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Mark Of The Beast Solved

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posted on Aug, 6 2004 @ 07:54 PM
A) In order to know what the Mark of the Beast is, WE MUST IDENTIFY THE

B) We must identify the Beast based on the INFALLIBLE WORD OF GOD.

C) The Bible gives at least 14 CHARACTERISTICS, that pinpoint who the Beast

D) The Beast MUST FIT ALL CHARACTERISTICS. For example - Suppose the
police came to your home and said that they were looking for an idividual
who is missing. They said the individual was a child, about 7 years old,
red hair, blue eyes, freckles, 3 feet tall and his is name is charlie. If
you saw a child in your neighborhood that fit only 2 of those
characteristics, that can't be the child. If the child had 6 of the
characteristics that is not the child. The child must FIT ALL
CHARACTETRISTICS to get a proof positive match, without any doubts.

E) The number 666 is only one of the 14 characteristics that identify the

Here are the 14 characteristics that identify the Beast.

1) Arises after the other horns - Daniel 7:24

2) Different from the first horns - Dan 7:24; Rev 13:4

3) Subdues three kings - Dan. 7:8, 20, 24

4) Speaks great words and blasphemy against God - Dan 7:25; Rev. 13:6

5) Kills God's true Christians - Dan. 7:25; Rev. 13:7

6) Changes the times of God - Dan. 7:25

7) Changes the laws of God - Dan. 7:25

8) Reigns supreme for 1260 years - Dan. 7:25; Rev. 13:5

9) Rises out of a populous area - Rev. 13:1

10) Receives a deadly wound - Rev. 13:3

11) Is healed of Deadly wound - Rev. 13:3

12) Is followed after by the whole world - Rev. 13:3

13) Is a world-wide, well-known church - Rev. 13:8

14) Has 666 for his number Rev. 13:18

There is only one system that fits all these characteristics, and that is
the Roman Catholic Church, or Papacy. History testifys of this power, and
the Bible is history written in advance (Prophecy).

The Papacy claims it's Mark is Sunday, and IT ISN'T TRYING to hide the fact.
As the Bible predicted it would think to change times and law. I have
documentation on top of documentation backing up what the Bible saids,
though the Bible doesn't need backing. God backs up Himself.

The Christian accepts the Word of God by Faith. It is the POWER OF GOD UNTO

It is VERY IMPORTANT that we go by the BIBLE AND THE BIBLE ONLY. There are
all kinds of winds of doctrine.(Read Ephesian 4:14) One writer once said
"If you are looking for doubt you would find it".

"WORSHIP" Rev. 13: 15

God is calling the world back to TRUE WORSHIP, THE EVERLASTING GOSPEL Rev.

I hope this answers your questions.

posted on Aug, 6 2004 @ 08:06 PM

Originally posted by Ace Rockola

I hope this answers your questions.

Actually, no it doesn't.

Could you possibly explain to us your interpretation (on each of the 14 characteristics) that lead you to believe they are the Catholic Church?

I know a lot of people may agree with your conclusion, but I don't see how your explanation gives your conclusion any more credibility than anyone else's claims that this is the beast.


posted on Aug, 6 2004 @ 08:19 PM
For once, I'll chime in on the antichrist argument. The antichrist is not a person. The antichrist is people. Its basically when the majority of the people on the planet don't believe in God in any form, from Paganism to Catholicism. We know that Religion in itself is a fallacy; there is a vast difference in the realisation of that fact and the complete dismissal of all outside influence.

When the majority of people on the planet dismiss the idea of anything/being/person/consciousness etc being responsible for their reality, basically when our own ego encompasses us, and we see ourselves as the highlight of science and creation, then we ourselves become the antichrist.

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 02:44 AM
yeah, whatever, the old the Catholic Church is the anti-christ...

If you only knew how much good the Catholic church and Catholics do around the world for the poor, the orphaned, the disabled, the handicapped, the uneducated, the impoverished...

Mother Teresa for example, she took the ideals of Christianity and Catholicism , the Corporal Works of Mercy, to a level no one has ever before. Look at the lives of the saints, and how these Catholics influenced others to live holy, pious lives, and even sacrificed their own lives out of love for Jesus.

You look at the Catholic missionaries that minister to the poorest of the poor, providing schools, and medical does not advertise to the media on all the programs it does, nor hire celebrities to try to raise funds...

If you did some research, on all the good done by the church and it's know a tree by it's fruit...

I know your gonna mention the scandals at some point..... but that is another topic...the good that the church has done is a million times more, than bad things that a small amount of its members have done.

Pick up a Columbia magazine, and look at the hundreds of thousands of hours of volunteer work, and millions of dollars that go to charity just from Catholic men involved in the Knights of Columbus.

Do some research on the Catholic missions going on all across the globe.

The Catholic church is a far cry from the anti-christ.

The canon of the bible was defined by the Cathlic church by the way. The Protestants broke off from the Catholic church, and removed books from the bible. The bible that you have, was intitially written by Catholics.

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 02:54 AM
I don't care if the mark is sunday or not. I've always hated the day. Its the day of death as far as I'm concerned - boring, useless crappy day that it is.

It can only be excelled by Bank Holiday Monday for uselessness. Plus almost everyone I have known who are now dead met their maker on Sunday.

Can we ban it please ?

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 08:17 AM
while i definately have to agree that the catholic church is probally a front for some evil force. there is a problem with your statement and that is the fact you refer to the bible as the infalible word of god. thank you come again.

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 09:02 AM
Consider the prophecies of Saint Malachy (1094-1148) concerning future Popes. St. Malachy was a miracle worker and healer and sometimes cured people instantly by laying hands on them, and he had the gift of prophesy. In 1139 when in Rome, he received a vision showing him all the Popes from his day to the end of time.

He wrote poetic descriptions of each pope and presented his manuscript to Pope Innocent II, which was forgotten until 1590. It has been in print and hotly debated on both it's authenticity and correctness - ever since. According to his prophecies, only 2 Popes remain after John Paul II.

St. Malachy was said to have had the powers of levitation, healing, and clairvoyance. While on his way to the Vatican to assume the post of papal legate for Ireland, he fell into trance and saw a line of papal reigns stretching from the successor to Innocent II and extending through centuries to the last of the line, identified as Peter of Rome. Malachy assigned short descriptions in Latin to each pope when he committed his vision to paper.

These mottoes usually refer to a family name, birthplace, coat-of-arms, or office held before election to the papacy. Some phrases are multiple prophecies, written with ingenious word play. Sometimes the personal history of the pope plays a part in the motto given by Malachy.

The passage of time has proved doubters of St. Malachy wrong, for his prophecies have turned out to be amazingly accurate. He even correctly prophesied the precise date of his own death. His prophecies describe 112 popes begin with Pope Celestine II in 1143 to the "end of the world." Below are his prophecies of the last 10 popes:


1. The Burning Fire. PIUS X. 1903-1914. This Pope showed a burning passion for spiritual renewal in the Church.

2. Religion Laid Waste. BENEDICT XV. 1914-1922. During this Pope's reign saw Communism move into Russia where religious life was laid waste, and World War I with the death of millions of Christians who were carnage in Flanders Field and elsewhere.

3. Unshaken Faith. PIUS XI. 1922-1939. This Pope faced tremendous pressure from fascist and sinister powers in Germany and Italy, but he was an outspoken critic of Communism and Fascism which enraged Hitler.

4. An Angelic Shepard. PIUS XII. 1939-1958. This Pope had an affinity for the spiritual world and received visions which have not been made public. Peter Bander says Pius XII "has emerged as one of the great Popes of all time," and he "was in the truest sense of the word an Angelic Pastor to the flock..."

5. Pastor and Mariner. JOHN XXIII. 1958-1963. John was a pastor to the world, much beloved, and the Patriarch of Venice. The connection to "mariner" is thus remarkable.

6. Flower of Flowers. PAUL VI. 1963-1978. Paul's coat-of-arms depicts three fleurs-de-lis, corresponding to Malachay's prophecy. His coat of arms included three fleurs-de-lis (iris blossoms).

7. Of the Half Moon, JOHN PAUL I. 1978-1978. John Paul I was elected Pope on August 26, 1978, when there was a half moon. He reigned 33 days, that is, about one month, when he died, although many think he was murdered. He was the 109th Pope - is "De Medietate Lunae" (Of the Half Moon). The corresponding pope was John Paul I (1978-78), who was born in the diocese of Belluno (beautiful moon) and was baptized Albino Luciani (white light). He became pope on August 26, 1978, when the moon appeared exactly half full. It was in its waning phase. He died the following month, soon after an eclipse of the moon.

8. The Labor of the Son. JOHN PAUL II. 1978-Present. John Paul II is the most travelled Pope in history. He has circled the globe numerous times, preaching to huge audiences everywhere he goes. Even though he was once shot, he has not seemed to slow down. He has recently written a book which has enjoyed a large circulation. Like the sun which never ceases to labor and provides light daily, this Pope has been incessant. John Paul II was born on May 18, 1920. On that date in the morning there was a near total eclipse of the sun over Europe. TProphecy - The 110th Pope is "De Labore Solis" (Of the Solar Eclipse, or, From the Toil of the Sun). The corresponding pope is John Paul II (1978-present). John Paul II was born on May 8, 1920 during an eclipse of the sun. Like the sun he came out of the East (Poland). Like the sun he has visited countries all around the globe while doing his work (he is the most-traveled pope in history).

9. The Glory of the Olive. The Order of St. Benedict has said this Pope will come from their order. It is interesting that Jesus gave his apocalyptic prophecy about the end of time from the Mount of Olives. This Pope will reign during the beginning of the tribulation Jesus spoke of. The 111th prophesy is "Gloria Olivae" (The Glory of the Olive). The Order of Saint Benedict has claimed that this pope will come from their ranks. Saint Benedict himself prophesied that before the end of the world his Order, known also as the Olivetans, will triumphantly lead the Catholic Church in its fight against evil.

10. PETER THE ROMAN - This final Pope will likely be Satan, taking the form of a man named Peter who will gain a worldwide allegiance and adoration. He will be the final antichrist which prophecy students have long foretold. If it were possible, even the very elect would be deceived. The 112th prophesy states: "In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Petrus Romanus, who will feed his flock amid many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people. The End."

Malachy's final words:

"In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Peter the Roman, who will feed his flock among many tribulations; after which the seven-hilled city (Rome, the seat of the Vatican) will be destroyed and the dreadful Judge will judge the people."

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 09:27 AM
In the 70's I got a new Social Security card on the front were the typical 9 digits - but - on the reverse lower corner were 9 additional (different) digits.
9 + 9 = the same as 6+6+6

IF you do not have it - can you buy or sell a basic need like a home?

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 09:48 AM
Keg has a point. I re-read Revelations. The Beast is described as hydra-headed, many heads. It seems to me that this might imply more than one person.

The Beast has great power. It seems to me that a sufficient number of people would feel they have great power and some actually believe they are superior to the Creator, an astonishing degree of chutzpa.

I recently read at that the antichrist is found both in the bible and within the Bible Code described an "assyrian," which in itself would seem to eliminate the Catholic Church as a suspect.

Assyria of course hasn't existed for a long time, but many Middle Easterners still define themselves as "Assyrians," and perhaps somewhere in that area researchers may find what makes up the antichrist. Could it be terrorists?

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 09:53 AM

Were in the bible does it say the bible is the INFALLIBLE WORD OF GOD?

I am being serious I'd like to read more about the bible being the only source of the word of god. Is that really in there somewere?

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 12:18 PM

Originally posted by Xeven

Were in the bible does it say the bible is the INFALLIBLE WORD OF GOD?

I am being serious I'd like to read more about the bible being the only source of the word of god. Is that really in there somewere?

The compilation of the Bible (e.g. King James) isn't mentioned by words in the Bible, although most of the authors of the books in the Bible say they are inspired by God.

2. Peter 1,21: "For prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit."

2. Timothy 3,16: "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:"

Isn't it admirable that the whole Bible is written over a period of about 4000 years by alot of authors living in different parts of the Middle-East, and still their collected works did turn out to be without a single contradiction?

[edit on 7/8-2004 by otherwise]

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 01:01 PM
hi people, hope you are all well!

i have posted this before many times. what about all the stuff thats going to happen before the beast??everyone goes on and on and on about 666 and all that stuff but no one will enter into a debate longer than 10 mins about wormwood, or the war that kills 2 billion people. they wont because they HAVE NO FKCUING IDEA !!! And so its the same with 666..NO ONE HAS ANY FCLKING idea!! i mean revelations is not a confused muddled book, everything seems to happen in a certain order. so i beg the question, will ANY church still be around after the comet, the war that kills a third of the planet and the water being posioned???? many HARSH things happen BEFORE 666 happens and a LARGE majority of the earths population dies out before the final bit of the end takes place. How do YOU know you arent living in the area that gets taken out by the comet?? Or by the war ?? Or wormwood?? remember in rev it speaks of both a star falling to earth AND what seems like a mountain landing on the sea.

My point is that I believe after the first major calamities happen there wont be much of ANY structured religion left. Maybe the shell of catholicism that remains will become the beast faith, but again I think thats jumping the gun. You cannot think of the beast without giving thought to the stuff that happens before because it is those very things that lead to the beast being accepted (ie todays world doesnt care for any god..its all about money and power, but when the REAL hard times hit.....the world would take ANY saviour that came along...being the BITCH and WHORE that the world is...i call the world that because it rejects the truth of Jesus..sounds harsh i know!)

Why waste all this time going over and over and speculating this and that ....when the clear fact remains that the world will be very differnet when 666 comes...WAY different!! Why not spend that time that you spend speculating about 666 on trying to find the REAL GOD?? FIND A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?? So that he knows you and you know him??

Jesus even said "I will be with you, even untill the END OF THE WORLD!"

posted on Aug, 7 2004 @ 03:27 PM

Originally posted by Ace Rockola
14) Has 666 for his number Rev. 13:18

Have you read this website? It is the most likely interpretation of the Number of the Beast vs. the Papacy I have ever seen. It considers the next pope as the 666 man. John Paul II has the number 665...

Originally posted by Ace Rockola
There is only one system that fits all these characteristics, and that is
the Roman Catholic Church, or Papacy. History testifys of this power, and
the Bible is history written in advance (Prophecy).

If you split up the Papacy and the Catholic Church into this: Papacy = Beast and the Catholic Church = Whore, you'll get even more characteristics from the Bible to identify both.

The Beast vs. the Papacy

15) Scarlet coloured (Rev 17,3)
- The papacy do use scarlet as one of their official colours.

The Whore vs. the Catholic Church

1) Sits upon many waters (Rev 17,1)
- The catholic church has members all over the world. Over 1 billion human beings are Catholics. "Because small is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth to life, and few there are that find it." (Matt 7,14 ) - Is 1 billion a few?

1) Arrayed in scarlet and purple (Rev 17,4)
-The priesthood uses both colours on their cloths.

2) Decked with gold and precious stones and pearls (Rev 17,4)
-The catholic church is the richest church in the world. Who said God or money...? (Luke 16,13)

3) Having a golden cup in her hand (Rev 17,4)
- The same is used by the catholic church under the Communion/Mass.

4) MYSTERY (Rev 17,5)
- The catholic church calls itself "a mystery", and teaches its members what they call "the great mysteries"

- The catholic church calls itself "the Mother church". The harlots must be the other churches which fell off during the Reformation. And the church surely is behind alot of abominations of the earth, probably more than we know about...

6) Drunk (Rev 17,6)
- The church accepts everything the papacy does, even when it comes to killing the followers of Jesus Christ (the Inquisition).

7) Sits on the beast (Rev 17,7), and later on the seven heads (Rev 17,9)
- What would the catholic church be without the papacy as its pillars? It would be ruins!

8) Great city which reigneth over the kings of the earth. (Rev 17,18)
- The catholic church does have its own city, the Vatican City. But I'm sure this Babylon city is an opposition to New Jerusalem, the true church of Jesus Christ.

"And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues." (Rev 18,4)

posted on Aug, 8 2004 @ 01:46 PM
This post is a collaboration on a theory of the events leading up to the implementation of the Mark of the Beast:

And here you can find further discussions on the Catholic Church:

[edit on 8-8-2004 by cmwig]

posted on Aug, 8 2004 @ 02:19 PM
Obviously the person who started this thread is not available to discuss anything about all the claims that are made. Shame.

Anyway, the original post proves nothing more than the fact that this particular person (and this person is not alone) has fallen prey to a lot of conspiracies about the Catholic church and has chosen to buy into them. That's all. It has certainly solved/proved NOTHING.

Listen folks, all of the examples that are used to discredit the RCC are simply your beliefs. They are not facts and are only your truths if you you chose to believe them. Most of these beliefs are based on A LOT of misconception and misinformation. You are entitled to of course, but religious tolerance has no room for anyone to declare that they have solved any of the great mysteries in life, or continue to discredit any faith let alone one particular one many of you feel the need to keep confronting. Your faith is your faith, I am not knowledgeable about all of them enough to assume I can convince you you are wrong, neither would I if I could (and quite frankly I haven't seen any other Catholic doing it either).

One word of caution though for those of you who believe in "the beast" and are so fixated on the fact that it is the RCC/Pope/Vatican. You're gona miss recognizing "the beast" if he does show up but you are too blind to see it if you are barking up the wrong tree.

posted on Aug, 14 2004 @ 04:21 PM
First - Anyone who is following the Roman Catholic Religion is not the
Anti-Christ or has the Mark Of the Beast. God has followers in every
religion. If fact Jesus says "other sheep I have, which are not of this
fold (His Church): them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice, and
there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. St. John 10:16.

There are Christian Baptists, Pentecostals, Methodist, Catholics, etc. You
have alot of people of all denominations during great things for humanity.
They feed the sick, cloth the poor, have drug rehabs, community services
like Knights of Columbus, and so on.

But just because you do these or your organization does those things doesn't
mean that you are follow Christ. There are many people who are not
Christian who do these things. You have athesists who do some, you have Hollywood
movie stars who do some, etc.

Jesus says in Matthew 7:21-23 that just because you prohesied or you cast
out devils, or do many wonderful works doesn't mean anything if you don't
follow the Word of God.

You could be a Catholic, and still be lost if you haven't
surrendered to Christ. Name means nothing, if there is not a transformation
of the life through obedience. God is a God of His Word and we must
represent His Word in our lives. That's why God is calling for the world to
give Him glory, to bring us back into the image of Christ, His dear Son.

The Bible also says that Satan will come into the church along with his
demons as angels of light! 2 Corinthians 11:13-15.

The Bible says in Revelation 18:1-4 "Come out of her, my people, that ye be
not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plaques. And when
they hear the True Gospel (The Everlasting Gospel Rev. 14:6-12; Matt.24:14)
they will come out.

When the Bible speaks of the Papacy or The Roman Catholic Church being the
Antichrist, it is not talking about Roman Catholic people. It is talking
about the system, the organization. The head of that organization or system
is the Pope. God is trying to reach the dear Catholics and the world to
come out of her. (Rev. 18:1-4)

Here is a quote from a book called "The Great Controversy" by Ellen White,
who I believe had the gift of prophecy.
Here is the quote
from page 571 which I believe answers your question or statement.

"The Romish Church now presents a fair front to the world, covering with
apologies her record of horrible cruelties. She has clothed herself in
Christ-like garments; but she is unchanged. Every principle of popery that
existed in past ages exists today. The doctrines devised in the darkest ages
are still held. Let none deceive themselves. The popery that Protestants are
now so ready to honor is the same that ruled the world in the days of the
Reformation, when men of God stood up, at the peril of their lives, to
expose her iniquity. She possesses the same pride and arrogant assumption
that lorded it over kings and princes, and claimed the prerogatives of God.
Her spirit is no less cruel and despotic now than when she crushed out human
liberty, and slew the saints of the Most High.

Popery is just what prophecy declared that she would be, the apostasy of the
latter times. [2 THESS. 2:3, 4.] It is a part of her policy to assume the
character which will best accomplish her purpose; but beneath the variable
appearance of the chameleon, she conceals the invariable venom of the
serpent. "We are not bound to keep faith and promises to heretics," She
declares. Shall this power, whose record for a thousand years is written in
the blood of the saints, be now acknowledged as a part of the church of

It is not without reason that the claim has been put forth in Protestant
countries, that Catholicism differs less widely from Protestantism than in
former times. There has been a change; but the change is not in the papacy.
Catholicism indeed resembles much of the Protestantism that now exists,
because Protestantism has so greatly degenerated since the days of the

As the Protestant churches have been seeking the favor of the world, false
charity has blinded their eyes. They do not see but that it is right to
believe good of all evil; and as the inevitable result, they will finally
believe evil of all good. Instead of standing in defense of the faith once
delivered to the saints, they are now, as it were, apologizing to Rome for
their uncharitable opinion of her, begging pardon for their bigotry.

A large class, even of those who look upon Romanism with no favor, apprehend
little danger from her power and influence. Many urge that the intellectual
and moral darkness prevailing during the Middle Ages favored the spread of
her dogmas, superstitions, and oppression, and that the greater intelligence
of modern times, the general diffusion of knowledge, and the increasing
liberality in matters of religion, forbid a revival of intolerance and
tyranny. The very thought that such a state of things will exist in this
enlightened age is ridiculed. It is true that great light, intellectual,
moral, and religious, is shining upon this generation. In the open pages of
God's holy Word, light from Heaven has been shed upon the world. But it
should be remembered that the greater the light bestowed, the greater the
darkness of those who pervert or reject it.

A prayerful study of the Bible would show Protestants the real character of
the papacy, and would cause them to abhor and to shun it; but many are so
wise in their own conceit that they feel no need of humbly seeking God that
they may be led into the truth. Although priding themselves on their
enlightenment, they are ignorant both of the Scriptures and of the power of
God. They must have some means of quieting their consciences; and they seek
that which is least spiritual and humiliating. What they desire is a method
of forgetting God which shall pass as a method of remembering him. The
papacy is well adapted to meet the wants of all these. It is prepared for
two classes of mankind, embracing nearly the whole world,--those who would
be saved by their merits, and those who would be saved in their sins. Here
is the secret of its power."

This book was written in 1888.

Also, The Bible was not written by Roman Catholics. Please do some research
on the "King James Bible"

posted on Aug, 15 2004 @ 05:54 PM
Okay Ace, so correct me if I'm wrong, you are not saying those who follow the Pope are smitten by the "Mark of the Beast", yet trying to tell us the Pope is the "Mark"?

Please clarify?

posted on Aug, 18 2004 @ 05:57 PM
I agree that the Catholic Church IS Definiately Apostate,But so Is every other church! 666 is an ALLEGORY,It's metaphorically speaking about all those people who are following wrong doctrines taught in EVERY denomination of the Christian church,And at the same time rejecting the
laws of God given in His word.The "mark of the beast" isn't a physical mark
It's a spiritual mark which shows through in UN-believers by their
rebellion to the Laws of the Bible.They follow man made lies instead of the truth.(Examples:marriage & divorce,women preachers,Mary worship,
images of Christ,not preaching about Hell and Damnation,different denominations etc..)
WE ARE IN THE GREAT TRIBULATION, Satan Has taken his seat as head of the corporate church,Because God is no longer saving there anymore.
to summarize:Satan is ruling in ALL churches,the people who follow his
apostate gospels are spiritually numbered with the mark of the beast,or
the mark of the transgressors.
The Beast=Satan ruling in the church/666 (the mark)= the spiritually blind followers marked by their rebellion to GOD's Word.. The BIBLE.
Salvation can ONLY be found in the words of BIBLE,and then ONLY if it's God's will to save.
Knowledge is power: 1Pet.4:17
*** there are way too many proof texts to back this up, If interested
get the book "The End of the Church Age and After" from
You can get It FREE,The author gives 14 pages of proof texts from through out whole the Bible. GODSPEED.

posted on Aug, 19 2004 @ 03:07 AM
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary: Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's behind with us."

Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His behind?"

John: "If you kiss Hank's behind, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the stuffing out of you."

Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His behind."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the behind?"

Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John: "Then come kiss Hank's behind with us."

Me: "Do you kiss Hank's behind often?"

Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."

Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"

John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the stuffing out of you."

Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's behind, left town, and got the million dollars?"

John: "My mother kissed Hank's behind for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."

Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"

John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"

Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's behind He'll kick the stuffing out of you."

Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."

Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

Me: "Then how do you kiss His behind?"

John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His behind. Other times we kiss Karl's behind, and he passes it on."

Me: "Who's Karl?"

Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's behind. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His behind, and that Hank would reward you?"

John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."


[edit on 19/8/04 by stoneskull]

posted on Aug, 19 2004 @ 04:48 AM
Sorry Stone, But that has to be the dumbest thing I've read on this website so far.You proved nothing ,except an ignorance of things higher than yourself.If thats the basis of your denial (or should i say FEAR) of the God of Heaven... thats...sad. Your "statement of belief", sounds like something a 6th grader would say!
I don't mean to single you out,Its just every time I read something like
this It amazes me.Have you ever read the Bible??Do you realize whats at stake? or are you rejecting it for the same reason most people do? Because they can't understand it.

I'm very sorry you feel the way you do,and I pray that you might someday know the Mercy and Grace of the one and only TRUE GOD, Jesus Christ.

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