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Men and Child support. What is the answer?

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posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:40 PM
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Originally posted by stargate73
The mothers who abuse this need to receive education on what this money is actually for and be forced to account for their spending. I know plenty of custodial parents who receive child support and refuse to work and it makes me sick. It is not the father's responsibility to support the child 100% let alone the custodial parent, it should be a 50/50 venture.


Oh I so agree. I really support the non-custodial parent should be able to designate payments to something concrete.

My younger daughter by intent makes sure her child support payment goes toward rent every month. She feels her children having a stable home place is #1 priority. He also pays for daughter's insurance and activities such as dance classes. So he knows exactly where the money is going.




posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:41 PM
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reply to post by CobraCommander
 


Or they took out a mortgage they knew they could'nt afford and ohhhhhhh those pesky credit cards. Yep...that soundns more like it. I'm no fool!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:41 PM
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Child support and alimony is sadly the new debtors prison for men. On top of what you pay which has been declared by some states an unconstitutional formula you must also pay a nominal fee to the county to which you owe annually.

They care not how much it costs you to live. They live and die by a very flawed formula and are enforcing it with an iron hand. An argument could be made that in a current situation, if they parents and children were all living in the same house hold the kids would most likely be eating Raman for dinner every night and you may still not be able to cover all the bills.

They care not for reality, only that you pay. If you fail to do so, they will call out the watch and take your drivers license (That makes allot of scene) throw you in jail so not only can you not pay your child support, tax paying dollars must keep you housed or subject you to weekly or bi weekly court dates that would impede your ability to be employed.

On top of that, consider that over 45% of all company's across the U.S do background checks and if there is an order for support, you may not get the job simply for the reason it is an accounting nightmare. Free men and women are equally responsible for creating babies, it is not the states business to rule over those relations because they fail to take each case as it is.

All cases resulting in pregnancy and child birth are not equal and are exploited by women every day. Men are bent over the stove on this issue, we have no say on birth or abortion, we are automatically the non parental parent and we are forced to live in a box by laws that take enough of our pay in this economy to force us to cheat because we can not even pay the most basic of bills.

All this while not in every case but a large amount of women wait for there child support payment so they can get there nails done. I have an ex with two of my children who ended up married to her divorce lawyer and while I struggle to keep hot water and electricity she has gone on two vacations in the last 8 months, to Aruba and the Bahamas.

Must be real nice, I haven't been on vacation in 10 years and can barely afford an internet connection but ya..... Im sure those kids would just starve without my draconian child support payment every month.
edit on 1-6-2011 by Helious because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:42 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


Mate......I bring up 3 children, now late teens and almost adults. I received $24.00 a month child support for all 3 allocating them to less than $2.00 each a week each.

My kids got what they needed.....mind you though, I don't have more than 3 pair of shoes in my wardrobe, my hairdresser see's me like clockwork once every 5 years, I don't have pedicures or facials (do that myself), I have a very basic wardrobe because I'm not a clothes freak. My social life is non-existant because of my duties as a mother and a businesswoman. I'm frugal, recycle what I can, I have no debts. I have a sharp mind when it comes to money and I'm damn good at juggling with what I have. There are no throw outs in my house; as kids clothing becomes worn and too small, you'll find a beautiful quilt on a bed somewhere in the house or cushion covers made up from scrap fabric and old clothing. Unwanted gifts becomes rewrapped gifts for someone else. You'll be surprised what I have accomplished.

Yep, I know how to survive; put me in a tent and within a month I'll be living like a wealthy Shiek!



Hey, that's cool. I'm not knocking you for your accomplishments and perseverance. I know poverty all too well.

That still doesn't change the fact though that child support is NOT for rent, utilities, car payments, trumpets and football pads, or anything else of the sort. Now id the man chooses to help out in those regards, good on him, he should to the best of his ability in fact. But that does not mean he MUST do that under orders by the state.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:43 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Mate; it would had been easier if you told us you had a child with a disability. I too have one and I know the medical costs involved. Perhaps next time you would be alot clearer?


i didnt want to give too much of my personal information in the thread. i am unimportant to the issue. cheers



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:43 PM
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reply to post by Helious
 


Without reading your entire post....just the mention of that word "alimony".......this really needs to be squashed.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:44 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by HomerinNC
 


There you go....so ex wife allocates you to more access time than your family court agreement! So your ex wife is not so bad after all, huh?


Bet the ex wife doesn't tell the court that though when it comes time to adjust the support payments.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:44 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Helious
 


Without reading your entire post....just the mention of that word "alimony".......this really needs to be squashed.


What exactly does that mean, I fail to understand your not reading my post and then commenting vaguely.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:47 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


Or they took out a mortgage they knew they could'nt afford and ohhhhhhh those pesky credit cards. Yep...that soundns more like it. I'm no fool!


You're kidding me right? Every guy I know who is divorced and making payments, wound up divorced after they moved into the house the wife insisted on having, right after the second baby she insisted on having. And I really hope you are kidding that men are the real credit card spenders. Home-shopping network, hell-o!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:50 PM
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Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by CobraCommander



Lol. I am not a fan of abortion really. But so long as that is an option for women, that is where the man's responsibility ends. If she wants to keep it, that's her choice.

Not to mention that she could also give it up for adoption. Can the man put the kid up for adoption if he can't afford to pay support?


BS - the man's responsibility starts the minute his zipper goes down.



sorry annee, unless you are talking rape,

it takes 2 to tango, it has to be worked out when known or before hand.

when the law or a hostile spouse or partner insists then there are real dangers.

a dad can take the kids if he has the money, a mom can plead victim, useing the kids is what it all comes down to.

been there, not done that.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:50 PM
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reply to post by CobraCommander
 


This kind of stuff is why I will never ever ever hold a joint account, credit cards etc. I don't believe in the credit scam anymore, won't get sucked in again. And there is no possible way I am going to be the only one working in a relationship. Not gonna happen.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:50 PM
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reply to post by CobraCommander
 


I disagree.....child support IS for the day to day living costs of a child until he/she turns 18 or has left school. I don't know which country you're in but we have the CSA website and plenty of info there......it's quite clear and in black and white.

No custodial mother should have to pay 100% of all the rent, utilities, food, clothing, transport, education, medical/dental etc for her and her kids. You pay half of the kid's share then you'll find communication improves somewhat.

Now.......what do YOU think child support should cover? I can't to see your reply!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:53 PM
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reply to post by bluemirage5
 


So you think that a non custodial parent should have to pay his own rent and utilities, and also half of the other person's rent and utilities? That is insane! The only way I could see that being fair is if they agree to live in a duplex and split rent and utilities 50/50...
edit on Wed, 01 Jun 2011 23:53:31 -0500 by TKDRL because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:54 PM
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Originally posted by CaDreamer
reply to post by stargate73
 


that is perhaps the most brilliant thing that has been said on this thread. you are an angel.

I don't see myself as an angel (but thanks) I was just raised to treat others the way you wanted to be treated and to be honest in everything you do. To me that includes raising my children. If I was out blowing their money on things for myself I don't feel I would be a very worthwhile person or a very good parent. I understand though there might be times were someone might have to rely on child support as a temporary solution after losing a job etc. But this should be temporary and the money should be paid back.
But the same leeway should be given to the non custodial parent. If they lose a job or have a downgrade in pay that was not of their doing then the custodial parent should do what they can to help them out. Whether it is a cut in child support or whatever it takes. I would let my ex borrow from the kids account or whatever needed to be done if he was to lose his job or if I thought his quality of life was affected in anyway. I know him well enough to know he would pay it back. It does not benefit the child to see either parent suffering and worrying over money. Sadly though this is not the way it works in the majority of cases.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:55 PM
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reply to post by CobraCommander
 


Mate....I'm not ignorant to whats going on in the USA and the amount of mortgagee sales. Don't give me that rubbish you played no hand in signing that bank loan for the house or using that credit card and that you did'nt want that second child to your wife. BS !



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:57 PM
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Originally posted by fooks

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by CobraCommander



Lol. I am not a fan of abortion really. But so long as that is an option for women, that is where the man's responsibility ends. If she wants to keep it, that's her choice.

Not to mention that she could also give it up for adoption. Can the man put the kid up for adoption if he can't afford to pay support?


BS - the man's responsibility starts the minute his zipper goes down.



sorry annee, unless you are talking rape,

it takes 2 to tango, it has to be worked out when known or before hand.

when the law or a hostile spouse or partner insists then there are real dangers.

a dad can take the kids if he has the money, a mom can plead victim, useing the kids is what it all comes down to.

been there, not done that.



Very true but lets remember that Annee is gay and therefore has given up her right to have any opinion on this manner as she has sworn off "breeding".

Looking at this issue as a womens rights topic when in fact you will not be in a position to procreate with a man is outrageous and infuriating. Stick too one side of the fence or the other.

Don't lump women's rights with gay rights, the two contradict each other and is pointless.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:57 PM
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Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


This kind of stuff is why I will never ever ever hold a joint account, credit cards etc. I don't believe in the credit scam anymore, won't get sucked in again. And there is no possible way I am going to be the only one working in a relationship. Not gonna happen.


I held a joint checking account with one of my exes, and a single joint $500 credit card. Wasn't really a problem. The real problem came from the fact that she came into the relationship with less credit than me and some bad marks on her credit too. So, I wound up being suckered into over-extending myself as poverty set in on both of us. Once my cards were maxed out, she was gone. Went back to live with her mother.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:59 PM
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Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by stargate73
The mothers who abuse this need to receive education on what this money is actually for and be forced to account for their spending. I know plenty of custodial parents who receive child support and refuse to work and it makes me sick. It is not the father's responsibility to support the child 100% let alone the custodial parent, it should be a 50/50 venture.


Oh I so agree. I really support the non-custodial parent should be able to designate payments to something concrete.

My younger daughter by intent makes sure her child support payment goes toward rent every month. She feels her children having a stable home place is #1 priority. He also pays for daughter's insurance and activities such as dance classes. So he knows exactly where the money is going.





ok, great! an accounting of what the money is for and make it go there..

these judgments of, "the life i am acoutomed to" is bs.



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 12:00 AM
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reply to post by TKDRL
 


yep.......is that alright?

Perhaps if he has any brains in his head and not between his legs.......he would work on putting his marriage back together again! I know, it's costly to woo another woman after paying rediculous amounts of child support! Most non-custodial fathers on this thread would'nt be paying half of all their kids expenses and don't I know it!



posted on Jun, 2 2011 @ 12:01 AM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CobraCommander
 


I disagree.....child support IS for the day to day living costs of a child until he/she turns 18 or has left school. I don't know which country you're in but we have the CSA website and plenty of info there......it's quite clear and in black and white.

No custodial mother should have to pay 100% of all the rent, utilities, food, clothing, transport, education, medical/dental etc for her and her kids. You pay half of the kid's share then you'll find communication improves somewhat.

Now.......what do YOU think child support should cover? I can't to see your reply!


Half of the child's food, clothing, medical, and daycare should be covered. That's about it. It is no additional cost for a woman to have the heat on her apartment no matter how many kids are in there with her. It is no additional cost for a mother to let the kid watch the television. It is not the man's responsibility to support YOUR household.



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