Men and Child support. What is the answer?

Originally posted by Aeons
I have a solution.

Every guy over 8 has to have a ritual vasectomy until he's old enough, willing, or proven he's got enough money to support his children until they are adults regardless of his marital status.

Look, I Fixed It. Good Solution. It would solve all your problems.

I have a good friend (male) that adopted
that idea (kind of).

He waited until he was financially set
in life, then after attaining this goal
was blindsided with impotency.
He cannot use sexual enhancement
meds due to his medical conditions.
He is a 42 yr old man whose last
name will end on his tombstone
being the only boy in his family.
Nice fix for that family wouldn't
you say ???

Originally posted by Aeons
reply to post by Ophiuchus 13

 

Only in the mind of a sociopath does the idea of feeding one child and letting other starve in a household make sense.

LAUCE see. who said others starve I said she spends it on them how she wishes she gets food supports so what you sayen???? My child is 14 And I payed all the way till now no issue her other 3 siblings are growing and I even look out for them when she outright askes me so readjust your judgment call k Take the emotions out of the content you share speak logic. Its not fair. I just gave my child some money last week outa pocket calles her a few days later to see if she got her underneeds and shoes and you know what that didnt happen her mom absorbed it into her financial set up and will probabaly make her wait till a check comes. Its a game and you gotta learn how to play it so it dont sink you for reproducing as you were told.

Originally posted by Ophiuchus 13

Originally posted by Aeons
reply to post by Ophiuchus 13

 

Only in the mind of a sociopath does the idea of feeding one child and letting other starve in a household make sense.

LAUCE see. who said others starve I said she spends it on them how she wishes she gets food supports so what you sayen????

My child is 14 her other 3 are growing and I even look out for them when she outright askes me so readjust your judgment call k

edit on 6/1/11 by Ophiuchus 13 because: (no reason given)

Why don't you re-adjust your thought process on what your actual end goal is. Because the outcome of your solution can be clearly seen in advance. All you need to do is think about it for a minute, and the outcome is apparent.

Either you can't see the outcome of such a plan, and it very bad effects, or you don't care about the outcome.

It is possible I mistook that someone would be able to make the leap to seeing how bad the outcome was. Perhaps one does care about the outcome....but just can't see what a bad idea it is.

reply to post by Aeons


I dont understand what your saying???? My end goal was go to college find a good lady advance with her and if we did then marry and you can say why didnt you marry first then have them and I will say then I would have to pay Alimony too NO THANKS.. I get the feel of my lady befor making such a financial social leap.

reply to post by boondock-saint


Yep. He'll never fantasize about how being a Family Annihilator would be so much better. Clearly, he's better off.

The other solution is to go back in time and make your babies momma's into property, people who make babies and don't have any rights outside that. Throughout history that's been a winning idea to forestall this "my babies cost too much" "babies momma's just want all my money" problem.

Originally posted by Annee
reply to post by CaDreamer

 

Thank you for paying your child support.

There's not much else I can contribute.

I am contributing with my thanks, since I have experienced very difficult times as a single mother of two children, with ex husband avoiding any payments including paying my share of the busniss we were involved together.

My message to the all stuggling fathers is: don't adopt a victim mentality towards your situations. Helping your kids and their mothers need to have heroic motivation, regardless of your position.

I know someone whose ex-husband owes her tens of thousands of dollars in child support and alimony that he just refused to pay. "But he would go to jail" - nope. He just refused to pay. He moved around the country, changed his name, etc. Anytime she finds him he just disappears again. By now the amount he owes is so much that even if she got him nailed down and garnished 90% of his wages he would be unable to pay off the debt.

reply to post by Blazer


See hes avoiding his responsibilities majorly. Me I consider my children watching their mothers struggle so I try to be cool but really the money goes where the moms want it too. Not the kids.

reply to post by Aeons


Bad solution, only the rich can have kids?
I made alot of cash in my time but, to say we were rich would be a huge stretch.
My wife did an awesome job as Mom and I did ok as Dad, all that and we were strapped.
Cash is no indicator of fitness to parent.
Ala Brittney Spears.

reply to post by CaDreamer


Families who are together still struggle to make ends meet. Who is to say that if you remained one household, you wouldn't have the same struggle. You might be paying out the same amount of money to provide for your child, one way or the other.
The difference is that the same amount of money is now divided between two households.

I applaud you taking care of your children.

But this notion that you should be rewarded for actually taking care of your children is absurd. You want to be rewarded for NOT being a deadbeat dad?

That is like a person saying they should get a reward for not being an alcoholic.

reply to post by Aeons


Agreed statistics lie.
With that said, I have worked and have personally known hundreds of victims, these are not numbers or stats, they are people.
Numbers can lie but I have seen reality and it pretty much backs up the claim divorce is a financial death sentence for men.

So back to the OP a card CHILD SUPPORT CARD. That will make the purchases more transparent and allow the kids to get what they need.

EDUCATION is the answer!

Just imagine you're a 14 or 15-year-old boy and you're in school on your way to health class... You hear babies crying in the distance and as you get closer to the classroom, the voices get louder and you discover that there are 16 babies and their mothers, plus a few dejected-looking men sitting in the corner of your classroom for today's lesson: CHILD SUPPORT

The air is tinged with the scent of baby powder, crossed with the odor of poop and a little vomit. as the mothers walk around, jostling crying babies in their arms and worrying over their little ones.

As you take your seat, the teacher explains that you are all going to learn about the consequences of unprotected sex, what it means to support a child and what the different forms of child support look like.

Since some young fathers choose to stay with the pregnant girl, during the next couple of hours, each kid has the opportunity to discover just what it's like to change a poopy diaper and deal with a crying and possibly puking baby.

Also, there will be an in-depth lecture about the legal obligation for financial child support (for those who do not remain with the child's mother for whatever reason) and how much money it takes to raise a child...They would learn of different case stories where men were royally screwed by women they thought they loved. The dejected-looking men are the guest speakers - some of whose lives were ruined by some woman saying she was on birth control...

Then the class would close by explaining what MEN can do to PREVENT unwanted pregnancy. By the time class was over, those boys would be EMPOWERED with information they could then use to go out and inseminate no more!

Education is the answer.

No, I don't think it's the school's job to teach this, it's the parents' job. But parents are failing miserably today in teaching their kids ANYTHING. So, I would support teaching this in school.

.

Originally posted by Ophiuchus 13
reply to post by Blazer

 

But really the money goes where the moms want it too. Not the kids.

Yes, thats precisely the excuse my ex makes for not paying a penny towards his three children. He likes to make out to all unsundry that he pays of course. Fact is not only is he incapable of buying a pair of shoes every 6 months he also actively threatens to make himself unemployed if I dared to get the Child support agency on him.

Still - All that aside we are better off without the childish 45 year old star wars toys buying fat prick. So I've never bothered going after his money. He can stick it where the sun don't shine.
HASBRO

There are ways to reform or make a system which is fair, and reasonable.

There are some aspects of some child support systems which have controls which are not the best.

Did women make it this way? Think about that. Because the answer is obviously no. Most government reps are males. Their department heads are males. The people passing the laws, statutes, regs, are generally males.

One thing remains consistent though. Many people in the position to make these laws, and make the bureaucracy around them have an agenda. Often many of them, left, right, center, have strong opinions about families.

Interestingly, in governments where there are more females in governmental rep positions in almost equal numbers, the systems for these are actually more FAIR. Mull that.

Let me talk about a seeming unrelated topic for a moment. Many people with government powers do not support trying to eradicate sexually transmitted diseases. Put aside your beliefs about vaccines for a moment, and think about the arguments put out about why not to inoculate for genital warts (HPV vaccine). Most of those arguments were from lobby groups, and government reps who WANT people to be afraid of getting STDs so that they won't screw around.

Those people with governmental authority, for religious reasons usually, WANT you to be punished for not engaging in sex and relationships in a way they consider to be optimal. So they want you to see people be punished for doing so.

Well many of the people in government are men, and they know that you value your wallet. They WANT you to know that if you decide to skip out on being in a family unit after having children, that they WANT you to feel it. They want you to tell others about it. They want you to scare the crap out of other guys with your horror stories.

They don't want to reform those things that aren't right....not because your ex is such a meaney.... but because they want guys to stay with their babies Momma. They BELIEVE with all their hearts that this is the best thing.

Just the same way they want people to die of HPV genital wart induced cancer for having sex.

This is a regressive punishment. It is being done due to the religious beliefs of a large sub-set of the people making the regulations.

Blaming your ex-wife is WAY easier and more satisfying than looking at what is actually happening, and thinking about if your ex-wife is actually the people who put these laws and regs in place to begin with.

Originally posted by CranialSponge
Here in Canada, the payer of child support claims it as a deduction to their taxable income and the receiver pays tax on the income received.

So it balances out accordingly.

Maybe the US will catch up with the 21st century some day.

edit on 31-5-2011 by CranialSponge because: (no reason given)

Canada just keeps getting better and better , until... I realised that it is freezing, freezing cold most of the time and thats not attractive to me.

Shouldn't get me started. After paying for 15 years then another 2 while my daughter went to college I get stuck with the college bill twice. Once because the court order said her mother was supposed to put part of the money away every month and she didn't and the second becaus it the papers it said I would pay for college. lawyers decided to ignore the part where the mother was responsible to put the money away and only saw that I would pay for college and the court agreeded.So my ex hates me and so does my daughter and I don't really care. Our last conversation was :"Yu can't keep me out of your will I asked a lawyer" My response was "Your right you get one hundred dollars and the rest goes to my non profit" that was ovet 10 years ago

For those of you of the mindset saying "it's ok let em do it to you".
Think of it this way, Imagine working on your retirement.
Now for the first 20 years all of your pay goes away, buh bye, gone far far away, forever.
Now start to plan your retirement at the age of 40, not so easy to do.
Now you have pushed your retirement back to 80.
No wonder huh?
If Fathers ever got together and looked at this angle, they might realize they were actually slaves in a free country and revolt.

reply to post by CaDreamer


Don't have so many kids if you can't take care of them. Incentive for nothing.

reply to post by Suspiria


I feel you Suspiria as there are males who take it as an excuse to bail out . Me tho I see the tomfoolery and pay it either way and keep it moving. It bothers me to see how its spent but I see how you feel 45 and hasbro is a done deal lol. Be well