It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Men and Child support. What is the answer?

page: 61
52
<< 58  59  60    62  63  64 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 04:31 PM
link   

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


You don't run a group home........that I'm sure of


If you say so.




posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 04:53 PM
link   
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


You admitted in one of the earlier pages you and your brother resorted to a life of crime growing up. I'm assuming you have at least one police record. If I am right, then no one with a criminal past is legally allowed to work in public service, schools, group homes or nursing homes; not even voluntarily.

And since you don't have kids, as you now allege, then you don't have a clue about bringing up kids, the costs involved, the family court system, or how the child support agencies work.


edit on 5-6-2011 by bluemirage5 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 05:23 PM
link   

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


You admitted in one of the earlier pages you and your brother resorted to a life of crime growing up. I'm assuming you have at least one police record. If I am right, then no one with a criminal past is legally allowed to work in public service, schools, group homes or nursing homes; not even voluntarily.

And since you don't have kids, as you now allege, then you don't have a clue about bringing up kids, the costs involved, the family court system, or how the child support agencies work.


edit on 5-6-2011 by bluemirage5 because: (no reason given)


I have no criminal record and worked as a LEO for six years, so don't assume anything. I was also a special officer at a local high school. I have been a parent and foster parent, as well as managing two different group homes. I know full well how the courts system and child support agencies work from both professional experience, and personal experience beginning with my own experiences as a child when my parents divorced.

And with a current head-count of 12 in our house, I know plenty about raising kids and the costs.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 05:55 PM
link   

Originally posted by bluemirage5


Problem with many of you men, you seem to think all single mothers are whores. Thats the stigma they are tagged the moment they walk out of the family court. Thats NOT the case at all. A majority of single mothers do right by their children and live good clean lives.....and you men just hate that don't you!




And the problem with many of you "women",is that you believe all single fathers are deadbeats. Thats the stigma that is tagged the moment a man walks out of the "GENDER BIASED COURT SYSTEM". A majority of fathers do pay for their kids,and do right by their children,and do live clean lives....and you "women" just hate that,dont you!
edit on 5-6-2011 by sonnny1 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 05:58 PM
link   
I haven't received child support since January...I could care less if I receive any at all from my ex. My ex is not allowed any contact with the kids due to the abuse he had done to me and the kids. That's why I say I could care less. The only reason that I received it in the first place was because I was forced to comply. By forced I mean that I applied for food stamps (S.N.A.P.) and Medicaid for my children until I could afford to pay it myself.I was told if I didn't comply they would cut me off from their services. I don't appreciate being forced to comply with child support office or else I won't be able to take my children to the doctor or afford to feed them. If I don't comply I will be cut off. Tell me what kind of bs is that? He was a fugitive for years and now I'm the one that has to pay? I mean really what kind of system is this? I have no idea where he is and don't care. I have gave them his S.S. number and where he could possibly be. They harass me assuming that I know more. I don't know and I don't care. Much respect to all of the father's and mother's that do their best to pay child support. It's nice to know that some men and women actually give a damn about their kids.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:04 PM
link   

Originally posted by Theydidit
I haven't received child support since January...I could care less if I receive any at all from my ex. My ex is not allowed any contact with the kids due to the abuse he had done to me and the kids. That's why I say I could care less. The only reason that I received it in the first place was because I was forced to comply. By forced I mean that I applied for food stamps (S.N.A.P.) and Medicaid for my children until I could afford to pay it myself.I was told if I didn't comply they would cut me off from their services. I don't appreciate being forced to comply with child support office or else I won't be able to take my children to the doctor or afford to feed them. If I don't comply I will be cut off. Tell me what kind of bs is that? He was a fugitive for years and now I'm the one that has to pay? I mean really what kind of system is this? I have no idea where he is and don't care. I have gave them his S.S. number and where he could possibly be. They harass me assuming that I know more. I don't know and I don't care. Much respect to all of the father's and mother's that do their best to pay child support. It's nice to know that some men and women actually give a damn about their kids.


If I could give you a hundred stars I would. I feel your pain. Most folks dont understand that the system is designed to keep you coming back. I know about getting help. I was asked if I wanted food stamps,and health care provided.The only thing I had to do,was file child support against my Ex's.I didnt,because I DONT WANT THE SYSTEM impeding into my life. It sucks that the father cant be a real man,and support your children. Its women like you that cant get a fair break,BECAUSE of the system.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:09 PM
link   

Originally posted by Theydidit
I haven't received child support since January...I could care less if I receive any at all from my ex. My ex is not allowed any contact with the kids due to the abuse he had done to me and the kids. That's why I say I could care less. The only reason that I received it in the first place was because I was forced to comply. By forced I mean that I applied for food stamps (S.N.A.P.) and Medicaid for my children until I could afford to pay it myself.I was told if I didn't comply they would cut me off from their services. I don't appreciate being forced to comply with child support office or else I won't be able to take my children to the doctor or afford to feed them. If I don't comply I will be cut off. Tell me what kind of bs is that? He was a fugitive for years and now I'm the one that has to pay? I mean really what kind of system is this? I have no idea where he is and don't care. I have gave them his S.S. number and where he could possibly be. They harass me assuming that I know more. I don't know and I don't care. Much respect to all of the father's and mother's that do their best to pay child support. It's nice to know that some men and women actually give a damn about their kids.


Big star for that.

A guy I worked with a few years ago was unable to claim that he was his daughter's father, in any way, because if he did the mother would have to sue him for support and would risk her benefits from social services. Now keep in mind here, that neither of these parents are deadbeats, they are just poor. The father is a night-time cleaner for the state who is so broke he lives with his mother, and the mother of his daughter is a motel clerk. Of course, he hands over a lot of money in cash to help raise his daughter. Buys her bicycles and everything, he loves that kid to death. But there we go with how the system had everything twisted ass backwards.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:15 PM
link   
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


You know,the more I think about it the more I dont think 50/50 would even work...........

Joan Zorza (Summer 1995 Family Law Quarterly, "Recognizing and Protecting the Privacy and Confidentiality Needs of Battered Women") summarized, in an article not otherwise directly on this subject, but a fine summary nevertheless:

"Joint custody awards do not improve the lot of children. In fact, most children in court-imposed joint custody (not just those with abusive fathers) do poorly and are more depressed and disturbed than children in sole custody, even when the parents genuinely choose joint custody. Furthermore, joint custody results in lower child support awards, which fathers are no more likely to pay than awards made when the mother has sole custody. Joint custody does not even result in the father spending any more time with his children."
www.thelizlibrary.org..." target="_blank" class="postlink">LINK
edit on 5-6-2011 by sonnny1 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:30 PM
link   
reply to post by sonnny1
 


That one buddy of mine there that I was talking about doesn't try to make any custody claims. The daughter lives in the projects with her mother and half-sister. The father visits her a few times a week and often accompanies them to the maternal grandparents house, or for other family outings. So while he does take on a very fatherly role, he does not try to take custody or disrupt THEIR household.

On the other hand, there are other similar situations too, where the undocumented father is living in the apartment with the mother and child, trying to be a family. But that's like walking on eggs because if the state finds out that he is the father and living there, that's welfare fraud.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:43 PM
link   

Originally posted by CobraCommander
reply to post by sonnny1
 


That one buddy of mine there that I was talking about doesn't try to make any custody claims. The daughter lives in the projects with her mother and half-sister. The father visits her a few times a week and often accompanies them to the maternal grandparents house, or for other family outings. So while he does take on a very fatherly role, he does not try to take custody or disrupt THEIR household.

On the other hand, there are other similar situations too, where the undocumented father is living in the apartment with the mother and child, trying to be a family. But that's like walking on eggs because if the state finds out that he is the father and living there, that's welfare fraud.


Just ANOTHER situation where those caught in the middle,decent folks just living day to day,being used by the system thats there to help them.......BTW,kudos for running a group home. That takes alot,cause I have a friend that does it also. Talk about dealing with dysfunctional children........



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:46 PM
link   
reply to post by eccentriclady
 


Its always great to hear from a women who can see these issues for what they are,not only that you lived your life and raised your children on your own as the vast marjority of men would and not expect or demand anything from anyone.

Not only are you a decent/strong women,your a decent human being and they are rare to find on this topic.

The disgusting thing is that the women trolls here will say that you are a man pretending to be a women.

So many women think of themselves as bussinesswomen by being baby factories alone,so it does not surprise me how delluded they can get and will attack/scam/lie/cheat anything thats a threat to them gathering what they can get away with.

Which is easily seen by most of us even on this thread.To top it off one has even said that she is "better than all of us men here",funny because if the roles were reversed decent men would on mass come and put a stop to scum bag men such as that,if in fact any existed.

Could you imagine a man coming to a thread where so many women have been left destitute or lost their homes, lisence or thrown in jail, denied access to their children etc and a man comes here and virtually says "suffer!!! you women deserve it,you should have kept your legs together,your nothing but scum bag dead beats who dont love their kids"

eccentriclady I`m wondering if you believe your eccentric only because your mind set doesn`t fall into that of most western women?

thumbs up to you Lady.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 06:52 PM
link   
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


You allege now you have been a parent and a foster parent.

First you say you are a parent, then you're not, now you are again? Make up your mind. Either you have children or you don't. You already admitted you don't pay child support, therefore either your kids are over 18, you are a dead beat, or you don't have kids.

Underage kids are not prevy to the inside of the family court room nor does any child support agency have direct contact with children. Being a child from a broken home does'nt give you a wonder of knowledge how the system works. Even those working in children's group homes as well as being foster parents are not prevy to the children's private file cases. This I know 100%.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 07:12 PM
link   
reply to post by sonnny1
 


I did it myself years ago, and just got back into it because that's what my woman does. So with her pretty much came 12 problem children. Things are going pretty well though for the most part. Having a man living in the house has had a "calming" affect according to her and her sister who also runs the house.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 07:19 PM
link   

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


You allege now you have been a parent and a foster parent.

First you say you are a parent, then you're not, now you are again? Make up your mind. Either you have children or you don't. You already admitted you don't pay child support, therefore either your kids are over 18, you are a dead beat, or you don't have kids.

Underage kids are not prevy to the inside of the family court room nor does any child support agency have direct contact with children. Being a child from a broken home does'nt give you a wonder of knowledge how the system works. Even those working in children's group homes as well as being foster parents are not prevy to the children's private file cases. This I know 100%.



Then you don't know very much. We certainly are privy to private case files.

As far as being underage and not being "privy" to the information, that's crap. I was a teenager, had a brain for myself, knew what both my mother and father said, was at the hearings, and short of that was in fact an adult when they were still fighting about my little brother.

Now as far as me paying support or not goes, your post shows how closed-minded you are and how quick you are to holler DEADBEAT at a man who spends his days caring for children that no one else will. If I don't pay child-support, as I ALREADY STATED, maybe it's because I am still with the mother. Maybe it's because I have custody and the mother doesn't. Or maybe it's because I don't have to pay support because I buy my child the things they need directly.

The truth is though, that I no longer have any children, like I said.

EDIT to add: You can stop now with the digging for personal info too. Nothing you have said has been factual or substantiated. This is not about me, it's about math.


edit on 5-6-2011 by CobraCommander because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 08:22 PM
link   
Don't know about in America but here in Australia if a woman earns more than you, your child support payments kick in at a higher level of gross earnings than if you earn more than she does.
So I guess the answer to the whole men and child support conundrum is make sure you marry a woman who earns lots more than you do. Which shouldn't be too hard these days of all the high powered career women with plenty of dosh thanks to Feminism who are marrying down.
The only down side is your kids might be raised by nannies.
But from what I've seen so far, a nanny might be cheaper in the long run than a wife anyway.

Be smart going into marriage and I guess you'll be the one smiling on the way out.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 08:23 PM
link   
USEFUL STATISTICS

* 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

(Source: U.S. D.H.K.S., Bureau of the Census)

* 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

(Source: U.S- D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)

*85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes

(Source: Center for Disease Control)

*80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes

(Source:Criminal Justice & Behavior,Vol 14, p- 403-26, 1978

*71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

(Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High schools)

*75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes

(Source: Rainbows For All God’s Children.)

*70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes

(Source: U.S. Dept. of justice, special Report, Sept 1988)

These statistics translate to mean that children from a fatherless home are:

*5 times more likely to commit suicide.

*32 times more likely to run away.

*20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.

*14 times more likely to commit rape

*9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

*10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.

*9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution.

*20 times more like to end up in prison.


The U.S. Census Bureau has reported that fathers with joint custody pay 90.2% of all child support ordered; fathers with limited visitation rights pay 79.1%; and 44.5% of those fathers with NO visitation rights still financially support their children.

30% of custodial mothers not receiving child support have never asked for or do not want child support.

25% of custodial mothers do not receive child support because the father is unable to pay.

20 % of custodial mothers not receiving child support have made other financial arrangements with the father.

11% of custodial mothers not receiving child support do not have a child support order.

LINK



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 09:41 PM
link   
reply to post by sonnny1
 

Sonny...
occasionally on ATS, someone lays the hammer down.
You just did that.



posted on Jun, 5 2011 @ 10:58 PM
link   

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by Komodo
 

Last time I checked, a liar costs more than I made in a day sometimes, per hour. How is someone getting milked for all they got supposed to afford to hire one, who wants to get paid wether they win or not?


our layer was a low income/sliding scale .. but.. I got what we paid for and probably a good thing since they pop'd the surprise at the end ...



posted on Jun, 6 2011 @ 04:05 AM
link   
a news article I thought worth mentioning

Florida Man in Custody Following Shooting Rampage
That Left His Daughter, Ex-Wife's Boyfriend Dead

www.foxnews.com...

appears the ex-wife was shot also but
survived



posted on Jun, 6 2011 @ 12:46 PM
link   
if your man enough to knock her up than you better be man enough to support the child







 
52
<< 58  59  60    62  63  64 >>

log in

join