It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Men and Child support. What is the answer?

page: 25
52
<< 22  23  24    26  27  28 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 09:31 AM
link   

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


I disagree.....child support IS for the day to day living costs of a child until he/she turns 18 or has left school. I don't know which country you're in but we have the CSA website and plenty of info there......it's quite clear and in black and white.

No custodial mother should have to pay 100% of all the rent, utilities, food, clothing, transport, education, medical/dental etc for her and her kids. You pay half of the kid's share then you'll find communication improves somewhat.

Now.......what do YOU think child support should cover? I can't to see your reply!


If its YOUR house pay YOUR own damned rent. Whats the problem with that. Just cause some fool was unlucky enough to get you pregnant you feel that he now should be made to pay for your house and new car? WTF?

MOTF!




posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 09:46 AM
link   
In CA, demand half custody, physical and legal, so that you have your child half the time, and your child custody payment will be minimal. That is the answer. The courts will not want to give you this, but unless they prove that you have a drug or violence problem, then the law clearly states that you have a right to split custody.

The people who run the courts, sadly, are low down scum bags.

It should be an automatic deal, but the more they can keep you coming to court, the more charge numbers they have to justify their jobs. If there is no established history of drugs or violence, the custody should be 50/50. From what I have seen, women are just as likely to be dead beats as men.

The sad thing is that even when the woman is proven to be a waste case, the court will want to give her custody, and should the man get full custody, the court will do nothing to enforce child support payments.

Learn the laws, don't rely on your lawyer. Lawyers only want to take your money, they are almost all complete scumbags.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 09:46 AM
link   
reply to post by MessOnTheFED!
 


Sorry, MOTF. I usually appreciate a lot of your posts but this one I have to disagree with. It is the custodial parent's house, but the child has to live there. I have been the child of a single parent with a dad that didn't take care of his responisibility. Two parents not getting along, one handling their business, but I was the one that suffered. It is the other parent's responsibility to help to take care of the costs of raising the child. I'm not saying they have to cover 100% of the costs. They shouldn't go hungry or not meet their own needs because of child support, but it shouldn't be left up to the custodial parent. True, the government usually gives the dad the shaft when it comes to how much he pays. That isn't fair, but I'm not talking about that. New houses and cars dont' have to be bought. Just help the mother take care of the child. That is the right thing to do.
edit on 2-6-2011 by Abrihetx because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 10:28 AM
link   
reply to post by Abrihetx
 


I know I might come off as a little harsh here, but thats just me i guess. I see all these women have been fighting for "equal" rights for years but when it comes to children they deffinately have more rights than a man does and its not right at all. If you want to be a responsable parent then you do that. If you dont want to have the responsability, as a man, of having children then that should be your right. A woman can have an abortion or give a child up for adoption without any sayso from a man. BUT if a man doesn't want to take responsability.... "No sir pay up or else!". WTF is that all about? It makes me really angry. Didn't mean to step on anyones toes though.

MOTF!



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 10:30 AM
link   

Originally posted by CaDreamer
reply to post by Annee
 


there are references and dates provided in the post
i went back and bolded them for ya. cheers


I saw the dates - - latest being 1992.

Where are the demographics? Where is the income levels? What was the full purpose/focus of this study?

I'm not saying the statistics are wrong. But statistics can be misleading if full information is not known.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 10:34 AM
link   
reply to post by Flighty
 





We are pushing our men further and further to the brink without realising where all this is heading. It's being done purposefully and insiduously by the court systems and TPTB with an endgame already etched out.


Very good post Flighty...........and you have hit the nail on the head and your above statement is very very accurate and insightful.

It is sad that your simple short post will go way over the head of 90% of those that read it.

This conspiracy is truly being etched out by TPTB and for a purpose. Any predatory animal knows that when hunting in order to really be successful you separate the bulls from the cows.......why? The bulls are stronger and they instinctively protect their cows.

TPTB simply want a bunch of little zombie worker drones that work without questioning, without feeling, just work and "do their jobs".

TPTB, the ones at the top of the pyramid have zeroed in on the strongest unit of humanity, the FAMILY and nobody, particularly the women are getting this. They're so busy yaking on their cell phones, watching and buying into Bridezillas and Stupendous Wedding Cakes and the Queen for a day experience, that they have completely forgotten what it is to honor a committment, a sacred vow.

Society has now produced a bunch of spoiled, narcissistic princess brats.

If you are going to sleep around, good, go for it girl, party it up......live, experience have fun. I had a wild youth and even attended a few orgies.

BUT......................Grow up. Once you put on that wedding ring, once you say "Until death do us part, for better or worse", and once you decide to bring a human life into this crazy world, in my book a sacred vow is that, a sacred vow and I am a man (in this case woman) of my word. If I make a oath, a vow, I keep it because to do other wise would make me a dishonorable person.

Now, many women will say, "well people change, he wasn't what I expected........blah blah and more blah".

1) Live together for at least 2-5 years and make double sure (both) use birth control. Why? because the longer you live with someone the more you find out about them. Do they secretly have a drinking/drug addiction? Are they lazy? Do they leave their dirty socks in the middle of the living room floor and you just can't stand that? Are they nice? Are they really kind to little kids and animals? Do they have anger management problems? Do you? Whatever your values are, whatever you are looking for in a person, if you live with someone long enough you will know them.

If you live with someone before bringing a innocent little baby into this world you will avoid a lot of problems down the road.

2) For god sake, so many women now are simply getting married to have the Bridezilla, grand princess party experience and than the mommy experience..............not really thinking of actually committing to the man they are marrying but rather just to "experience" a huge wedding centering around them and than the experience of having a living being within you for 9 months and giving birth.

Who suffers when the sacred vow, the oath is broken, the family unit is destoyed (usually by the woman)?

First and foremost the child(ren). Every child deserves to have a mother and a father. Every child deserves to have a mother and father that treat each other with respect and love.............a child will not do as told, they learn by living and watching how their parents live.

A child learns how to compromise and get along and not always get their way by watching their parents compromise and work things out..........(that was a comment my son made to me in observing my husband and I for 35 of our 37 years of marriage).

Every child deserves to know their heritage...........I am a paternal grandmother. The maternal grandfather wanted my beloved sweet little grand daughter aborted - thank god my ex daughter in law decided to have this one.............thank god because my grand daughter is a most wonderful, sweet and beautiful being.

We now are a society (and TPTB want this so) of narcissistic, zombie, corporate workaholics. People that solely think of themselves and instant gratification.

Don't you people see how TPTB want us this way, divide and conquer............and yes this includes the sacred union of marriage. When you divide a people be it by race, religion and GENDER, they are easier to control and manipulate. I watched this technique in offices I've worked at, it is how the few control the many, god don't you folks see this?

Men, this is partly your fault too.

You passed up the chubby not so pretty girl in favor of the knock out cheerleading beauty queen............you thought with the head between your legs and bought into the Playboy frap instead of "courting" - getting to know the person and what makes her tick.

Courting, ahhhhh the old term for getting to really know somebody.

When I was in eight grade, I was going from a Catholic School into a public school and at the time I was 36C - 24 - 34, long shiny thick brown hair with strains of red (Irish), big brown eyes, clear, creamy skin, by traditional standards I was pretty, never had to worry about being asked to dance at any of the church dances, never sat out the entire time because all the boys wanted a turn to dance with me.

Father M called me into his office one day before graduation from eighth grade and gave me this little talk. Now yes for many of you young hip and cool folks this is out dated but this talk served me well. And while this was over 35+ years ago, I can't remember this little talk word for word but it went something like this.

"Sister T told me about you not liking white underwear". (I had gotten in big trouble because we wore plaid skirts and white blouses and I tie dyed my bras and all the other girls paid me a couple bucks each to do the same)...got in big trouble because you could see bright colored bras under the white blouses
At this point he chuckled and said, "You may end up a fashion designer, who knows!"

"Sister T says you like the boys too..........so it's evident you're not going to be a nun. Well my dear, I can only offer you a little wisdom, a little fatherly advice as I know sadly you do not have a father.

You are a very pretty and charming young lady. I imagine within just a few months you will no longer have Sister T and Mother A watching out for you.................you will be out in that crazy and wild world all alone.

A word of advice my dear. Many men will try to persuade you to overlook, forget the morals we have tried to instill in you here at St X.

A simple kiss may insight within you very hot and intense feelings. You will need to try to remember with each young man you date, to ask yourself, would I want to bear this person's child? Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this person? Would he make a good father to any children we may have? That last question you need to really think about.

Get to know someone before you allow them that first kiss. Get to really know them by talking with them. Find out the true nature of their moral charector or lack of, before you allow them the privilege of knowing you on a personal level. Talk with the boy, ask him what he wants in life, what he feels is right and wrong, does he have a conscious, does he have moral standards, is he a kind and wise person vs a mean and selfish one? These are questions you must really think long and hard on when dealing with the world of men.

When you date a young man, you are essentially, like shopping in a supermarket, trying to locate that one special someone you will spend the rest of your life with.

All children, all babies deserve to be loved and cherished and to have both a mother and father to guide, protect and love them.

Many grown ups now are starting to think only of their own needs and wants and not thinking ahead of the consequences of their actions.

Choices you make right now can and will affect your entire future. It is a shame that so many young people do not realize that some choices they make are permanent and once made cannot be unmade.

People that plan ahead, that choose wisely, that look beyond physical and instant gradification usually end up happier in the long run than people that live for the moment.

That is what makes a human different than an animal. An animal does not think ahead or weigh how their actions will affect them. God has given man the intellect and free will to plan ahead.

Each young man you date is a potential mate, that is the purpose of dating. And, I am sure many young men will try to trick and tempt you into giving into the feelings you will feel and sometimes it will be very hard to control these feelings but you must try to always maintain control because if you give in to temptation you could end up very sorry and cause much heart ache for yourself and others.

Be very careful out there, the world and many of the people out there will try to use you much like a tissue and than discard you.

Some men are very good at using fancy words and know how to charm girls to get what they want. They will give you flowers and pretty trinkets and write you love poems..........look at history, Henry the VIII, Sister T told me fasinated you..........have you read his love poems to Anne Boleyn and than a short time later he had her head cut off. So words, flowers, love poems, even crowns are meaningless in the end.

When you date, take the time to first really talk with the young man. Ask him what he thinks about the world and people in general.

I cannot stress enough, you will need to exert caution and prudence for many will try to trick you and some people sell their souls without even realizing it.

Always try to think things through long and hard before you jump into any situation. May God watch out and protect you because the world and the world of men is a harsh place my child."

I pretty much remember even after all these years that talk and while I yawned and thought, God this guy is a old foggie, years later I reflect back on his words and they carried me through some pretty crazy moments. I actually did take great caution and he was right, a lot of young men tried to "tempt me"...........men cannot help it, it is their nature, our millions of years of genetics made them such.

Than we prayed together...................and BTW, I never really bought into the Christian faith (sorry for you Christians out there I don't mean any disrespect) but secretly since being orphaned at 9 I never quite believed in a singular old man in the sky god (See "The Invention of Lying" with Ricky Gervais movie).

Now flash forward almost four decades later..............my grand daughter one day not too long ago asked me, "Gram, why did you marry Grandpa?"

I replied, "Because he was intellegent and kind". She then piped in, "What about his blue eyes?"...........I laughed, "Yes and because of his beautiful blue eyes."

This is a long and probably boring post, I apologize but if this helps just one young person out there that has no guidance than the time and energy I've spent is worth it.

Keep in mind you women out there that decide to discard your husband and his parents, they, the father and his mother and father are as much a part of your child's heritage as you and your parents.

To not allow your children to know their father and his parents is wrong wrong wrong on so many levels. You thus cheat your child(ren) out of their heritage and that is what TPTB want, they want us all, to be good little slaves with no family connections.............and your child(ren), the blood that courses through their veins has 50% of their father's DNA within them.

Having a baby does not mean that baby has 100% of your DNA.

Sorry, doesn't work like that.

I see so much of my son, my husband and myself in my grand daughter, her little mind works exactly like mine
it's not even funny, it's down right scary. She has the intellect and compassion of my husband, the strength to endure hardships like me and the ability to react in cool, calm and logical manner like my son.

She does not have the psychopathic nature her mother has, nor does she say one thing and mean another........she is like her father (my oldest son) and me, in that respect, she calls it like she sees it.

Remember this..............united we stand as a country and as a family unit.

Divided we fall and TPTB intend to divide us in order to conquer us.

Again and I keep saying this in many of my posts..............I am not having another grandma senior moment, ask yourself and than start researching, really researching who the real PTB are.

This is a conspiracy, the mf of all conspiracies because humanity is under attack. We are at war and have been for a long time..........it is a covert war, a long drawn out war with the intention of true assimilation (yes watch the Star Trek Episodes of the Borg)...........sometimes fact is stranger than fiction.

The most sacred and strongest bond is that of the family and that is being broken apart.

Now, ask by whom.

The rabbit hole goes real deep on this one issue and it's a lot more complicated than most people realize.

I leave you all with just one quote - and this confirms Flighty's comment and proves this is a conspiracy to separate man from woman.

"I don't want a nation of thinkers. I want a nation of workers." John D. Rockefeller

TPTB (Which may not even be human) want to divide us. That is the only way they will be able to conquer us and they are well on their way to achieving their goal.

Break up the family unit. Deny children their rightful heritage and you have a slave. Someone that owes their
allegiance to the state and not a family............for they now have no real extended family.
edit on 2-6-2011 by ofhumandescent because: grammar and spelling



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 10:48 AM
link   

Originally posted by sonnny1
Amount of child support received by custodial fathers in 2005.
In contrast,custodial mothers received 22.4 billion


Percentage? There are way more custodial mothers then fathers. Hard numbers is misleading.

Hey - I tried to have joint custody with my kids dad - - he didn't want anything to do with it. I was given the minimum child support - - even though I had been a stay at home wife and mother. I had no job - no skills. If I had no family to help me - - I would have been screwed.

This was California.

I had to get out of the marriage. He became jealous of his own children. When your 4 year old says to you - "How come daddy hates me" - - ya have to do something. He had already arranged his work schedule so he was never home when the children were. They only saw him on the weekends. Me he'd wake up from a sound sleep when he came home to pay attention to him. This guy was no loser. He was independent - - self-supporting - - graduated high school at the top of his class - - was attending college. Sometimes you just don't know.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 10:48 AM
link   
reply to post by MessOnTheFED!
 


It's all good, MOTF! In some cases, women are right to fight for equality. I think in this case, screw equality and ego, etc and do what's in the best interests of the kid. I have a coworker that sends $1200 per month to his ex wife for their three kids. He goes in the red every month just trying to take care of the mortgage that she left him with along with all of the other monthly bills he has to pay. He struggles and the sad thing is that he was completely willing to send money to the kids. He barely lives, while she lives it up. I know other men that file the child support charges on themselves just so that they can have rights to see their child. There are certainly some "mothers" out there that are milking the system and their main concern is the money, not the child. I also know of people that make the best out of this situation.

I was going to quietly tiptoe around the abortion/responsibility/adoption topic, but just want to say this: If a guy doesn't use a condom, then he is essentially giving his man-juice to the woman to do with as she sees fit. If he doesn't want a kid, then use protection. Simple as, really.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:08 AM
link   
reply to post by ofhumandescent
 


I agree with almost everything in your post...up to the may not even be human part.
It's very funny though how the "Elite" families always stay together as a unit too.
Sure there are Novoue (SP?) Riche that don't Like celebrities, and like my dad who grew up poor but got wealthy that do seperate the family, but all the "BIG" Families always stay as a unit...This proves they know what it's all about and what they're doing to society as we know it.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:16 AM
link   
reply to post by MessOnTheFED!
 


He should pay HALF of ALL the day to day living costs of his children........thats what child support is for! You don't like it? Go tell a judge in the family court and your child support agency, they WILL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU in very simple terms!
edit on 2-6-2011 by bluemirage5 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:28 AM
link   
reply to post by TKDRL
 


Good for you for not having kids.......

It's an 18 year responsibility for most parents and for all your life if you have a child with a disability.

The problem here is a majority of fathers feel they are only responsible for their kids so long as their marriages survive. If mothers don't fight for what their children deserve, who is going to fight for them? Women and children are not dogs or cattle.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:30 AM
link   
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Thats how it was in the 1950's to the early 1980's. Obviously you are a different generation to me. A majority of marriages in those days survived.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:33 AM
link   
reply to post by And Now What
 


You did totally misunderstand me. What I was saying was 50% of the childs needs, which includes utilities and rent. But 50% of the childs needs, No more no less. Your completely reading what I said wrong and reading more into it then there was.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:33 AM
link   
reply to post by Abrihetx
 


LMAO! Man juice....

The way i see it is. It takes to to tango, No? So it should be 50/50 the whole way down in a perfect world. Even when it comes to taking respnsability. Not 100/0 as it is now.

MOTF!



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:34 AM
link   
The strangest part about child support in the USA is that if you find you have other kids by other mothers, your payments go down, not up. More breeding, less cost. It is as if our government is promoting multiple families by one father. More cannon fodder I guess.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:35 AM
link   
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Mate; those stats were 1989........it's now 2011

HELLO! Wakey wakey!



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:37 AM
link   
reply to post by bluemirage5
 


I dont need any explaining thank you. I saw that i was going to have a child and alredy had a pretty good idea that her mother was a POS. So i did what any responsable adult would do. I went to school and learned a trade, got a decient job, and did it all on my own. Sometimes it was hard, But i NEVER expected anyone else to chip in. Thats what being a responsable adult is.... Taking responsability for your actions no matter what the other parent does. My little girl is 6 now and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Im still in night school. 6 years of school now. Ill never point my finger at someone and tell them what they need to do because i know i have the ability to do what i need to by myself. You do too.

MOTF!



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:45 AM
link   
reply to post by ofhumandescent
 


I agree with most of your post however unfortunately there are some sad cases out there where some non-custodial parents don't have access for good reason while the same could be said for some custodial parents.

Too many children are dying almost every day at the hands of a parent during access and with the custodial parent.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:47 AM
link   
reply to post by MessOnTheFED!
 


Good for you......there are plenty of responsible parents on this thread while there are others who think they're hard done by because they have to pay child support.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 11:49 AM
link   
reply to post by earthdude
 


Thats true....the same happens here. I can't figure out for the life of me why some parents go on to make new families when they can't afford their "old" families.




top topics



 
52
<< 22  23  24    26  27  28 >>

log in

join