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Men and Child support. What is the answer?

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posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:19 PM
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reply to post by bluemirage5
 


746 for medical dental vision and orthodontic per month zero deductible everything. one child is special needs... legally blind
i dont need you to mock me or to try and examine my finances ..... it is irrelevant to the meaning of the thread ...i am not pleading on my own behalf. i don't expect to benefit in any way from this thread nor will legislation happen before i would have been child support free i stop paying in 4 months.
It is the issue that matters. stop trying to misdirect the thread...its trollish
edit on 1-6-2011 by CaDreamer because: (no reason given)




posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:19 PM
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Let me just make clear here too. My position in this debate thus far has been strictly about the LAW requiring men to pay support. There is no doubt that morally a man should be paying to support his kids. But that does not mean that my moral opinion should be translated into a law that would throw a man in jail for non-payment of decisions that are well beyond his control.

The most successful split-household parenting I see today is in cases where the courts are not involved AT ALL. Often the father pays NO set amount whatsoever, but gladly forks over some cash on an as-needed basis. My best buddy spends half his time at his exes house watching her 5 other kids by three different men, along with his own son and a daughter he raised as his own.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:19 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by And Now What
 


You know, funny thing that. I know alot of non-custodial fathers and their ex wives......and when no:2 wife comes along....I think, omg you can't be serious!

Usually, the first wife is the right one but so many husbands just throw away the best thing that ever happened to them. They soon find out their mistake....by then it's too late.


You have just redeemed yourself there

you are now my hero-et..

only been married once, and even though SHTF with us, I still miss her from time to time, Thank god we didnt have kids though....... amen!!!!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:22 PM
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reply to post by bluemirage5
 


Not true at ALL! I missed a crucial court case one time,because I had NO choice and had to work,because I started a new job. My Ex made the hearing,and stated to the Judge I made 1000 dollars a week.At the time it was more like 2000 a month. Low and behold,I was being charged the percentage of 1000 a week.It took 2 years to get that modified. Not only that, the Judge kept the original debt,with intrest on my arrears,even after I showed him with correct paperwork,She lied to the court. This is all a money game,and by NO means does the system truly care about kids,or the non-custodial. Anything to garnish wages,keep federal and state income taxes,anything to make interest on money meant for the kids.

Heres another one.I had my children living with me,while I went through custody hearings. I was STILL being ordered to pay child support,while these hearings were taking place.My money was going into the "interest- bearing slush" fund,and was to be awarded to the person who would finally get full custody of the children. By Judges order ONLY,was the money to be released. I was awarded full custody.When I went to the Child support agency with my attorney,with said document,to release the money,they said it wasnt there!!!!! SOMEONE released the thousands of dollars,that was rightfully my children's,to my EX's!!!!! I was told if I wanted that money,I would have to take it up with my EX's!!! I asked my attorney if I should sue.I really was upset.I had borrowed so much money,owed so much to family and friends,and lived on borrowed money,to take care of my children. He told me,"do you really think you can win against an agency that doesnt care?' That is the system in a nutshell.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:24 PM
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Originally posted by queenofsheba

Originally posted by HomerinNC
reply to post by die_another_day
 


dont get me started on alimony...
alimony just means: I'm too lazy to get a job, so pay me for sitting around and doing nothing


Most likely means I've been out of the workforce for many years raising your children and it's gonna take me a little while to gain a marketable skill so for those years lost taking care of you and your kids please help me out here 'till I can get on my feet.


Yeah, it sounds good on paper, but come on, how many actually DO that???



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:24 PM
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.I have 3 kids under the age of 7. My x husband gets the kids whenever he chooses maybe a weekend out of the month. It's difficult. Most men know children are annoying and that's why they don't want full custody. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything, but having my name called 50 times a day followed by screaming melt downs and tantrums can be stressful.

Plus I know men enjoy their freedom to roam, just imagine having a baby strapped to your back 24/7...



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:25 PM
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reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Where you talk about tax breaks and incentives for paying support on time though, that's all well and good, but that doesn't really solve any problems.

Like I pointed out, poverty in general is a HUGE issue, so many people need help, tax breaks, social assistance of any kind to make up for the shortfall in wages being paid to workers in this country.

Why should you get a tax break at all for having children? Shouldn't I get a tax break for NOT having children that I couldn't afford? Instead, I am punished by the tax man for being responsible.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:26 PM
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reply to post by stargate73
 


that is perhaps the most brilliant thing that has been said on this thread. you are an angel.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:27 PM
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Originally posted by Teeky
.I have 3 kids under the age of 7. My x husband gets the kids whenever he chooses maybe a weekend out of the month. It's difficult. Most men know children are annoying and that's why they don't want full custody. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything, but having my name called 50 times a day followed by screaming melt downs and tantrums can be stressful.

Plus I know men enjoy their freedom to roam, just imagine having a baby strapped to your back 24/7...



works pretty good for me.. Women love lil babies,
and responsible dads raising their children,
The Women I like to roll with dig that.. LOL



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:27 PM
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Originally posted by CobraCommander



Lol. I am not a fan of abortion really. But so long as that is an option for women, that is where the man's responsibility ends. If she wants to keep it, that's her choice.

Not to mention that she could also give it up for adoption. Can the man put the kid up for adoption if he can't afford to pay support?


BS - the man's responsibility starts the minute his zipper goes down.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:29 PM
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reply to post by CobraCommander
 


Mate......I bring up 3 children, now late teens and almost adults. I received $24.00 a month child support for all 3 allocating them to less than $2.00 each a week each.

My kids got what they needed.....mind you though, I don't have more than 3 pair of shoes in my wardrobe, my hairdresser see's me like clockwork once every 5 years, I don't have pedicures or facials (do that myself), I have a very basic wardrobe because I'm not a clothes freak. My social life is non-existant because of my duties as a mother and a businesswoman. I'm frugal, recycle what I can, I have no debts. I have a sharp mind when it comes to money and I'm damn good at juggling with what I have. There are no throw outs in my house; as kids clothing becomes worn and too small, you'll find a beautiful quilt on a bed somewhere in the house or cushion covers made up from scrap fabric and old clothing. Unwanted gifts becomes rewrapped gifts for someone else. You'll be surprised what I have accomplished.

Yep, I know how to survive; put me in a tent and within a month I'll be living like a wealthy Shiek!



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:29 PM
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reply to post by CaDreamer
 


I do remember you saying yesterday that you had the Cadillac medical plan for your kids. Special needs is even more costly or course.

There's another whole issue too though. Damn medical insurance rip off in this country. Ugh, dont get me started there.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:30 PM
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Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by And Now What
 


You know, funny thing that. I know alot of non-custodial fathers and their ex wives......and when no:2 wife comes along....I think, omg you can't be serious!

Usually, the first wife is the right one but so many husbands just throw away the best thing that ever happened to them. They soon find out their mistake....by then it's too late.


you wouldnt say that if you met my first wife....



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:31 PM
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reply to post by Teeky
 


I get my son, AT A MINIMUM, every other weekend, but I take him during the week and off weekends as well. My boy and I have a tight bond. Dear old mommy has her issues, but if it was up to me, I'd have full custody, not so I wouldnt have to pay, but I KNOW I am the better parent



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:34 PM
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reply to post by CaDreamer
 


Mate; it would had been easier if you told us you had a child with a disability. I too have one and I know the medical costs involved. Perhaps next time you would be alot clearer?



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:36 PM
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Originally posted by Teeky
.I have 3 kids under the age of 7. My x husband gets the kids whenever he chooses maybe a weekend out of the month. It's difficult. Most men know children are annoying and that's why they don't want full custody. Don't get me wrong I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything, but having my name called 50 times a day followed by screaming melt downs and tantrums can be stressful.

Plus I know men enjoy their freedom to roam, just imagine having a baby strapped to your back 24/7...


It was YOUR choice to have those kids. You knew what being a mother meant, and no doubt knew the sort of man your husband was after the first one. Not a real "hands on" sort of Dad. A lot of men out there would prefer to be much more involved in their kid's lives, but can't because it interferes with a woman's future prospects. On the other hand, it's no shame for him to not really be a hands-on sort of father either, if that's just the sort of man he is.

But since you were married, I see it as his obligation to pay to support those children.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:37 PM
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reply to post by HomerinNC
 


There you go....so ex wife allocates you to more access time than your family court agreement! So your ex wife is not so bad after all, huh?



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:38 PM
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Originally posted by HomerinNC

Originally posted by queenofsheba

Originally posted by HomerinNC
reply to post by die_another_day
 


dont get me started on alimony...
alimony just means: I'm too lazy to get a job, so pay me for sitting around and doing nothing


Most likely means I've been out of the workforce for many years raising your children and it's gonna take me a little while to gain a marketable skill so for those years lost taking care of you and your kids please help me out here 'till I can get on my feet.


Yeah, it sounds good on paper, but come on, how many actually DO that???


i put my first wife through college paid for a degree in consumer electronics...never worked a day while we where married 10 years....still to this day...unemployed the youngest is about to turn 18. second wife worked on and off during marriage, had great potential too, hasnt worked a day since she left me 3 years ago...



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:38 PM
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Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by CobraCommander



Lol. I am not a fan of abortion really. But so long as that is an option for women, that is where the man's responsibility ends. If she wants to keep it, that's her choice.

Not to mention that she could also give it up for adoption. Can the man put the kid up for adoption if he can't afford to pay support?


BS - the man's responsibility starts the minute his zipper goes down.



Yup, and like I said, it ends with a cab ride to Planned Parenthood.



posted on Jun, 1 2011 @ 11:38 PM
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reply to post by HomerinNC
 


But because you're a MAN,and because you probably make MORE money then your EX,you will never get custody of your child.Unless your EX becomes a liability to your child. Then the courts give her MANY chances to "clean" up her problems,so she can be a productive parent. While you wait for this to happen,the child suffers. This is what I have seen in MANY court proceedings. The hoops a non-custodial goes through,to "prove" they are a good parent,the one that SHOULD get the child.



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