm going to start calling everything I see that is lame, "hetero".

Or, we can all compromise and say "Takei".

Originally posted by Cuervo

ROFL... Thanks for that!

Originally posted by Lakotas

Originally posted by dontreally


To go more deeply into the psyche of a homosexual. Im pretty sure i understand what he is feeling. To him, only males 'excite' him, and arouses the energy we call sexual attraction. Because this feeling feels so wrong, or at the very least, abnormal (you have to be completely devoid of discernment to not understand that a male goes with a female. This isnt' trite' just because society says so. It is a natural, reasonable perception that is literally a byprdoduct of human reason) it bothers him. He feels an anxiety that he feels this way. And when he tries to experiment - through masturbation - , he cant seem to arouse a desire for it. Theres literally a 'depression' standing in the way of his want to be straight, and the current reality that what excites him is homosexual imagery. What he doesnt quite understand though, is that his 'want' to be straight, and his anxiety/depression, with not feeling that way (and if hes a christian/Jew without much spiritual knowledge, this only exacerbates the burden) undermines his ability to overcome it.

Also, one shouldnt be defined by their sexual preference. To say one is an "individual" because he likes people of the same sex, is pretty superficial. There are much deeper aspects to the self then who i want to have sex with.

If you want to get into the psyche of a homosexual, have at it, I'm right here.
What you have just described is exactly what I felt during the many years I fought being gay. I have no "want" to be straight. On the contrary, I have an immense gratitude to God, Life and the Universe that I am gay. It has taught me facets of life that I would not have experienced any other way. Contrary to some beliefs, being gay has not hampered me on this path that I follow, Nay, it has enriched it. My partner is a man that tests me at every turn, brings me back to earth when I get too "Puffy", and is there for me no matter the circumstance. For that I can be nothing but grateful. Were I the "preferred alignment" I would not have the life that I now have, and based on all that I have been gifted, I wouldn't want it to be any other way.

But I must thank you. You have given me pause, and through that I have realized just how lucky I really am.

Edit: To DeviantMoon: well said. /bow

edit on 6/10/2011 by Lakotas because: Add comment

Thank you sir!

Well said yourself! I'm anticipating a response from the OP.

reply to post by dontreally

I believe that feelings/emotions follow in the wake of actions.

If an action is repeated with positive reward then feelings/emotions will confirm it.