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The Conspiracy against those who want to be Jewish.

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posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 12:52 AM
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Sorry good people and bad people and those not sure, I accidentally hit the enter key when completing title and the post went live I apologise for the goof.

I woke up today and said to myself ...hey self how about converting to Judaism.
Now I know that Jews will not recognise a person as Jewish until certain criteria are met and a rigorous conversion method lasting years is completed.
But my somewhat hungover mind rumanated about the millions of now Jews who were once pagan in Eastern Europe and were compelled to mass convert to Judaism from oreders of their king from memory this happenned centuries ago, these people had no Jewish Lineage or tradition or Parents ect, so the question must be pondered can I declare myself Jewish and be recognised by the government as Jewish?
If not is this not against the freedom of religion laws?
I mean lets say I believe in the Old testament but I do not believe Jesus Christ was the son of God, have I not the right to consider myself one of the Gods chosen people?
What did those Eastern European souls do to instantly become Jewish?
It seems alla tad odd?
edit on 10-6-2011 by Dr Expired because: (no reason given)

edit on 10-6-2011 by Dr Expired because: Body missing




posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 12:54 AM
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Originally posted by Dr Expired


Great OP.
Shows me all the conspiracies against Jews in one easy place..
S&F



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 01:06 AM
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reply to post by Dr Expired
 


1) The Khazars were not European. Nor were they particularly important in history, Jewish or otherwise.

2) There are many varieties of Judaism. if you want to be a Jew, many of them will let you convert. Others won't. Ultimately you're whatever religion you swear by, as far as i can figure.

3) The United States Government doesn't give a flying flip what you call yourself. Israel, if i am recalling correctly, only recognizes Jews that fir the "orthodox" bill - that is, people born to the religion, from people born to the religion.
edit on 10/6/2011 by TheWalkingFox because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 01:15 AM
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reply to post by TheWalkingFox
 





3) The United States Government doesn't give a flying flip what you call yourself. Israel, if i am recalling correctly, only recognizes Jews that fir the "orthodox" bill - that is, people born to the religion, from people born to the religion.


This! seems sort of Strict...!


I guess they only let their own Kind become Jewish. As you know.


On the Other hand i found this Video quite disturbing
The Talmud (Hebrew: תַּלְמוּד talmūd "instruction, learning", from a root lmd "teach, study") is a central text of mainstream Judaism. It takes the form of a record of rabbinic discussions pertaining to Jewish law, ethics, philosophy, customs and history.





The Talmud (Hebrew: תַּלְמוּד talmūd "instruction, learning", from a root lmd "teach, study") is a central text of mainstream Judaism. It takes the form of a record of rabbinic discussions pertaining to Jewish law, ethics, philosophy, customs and history.


en.wikipedia.org...
edit on 10-6-2011 by TheUniverse because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 01:34 AM
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So their saying I can't be a Jew?
Iam gutted , to be a Muslim you only have to declare that you believe threee times from the heart or something similar?
To be a Christian you just have accept Jesus Christ as your personal saviour.
Perhaps God is truly elitist?
Oh Lord why wasn't I born in Israel? instead of Arizona?



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 01:45 AM
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C'mon, judaeism is not an easy thing to just get into.
Do you really expect them to just give you all of the secrets and just show you the handshake?
Ehhh, not that I'd want but if I did and a religion wanted me to jump hoops for them...lol.



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:15 AM
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reply to post by Dr Expired
 

I know of a black South African Zulu who converted and lives in Israel, so you don't have to be born Jewish, or have a Jewish mother.
From what I've heard you have to prove that you know Torah and the other scriptures after extensive studies.
You'll also have to live kosher to their satisfaction (depending on the sect).
After that converts are supposed to be treated no differently than those born to the faith.

In the meantime the best would be to get circumcised if you're not.
I've read of one sect that actually checks converts at the Israeli airport, and may give your manhood an extra little jab, just to make sure.
Finding a Jewish marriage partner may also count in your favor, and most people I've know who converted married a Jewish person, or intended marrying them.

So step one - get circumcised.
It will be useful at some stage.

edit on 10-6-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:22 AM
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reply to post by halfoldman
 



So step one - get circumcised.
It will be useful at some stage.


The cost of joining, an ounce of flesh??


If it was a strange new sect demanding that then they would be investigated...



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:23 AM
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Originally posted by halfoldman
reply to post by Dr Expired
 

I know of a black South African Zulu who converted and lives in Israel, so you don't have to be born Jewish, or have a Jewish mother.
From what I've heard you have to prove that you know Torah and the other scriptures after extensive studies.
You'll also have to live kosher to their satisfaction (depending on the sect).
After that converts are supposed to be treated no differently than those born to the faith.

In the meantime the best would be to get circumcised if you're not.
I've read of one sect that actually checks converts at the Israeli airport, and may give your manhood an extra little jab, just to make sure.
Finding a Jewish marriage partner may also count in your favor, and most people I've know who converted married a Jewish person, or intended marrying them.

So step one - get circumcised.
It will be useful at some stage.

edit on 10-6-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)

The scientific medical community have reportedly proven circumcision helps defend oneself from getting infected by the HIV virus, that is intriuging, perhaps the practice is more benefical than merely being a ritual?
But why can't we just be Jews?
I want to be one of Gods chosen...and now.



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:35 AM
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Originally posted by backinblack
reply to post by halfoldman
 



So step one - get circumcised.
It will be useful at some stage.


The cost of joining, an ounce of flesh??


If it was a strange new sect demanding that then they would be investigated...


Damn... an ounce? You could make a kite out of that thing. I'm not sure armaments of that caliber are legal for private ownership!



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:36 AM
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reply to post by backinblack
 

LOL, yeah it would sound strange if it was all invented today.
Of course it's not limited to the Jews, Muslim converts are expected to to the same.

Luckily nowadays adult circumcision is much less painful and risky than it used to be.
During the days of Barbery slavery, white converts to Islam (often, but not always, after extensive torture) were circumcised in the market-place and the risk of infection was great.
Some were ransomed and had to re-convert to Christianity through lengthy rituals of penance.

One wonders how many gentiles would have converted to Christianity (a Judaic sect at first) if the apostles didn't conveniently drop the laws on circumcision and diet.

Ironically today some Christian sects are returning to Old Testament laws, rendering them little different from the Messianic Jews, and one wonders what their status is in regard to Israeli immigration policy.
This could become a touchy issue if it becomes a mass movement.

edit on 10-6-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:39 AM
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Originally posted by Dr Expired
The scientific medical community have reportedly proven circumcision helps defend oneself from getting infected by the HIV virus, that is intriuging, perhaps the practice is more benefical than merely being a ritual?


Cutting off one's lips can also protect you against many strains of herpes. And don't forget, if you cut off your ears, you'll never get a rash or skin infection from not washing behind htem.


But why can't we just be Jews?


Same reason we can't be Hindus. Unless you want to be.


I want to be one of Gods chosen...and now.


Who says you're not already?



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:40 AM
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My irony detector is beeping like crazy,but since there is a tiny (0.00000001) chance that it is malfunctioning -
there is such thing as a giyur.
en.wikipedia.org...
I know a person who did it and it was very hard , he choose one of strict groups and they literally spied on him and his girlfriend. If they live accordingly to religious laws and such.
As far as i understand there are less strict groups but even there it takes a lot of time and studies.
Religious reason for all this mess is that Jews have some add-on to the soul that others do not and this looong tiresome process is the downloading and pluging in.
However given how many people who were not Jewish and did not have to suffer this semi-torture play very important and positive part in Jewish religion,myth and folklore i guess that real reasons are historical ones.
Judaism was very pro convertion in ancient times, but since Christianity and Islam took other , converting non-Jews was politically problematic since local religious rulers opposed it.
But you cannot say directly to person who wants to take your religion that you declare the only real one - sorry,cannot accept you for fear of persecutions since it is hyppocritical. But if there is a need for almost a year of tightly observed hard studies and life-style change - few will go for it and those who will are probably very serious about it.
My irony detector just called me an idiot for explaining it all in vain since it is for giggles, by the way.
edit on 10-6-2011 by ZeroKnowledge because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 02:58 AM
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Thanks to all for filling me in ...espescially in regards to the circumcision bit...its weird but where do all the foreskins go?
Are they cremated or buried?
Are they perhaps used for something else?



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 03:02 AM
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LOL - Sir Alan Sugar lays down the law in The Apprentice, when one candidate claimed to be Jewish on his CV and didn't know the difference between kosher and halal.
The Jewish billionaire was not amused, and said that one could always pull the lout's trousers down to check if he was indeed Jewish or not!



So if you want to be Jewish make sure to get the basics right!
edit on 10-6-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 03:05 AM
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reply to post by Dr Expired
 





Thanks to all for filling me in ...espescially in regards to the circumcision bit...its weird but where do all the foreskins go? Are they cremated or buried? Are they perhaps used for something else?

Well, the biggest Jewish secret is that all that foreskin is kept to create later army of clowns. Sorry,clones. Lucas tried to hint it in Star Wars but nobody believed him.
This is true, do not laugh. At least i hope it is ,since this:
www.associatedcontent.com...
is too discusting.



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 03:09 AM
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Originally posted by backinblack

The cost of joining, an ounce of flesh??




At least they don't want the full pound, that would be a cut too far!!

Er, that's a dick joke not a Shylock joke, just in case anyone other than the small, sorry, thought it was offensive.



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 03:11 AM
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Originally posted by ZeroKnowledge
reply to post by Dr Expired
 





Thanks to all for filling me in ...espescially in regards to the circumcision bit...its weird but where do all the foreskins go? Are they cremated or buried? Are they perhaps used for something else?

Well, the biggest Jewish secret is that all that foreskin is kept to create later army of clowns. Sorry,clones. Lucas tried to hint it in Star Wars but nobody believed him.

Wouldn't they be all dickheads?



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 03:17 AM
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reply to post by Dr Expired
 




Wouldn't they be all dickheads?

Shhh. Don't reveal project's codename in public.



posted on Jun, 10 2011 @ 03:20 AM
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I'm not sure what happens to foreskins in religious tradition.
The African tribes may keep them for a while during healing and then bury them - like the umbilical cord, thus tying them to their ancestral land.
I don't think they had traditional significance, since it was the part that was cast-off.
In the OT enemy foreskins were presented to the King, as a sign of the amount of enemy warriors killed.
David bought his wife Michal from Saul for 100 Philistine foreskins.
www.errancy.com...
It doesn't say what happened to them afterwards.

The following blog claims that foreskins are used in expensive facial cosmetics (including by Oprah), and that one medical foreskin costs $100 000!
So in modern times they seem to end up on some rich idiot's face!
instinctualbirth.blogspot.com...

edit on 10-6-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)



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